Chapter 5

A few days later, Nico had grown bored of wallowing in his misery in his dark room, and finally resolved to try social interaction again. He truged up the stairs, contemplating his future with the rest of the demigods. They obviously had a horrid and fractured relationship with him, and quite honestly, Nico wasn't sure that he wanted to continue to stay on the ship. He could easily shadow travel away and disregard the fate of the world. He could reside with his father in the Underworld, and leave the planet to the fate that Gaea would subject it to.

And yet, he was a bit reluctant to allow the human race to become extinct, when he could help, or at least try to help, prevent it. And if he happened to die along the way, well, that wouldn't be awful. No one would miss him, and he certainly wouldn't miss his life without Percy.

Nico wandered to the deck, not making a noise, hoping to remain unnoticed. He allowed himself to blend into the shadows, hardly even there. The colorless ocean was quite daunting, and he realized how many colors he had taken for granted that were now gone. With a sigh, he turned, thinking that he might leave the ship. The others had said something about New Rome, and it wasn't every day one got to see an ancient Roman city.

Nico was so caught in his thoughts, that he walked right into Jason, his golden hair now appearing white. Nico hadn't noticed it before, but seeing a young person with completely white hair was shocking to him, and felt like a punch to the gut.

"Oh, hey Nico." Jason spoke, "Haven't seen you in a while." Nico wasn't quite sure if his tone was accusing or questioning, so he chose to brush it off as a rhetorical statement. "We have a ghost to find here in New Rome. I need your help."

Nico reluctantly agreed, but was slightly grateful that he could do something useful. Ghosts were more interesting than live people, anyway.

Once in New Rome, they discovered an angel. Nico could tell by the feeling that its soul radiated that the creature was not a returned soul from the underworld. Nico sprinted after Jason once it fled, not wanting to lose the trail of the angel.

Nico nearly lost it when Jason picked him up. Not only was he not used to physical touch, but the loneliness that he had been feeling since losing his soulmate left him vulnerable and off of his guard. The feeling of warm skin touching him, when he was a child of the underworld, used to dwelling with ghosts, was incredibly discomforting. He would never admit it, but in his shock Nico let out a startled scream that probably had Jason wondering what was wrong with him. Nico wished he knew.

When they finally landed, Nico nearly let out a gasp when he realized where they were. Diocletian's residence. He recalled this place from when he was a kid, with Bianca. He growled a threat at Jason, before returning to stare in wonder at the atrium. It didn't look any different than before, as he hadn't been able to see colors as a child, but he still felt the part of him that was missing, when he couldn't see such a beautiful place in all its colorful glory.

And then, of course, Jason had to make small talk about his past. About Bianca. Nico wanted no part of that conversation, and his emotional turmoil over Percy was already wearing him thin. He gave a few short, disgruntled answers to satisfy Jason, before turning his eyes to the various pissed off ghosts that were watching them. His voice had tensed when Percy was mentioned, but he managed to hold it together. He couldn't show weakness in front of others, he had to act like Percy's death didn't affect him. At all.

Nico pointed out some of the various ruins of Greek statues and temples to Jason, but when he found that they were to be led underground, began to panic. Ever since he had been to Tartarus, ever since Percy fell, he had been terrified of the underground. He felt that it was going to trap him in, that he would be buried under tons of dirt, that he would become trapped, too far to call for help, and suffocate under the dirt. Fear gripped him, and he thought for a moment that a knife had been plunged into his stomach. He had a very bad feeling about the entire situation, but still he carried on, instead of running to the shadows like his mind begged him to. He tried to smile at Jason, to make it seem like he enjoyed the earth, like he used to, but it came out as more of a twisted grimace.

The voice of the angel didn't startle Nico, as he had already been on the lookout for enemies that he knew were to appear. He did, however, take a step back in fear once he found that he was facing the god Favonius. His master, Cupid, terrified Nico. He explained who Favonius worked for to Jason with a shaky breath, but when the god mentioned that he had been watching Nico, he felt sick to his stomach. No, that couldn't be. He was going to expose Nico's secret.

When the god stated that the one he cared for the most had fallen to Tartarus, Nico thought his knees were going to collapse out from under him. His hands were shaking, and breathing became a bit of a struggle to continue. He wanted to escape through the bars of the windows. Even his dreary, colorless world was millions of times better than being forced to confess to Jason that he loved a man, and Percy at that. Gods, the loss of the colors in his life was bad enough, couldn't the Fates allow him to go five minutes without some sort of horrid emotional turmoil? It seemed not.

He told Favonius to just take them to the love god. The faster he could get over with it, the better. He was starting to wish he had just shadow travelled away when he had the chance, but at this point, he was too frazzled to attempt it.

By the time they reached Cupid's residence, Nico was terrified out of his mind. His entire body was shaking with fear, and his powers began to lash out, as though trying to provide him with the oxygen he suddenly found out of his reach. When Favonius mentioned that Cupid would make his fate worse than eternal servitude if he didn't tell Jason about his soulmate, he nearly blacked out from the lack of air in his lungs.

As Cupid began to attack them, Nico ran for his life, still too out of it to actually defend himself, and escaped by dodging the murderous arrows, swinging his sword with trembling arms. Nico nearly screamed in pain when Cupid's arrow hit his shoulder, and colors flashed in front of his eyes. He let out a quiet sob as the arrow faded, and everything became black and white once more.

He eventually screamed at the god to stop, after watching Jason's body become bloodied and bruised. Even if he didn't like the guy, he didn't want to see him killed. When Cupid called him a coward, Nico accidentally spawned an army of the dead in his pain. He already knew that he was a coward, that he was broken and disgusting, but he would rather be physically stabbed than have someone else point out that fact.

Nico was so scared, he was so ashamed that his soulmate was a man, that he loved a man, who was now dead because Nico couldn't move fast enough. He was a disgusting freak; no one cared about him. He was better off away from the camps, better off facing monsters alone, always on the run. It was what he deserved for loving a man.

The moment that he told Jason of his love for Percy, he felt hot, wet tears flood his eyes and trail down his face. He collapsed to his knees, letting his skeletons fall to the earth. He curled himself into a ball, not looking at Cupid or that stupid scepter. Sobs racked his body, and he tried to stifle them on his jeans, but the flow of water seemed endless.

"Nico, it's okay." spoke Jason, cautiously.

"N-no it isn't!" Nico screamed, his voice raw. "Percy isn't just some crush. He's my s-soulm-mate. And now he's dead because I was too slow to catch him!"

Nico hadn't meant to tell Jason everything like that, but he couldn't hold it in anymore. He thought that his emotions might physically shatter him if he tried to block them out for much longer.

Jason didn't say anything for a while, and Nico was afraid that he had run off and left Nico in Rome. He didn't look up to see if Jason was there, instead choosing to embrace the comforting darkness that his eyelids provided, trying to ignore the shame fuelled tears that burned his skin.

"Nico," Jason spoke softly, putting a light touch on his shoulder, "it's okay. Soulmates are meant for each other, and there is nothing wrong with having one, even if they are the same gender as you."

"N-no, it's not okay. It's disgusting, to be matched with another man. And even if it was okay, he is still soulmates with Annabeth. Not that that matters! He died a few days ago! I felt it! Annabeth too! It's all my fault that he died, i could have made it in time to save them. I'm better off dead too!" Nico looked up, finally glancing at Jason, but his vision was too obscured by tears to see Jason's reaction. Nico could feel himself falling apart, shattering himself with each word he spoke.

"There is nothing disgusting about being matched to another person. Soulmates are created by Aphrodite based on people's compatibility, not on their gender. And yeah, sometimes people have two soulmates, according to myth." He paused and sighed, still processing what Nico said. "I-I'm really sorry. About all of this. It'll all be okay."

Jason grabbed Nico's hand and pulled him up. "Do you want to fly back, or are you okay enough to shadow travel?"

"Shadow travel." Nico whispered, running his hands through his hair.

A/N

Wow, that was a long chapter for this story. I really want to focus on the relationship between Nico and the rest of the seven after this, and the relationship between Jason and Nico, so this was a pretty important piece for developing that. I need to fix the things that Rick fucked up with because I swear he just totally forgot about character development during the last two books. I am also going to put a lot of emphasis on the percico relationship once Percy escapes Tartarus. I'm not quite sure where I am going to fit Annabeth into this, but I will think of something to make it seem logical. I might, might continue this into BOO to fix like everything, and also wait I just thought of what to do with this plot!

Thank you guys for all the support that this story is getting, honestly it makes my day everytime I get a follower/favorite email from this site!