Flashback – 18 months since Stephanie left Trenton

It hurt.

Being taken apart and remade.

It hurt like a bitch.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Or makes you wish you were dead. It really depends on your outlook in life.

It didn't matter what training I'd had. It didn't matter how optimistic or determined I was. Nothing had prepared me. He didn't care. He just pulled and pulled until something gave.

Luis has asked for a favour. My entire lifestyle at this point was doing favours for Luis. Sometimes I toyed with the idea of going home. Not home home. But at least somewhere where I didn't need a gun to leave the house, let alone my bed. Now that I think about it, I didn't know many people who left home without some kind of weapon in Trenton.

Luis gave me a packet, he gave me directions. I took it, took his bike and followed my orders like a good little soldier. He'd told me where I was going was a friendly. No need to be on guard.

Still, habit made me slow down as I approached large metal gates. I was out in the hills. Not like some of the plush gated communities. This was isolated, but it didn't worry me. I was just musing to myself about how I couldn't even see the house from the gates when I felt something hit me at speed.

I slammed the brakes on out of reflex, grinding my teeth at the sudden spike of pain in my shoulder, swinging my head wildly to find whoever shot me. But my vision was starting to swim, not with pain, I reached for my shoulder grasping to find the entry point as I felt my muscles turn to lead. Sure enough it was a small but highly effective dart.

And then everything began to turn to black as I fell.

"You should always be aware of your surroundings"

Well Ranger, I guess you were right. But it wouldn't have saved me.

Of course, within a few months Alejandro had exposed me to every drug he'd ever used in his empire and then some. Toxins, some of the less deadly poisons. Each to varied effect.

Sometimes he'd sit there motionless, a blurred figure on a throne like chair as I convulsed, clawing at the ground in the hope I'd find something to grip onto, something solid. It didn't matter how much I'd scream, or cry, or beg, he'd just sit there and wait for me to come out the other side.

Sometimes it took weeks.

When I first woke up, I was more resigned than anything else.

I had a splitting headache, but as sensation came filtering back in I could feel that I wasn't tied up or restrained. Something told me I wasn't alone though. The room was silent as far as I could hear through ears that felt stuffed with cotton. I swiped my tongue over my lips slowly, soothing the cracks. My mouth was dry as the desert. I'd been out for at least the night then.

I opened my eyes slowly, prepared for the blinding light. After the initial glare it settled into sunlight, dust dancing through its beams as it poured in through large windows. The walls were red, dark and muted with wood panelling at the bottom. I blinked a few times to clear the cobwebs and decided to try moving a bit. I rolled my wrists and ankles, hearing the sound of gun cocking. I froze for a moment, but then continued after nothing followed. What did I have to lose? You don't kidnap someone and then wait for them to wake up if you just want to kill them. I didn't really have enemies here. Not like that. Not then.

I saved my neck for last, realizing it was fairly well supported by what seemed to be a high backed chair, soft under my fingertips. I was still dressed in what I'd been when I rode Luis's bike up the hill. Dark, slim leg cargo pants and a white tank with a khaki shirt unbuttoned over the top. I wriggled my hips a little to ease the numbness in my thighs, and decided to try my luck at moving into a more civilised position.

As I adjusted, I took stock of my surroundings.

Ah.

As it was, there were at least five guns pointed in my direction. There were an additional ten men posted around the room like sentries. Every single one had their eyes on me.

There was somebody else as well. Directly opposite me was a huge inglenook fireplace, a fire was lit but whatever it was burning wasn't wood. Clothes maybe. It wasn't for warmth.

The man stood before it was taller than me. At last six foot tall. His posture was relaxed, but his shoulders were tense, defined in a crisp white shirt. He wore navy dress pants that must have been tailored just for him. A pair of smart black dress shoes polished within an inch of their life topped it off. The shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, showing caramel skin. On his right wrist was an expensive looking watch. Silver. A crystal tumbler was in his hand, nearly empty. He'd braced himself against the fireplace with his left arm to watch whatever it was burn.

Despite myself, I couldn't help but notice it put his nicely muscled back on display. His hair was dark, but some of the strands shone chocolate in the sunlight. It was a little longer than most men wore, but not as long as Morelli's had sometimes been.

The others in the room were all stationed around him as if he were the sun. In his orbit, but at a safe distance. I took a chance to look each of the sentries over. They didn't have much in common. Some were dressed for the beach, others as if they were strolling through New York. One had a New York Yankees shirt. Most of the ones that had guns on me were dressed as if they were at a business meeting. Black shirts, black ties, black dress pants.

They looked good. If you were preforming 'Hitman: The musical ensemble edition'.

Their weapons of choice differed too. Most were handguns. Berettas, Glocks. One even had an Ak47. His smile when he noticed me looking told me he would kill for an opportunity to use it. Literally.

He scared me a little less than the one in the far corner, closest to fireplace man. A woman in fact. She was slouched against the wall in way that said she didn't care to be here. She was one of the ones who looked like she belonged better on a nice day out. But I caught the sharp glint of metal and made a note that if I were to survive, best not to piss her off.

I still hadn't said anything and was deciding what my best option was when fireplace man suddenly knocked back the rest of his drink, slamming the glass onto the mantelpiece before taking his weight of it and turning to face the room.

He didn't bother to look anywhere but me, and it gave me an excellent opportunity to recognise his face.

We'd never met before, Alejandro and I. Not really. We'd been finishing up a job one night that hadn't gone as smoothly as I'd like it to. I had a feeling, just a feeling. Like a whisper on the back of my neck. The barest tingle that made me turn and aim into the dark before I'd even thought it through. There was nobody there at first. But then a shadow moved and began to slink back into the alleyways. I kept my gun trained on him, but didn't pull the trigger. He glanced at me for a millisecond, but that glimpse of dark, dark eyes sent a chill down my spine.

I never pulled the trigger.

I kept the gun aimed at where he'd been for twenty minutes.

He asked me a question. That day in that red room, dappled by sunlight.

That's all it took. A question.

"Are you afraid?"

To this day, I don't know why but I didn't hesitate.

Hey Guys! I am so so sorry for such a long wait! I wrote this chapter over a year ago and I have written many others since then but I have been wrestiling with the order, the timeline the plot you name it. It is very rough, and I warn you I will probably be doing a lot of editing. But i wanted you to see something at least so I can put you out of your misery! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS! I have had a rubbish 12 months but every time I see another review it makes me smile so much. Thank you for your unwavering support and love. I only hope I can live up to it! Do let me know what you think and I'll try and get the rest to you asap.

All my love! x