It had been two years since Killmonger took over Wakanda for a day. The time had James settled into the life of a farmer and Amnesia nearly finished with her project. She visited Shuri about every two weeks which was just about the same amount of time that passed between a new animal arriving on their small farm. James and Amnesia had a collie dog named Ellie, a mule named Phoebus, five goats, five chickens (they hadn't actually ordered another chicken, the hen just kind of appeared one day and it wasn't one of the neighbor's), four sheep, and a patchy cat (another stray) which remained unnamed due to Amnesia's wishes and James's certainty that they will not adopt a cat.
The two had settled into a routine that suited the couple very well. Amnesia would tinker while James tended to the garden and the animals, she'd make lunch and they'd both make dinner. They were happy. So it was unusual for Shuri to walk into the lab and see Amnesia working at one of the sand tables first thing in the morning.
"What's wrong?" Shuri asks unceremoniously standing next to Amnesia and analyzing what she's doing with her project. Amnesia is still working on the energy dead zone. Now it's evolved to a stone-like object wrapped in elegantly swirled vibranium that responds to a strand of vibranium implanted in Amnesia's wrist.
"James wants to have kids. I can't have kids. I don't think I could handle raising kids either. I don't know how to tell him. And this is ready for testing but I don't think I've got the settings right, I want a second opinion and I want to track down Vision so he can help me test it."
"Do it. Find Vision, take a break. You guys usually bounce back very easily after you don't see each other for a period of time. And the mind stone gives off similar energy readings right?" Shuri asks.
"Yeah," Amnesia says meekly. Shuri calls her brother because he always had a way of getting through to the white haired girl. Amnesia returns to her work, setting her project in the so-called "oven" to join all the materials. Then she starts to get in contact with Vision. She glances up when T'Challa comes in and observes Shuri filling him in and sighs knowing she's about to get a lecture from one of her closest friends and adopted brother.
"Why are you so afraid?" T'Challa asks with no introduction. Amnesia just looks at him blankly.
She's afraid James will think she's broken. She's afraid that if he won't accept that she doesn't want kids. She's afraid he won't understand why she doesn't want to bring another into the fucked up world. She's afraid that she won't know what to do. She's afraid that something will come and knock down the life they've built. She's afraid to show him that she's never stopped running. She's afraid she'll loose him.
"James Buchanan Barnes is a good man. He loves you very much. This will not affect that. Talk to him," T'Challa says not allowing Amnesia to make excuses.
"I know I need to talk to him. I know he'd be a brilliant parent, the same can't be said about me though. I can't have children. My reproductive system is shot and irreparable, and if I could fix it, I wouldn't. I'm too afraid I'll see the world end and I couldn't subject that to family. Kids aren't my future. But if they're James's, I can't keep him from that. I can't ask that of him. I don't know how to tell him he's wasted his time if that's what he wants from me. I don't know how to approach this matter with him at all. I need to think."
"Take a ship, go finish your project. Think, then come back home. Explain this to the white wolf before you go. That man has had enough worry to last a lifetime," T'Challa says eventually, weighing her words. "You should speak to Mr Stark, I think he shares some of your worries," he adds remembering the man from one of his last outings. "And he might need the support, I heard his wedding was postponed again."
"You're right. He's worked with the mind stone too so he might have some ideas that we haven't thought of. Unlikely but you never know," Amnesia muses, faraway even though she's in the same room. She doesn't want to leave Wakanda. She doesn't want to leave her soldier. She thinks Vision may be able to offer wisdom with her memory of the aliens in his head, if those thoughts are put to rest, maybe raising a family won't be a bad idea. After all, Clint makes it work, how hard can it be.
"Good, so you'll be back within a week," Shuri states, pulling out Amnesia's project with special gloves and setting it on the sand table in front of Amnesia. Amnesia just nods slowly, setting up a plan and contacting Tony.
"I need to go talk to James."
Her nameless project shoots to her hand which she puts in her pocket. Then she furrowed her eyebrows, threw her shoulders back, bit her lip, thought about what she was going to say, and surprised Shuri, T'Challa, and Okoye who had just entered the room with a quick hug. She left as she got a reply from Tony and Shuri sent the privileges to one of the new jets Amnesia and her had designed a few months ago.
When she arrived at the farm James's rushed out from where they kept the feed, worry on his face. Immediately, he scooped her up off the bike as soon as she propped it up. He held her close and took a deep breath in, releasing the worry he felt when he woke up without her next to him. He holds her slightly away from him so he can look her up and down for damage, finding none, he focused on her face asking all of his questions with one look.
"Where the hell did you go?" He thunders nonetheless.
"I just, I don't know. James, I can't give you what you want. I can't get pregnant. My time with Hydra ruined that part of me. And I don't think I could do it. I can't raise a kid James. You'd be amazing but...I know how to love you. I don't know how to love a kid, or have responsibility over one. It's quiet but I don't think it will be soon. Something is coming and I can't live through it without you and if we got a kid caught up in that...
"I need to think James. I love you more than anything, but what you're proposing is a giant leap, one we both need to think on. I'm going to go find Vision, finish up my project and start tests I'll be back in no more than a week. He might be able to put some of my worries to rest."
"'Nesia, I love you. Just-please stay," he says calmly.
"I know what you're going to say James. I know you well enough to say that I think I know exactly what the future you imagine for us looks like," she murmurs holding his face in her hand and projecting the image in his head. "James, something is coming. I might lose you and that's bad enough; the more you have, the more you have to lose."
"Why am I just hearing about this now? I know the look on your face. This isn't something small. Why don't you talk to me?"
"I didn't want to worry you. A while after I was taken in, I pulled a small experiment with the mind stone in Vision's head. It took me a while, but what I first perceived as his dreams was actually the stone's past. The people, or creatures that had the stone before Loki brought it here are going to come back for it. When they do they'll bring blood and ruin. I need to figure it out. It's keeping me up at night."
"That may not even happen in our lifetimes. 'Nesia, it's peace time," he says frustration crossing his face. Amnesia shakes her head.
"No, you don't understand. It's bigger than us and even if it comes after we're in the ground the effects will be catastrophic. I can't sit back and let it happen. You just, you don't understand," she says her bottled up frustration and worry coming out at once after not having been expressed for the past few years.
"Then make me understand," James replies matching her anger.
"The mind stone is the same type of energy as the tesseract, odds are there are more, and we don't stand a chance if they're weaponized against us. You saw Vision at the airport, imagine an evil one of him. This could be the thing that keeps us all from getting killed in a snap."
"The day won't come, not in our lifetime 'Nesia. We are allowed to live our lives now. Why don't you want to?"
"I'll be back in less than a week and keep you updated daily. We will finish this matter when I get back," Amnesia says finishing the conversation, done arguing with him.
James just watches, his jaw clenched as Amnesia walks away and packs up a few things, then he sees her off, going so far as to drive her to the palace. The ride there is full of tension and silence that Amnesia refuses to break out of spite. He's watching the jet disappear on the horizon and is joined by T'Challa. They remain silent for a minute before James breaks it with a sigh.
"Did she ever tell you the name of the project?" James asks looking at the other man.
"Yes. She called it the Grim Stone," he says.
"Do you think we'll need it?"
"You know your beloved better than any of us can hope to. She tricks us all into believing she's as innocent as a child when she in truth is perhaps more fierce than the greatest warrior. She is wise beyond compare and incredibly smart. The way she sees the world is unique, and she has never been wrong about the perils it holds. Amnesia isn't a prophet but the day I don't listen to her will be the day I join the ancestors. If she thinks there is a problem on the horizon, I believe her. We can only hope its a long ways off. I take it that is the real reason she doesn't want children?"
"Yes. She won't allow herself to be happy until the world is coated in impenetrable armor. She's had so much taken from her, she doesn't want to lose anything else. I just wish she didn't feel the need to run."
Meanwhile, Amnesia sets course for the upstate facility and confirms her arrival with Tony. She also tells him Vision better be there or she's going to blow something up. She wasn't really going to but she threw it in for old time's sake. Tony approved it and made sure he'd keep the facility clear of anyone that shouldn't know she's there so she wouldn't have to "Men in Black" anyone. It was empty for the most part anyway. They would've gone somewhere else but the facility is the best place to test out something like Amnesia's project. And a few hours later she landed and gave Tony a hug when he came out to greet her.
"What happened?" He asks seeing dried tears on her face.
"James and I had a fight."