Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, save the OCs you will encounter in this particular story. It will not merely be a re-telling of the ME story as we know it, so expect changes and (hopefully) surprising and enjoyable twists! This story is rated M for a reason and will contain future scenes of violence, gore, sex, and various other mature situations. There will also be copious amounts of wonderful, wonderful angst. Please consider yourself warned.

A/N: I am so sorry for the crazy long delay in getting this chapter posted, dear readers! The demands of school were a major contributor to the delay, as most of my time was taken up by assignments. That and writer's block made making any real progress rather difficult. I do, however, have 16 pages of notes on content for future chapters; so I haven't really been idle! I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for hanging in there!

Any and all reviews are appreciated! A big thank you goes out to everyone who has added this story to their alerts and/or faves :) It all means so much to me! – Fallon.

Chapter Ten

"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes." – Oscar Wilde

Eira stared at him, fascinated by the bizarre and oddly pained expression on his face, "Is he always so quiet?"

Gabby laughed, "Oh, God, no!"

She leaned over to whisper in the engineer's ear, "It's kind of weird. Are you sure he's alright?"

Ken grumbled from his spot across the table from them, shooting Gabby a lethal glare as he stabbed his fork into what they all assumed to be a potato.

With Rupert it was best not to ask too many questions.

"Let me tell you something about Kenneth, Eira." Gabby began with a smirk, "The man hones in on anything with tits and an ass and goes in for the kill. When he heard another woman joined the crew, he got a little too excited for my liking. I told him if he was going to eat with us he had to be polite or be quiet." She winked at Eira, "The threat of violence may or may not have been used to ensure his cooperation."

Eira laughed, "Um, thank you, I suppose?"

"Not a problem," Gabby playfully elbowed her, "I consider it a public service really!"

"I've got to ask though, what was the threat?" Eira asked quietly, hesitant to hear what Gabby had come up with but unable to keep herself from smiling all the same.

Gabby shrugged, "Just mentioned how easy it would be for someone to mistake his Fornax collection for trash and space it."

"Fornax?" It was nothing Eira had ever heard of before and she caught a glimpse of Ken's gobsmacked expression as she turned to Gabby for an explanation.

"It's a…um, rather explicit adult magazine." Gabby said rather quickly, a little surprised by the question and never in a thousand years thinking she'd have to explain it to somebody. "The models are rather, um, exposed."

Ken slammed his fork down, unable to bite his tongue any longer, "Naked! They're naked, girl! Gloriously, beautifully naked! Asari, quarian, drell…" He gave a dopey smile and sighed, "God bless, 'em."

Eira blinked rapidly, startled by the enthusiasm in his voice.

"I'd be more than happy to show you my collection, girl." Ken offered with a wink, "January's model was particularly…limber. And the center-fold!" He sighed, "Just marvellous!"

"Ah ha!" Gabby exclaimed, jumping from her seat, "You lose, Donnelly! Out the air lock they go!"

A pained sound left the man as he leapt over the table and dashed to the elevator, desperate to beat Gabby and save his precious stash.

As the elevator doors hissed close Eira could hear the two of them bickering as they playfully exchanged punches.

Those two would be cute together, she thought to herself with a small smile.

Eira finished up her meal in silence by herself. The rest of the crew filed out of the mess hall a few at a time, none of them paying her any mind.

Just as she was finishing up, Eira felt a presence looming over her. She looked up and jumped slightly in her seat.

The Commander was quick to apologize.

"Sorry to startle you," he offered, taking a seat at her table, though making sure to keep a safe distance from her, "did you eat alone?"

She shook her head, "Gabby and Kenneth just left."

"You're making friends then?" He asked, hopeful that she was starting to truly settle in.

He knew that the majority of the crew still didn't know what to make of her but he was glad she wasn't been ostracized for it. It might go a ways in making her transition into the real world easier.

"I think so," she said with a small laugh, "don't have much practice in making friends, really. But they're good people."

"They are. Eira, I…" he hesitated, looking way from her quickly as if the direct sight of her pained him.

She noticed but said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

He gave a heavy sigh as the words left his lips, "I'd like you to come with Garrus and I on this next mission."

She hesitated only briefly.

"All right," she nodded, "where are we going?"

"Korlus, to recruit krogan warlord by the name of Okeer," he looked to her then, determined to make her understand the seriousness of the mission, "This isn't going to be like the Citadel. This is real. There is likely going to be mercs trying to kill us and I'm going to need you to be ready to cover my back."

She nodded quickly but seemed overwhelmed.

He didn't intend to scare her but he felt better about his decision knowing she seemed to grasp the seriousness of the task before them.

"You trust me with this?" She asked in a small voice, "I get it if you don't."

"I wouldn't ask you along if I didn't. Besides, I need to see how you do in the field," he forced a small smile in the hopes of easing some of her anxiety, "Better now than later."

"You okay, kid?" Garrus asked her as the shuttle entered the planet's atmosphere and they began readying their weapons.

Shepard had given them the official briefing and was now standing near the hatch, his focus fixed on the door and his mind evidently a million miles away. She wondered if he was always like this before a mission but knew it wasn't her place to ask. For all she knew it was her being on the mission that made him so tense. She couldn't blame him. He hardly had any reason to place faith in her and yet he was.

She was grateful for that, but not at the moment.

At the moment she felt like she was going to be sick.

Eira took a steadying breath and nodded as she pulled her gaze from the Commander. She knew her response was far from convincing, she didn't need to look at Garrus to know he didn't believe her.

"Well Shepard told me about the hit you gave him when you first met," he said warmly, hoping to encourage her, "If you turn that energy against our enemies I think you'll do alright."

"Remember to pace yourself with your biotics," Shepard interjected, seemingly drawn out of his reverie by the sound of their voices, though he still had his back to them, "Don't rely on them entirely or you'll burn out. Burn out in the field and you could get hurt. We can't afford to have a weak link."

Eira paled.

"We've got your back, kid," Garrus assured her quickly, shooting Shepard a confused look from the corner of his eye, "Just keep behind us, keep your barriers up and shoot the guys shooting at us."

Eira scrambled to get to cover and just managed to get behind the shipping container before the heavy mech fired a missile her way. It made contact with the wall in front of her and she winced as intense heat rippled back and over her. Thankfully her barriers were holding strong, and her hardsuit took little damage.

Over the chaos of gunfire and Jedore's insane ramblings, she heard Shepard's voice over her ear piece.

"There's a heavy coming your way, Eira!"

She tightened her grip on her hand gun and risked a glance around the container she was behind. As expected, Shepard was right. A massive heavy mech was zeroing in on her, raising its arms as it neared, its eye glowing red.

She knew her hand gun wasn't going to be enough to take the thing down. And for her shotgun to get the job done, she'd have to get close…too close for her liking.

Adrenaline rushed through her, bringing with it a panic that was hard to ignore.

Corinne's voice echoed in her mind and she delved deep inside herself, finding the shreds of courage her fear had not eaten away and holding tightly to them.

She caught movement to her left and saw Shepard tuck and roll into cover nearer her. He shouted to her as he reloaded.

She willed a surge of energy to encompass her, boosting her shields. She knew this would be pushing her limits, but felt confident it wouldn't break them. She had taken heavy mechs down before and there was nothing about this one that was any different than the others, she decided.

Eira holstered her hand gun and again tried to swallow her fears.

It's no different than a simulation…

She repeated it like a mantra, hoping to convince herself if only to prevent herself from being paralysed by fear.

You can do this…

She knew the weak spots on heavy mechs, knew how much focus to use to filter her biotics through the gaps in their armor near the joints. From there she could rip the mech apart from the inside out. How many had she taken down on Nafna doing just that?

She had this. Shepard wasn't going to regret placing his faith in her; she was not going to be the weak link.

She might even impress him.

That made her smile ever so slightly, despite the danger of the situation.

The mech's shadow fell over her.

I can do this…

As she rounded to face the mech, breaking cover, Shepard's shouts became more urgent, more panicked. She couldn't hear what he was saying; all of her focus was on her barriers and the mech looming over her.

The mech's gun pointed straight at her, she raised her hand and sent a flash of biotic energy outward, coursing through the mech's frame. The massive synthetic froze and its joints strained as the energy sank into it.

It wasn't enough though. She drew energy from her barriers and forced it into the mech, yet it continued to ready its weapon.

Shepard saw the blue glow of biotic energy fade around her and cursed under his breath. He knew what she was doing, knew how stupid it was. She was close enough to do damage with her shotgun if she had the mind to. With her biotics immobilizing the mech, she could bring the thing down with a few well-placed rounds.

But she wasn't reaching for the shotgun holstered on the small of her back.

The mech however was readying itself to fire a missile, its movements delayed because of the biotics but not halted.

Shepard ignored the gunfire that had him pinned down and made to move to her side.

He screamed her name but his voice was drowned out by the sounds of battle. He unloaded his thermal clip, peppering the hulking machine with rounds but doing little damage.

Eira didn't seem to notice his shots but she must have registered how dire the situation was, as she dropped her barriers completely, relying on her hardsuit to protect her.

She managed to shift the energy into a force push just as the mech fired its missile.

After that, there was only darkness.

The crippling migraine tearing through her skull woke her and she groaned, clutching her head and wincing as she rolled over.

"Woah, be careful there, kid."

She tried to open her eyes but the bright lights of the shuttle only drove the daggers deeper into her temples and she squeezed them close. She pawed at the ground, reaching out for the source of the voice.

"Garrus?"

She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm here, kid."

"What happened?"

He sighed.

"The blast you caused ripped the mech to pieces and knocked you out cold. Shepard got you to cover and we cleared out the rest of the hostiles. Shut Jedore up for good. Okeer died, but we got our hands on one of his experiments that might prove to be useful. Our guys are planet side now prepping it for pick up."

Flashes of the moments before the blast came back to her. She remembered hearing the Commander's voice, remembered seeing him trying to get to her as she faced down the mech. She pressed her forehead to the cold metal of the shuttle's floor and groaned.

She'd wanted to impress him so badly, to show him that she was worth the risk, but what had she done? Gone in cocky, thinking that taking down a mech on the battle field was like the simulations on Nafna.

"Prepping it?"

"Commander wanted to get back to the Normandy ASAP, what with you out like a light. We're nearly there now. After we get you sorted we'll swoop in for pick up."

Eira tried to open her eyes again and vaguely made out Garrus's silhouette but little more. Her body protested, but she moved her head to scan the room, the small motion enough to send her head spinning.

She pressed her hands over her eyes.

"Is he…"

"He's here." Garrus said heavily, "And not in the chatty mood, kid."

With his help she sat up and the pounding in her head eased enough for her to see in front of her. Shepard was standing with his back to them, leaning against the hatch as he looked out the window at the stars. His weapons were strewn about the floor and his helmet was resting on his seat. Her vision focused some and she saw his hands clenched tightly at his sides.

He was livid. She didn't need to see his face to know that.

Eira tried to stand, wanting to go to him and plead her case, wanting to beg for another chance, but she stumbled.

Garrus caught her.

"Slow down, kid. We'll need Chakwas to look at you; you hit your head hard. You might have a concussion."

She let him help her sit back down.

"I'm so sorry," she muttered under her breath, afraid her voice would only anger him further but unable to remain silent, "I messed up…"

Garrus squeezed her shoulder, hoping to offer some degree of reassurance.

He didn't doubt that she had been foolish; he'd seen what went down. But he understood her desire to prove herself. And during the entire fight against Jedore's guards, when the shots were flying, he hadn't seen her cower or falter in fear; though he was certain she had felt it.

He looked to Shepard but the commander hadn't even flinched.

"You gave me a chance and I…I…"

"You fucked up." Shepard finished for her, his voice a low growl that spoke of a deeper, festering anger barely restrained.

Eira bit her lip and tried to will the tears welling in her eyes away. Looking at him now, she had no idea how she was going to salvage the situation. If he sent her away after this, she couldn't blame him and yet the very thought caused the tears to resurface and threaten to spill. There was nowhere else for her to go; she had to make this work.

She nervously spoke up.

"Commander –

Shepard pushed off from the wall and moved to the console, not once looking in her direction.

"Garrus when we get back to the Normandy I want you to take her to see Chakwas, just to be sure. Then meet me in the comm room. We've got to decide what to do with Okeer's experiment."

Garrus stood, "Of course, Commander. You have an idea?"

"I do, but I'd like to hear what Jacob and Miranda have to say before I commit to anything."

"I have an idea what Miranda's going to suggest," Garrus said with a small laugh, hoping to lighten the tense mood in the shuttle.

"As do I," he conceded, "but I'll hear what they have to say."

Garrus nodded toward Eira, his question left unspoken.

Shepard sighed. He wanted to scream at her, wanted to berate her for being so stupid and nearly getting herself killed. She had gone against everything he'd said prior to landing on Korlus and he felt like a fool for being so weak as to bring her along.

He had to be weak, how else could he explain bringing an unknown into a combat scenario? For expecting her to have his back when she was nothing but a little girl lost?

She relied entirely on her biotics and had jeopardized their mission, not to mention her life.

His scream caught in his throat and he risked a small glance at Eira, unkind words eager to leap from his lips.

But then he looked at her, actually looked at her.

He'd never seen anyone so crestfallen, so desperate for forgiveness.

She knew.

He gave an exhausted sigh.

The boiling rage he was feeling settled some as he realized she was fully aware of how badly she'd messed up. He'd speak to her later, when he was thinking clearly and didn't feel like he was about to collapse.

"Later," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand, "Let's just get back to the Normandy for now. We have a big ass paper weight to deal with."