OMG Guys thank you for sticking with me for this long it is mind (wait for it) Blowing, mind blowing! remember to please review love or hate all are welcome

We walked past Pauls house, the lights were on, I still felt tipsy from all the drinking, I stopped, swaying slightly. The guys seemed to pick up on what was going on.

'Lil, leave it' Seth called me to follow them, Kim was next to Jarad now looking worried I just started walking down his drive towards his house, the other stayed where they were.

'Lily' I heard Sam call, I stopped for a second, thinking about just leaving. I carried on

'You lot go' I heard Sm say I didn't know who he was talking to, I stumbled slightly, I could hear music or talking I couldn't figure it out, coming from his house, the tight pull on my chest was getting stronger and stronger. I didn't hear Seth walk up behind me keeping his distance but being there for me, he was my protective brother, he always had been. I stopped when I got to his front door, I just stood there, I lifted my hand to the door, the knock I did was so soft it didn't make a sound, the front porch shining down on me, like a spotlight on a stage waiting for my solo. I took a shaky breath and gathered my courage. I knocked on the door loud and hard, Sam and Emily were standing at the end of the drive watching, Seth was near me. I felt like it was just me all alone in the spotlight.

'Coming' A female voice called my stomach dropped I just stood there feeling like a child waiting at the headmasters office. The door opened, a tall, blonde, slim, she had natural make up on with big dark, heavy eye make up on, she was wearing calf length sued boots on with just a long shirt on. I had lost my voice, I had to look up at her. I heard the toilet flush,

'Can I help you?' she asked in her silky smooth voice

'I wanted to speak to Paul' I heard myself say it sounded stronger than I could have hoped for

'He has company right now, maybe call tomorrow after noon' she said giving me a quick smile and started to close the door on me,

'I didn't realize you were his PA' I said sticking my foot in the door taking her by surprise it was the drink taking over giving me this false sense of strength.

'Lottie, someone here?' I heard Paul call out in a casual tone my chest hurt I looked past her hoping to see him.

'Umm, no one important' she called back looking over her shoulder I opened my mouth ready for a fight but looking at her, it was no competition, Paul had chosen to spend the evening with her. I felt angry at my self for getting in this stupid state, I shouldn't be hung up on someone that didn't even care for me.

'Close the door then' I heard him call out he gave me a smirk and closed the door in my face, I just stood there for a second before the porch light went out, leaving me there alone in the dark. I felt numb, I never heard Seth, I cried out and jumped when he placed his hand on my shoulder making m jump, I spun around, there were no tears, no anger, nothing I had no idea how I should be feeling right now, I felt shut off,

'I should never have come back' I said looking at him, he was looking at me as though he was waiting for a reply, I walked away fro him, back to his I never heard anything else I was just talking and focused on getting home, I tripped over I had tore a hole in my tights, I just got up, I got in to my room, I got my P.J's I went to the bathroom and let the warm water wash over me taking my make up off, the dirt off of my hands, the shame from my cheeks, the drink from my breath, I pulled my hair up and turned the shower off feeling fresher. I went back to my room, Seth went in after me he had been on the phone, he went to his room, I heard his door shut, I rolled over it was nearly midnight, I couldn't sleep, my chest was hurting so much. I had messages from Kim and Beth but I didn't look at them I couldn't talk about it.

I sat up and rubbed my face my hair had fallen out, my head was hurting I pulled the hair tie around my wrist. I stood up and went to Seth's room, I knocked on the door there was no answer, I hoped I wasn't interrupting anything. I hoped that was a shower activity for him. I opened the door, he lay there, the covers off of him, laying there in his trackie bottoms, his arm under his pillow, I called his name out a few times, he slowly woke up he looked at me and bunched his eyebrows together

'What's going on?' he asked confused

'I can't sleep' I said walking over to him my hair falling over my face I moved it out of the way, and into a low pony tail, he moved over so his back was near the wall, making room for me, I got the covers and covered myself up, I found out the pack were never cold, they were always running hot hence the cut off shorts they were always in.

'Thanks' I said facing him all wrapped up. he just smiled at me and closed his eyes again, this time a fell asleep no problem. When I woke up I was still wrapped up, I was facing Seth who was still sound asleep. He had the covers over him now, I moved closer to him, his arm came around my waist, Seth always made me feel better, yet Paul could hurt me like I never knew was possible, I closed my eyes and wished the pain would just disappear.

I woke up and got out from the overs it was so warm and cosy under there, I went back to my room and got changed. I checked my phone and replied tot he girls, they really were the best. I sat at the breakfast bar eating a bowl of cereal chatting to the girls, filling them in on what happened, they couldn't believe it, it made my chest hurt but I didn't cry, the thought of Connor made me want to cry, I scooped the cereal into me, feeling hungry, Sue had gone to work to cover some shifts, she was always out. I heard Seths door open and close, I heard him yawn loudly, he got himself some breakfast, he sat opposite me, I locked my phone and placed it face down.

'How are you this morning?' he asked me

'Yeah I'm good thanks for letting me crash in your bed' I said smiling at him

'That's okay, look don't worry about Paul he'll explain it all' Seth said eating his food

'I'm over it, it hurts too much to be round him' I said looking down at my nearly empty bowl

'You don't mean that' Seth said shocked

'I do' I said my phone buzzing I looked

'Emilys birthday is today, Sam is having a small gathering at his tonight for her, but it is a surprise' I read out to him

'Cool' he smiled

'Have you got her anything?' I asked him looking over the counter trying to ignore the pain in my chest like some one had thumped into me.

'No' he shook his head

'Okay well you get something for her, and me, Kim and Beth are taking her out for lunch then bringing her back for the party' I told him he just took it in, I looked at the time

'Shit I'm running late' I put my bowl in the wash, I ran to my room put some make up on, got my bag ready let my hair down and straightened it, I checked myself over and nodded I grabbed the present I had got for Emily when Beth and I went shopping, I heard the horn of Kims car, I grabbed everything and almost skidded out of the room.

'We will be back about 5pm okay, Sam will have everything ready' I called out to him

'Have fun' he shouted back at me

'You too' I closed the door, I ran over to the car got in the back.

'Happy Birthday!' I called out once I got in we were all so excited we were going into the city for a meal then a spa, Emily had no idea, Kim told me how much she did for everyone and expected and usually got nothing in return. It really took my mind off of everything.

We were on our way back, I text Sam and let him know.

'Thank you all so much this had been the best birthday, it has just been brilliant' Emily gushed she was so happy it made us all so happy, we chatted about the spa

'He was so into you' Beth said to Kim

'Well he can look all he likes' she said making us all laugh

'You okay?' Beth said quietly to me in the back I just nodded.

Kim drove us all to Sams it looked dead, I was worried, then all these lights came on outside, showing the BBQ, the chairs, a table of gifts and Sam standing there, Emily cried out and clapped her hands in excitement. She just looked at us with tears in her eyes

'GO' Kim said to her Emily opened the door and sprinted over to Sam, he wrapped his arms around her and picked her off of the ground as she kissed him. We got everything out of the car and helped the guys who were dotted around doing different jobs, I looked and Saw Paul sorting the BBQ out, I got her gifts and put them on the table with the others, we hadn't had time to open them, Emily was telling Sam all about our day, Quill and Embry, were sorting the gifts out, Seth was setting chairs out.

'Hey' Seth called me over I walked over putting my bag over my shoulder

'Hey this is amazing' I said gesturing to everything around me.

I watched Emily as she excitedly rushed around looking at everything, Sam was just smiling at her, I saw Paul sorting the food out, he looked my way, I looked away and back to Emily, she threw her arms around Sam again, I clasped my hands together and held them to my chest, smiling at them.

'Lil can you give me a hand?' Embry said I nodded not looking at Paul, I heard a soft growl coming from his way I ignored it,

'What's up?' I asked

'Can you ask Paul when the food will be ready?' he asked me I just looked at him

'Can't you?' I asked him

'Please?' he asked I did it only because I wanted everything perfect for Emily,she was now going around everyone thanking them, I walked over to Paul I played with some of my hair, between my fingers, I looked down at my shoes, I looked up as I got closer to him, he was focused on the BBQ though I saw is side glance to me.

'Embry was wondering when the food would be ready' I said not getting too close to him, I looked at me and straightened up to his full hight, he gave me a smile I couldn't return it, I just waited for his reply his smile faded

'20 minuets' he said gruffly

'Thanks, I'll tell him' I said turning round looking for Embry, he was near Jake talking he saw me coming, they gave each other a worried look

'Paul said bout 20 minuets' I passed on to him, I saw a shy Bella almost hiding behind Jake, Emily came over and hugged Jake and Embry thanking them, she gave Bella a hug and a smile saying she was glad to see she could make it.

'Thanks' Bella said with a slight laugh and tucked her hair behind her ear, Jake took Emily in a bear hug. She laughed and thanked them and commented on what they had been working on, you could tell that what Emily thought of them meant a lot to them, she turned to me, she tilted her head and opened her arms.

'Lily pad' she said pouting at me I went over to her

'Do you love it, Sam has been working so hard' I told her giving her a big squeeze

'I do love it Sam told me that you organised our day out and whipped the guys into action' she said smiling at me

'Well everyone loves you EM and it is a day all about you' I told her stroking her arm

'Thank you!' she cried and wrapped her arms around me gain I laughed and let her go to see her other guests. I saw Bella I raised my hand up to her she popped her little hand out from her long hoodie sleeve, Jake was staying close to her, always touching her. Were they imprints? I couldn't ask them.

'Hey Bella it is good to see you' I said to her moving towards Jake She moved out from behind him we stood and commented on all of the effort everyone had gone to.

'Emily has always been so kind to me' Bella said watching her

'Yeah Em is truly amazing' I said thinking abut what people had told me bout her

'Yeah' Bella sighed we carried on talking about what we had both been up to. Jake tuning now and again to make sure Bella was still there, and that she was okay.

'FOOD' Paul called out, people seemed to flood over to the BBQ it was mayhem people were just digging in and it was mad I walked over.

'Lil help' Emily mouthed and pointed at the chaos

'Right form a line get a plate then work your way to the BBQ' I called out getting everyone to do as they were told, I started by passing plates down the line, people carried it on for me, people moved along the table, I opened the tubs and put spoon in so they could help themselves,

'All meat go to Paul, if you're Veggie then just say' I called out helping everyone reach things and telling them what things were, Emily was laughing and talking to everyone, there was Bella she didn't have much on her plate compared to Jake, he couldn't fit much more on there, Bella looked at all of the food, I took her plate from her and put a little bit of salad, pasta, bread, I put a few other bits on and passed it back to her.

'Thanks' she said shyly I winked at her Jake placed is hand on her shoulder and they moved down the line. Quill had his plate piled up he was helping himself to the chips.

'Save some for everyone else' I called out to him taking him by surprise, this got some laughs from the others, I stacked the empty things together and moved everything else forwards, I looked towards Paul now and again, he was helping everyone, laughing and talking. I smiled his way but got back to helping most people had food and were sitting down, I re-arranged everything so it was easy to get to, I saw Paul stoking up the BBQ again. I took a load of the empties into the house I placed them on the sideboard. I walked out gain making sure everyone was okay Emily was still chatting away, she was having an amazing time.

I got 2 plates one for me the other for Paul I put what I wanted on mine and piled Pauls up with a little of everything, I took them over to the BBQ, he looked at the plates.

'I thought you better ave something t eat' I said holding out the plate to him

'Oh thanks' he said he put the burgers and sausages on his he held them out for me I nodded as he put them on my plate.

'Any chicken?' I asked him looking he had the last bit on his plate

'You can have this' he said about to move it from his plate

'No, no it's fine I have loads anyway' I said surprised he would do something like that without a second thought, my mind flashed back to last night, my chest rippled with pain.

'Take it' he said holding my gaze

'Half it' I said challenging it he ripped it in half I smiled

'Happy?' he asked taking his piled up plate from me I just gave him a look and walked off to find somewhere to sit, everywhere was taken, I looked down at Seth, he was busy eating most of the guys were focussed on their food more than what was going on around themselves, there was a fire pit there was a seat near the warmth, I sat down and sat my plate on my lap, I looked down at it, I picked it it, I left my chicken, I placed my burger and salad in my bun and some other bits, I looked around as I tucked into my burger, Paul was talking to Seth and looking my way, they bumped fists as Paul continued to walk over to me, I looked there wasn't a seat apart from the over turned crate that was next to me, he looked down at it.

'Here I'll swap' I said putting my burger down and moving to the low uncomfortable crate, he sat on the chair, we sat in silence. I just looked around me, my knees up to my chest, Embry closest to us.

'Last night was good Paul you should have come out mate' Embry said leaning towards us

'Yeah, Quill and Jake were telling me' he said slightly insinuating something,

'You had a good time Lil?' He asked me

'Yeah it was fun' I said just looking at the food I was pushing around my plate

'Yeah?' Paul asked me he raised one eyebrow I just nodded and shoving my mouth full so I couldn't talk.

'Did you get that girls number?' I asked there was silence them I looked at Embry waiting for his answer, he swallowed his mouthful,

'Well' he smirked and pulled at his shirt, I just rolled my eyes Paul leaned over so they could bump fists, I just shot Paul a nasty look before going back to eating, the pain in my chest growing again, I stood up and walked over to get a drink,

'Lil?' Emily called out as I passed her I looked back at her and smiled

'Yeah?'

'You okay?' he said concerned, I guessed all the guys could hear our conversations, what did Paul know, did they all know abut, Lottie, or whatever her name was, did they not want us to be together?

'I'm fine, I just need a drink, would you like anything?' I asked seeing her plate almost empty

'No, I'm okay. Thank you though' she added on I smiled and carried on over to where the drinks were being kept, Sam had done so much for Emily, she was so lucky.

I stood there looking at all the drink, I once was drunk with feelings now I was stone sober with the reality I faced. Paul had said he had imprinted on me, he liked me, we watched films and chatted, then he gets so angry, he said he had tried to deny this imprint, did he not want me? I didn't understand I felt as though I was just standing alone not knowing where to go, or when I was going. Had he slept with her could an imprint be broken, the pain in my chest began to strike again, harder I clutched my chest, I held my breath and let out a slow deep breath. Is this us being broken apart, we hadn't had a chance to be together, I heard Kim laughing. I felt my nose tingle and my eyes blured and the bottles blurred together, I took another breath, I calmed down, I grabbed the bottle of soda and filled the cup up, I dunk half of it then filled it again, I turned around ready to go back. He was looking at me, straight at me, I couldn't look away, I couldn't smile I just looked at him, because of him I was this. I blinked a few times and my eyes fell to the ground, we had, had a busy day.

Sam stood up and everyone fell silent, as the Alpha he was boss he had that sense of respect and authority about him,

'Thank you to everyone that has come tonight. Tonight is all about this lady, my beautiful Emily' he said pulling her up the girls all cooded at his the guys smirked and nudged each other. I just looked at them clutching my drink to my chest, my head tilted listening to how Sam adored Emily and then it was her turn, she said all of her thank yous, we all raised a toast to her and had a drink followed by a big round o applause, the music started back up and the chatting continued.

'Hey, what you doing alone?' Jakes deep voice brought me back with a slight start, I blinked a few times and looked up at him.

'What are you doing here?' I shot back at him taking a sip of drink, I saw Paul looking, almost straining to hear us.

'I just wanted a drink' Jake said pouring 2 cups

'I like Bella' I told him a smile appeared on his face, lighting it up, the skin crinkling around his eyes

'Good, she like you too' he said leaning on the table taking a drink out of his cup Bella sat there looking around at the others looking lost.

'Jake, You and Bella, could you two be together?' I asked him as I looked at Bella

'We are together' he said

'No I mean like together, get married, kids?' I said turning my attention to him

'Well I'd like nothing more than that, but that Cullen has his claws in her deep, she won't leave him, I would never leave her' he said looking at her smiling

'She's lucky to have you always there for her' I said sighing

'I'll always be here for her' he said re-filling his cup

'Even if you find your imprint' I asked worried

'Always, I've promised her that. Lily what Bells and I have, is stronger than an imprint, she always comes back to me, we are meant to be together, she just hasn't seen it yet' he said nudging into me

'You're the soppiest romantic I know' I said chuckling

'You know it' he said walking back to Bella, she perked up as soon as she saw Jake approaching her, she smiled at me I gave her a small wave, she blushed as Jake went over and said something in her ear, I smiled to myself and took another drink. I looked around the table, I poured some Vodka in with my soda. I made my way back to my hard uncomfortable seat.

Seth had his leg sticking out I didn't see it, I tripped over I cried out I put my hand out to catch my self, Seth saw me and pulled me on to him, I landed on top of him, we fell backwards, my drink went all over us, I lay on top of him, with Seth on the chair and the drink covering us, the guys cheered as others laughed.

'Sorry' we said at the same time, we burst out laughing I put my head in my hand, I heard the deep growl from Paul as did everyone else, the laughing stopped as he grumbled on.

'Sorry' I said to Seth again as I moved off of him, he jumped up and righted the chair, it looked like he had wet him self which caused more laughter, he just laughed it off

'I'll dry' he said looking at my worried expression, my top was soaked.

'Lil, I'll find you a pullover' Emily said still laughing

'Thanks' I said I looked at Paul his face was thunder it scared me, Sam stood up Pauls face started to relax, I hurried over towards Emily as everyone laughed and poked fun at Seth, I didn't see Sam go over to talk to Paul. Emilys house was so sweet.

'Here' she said looking though the fresh laundry

'Thanks Em sorry about this' I said pulling my jumper off

'Don't worry, sorry Paul is such an Ass' she said rubbing my arm I just shrugged

I pulled on the dark green hoodie it was cosy

'Thanks' I said laughing we both laughed as we walked out, Paul still sat there, Sam walke up to Emily and wrapped his arms around her

'Are you alright?' he asked me

'Yeah I'm alight, thanks' I smiled

'Good' we all walked back over to the fire, I got another drink and made sure I didn't trip this time, I moved over towards Embry a bit more to distance myself from Paul slightly. I picked my plate up and carried on eating.

As the night wound down, I helped take the food into Emilys and tidy the worse of the mess away, just helping out, people had already left as they had work or family's to get back to, Emily stood saying goodbye to everyone, I was stacking the chairs up and taking them over to the shed. I left them there and went back for some more, as I carried them I thought back to when Mom would have parties, it was the saddest part when everyone left, when you had to do the clearing up then sit there all alone. I carried the chairs over to the shed again. I went back for the rest Em walked over to me and slung her arm over my shoulder yawning

'Lily pad, I'm so tired you must be shattered, thank you for the best day ever, you're the best an-' she slurred

'And I think you are ready for bed' I said laughing at her sweetness I saw Sam who just smiled at his drunk partner

'I think Emily has had a very exciting day and now it is time for bed' I said laughing at the pout that was now on her face

'Night Lily pad' she said draping herself over Sam

'Night sweet pea' I said blowing her a kiss, I yawned and stretch, I looked around at what was Left, Paul was pottering around doing a few things, and there was also Jake lifting all the tables, actually helping, he had driven Bella home a couple of hours ago. I grabbed the handles of the bucket of the empty bottles and cans, I dragged it clinking away, to the back of the house where their bins were, I walked back covering my mouth yawning again.

'Lil go home' Jake said putting his large hands on his hips if Sam wasn't Alpha I would say it would be Jake.

'Really, are you sure?' I asked looking around

'Yes, now go' he said starting to take the lights down.

'Okay, see you later, thanks for a lovely evening' I said to none in particular, I went tot he front door where I quickly took of Emilys hoodie and put my own on which was now dry, I slung my bag over my shoulder, I checked my phone and started the short walk to Sues.

I never saw Jake telling Paul to follow me, Paul didn't know what to do.

'Lily' I heard someone shout I knew that someone, I looked back Paul was jogging towards me, his hair sprayed so it didn't flop about over his face, yet it still looked so soft.

'Yeah?' I questioned him

'I'll walk with you, I'm off home now anyway' he said starting to walk beside me

'Okay' I didn't know what else I could say, he had made his mind up what he was doing.

We walked in silence for a while, the pain in my chest settled, I liked walking near him, how could things with this guy change so often.

'So will Lottie be waiting for you?' I asked him, seeing the shock on his face briefly then it faded

'Who?' he asked I looked at him

'The tall blond wearing well, not much, who was at ours last night she was very adamant that none was going to interrupt you' I said saying what I wanted to say, why should I keep it to myself and feel rubbish.

'Lottie? She is my Cousin' he said almost scoffing was he lying trying to throw me off of the scent

'It isn't my business I was just making conversation' I said holding onto the strap over my shoulder

'So you missed me?' he asked with a tone of smugness in his voice

'No, just wanted to see why you missed the party but like I say not my business' I waved towards him showing I wasn't worried what he did.

'Lily Lottie is my cousin, she just turned up, she can't behave herself so I kept her away from everyone' he said turning to me I didn't stop walking

'Oh right, I'm sorry you both didn't make it to the party' I said felling stupid for over reacting

'So this is why you have been so off with me' he said

'No it isn't I don't know what is going on with you!' I said feeling so frustrated he just blinked and listened

'One moment, we are talking, then you say you didn't want this imprint, them we are spending time together, then you blank me, leave me, then you're acting so angry, over protective, then random girls, you tell me about your life then say nothing, I fell sick, I feel lost, I don't know what to do' I gushed letting it all out, muddling through my words unable to get it all out in the same order that it is spinning around my head. I was facing him, a small smile turned to a big beaming smile spread across his face.

'What? Now you're going to laugh at me' I said about to storm off, he just took my hand in his.

'Lily, I really like you, it kills me you think that way, I want to know you, I would never want to hurt you, I am protective over you, I don't like to see others give you what I should' he said softer this time

'And what is that?' I said to him

'Happiness, comfort, happiness, feelings, memories' he said thinking the grip of his hand loosened slightly

'Then do it' I told him our eyes meeting, he just opened his eye like a gasping fish

'I-I' he stuttered, I just rolled my eyes and took my arm away and carried on walking by myself back to Seths, I heard a growl from behind me I didn't look around, when I heard the snarl, it gave me goose bumps, I looked, his wolf stood there, his large grey form filled my vision, he stopped snapping and snarling and just stood there holding his head up higher, I looked at him, he approached me cautiously, he nudged into me. I closed my eyes and took in his scent, it consumed me, he circled me a few times so close to me, he was so warm. I stretched my hand out ran my fingers through his fur, he lowered my head, we were eye to eye, I leaned my head against his and closed my eyes.

'Please just tell me what you want' I whispered to him keeping my eyes closed

'I can't do this, I can't keep feeling like this' I whispered to him feeling my throat getting tight

he pressed against me I smiled as I breathed out

'Just talk to me, you're a good guy' I said running my hand through the fur on his neck, he moved against my tough, I felt his body hum making me smile again, he phased back to human, my hands on his neck, resting there, I opened my eyes, I was looking into his deep brown eyes.

'I want you' he said in a deep voice

'Then don't leave me' I said rubbing my thumb along his neck, he moved closer to me. He took a deep breath our lips met, his warm lips closed over mine, his hand on my waist pulling me closer to his hard body, my hand moved up to his hair, out lips parted briefly, my breath hitched, we kissed again, his hot tongue entering my mouth running along my tongue. I pulled him back towards me, I needed him, his smell was intoxication, my other hand run along his torso and arm, I moaned against his lips as he held me firmly against him.

exciting eh?