Author's Note: My dear, faithful readers I am sooo sorry this chapter took me so long. I had been feeling particularly uninspired. I thought I would reward your patience though with a much longer chapter so without further adieu here is Chapter 4!

PS: Later in this chapter I change the point of view from Pansy to Ron and I had intended for there to be a break between the sections but I couldn't figure out how to get the spacing to do what I wanted. If anyone has any tips or help they want to send my way please please DM me or comment. Alright, on with the story. :-)

A few hours later we woke to the sound of tapping on my window. A large tawny owl was perched on the sill outside holding a crimson envelope in its beak that I immediately recognized as a Howler. I untangled myself from Ron and opened the window. The owl hopped inside, deposited the Howler and took off back out the window not waiting for the inevitable explosion. I checked who the thing was addressed to and saw Ron's name scrawled across the front in a messy script. I grabbed his blanketed foot and jerked him awake. He sat bolt upright in surprise, clutching the blanket to his chest.

"What?! What's goin on?!" He shouted.

"A Howler was just delivered for you. Doesn't say who it's from." I looked disapprovingly down at the red envelope. He scrambled out of bed and came to stand next to me.

"Do you recognize the handwriting?" He bent down to get a better look but made no move to pick the thing up.

"George." He groaned.

"George? You mean your brother? What the hell is he doing sending you a Howler? And to my house no less!" I looked at him expectantly.

Just then the Howler began giving off a thick smoke. It split open at the seam to form a mouth and floated up into the air. A man's voice pitched high in imitation of a stern matron screamed through my small room.

"RONALD WEASLEY! WHERE ARE YOU?! YOU WERE MEANT TO BE HERE AT 8 AM SHARP THIS MORNING, BUT WHERE DO I FIND YOU?! MISSING! I CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT YOU ARE DEAD IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE BECAUSE I CAN SEE NO OTHER REASON FOR YOUR NOT BEING HERE TO OPEN THE STORE! WHEN YOU FINALLY DECIDE YOU'RE READY TO BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME!" In a final burst of flames the Howler dropped to the ground in a smoldering pile of ash.

Ron smiled sheepishly at the thunder storm that played across my face. The silence left behind in the Howler's wake was deafening and the uncomfortable look on Ron's face was worse. I grabbed my wand off my dresser and cleaned up the smoking remains from the floor. When I looked back at Ron he was rubbing his neck anxiously and staring at the floor. The strange haze that the two of us had been in since last night had been blown apart by a screaming red envelope. We were left with nothing but confusion and regrets.

"I guess you better go then." I said casually as my heart fell sadly.

"Oh. Yeah I guess… I'll just get my things." He turned round and collected his scattered clothes.

Pulling on his pants he wouldn't look at me. I wanted so badly to walk over and wrap my arms around his bare chest letting my head rest on his strong back, keeping him from leaving me and our little haven. I held myself back. Whatever this had been it wouldn't, couldn't survive in the light of day. Our lives always had been and always would be in opposition and one drunken, passion filled night wouldn't change that. I turned sadly so he wouldn't see the sadness in my eyes and searched for my discarded panties. Pulling them and my shirt on one after another I gave myself a chance to pull it together. By the time I turned around Ron was standing at the end of my bed fully dressed missing only his shoes which he held in his hands.

"So is this goodbye then? Or will we… are we going to…" He struggled to finish the thought. Deciding not to answer because I had no answer I turned and took a step towards the door.

"I'll walk you out." He looked at his shoes disappointedly.

We walked down the hallway in silence our minds working overtime trying to come up with something, anything to say to turn these last moments into something other than what they were. They remained a let down. I opened the front door. He bent slowly to put his shoes on, dragging out his every move not wanting to leave yet. When he finally stood his face was pained. Unspoken words and desires flashed behind his eyes as we stood there in the open doorway.

"I had a-a great time with you Pansy. Sorry again about the mug… and the Howler." So much regret and frustration was wrapped up in that one word, Howler. I looked down at my bare feet overwhelmed by all the things I couldn't say.

"Yeah. You should go Weasley." I hated myself for saying those words, for not saying any of the things that were rattling around in my head. It was better this way I tried to convince myself, why drag things out if you know from the start it'll never work?

He took a step over the threshold. My eyes met his and the emotion in them nearly bowled me over.

"I don't regret what we did. I never will. I hope you don't regret it either." He turned and walked away down the hall.

I closed my door slowly, leaning against it heavily as the latch clicked shut. There was no way that we could work, we were too different. The way we had been raised, our families, our friends. These were things that people couldn't overcome, weren't they?

In a daze I walked away from her, following the worn red carpet down staircase after staircase until I wound up outside on an empty gray street. As I looked around completely lost I remembered that Pansy had apparated us back to her place last night. I found a doorway a little ways from her building and hid inside before apparating myself to the flat above Weasley's Wizard Wheezes where I had been living since agreeing to help George run the business. It was a small, one bedroom apartment with basic fixtures and no real character. Since moving in I hadn't really spent much time there, it was only ever really a place to go when Hermione was busy, but since she had decided we weren't right romantically I had been spending almost all my time behind these boring walls. I really needed to do some decorating. At least put up some posters or something.

Looking around my gaze settled on the sink in the kitchen and I was right back with her. I could still smell her on my clothes and my skin. My head whirled with the memories and I had to shake myself. She clearly wanted nothing more to do with me, after all she practically kicked me out of her apartment. None of it made any sense, better to just think of something else. A loud bang shook the floor and windows giving me the perfect excuse to think of anything but how I was feeling. I walked into my bedroom and quickly changed into my usual work suit, a blue pinstripe that I had had tailored to fit me exactly. It always made me feel smart and sure of myself when I wore this suit and I was going to need all the help I could get to deal with George.

Giving myself a final once over in the mirror I headed downstairs. The store was packed as usual so I made my way to the counter at the back where George usually liked to perch. He was there giving a group of teens a demonstration of one of his trickier items. I slipped behind the desk and sat down. It didn't take long for him to notice me. I groaned inwardly as he quickly wrapped up the show and made his way over to me.

"So who is she?" He grinned broadly down at me.

"Who is who?"

"Oh Ronald, don't play coy with me. You were with a girl last night, that's the only explanation for you missing work." He leaned into me. "So who is she?"

"I wasn't with anyone, I just got too drunk is all." I could feel the guilty blush creeping up my neck.

"You live upstairs Ron. You never would have been able to sleep through the racket down here and besides I looked for you and you were quite clearly not home. Did you and Hermione get back together?" His tone softened slightly.

"No." I stood up and walked around the counter, pretending to fix a display of Skiving Snackboxes.

"Alright, I'll leave it alone for now. But eventually I will find out. I always do." He winked at me knowingly before wandering off to find customers to entertain.

I looked down at the box in my hand. Puking Pastille, appropriate for how I felt at the moment. Why was it that girls had to be so damn confusing? They never said what they meant but always meant what they said, only in their heads what they said was enhanced with extra context and analysis which they had been thinking about for days. Hermione had always been smarter than me but I knew that going in, she was the smartest witch of our age after all, but she never acted like it. She had always eventually gotten me to understand what was going on and it had just worked. Being with her had been safe and comfortable. Being with Pansy on the other hand had been like being struck by lightning, exciting and powerful but at the end I was left dazed and confused unable to tell left from right. I put down the box and walked back behind the counter lost in thought. It was a long time before I realized someone was standing in front of me.

"Hullo. What can I…" Blinking I saw that it was Harry.

"Alright mate, you ok?" He chuckled as I straightened up.

"Yeah, long night."

He raised an eyebrow at me but didn't say anything.

"Why don't girls ever say what they mean? I mean, you spend an amazing night with a girl and share something together and in the morning she kicks you out! How the hell does that make any sense?!" My head dropped into my hands in defeat.

"Girls have never made any sense. I just got really lucky and found one that tells me exactly what she wants. Sorry mate. Hermione's not like that though, she doesn't play games. I don't think she even knows how to play games like that."

"Mna talkin buh mione." I groaned into my palms.

"What?!"

"I'm not talking about Hermione!" I yelled too loudly as I lifted my head.

"Oh… Well then who?"

"I can't tell you?" I said sheepishly.

"What? Why not?" Harry looked incredulous.

"You wouldn't like it."

"Fine, don't tell me. I was just trying to help but if you'd rather just mope about your secret sweetheart then be my guest."

I opened and closed my mouth a few times but nothing came out. I had no smart reply. He was right, I was being an idiot.

"Pansy." Her name came out as barely a whisper.

"What?"

"I was with Pansy last night." I waited for the disgust and look of disapproval but it never came.

"Parkinson?"

"Yeah."

"Oh… Well she dated Malfoy so she's probably used to a different kind of relationship." He shrugged.

It was silly to think that Harry would judge me for anything, we'd been through too much for who I shagged to change his opinion of me. Even still a part of me was relieved that he seemed not to mind my choice. I relaxed on my stool.

"So you're not upset?"

"Why would I be? I mean I'm not thrilled, I had hoped that you and Hermione might make it together but if Malfoy can change then I'm sure Parkinson can change too." He smiled at me earnestly.

"Thanks mate. But I don't think you really need to worry, I don't think she even likes me."

"What do you mean? What exactly happened between you two?"

I proceeded to tell him everything. About seeing her at the pub and feeling the overwhelming need to kiss her after she insulted Hermione. About the alley and her flat. Waking up to her smiling in her sleep and failing to make her breakfast. Breaking her mug, fixing her mug. I told him every last detail and how none of it matched with the moment before. She had me at a complete loss and I didn't know what to do about it.

"She cried?" He asked, shocked.

"Yeah. It was like something inside her broke and it was all too much. She doesn't know this but I cried too a little bit. I dunno what it was but that moment… I'd never felt anything like it." We sat there in silence for a minute going over things in our head.

"But then the owl with George's Howler showed up and it was like she flipped a switch and everything that had happened meant nothing to her. She couldn't get me out of there fast enough. I don't understand what happened. Does she hate me? Did she ever really want me at all or was it just the alcohol?"

"Was she drinking?"

"I don't really remember. No, I don't think so. She was going over a bunch of paperwork when I sat down." Talking to her was all a little hazy since by that point I had already had a few drinks but some things were coming back to me.

"Well then you can rest assured that it wasn't just the drink." Harry smiled optimistically.

"Yeah, well it still could have just been the dark. Everything is more inviting in the dark." I was still unsure.

"It sounds like she probably likes you. I mean she doesn't seem like the type to just cry after sex does she? There had to be a reason and I don't think it was that you hurt her, you'd never do that to a girl."

"Yeah, maybe."

"There's only really one way to be sure and that's to see her again. Talk to her."

I nodded, only half listening. I was back in her bedroom this morning with her in my arms. Harry was right, I had to see her again.