TW: Mentions of intended/potential child abuse (no actual abuse or explicit descriptions)
Sibyl: Greek oracles or prophets. The most famous being the Delphic Sibyl, who predated the very real Pythia, the priestesses of Apollo at Delphi.
And on we go.
Eight
"Wait, you're letting me go?"
They were still in the courtyard, Bella's hands stilled in the pools of water that had gathered around her as she sat on the ground, watching Hades as he sat stiffly on the bench in front of her. The cold water bit into her thighs, but she found herself grounded in the feeling. The steady cold kept her alive in the present, focused and familiar as she attempted to quell the constant panic that seemed to have taken up home in her chest. A thick balloon of anxiety, renting out the spot between her lungs. Hecate's steady gaze was also trained on the lord of death, even in her judgment. Hades had explained their plan to go back to Bella's world, to reunite her with Alice.
"I will escort you to your sister." Hades dropped each word carefully into her lap. "My… messenger found Alice. I sent him after you were brought here, to ensure her safety."
Even if it was a ploy to play into her favor, Bella felt her chest tighten at the gesture. He had looked out for Alice, considerate enough to at least not totally abandon her, and there was a level of respect earned in that.
"Thank you," she said, her voice cracking earnestly.
He spread his hands on his lap and looked away with a slight bob of his chin, unsure what to do with her sincerity.
Morpheus took advantage of the silence to stand, stretching his arms with a slight pop in each shoulder. Bella found herself leaning away from his towering figure, her fingers pressing into the floor as the water swirled around them.
She felt a thousand years older than she had, what, days ago? How could she leave this place and find Alice again, live again in a world she knew now sat squarely on top of another?
She stood, arms crossed tightly around her waist. "Wait, you're all coming, right?"
The three of them looked at her, Morpheus and Hades in surprise paired with Hecate's even amusement. Bella shifted her weight anxiously from one foot to the other, anger and fear brawling in her gut.
"You wish for us to come?" Hades asked.
"You expect me to just go back to my old shit like nothing happened? Just, what, live and pretend this"—she waved her arm in a circle that cut Hade's breath straight from his lungs—"isn't real? That I'm not, what, some goddess in a human body? That I'm not supposedly, you know." She rubbed her hands together, her thumb rolling over the ghost of where a wedding band might sit. Hades's gaze locked in on the spot.
"In truth, we were planning to accompany you, would you have us, as danger still lingers—" Hades started carefully.
"It's always dangerous," Bella shot back. "I want answers, and I want you to talk to Alice." Otherwise, she'll never believe me. She could practically picture Alice's concerned expression as she would cradle Bella's face while Bella desperately tried to explain. No, really, I was in Hell, or the underworld, whatever, and there was this three-headed dog, and some fuck who said we were married. No, Alice, I promise I'm not high, I'm okay, really, don't call an ambulance, we can't afford that shit. Her heart clenched, imagining the heartbreak her sister must be feeling—who was making sure she was sleeping alright? Or eating? Had James kept in line?
"I want to go. Now." Bella turned to Hades. "I want to leave."
"It may be best we clear the fog on your mind before you leave, little one." Hecate stood, her gentle hand grasping Bella's shoulder with a cooling grip. A burst of fresh calm spread through Bella's core like a menthol breeze. She breathed, her sinuses nearly burning.
Bella eyed the titan wearily. She hadn't forgotten what had happened the last time Hecate was around. She had a feeling the sudden cold calm poking at her mind was anything but natural.
"Bella," Hades murmured. "Let me tell you about your mother. Your past. How you came here. I believe it to be best we speak now before we return to your world."
"I want to find Alice," Bella nearly begged, but she sat. She dug her thumbnail into her skin, cutting crescent moons into her fingers.
"We will," Hades promised. "But it's best we speak now."
"My mother?" He had her attention.
"Demeter," Morpheus sighed, dropping to the ground and running a hand through his shaggy hair. "Bitter bitch."
Hades's gaze snapped sharply to him. Morpheus laughed, "What? Like she's going to hear me all the way down here?"
"My mom's a bitch and my husband is an asshole." Bella dropped her head into her hands. Guess family always sucked, even for a goddess.
"Your mother is protective," Hades ground out, his jaw taught as he attempted to control his irritation toward the immature excuse for an immortal now sitting so close beside his once wife. "You were born in a garden of eternal spring on a bed of irises. An Eden, per say. Demeter, from the moment you were born, cradled you close to her side. In truth, she made a wall of her arms to protect you from the rest of us, to isolate you.
"Your father, Zeus, is champion over us all. You were born out of wedlock, out of an affair between Demeter and himself. His wife, Hera—"
"Another vengeful bitch," Morpheus snorted.
A puff of hot air slipped from Hades's clenched teeth. Morpheus held up his hands in retreat.
"Hera," Hades continued, "is, indeed, vengeful. And you, from the moment you were born, were the pinnacle of innocence and purity. Beyond simply a maiden, you were the embodiment of life. Against the harshest forces, you would stand no chance, and Demeter could no more protect you than she could change you. So she hid you away in your garden to be raised alongside the water nymphs."
"My father was already married?" Somehow, this failed to shock Bella. But… parents. What a concept to behold, a woman and a man who had created her, held her. She wondered whether it was anything like she had seen with Alice, the men who wandered in and out of their home like ants marching back and forth from their farm, taking bits of their souls away with them.
"Married and impulsive," Hades confirmed. "Too impulsive…" He hesitated.
His lips had thinned into a stiff line, his eyes seeking support in the quiet Hecate. Bella felt the tension thicken, the hair on her arms standing to attention. "What? What did he do?"
"Some gods have… interesting views on sex and desires. Zeus lives a life of lust and power; he takes what he desires. He believes everything below him is his by birthright, as king of the sky."
"Did he try to hurt my mother?" Bella stood, furious for a woman she had never known existed before this moment. Why am I so mad?
"He approached your mother while you were barely out of your adolescence," Hades said lowly. "Zeus… requested you would be sent to him."
"Why?" Bella stared at them. For the first time, none of the three would meet her gaze. Even Morpheus was silent, his gaze hard as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Hades spread out his hands, tracing the creases of his knuckles with his gaze before snapping them shut into two fists. He finally looked up at her, mouth open in a failed attempt at speech.
"Oh my god," Bella's hand covered her dry mouth, her teeth biting into her tongue as her jaw snapped shut. "No, my father? My father wanted me?! Like that?! No, you're not serious, shut up, no. Oh my god." She took two steps back, nearly slipping into the icy water. "This is fucking sick."
"Bella," Morpheus placed his hand on hers, but she shoved him away, tittering over to lean against one of the pillars. She pressed her face into the cool stone, shutting her eyes as nausea brewed in her gut, clawing up her throat.
"Bella your mother was never going to let him take you." Hades was close behind her, his breath practically in her ear. He did not touch her. She was going to puke.
One. Two. Three. Stone in my skin, skin like stone, oh god, let me sink into the earth. She begged the ground to open, swallow her, draw her deep beneath and let her lay in a tomb of ignorant bliss where she would never face an incestuous father and an isolating mother.
Bella had imagined her parents often, mostly as a younger child, when she still believed a parental presence could have solved all her problems. Parents who loved her and wanted her. Parents who were looking for her. A bedroom somewhere that belonged to her, sitting empty in a small town with farmland off a quiet back road where pancakes were made in the morning and conversations happened around tables in the evening. Where she and Alice could spend storms rocking in chairs on a porch with hot mugs of tea, rather than cowering under doorways and in alleyways.
She had never quite imagined faces, but she had been borderline obsessed with the hands of her parents. The soft, warm touch of a mother tucking a blanket around her sides and under her toes.
The worn hands of a father, careful with his daughters and as wrinkled as his smile.
Those hands would haunt her nightmares, now.
Bella choked.
"I'm sorry, sweet girl. We live in a cruel world, you know that more now than ever," Hades murmured. She could feel his heat on her back, but she refused to open her eyes.
"No one escapes death. When your mother realized there was no alternative, she called me—the only one capable of hiding anything away from your fa—from Zeus. I took you away into my kingdom and hid you away. She sent a guardian, a Sibyl from Delphi, to protect you. I never intended to fall in love with you, I believed you would bring trouble to my world and was nearly reluctant to bring you with me. But when we left your garden, when it was time to leave the only home you had ever known, you barely shed a tear while your mother practically howled with sorrow.
"I could see the pain in your eyes, the obvious fear in the tremor of your hands as you held your mother's cheeks, but you smiled."
Bella sobbed, bewildered by a deep, suddenly awakened pain that now blast through her chest. Snot dripped from her bright-red nose as she clutched the stone pillar, her mind stretching to expand around the loss of her life. She missed this woman, her mother. She remembered nothing of those events, but dear god did her arms ache to wrap around Demeter.
Her memory was gone, but the pain was still fresh.
Bella turned, hands clutched in the fabric of Hades's clothes as she gasped for breath, her face pressed tightly into his shoulder. His arms wrapped tightly around her, lifting her from the ground as he continued to mummer in her ear. She could feel his throat vibrate as he spoke, his own voice nearly breaking.
"Persephone, Bella, in strength you have survived. The world is unfair, has been especially unfair, but in this sorrow I promise, we will prevail."
"God, that sounds so cheesy," Bella laughed hollowly. Five seconds. She would allow herself five seconds of comfort in this man's arms, her kidnapper. Another life. She counted them down, breathing deeply and focusing on the warmth of his strength. For five seconds, he was only the man who had finally explained everything, someone to comfort her.
Five seconds later, Bella pulled her arms away from Hades and stepped back. "God, I got snot on you."
"Considering the circumstances, I promise not to fault you for it." Hades smiled.
"Was that a joke? Dear god, do you joke now?!" Morpheus cried in astonishment, barely ducking a blow from the infuriated lord.
"I'm okay," Bella promised. "That was just… I remember that, leaving her… It just sucks." Understatement of the century.
Hades watched her carefully, hope building a light behind his eyes.
"So, what happened? Did Demeter take me away?" Bella watched the three gods exchange looks and nearly laughed. "Wait, you don't know?"
"We suspect," Hecate confirmed. "But we hold no proof."
"You only… disappeared." Hades had looked away from Bella, his eyes glazed as he stared ahead, deep into the past. She wondered if he was picturing their last moments, maybe spent in this courtyard, or in some bed.
"Here one morning, gone the next. I searched endlessly, but you were hidden by something powerful. Demeter claimed ignorance, her passion to find you seemingly matched mine, but I was never certain it was earnest." Hades's chest heaved with a tired breath. He was insane, had kidnapped her and locked her up, but Bella at least understood what had pushed him so far off the ledge. She still hated him for it, but at least she saw the root of the madness.
"We honestly thought she had you locked up somewhere until he found you." Morpheus shook his head.
"I want to meet her." Bella rubbed her eyes, pulling the tears away with her thumbs as she sniffed. "I want to meet Demeter, but first I want to see Alice. Please."
"I'll begin preparing." Hecate more or less floated out of the courtyard, her feet barely leaving any ripples across the watery slate as she disappeared from sight. Morpheus wrapped an arm around Bella's shoulder and planted a wet kiss on her temple, tossing a wink at Hades as he left too quickly for either of them to react.
"Persephone," Hades began.
"Bella," she replied sharply.
"Bella." Could a god look awkward? Hades certainly did, his arms crossing and uncrossing before settling stiffly at his side. He looked entirely helpless and unsure. Bella almost felt powerful standing next to him, aged and confident compared to his childlike mannerisms. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly.
"Are you seriously asking me that?"
"Fair point." He ran a hand through his hair, catching a knot with his fingers and tugging on it absently. "I was genuine in my offer, you know. If you wish to return to your life with Alice or wish for any life absent from this, you are free to do so. You will not be held here, or forced to remain in my company should you not wish for it."
"I just, fuck." Bella rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands, sitting heavily back on the ground. Hades mimicked her, lowering slowly and wincing as the water seeped into his clothes. "I just want to be normal, but that's not going to happen, is it?"
He said nothing. She sighed.
"Hades, if this is going to work, if we're going to be, I don't know, okay with each other, you can't be my, what, keeper? You can't just follow me around like a ghost. I want to be equals, or something, if that's even possible since you're a god for christ's sake"—she took a breath, blowing it out her nose and staring hard at the man in front of her, his eyes pleading—"Listen, I need you to be honest with me, from here on out. You kidnapped me. You held me hostage, away from my sister. It's not like I'll just forget that and call it cool."
"It was a mistake I will forever regret." His voice was hollow with regret. Bella was nearly sympathetic. She might have even cried for him if he hadn't been such a crazy psycho for every day leading up to this.
"I promise, however, I will prove to you that I am not truly the man you first believed me to be. Believe me to be." He corrected quickly, acknowledging Bella's skeptical look.
"Yeah, big talk," Bella muttered.
"I spoke largely?" His brow furled.
Bella laughed, shaking her head. "Never mind, old man."
Hades scowled in obvious irritation and Bella laughed again, her cheeks red and her throat raw as she smiled. Hades hesitantly smiled back.
Bella was going to be free, and Hades was going with her. Things were uncertain, both of them balancing on a fractured beam threatening to collapse at any minute. Time moved on, however, and Bella had to resist imagining what could possibly be on the other side.
She had never thought too far ahead, only wanting stability for herself and Alice. A place for them both, a job without judgment, maybe even school or, god forbid, college. A way back onto their feet, together.
Looking at Hades, a smile on both their faces, she wondered: What kind of future stared back at her now?
Thanks for sticking with me. Thoughts and considerations welcomed. Next chapter we head up above ground and check in with the human world, and see where the heck Alice is at.
Still seeking a beta-if you have any interest or know where I could find one, that would also be very welcomed.
You're all amazing and deserve an equally unique, amazing day.
-O.K.