Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, save the OCs you will encounter in this particular story. It will not merely be a re-telling of the ME story as we know it, so expect changes and (hopefully) surprising and enjoyable twists! This story is rated M for a reason and will contain future scenes of violence, gore, sex, and various other mature situations. There will also be copious amounts of wonderful, wonderful angst. Please consider yourself warned.

A/N: We're approaching Horizon, which means the shit is going to hit the fan. Enjoy some Shepard X Eira feels in the meantime, dear readers!

Any and all reviews are appreciated! A big thank you goes out to everyone who has added this story to their alerts and/or faves :) It all means so much to me! – Fallon.

Chapter Thirteen

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." - Confucius

Eira felt like a fool.

Kneeling in the middle of the corridor on the engineering deck, she tried to stand and make it to the loft, but her balance was off. She tried to calm herself but what Jack had said kept replaying in her mind.

She had seen the scars under Jack's tattoos, she knew something awful had happened to her, but she couldn't believe Cerberus was responsible for them. The very idea was impossible for her to comprehend.

Again she tried to stand and this time strong arms underneath her own helped her to her feet.

"Eira, are you all right?" Shepard asked as he took a step back, keeping a cautious eye on her in case she lost her balance once again.

She nodded, though she wasn't entirely sure she was fine. Jack's lies kept replaying in her mind, prodding at the foundation of everything she knew. The intense desire to scream and lash out remained, though the pounding in her head at least was lessening.

Shepard put his hand on her shoulder and guided her to the lift, stepping on with her and pressing the button to bring them to the mess hall.

He looked to her from the corner of his eye as they stood side by side in silence. She looked sullen and he could tell whatever Jack had said was still weighing on her.

"Whatever she said," he began gently, not wanting to upset her further, "Don't let it get to you."

Eira let out a shaky breath, "She said I was just an experiment. She said Cerberus used me and I don't have a family because Cerberus killed them." She looked at him with tear-filled eyes, "I don't know how to brush that off."

Shepard sighed. He was inclined to believe much of what Jack had told Eira. He knew how Cerberus operated. That they used her wasn't in doubt, not to him, but this hadn't been the way he'd wanted Eira to learn the truth.

She might not have the scars Jack did, but Eira was just as much a victim of Cerberus's ruthless tactics as the convict was. And callously confronting her with the truth wasn't what she deserved. What Jack had done had been done for her own amusement, not from a desire to have Eira know the truth.

"You're not on Nafna anymore, Eira," he said softly, "You're going to learn things about Cerberus that are going to be hard to believe and unfortunately they are going to be mostly true. Just know that you are safe on this ship and you are not just an 'experiment' to be tossed aside when its use has run its course."

All she could do was nod. There was a profound tenderness in his voice that startled her and made it difficult for her to not believe him. Cerberus couldn't be as bad as Jack had claimed but the Commander was right, now that she was off Nafna Station her world was much bigger than she ever dreamt it could be. And that world wasn't as safe as Nafna had been. She was going to face things more upsetting than the ramblings of a psychotic, tattooed biotic.

The lift slowed to a stop and the doors opened up to the mess hall.

"Go grab something to eat and get cleaned up," Shepard said as he punched in a new command at the lift's control panel, "We'll be at the Citadel in a couple of hours. I want you ready to go at the airlock when we dock." He gave a very small smirk, "We've got a thief to recruit and a shooting range to visit."

Eira gave a small cringe, having forgotten that he planned to take her to a shooting range to get her more comfortable with her firearms. She knew she couldn't ask for a better instructor and the chance to spend time with him was appealing (and terrifying), but she feared disappointing him yet again.

She stepped off the lift, "Of course, Commander. And thank you…for your help with Jack."

He nodded, "If she gives you anymore trouble, be sure to let me know right away."

"I will, thank you."

Shepard smiled.

Eira bit her lip and looked away.

Stop thanking him, Eira scolded herself inwardly, He's going to think you're even more pathetic than he does already!

She could feel her cheeks flushing and wished she could disappear, or at the very least flee Shepard's bizarre gaze.

"I'll…see you later then," Eira stammered as she hurried away from the lift.

She wished she didn't feel like such a fumbling child when she was with him. People like Miranda had a natural grace she just couldn't grasp. She wished, at least when she was with Shepard, she had just a fraction of what Miranda had.

Maybe then she could stop embarrassing herself and letting him down.

She took one last look back at the lift over her shoulder and saw Shepard rubbing the back of his neck, gaze cast downward and that brilliant smirk lingering on his lips as the lift door slid closed.

Something fluttered in Eira's chest at the sight.

Maybe making a fool of herself wasn't such a bad thing, not if it gave her the chance to see him smile more.

Afterlife, Omega, Sahrabarik System

There was something strangely cathartic about stepping off the shuttle and onto the streets of Omega. The pressures and dangers his position held mattered little. On Omega he was nobody, and there was power in that. Anonymity brought freedom. He would be overlooked, ignored here and it was then he could really set to work.

Of course Omega held its own dangers, it was not place for the foolish and the naïve, but Marin found its dangers simple compared to the real dangers he faced pursuing his target. A would be pickpocket might pull a pistol on him or a bartender holding a grudge might poison his drink but those were nothing compared to what Cerberus might do to him if they caught him.

Marin made his way out of the docking bay and into the bustle of Omega's streets. Standing before Afterlife, he wasn't surprised to see it had grown since he'd last seen it. Aria's power had grown; it made sense her fortress would reflect that.

He bypassed the line of bickering patrons and approached the batarian bouncer.

He recognized the alien from time he spent doing Aria's dirty work and a small nod was all it took to gain entrance. The patrons waiting in line behind him hurled insults at him.

The pulses of the music hit him as the doors to Afterlife hissed open. He bypassed the bar and dancefloor and made for the stairs leading to a balcony overlooking the main floor. He knew Aria, like any queen she liked to look down on her subjects, watching them with smug satisfaction as they danced to her song. She'd be on that balcony, basking in all her success.

Anto stopped him as he approached, scanning him with his omnitool before letting him pass with a warning glare and a shove.

He'd never liked the batarian and had never understood why Aria kept him around, let alone relied on him as her second-in-command. The man was repulsive, even for a batarian.

Ascending the final flight of stairs, Marin came to stand before the Queen herself.

Lounging on a large couch, a glass of Noverian rum in her hand, and a seductive grin on her lips, was Aria T'Loak.

Despite having worked for her and been invited into her bed on numerous occasions, he knew better than to assume he 'knew' her. Aria didn't seize power by being so weak as to let people truly close to her. She was like a viper, deadly but so beautiful she was enthralling. You couldn't help but marvel to be in her company, despite knowing she might very well slip her knife between your ribs. Still, he couldn't deny that he was pleased his task with Julian had brought him to her doorstep.

"Look what the varren dragged in," she said with feigned awe, "I didn't think you'd grace me with your presence anytime soon, Nikolai."

He sat down a respectful distance from her.

"What can I say, you are a hard woman to stay away from, Aria."

Apparently unwilling to play their usual game, Aria merely looked at him as she took a sip of her rum. She was waiting for him to get to the point and he knew better than to tarry.

"A good friend of mine is looking for some information. I'd hoped you'd be good enough to help."

"You want dirt on someone, go to the Shadow Broker."

"I don't trust the Broker, I trust you…to an extent."

She smiled, "Wise."

"Aren't you the least bit curious what I came all the way from Earth to ask you?" He said as he leaned forward, knowing the playful jab would at least prompt her to hear him out.

"Aww, such a long trip just to speak to little old me."

"Some people are worth enduring hours on a cramped, cockroach infested piece of scrap metal, my dear."

Aria laughed, "You always had a way with words," she regarded him carefully and he noted her body language not as abrasive as when he first arrived, "Tell me what you need, Nikolai."

"Have you seen Commander Shepard?"

She quirked her brow, curious at his inquiry, "You're calling in favors to ask about Shepard? It has to be common knowledge by now that he is alive."

"It is. I'm more interested in a member of his crew, a young biotic."

Aria nodded, "I saw the Commander a few weeks ago. He was on Omega looking for a turian sniper and a salarian doctor. The only biotics with him were two Cerberus lackeys, neither worth searching an entire galaxy for."

"This biotic he's recruited…she's unique, a Cerberus project from the Pylos Nebula."

Aria gave him a knowing look, "Treading on dangerous territory, Nikolai," she smiled, "It's good to know some things never change."

"You've heard of her then?"

Aria gave a small shrug, "Heard of her? Yes. Seen her? No. I'd heard rumors Shepard was in the Pylos Nebula. What interest does your 'friend' have in her?"

"It's complicated…and personal."

He knew not giving her a straight answer risked angering her, which was dangerous on Omega, but he couldn't reveal more than Julian was ready to. Cerberus had to suspect he had something to do with the Nafna incident and the last thing Marin needed was more Cerberus spies on his or Julian's tail. Things were delicate enough as it was.

Eira might not be imprisoned on Nafna but she was still in Cerberus's hands. A misstep could be fatal.

"I need your help, Aria. I need you to press your contacts, let me know what you hear of the Normandy's movements and any sightings of the biotic known as 'Eira'."

She hesitated, sizing him up with an intense gaze he knew all too well.

Finally she spoke.

"I can do that."

Marin smiled, "And as a gesture of goodwill, I'll forward any dirt on Cerberus I find in my travels."

"Of course you will, Nikolai," she smirked, "You know better than to hold out on the good stuff with me."

The Citadel

Kasumi watched from a safe distance as Commander Shepard approached the screen she had hacked. He certainly looked like the Commander, but years of finely tuned self-preserving instincts were hard to ignore.

Trailing behind him was a man who, despite not wearing a Cerberus uniform, was most definitely an agent of the Illusive Man. And judging by the way he scanned their surroundings for possible threats, she put money on him being ex-Alliance.

She smirked.

Whoever he was, he was damn easy on the eyes.

But as distracting as the Cerberus agent was, Kasumi couldn't ignore the young woman who kept closer to the Commander's side. Beyond her albinism, the girl's body language told her she was out of place in the hustle and bustle of the Citadel. And that alone could have explained why she kept so close to Shepard – he was a marine after all. But Kasumi suspected the girl was compelled to stay close to him for other reasons.

She kept her conversation with the Commander short. It didn't take long for her to confirm he was the real deal and it didn't seem fair to make him talk to an advertisement for longer than needed.

She made for the Normandy, turning her cloaking device back on after allowing the Commander and his team a quick glimpse of her.

She was eager to get started on the mission. The creds Cerberus had offered only sweetened the pot, what she really wanted was to even the score with Hock.

Kasumi made a mental note to introduce herself properly to the pale young girl…and the Cerberus agent.

Shepard dismissed Jacob and the Cerberus agent made his way back to the Normandy, reluctant to leave and have only Eira there to have the Commander's back but trusting in his ability to defend himself if Eira faltered.

Eira walked beside Shepard in silence. They hailed a cab and headed for a level of the Citadel that looked nothing like the Ward levels she had arrived at.

"Are we headed to the Presidium?" She asked, tearing her gaze away from the amazing view out her window to look at the Commander.

To her surprise he already seemed to be looking at her, though he looked away quickly when she turned his way.

He nodded as he looked out the window on his side, hoping his feigned interest in the view was convincing.

"There's a range restricted to Spectres on the Presidium level."

"And…I'm going to be allowed there?"

Shepard risked a quick glance at her, "The Council reinstated my Spectre status. I have access and I've cleared you with Anderson under the condition I keep a close eye on you while we're there."

To say she was surprised would be an understatement.

"I…I don't see how I'm worth going through all this trouble."

Shepard wasn't sure what to say. The truth – that he was desperate for a distraction from the chaos aboard the Normandy, a chance to reclaim a fragment of sanity, and strangely eager to spend time with her wasn't something he was capable of speaking.

"Korlus was a close call," he said instead, opting for what he hoped came off as a rational explanation, "I don't want another slip up to cost you your life. And like I said, you have far too much potential to toss aside."

She nodded in understanding and remained silent until the cab dropped them off at their destination.

Eira followed Shepard closely as they made their way through the crowd. Everyone she passed reeked of wealth and influence, something she suspected would be very out-of-place in the Wards.

It made her feel uncomfortable.

Thankfully they didn't have far to go to reach the range. Shepard turned down a corridor that wasn't nearly as crowded and headed up a flight of stairs. At the top, they stopped at the first door they came to and Shepard opened the locked door's interface, imputing something Eira could not see.

"You'll need to stay close to me until we enter the main room," he said without looking up, "Otherwise the security system will be activated."

Eira swallowed hard and nodded.

The door hissed open and she followed him through. She kept close to him, desperate not to do something as mortifying as triggering the security system. As they made their way down the corridor, passing numerous scanners and sensors along the way, Eira couldn't help but appreciate the view.

Shepard had traded his Cerberus issued uniform and N7 armor for a fitted black leather jacket and dark jeans that hugged him perfectly. His years of training with the Alliance showed in the curve of every muscle. Sadly, Eira remembered Cerberus had rebuilt him. While she had no doubt he looked exactly as he did prior to the destruction of the SR-1, she wondered if it bothered him.

She wondered if he knew how beautiful he was.

They entered the main room at the end of the corridor and Shepard told her she was able to move about the room freely. It was far larger then she expected it to be, with long alleyways for shooting, walls of firearms, and numerous panels of what she assumed were safety glass.

She turned to Shepard and saw he had removed his jacket and pistol and was scanning the wall of guns with something akin to excitement.

"Which is your favorite?" She asked as she approached him to try to see what had caught his eye.

Shepard's focus snapped to her and he regarded her with confusion.

She gestured to the wall, "It's just the way you're looking at them. You must have a favorite."

He smiled and reached for a shotgun on one of the higher racks.

"The M-27 Scimitar," he said with a grin, "It's deadly at short range and has a high rate of fire, unlike other shotguns. It's popular with the Eclipse – a merc group – but the Spectres got their hands on the schematics."

The training Cerberus had given her on Nafna hadn't given her what Shepard clearly had – an appreciation and respect for the weapons he was trained in. She gave it a closer look. It was an impressive weapon, that much she could tell, but just looking at Shepard she could tell he saw more; that he knew every advantage and disadvantage the weapon held.

"Too advanced for me, I'd take it?"

He gave a light chuckle, "Right now, yes," he put the shotgun back and reached for a pistol, "We'll start with the M-5 Phalanx. It's an Alliance piece, a heavy pistol. It's got a hell of a recoil on it, but I think you'll be able to handle it."

He loaded the pistol with blanks and fetched two heavy looking vests from a nearby cabinet. Setting down the pistol, Shepard quickly slipped on his own before moving to help Eira with her vest.

"Just to be safe," he explained as he stepped closer to her, raising the vest up and over her head.

Her breath caught in her throat, Eira stood tense as Shepard fastened the buckles on the sides and waist of the vest. Shepard was so close she could feel the warmth radiating off of him and his breath tickling her neck with every exhale. When he went to fasten the belt around her waist, he wrapped his arms around her to thread the belt through. It was an innocent enough act, he was helping her after all, but it made her shiver nonetheless.

Shepard tightened the straps with a quick tug and stood back to make sure everything was in place.

He nodded and handed Eira the Phalanx.

"Your problem isn't that you don't know how to handle your pistol but that you rely too heavily on it. Your pistol needs to be an extension of yourself, just as your biotics are," he gestured to the gun in her hands, "How does it feel?"

She tightened her grip on the gun and moved to the long lane of the range, raising it to get a feel for its weight and balance.

"It's heavier than I'm used to," she admitted with a frown.

He stood behind her and looked down her extended arm. He reached around her and gently eased her arm up some, hand lingering on her forearm.

Despite the vests the feel of his chest against her back was impossible to ignore. He was warm and strong, and having him so incredibly close made her feel small and yet safe at the same time.

Eira let out a shaky breath.

"You'll get used to it," he assured her, lowering his hand but not moving from his place behind her, "fire off a round."

While the feeling of his breath on her neck was distracting, she did as he said and fired off a round at the target.

The recoil jostled her despite his earlier warning and she bounced backward, bumping into his chest with a small gasp of surprise.

Shepard gripped her waist to steady her.

"I told you." He said in a voice surprisingly low and laced with amusement.

He was teasing her.

Eira huffed, "Do you tease all of your students?"

She felt him shrug.

"You're the only one I've trained since I finished the N7 program."

"Really?" She asked with a quick look back at him over her shoulder, "Why?"

It hadn't escaped her notice that his hands remained on her waist, and she stammered without meaning to, his touch so warm it was startling.

He hesitated.

"I never liked training people."

Eira lowered the pistol as her smile, and the unexpected light mood between them, faded.

"Oh…"

Shepard shifted on his feet and withdrew his hands, taking a small step back from her.

"I…I didn't mean it like that," Shepard said quickly, averting his gaze from her when he saw how upset she was.

"I don't mean to be a burden," Eira said in a whisper, "I want to help."

"And you will, Eira," he assured her, "You already are."

He could tell she wasn't convinced.

She couldn't look at him and was seemingly lost in thought, nibbling nervously on the inside of her lip.

Shepard hated when she did that, it made it nearly impossible to look away from her.

He sighed, running his hand over the stubble on his chin as he inwardly scolded himself.

"Eira, no one has ever offered to help me against the Geth or the Reapers without asking something of me. Their help always came with conditions. Yours' didn't."

Her gaze tentatively rose to meet his.

"I'm here because I want to be." He said in a whisper, his voice full of conviction despite the softness of it.

"But…it's training," she said sadly, "I messed up on Korlus and now you're doing something you hate to help me. You should have capable people on your team, not someone like me…"

It angered him that she thought so little of herself, but he thought back to where she came from and it made sense. Her worth to Cerberus on Nafna was limited to what data they could gather from her in experiments. He suspected that, while she might not realize that, she must feel small in the world she was still so new to. Shepard's anger shifted to where it belonged – Cerberus.

As strong as they had made her, it was clear she had weaknesses Cerberus likely only reinforced.

"You're more capable then you realize, Eira," he reached for the pistol in her hands and a shiver rippled down his spine when his fingers grazed hers' and she didn't pull away, "And I want to be here."

Her big red-tinted eyes looked up at him questioningly.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded, "I promise."

The conviction in his voice startled him and he tensed as discomfort settled over him.

He wasn't sure where inside him that certainty came from.

Eira smiled, "I…thank you, Commander."

He handed the pistol back to her, a smirk on his lips despite his best efforts to smother it, "Let's get back to it. We've got a lot to go over today."