I sat atop a stool, trying to cure the gnawing hunger I'd worked up that morning. My metabolism wasn't quite as high as Steve's, but on days where I exerted a fair amount of energy I felt I might actually hold my own when it came to eating to fill the void that was my stomach. With a sigh, I gazed towards the cabinets around me, uncertain if I should continue raiding the kitchen or wait for the growling to subside.
A familiar set of footsteps made their way towards the room, pausing only for a moment before continuing their journey towards the fridge. Bruce glanced at the empty plate in front of me, a small, tender smile ghosting across his face as he realized the dilemma I was in. "Can I get you something?" He pulled the door open turned his attention forward, stacking the ingredients to a turkey sandwich in his arm.
My stomach growled inaudibly, but it was enough to settle my debate, "I think I could go for a sandwich too, if you don't mind?" Standing up, I crossed over to the pantry and grabbed the bread as he set the items he carried on the countertop.
"No problem." The trace of humor in his voice and lingering smile were enough to awaken the butterflies in my stomach.
I didn't respond immediately, turning away almost too quickly in an attempt to hide my own expression as I retrieved a knife from the nearby drawer. Taking a quick breath, I collected myself before joining him.
"I think it might have something to do with the radiation." He thought out loud.
"Hm?" I paused to look up from the piece of bread I'd begun to spread mayonnaise over as he continued to stack turkey on the piece he held. I'd been thinking back to the previous night, trying to decide what to make of it as thoughts and memories of being wrapped in his warm embrace played through my mind. My eyes stopped at that faint curve still on his lips and I averted my gaze as I caught myself.
"The hunger," He elaborated, "Your metabolism is much higher, yes, but I think when you pull energy from radiation you push yourself further than you'd normally be able to go."
"Oh, that." I nodded, "I think that's it. I'm not usually this hungry." I extended the bread to him after adding a squeeze of mustard just as he finished stacking the meat and toppings on the first slice of bread.
There was a lull in the conversation after that point. He continued to assemble the second sandwich, slowing only once to look at me from the corner of his eye, "Are you alright?"
Suddenly I was reminded just how observant he was. "Yeah." I offered a smile, not missing a beat. "Just getting used to the whole radiation thing."
He turned as he handed me the second sandwich, eyes catching mine as he did. I thanked him and returned to my seat, feeling his eyes on my back for a moment. He knew I was lying, but how? I was sure to keep control of my expression as my stomach continued to do flips.
"How are things going in the lab?" I tried to redirect the conversation.
"Coming along." He took the seat next to me, "The data is helpful, there are a few possibilities we still have to test. Tracking suspicious activity has lead to a few hits, but nothing concrete." He took a bite of the sandwich he'd made for himself, glancing at me again with that same look on his face.
I knew he was deciding whether or not to call me out or simply play along. Raising a brow, I silently waited to see if he would. There was another break in the conversation where we simply ate without saying anything more. I was significantly less hungry as the tension I'm sure was only created on my part began to get to me, but I continued to eat the food and play along with my own charade.
Bruce picked up the napkin nearest to him and wiped the invisible crumbs from his face as he stood with the empty plate in hand, "It was your eyes." He stated calmly as he passed by, crossing the room to rinse the plate before placing it in the dishwasher.
I stared at him as he turned to me, feeling much like a deer in headlights. There was nothing else that I could say to shift the focus of the conversation. We both knew something had changed.
"You've been looking at me differently today." Shrugging he held my gaze, "I'm overwhelmed with everything that's happened lately too, but I meant it." Without going too far into it, he offered one last ghost of a smile before exiting to make his way back to the lab.
With words and disposition alone, the mild mannered, gentle scientist I'd come to know left my heart palpitating as I sat there at a loss of what to do next. He'd meant it. The thought was enough to stir the butterflies, warm me, and yet terrify me all at once.
It wasn't until later on that I had the nerve to actually face Bruce on purpose. Taking a deep breath, I exhaled to steady my nerves and fluttering heart before raising my hand to knock on his door. His eyebrows rose slightly when he saw me standing there, but he stepped aside to allow me in before closing the door behind us.
I paced a few steps and back before stopping myself, finally regarding him fully. My words failed me as I tried to think of something to say. I didn't have a plan. I was just standing there nervous and vulnerable.
His face softened and some of the stress of the day melted away as he watched me, picking up on the obvious turmoil I was in. He breathed, pausing only to skip over a greeting, thinking better of it as he stepped closer, "I know that there's a lot going on. Even before Hydra, there were things that were stressful, to say the least." He began, the warmth in his eyes working to put me at ease as he continued, "Though between everything there were these moments that were invaluable to me. You were so unafraid of me, of being around me…and I spent so much time trying to avoid getting too close."
I waited for him to continue, flashes of everything leading up to this moment coming to mind.
A wry smile turned the corners of his mouth and he let out a quiet exhale of laughter, "It didn't work. I don't think I was even fooling myself, but I did pretend that I was." He shook his head, all traces of humor vanishing, but his features remained soft, "I realized how much of a mistake that was when it was too late." He swallowed, trailing off at that statement before going on. "I just can't do that again. If nothing comes of it, then fine, but I won't waste what time I have with those I care about, friends or…" He left the sentence hanging in the air, unsure of what word would finish the thought best.
I didn't have a word to finish it either. My thoughts were clouded with emotions that left me tongue tied. I looked away as I thought. All this time, I hadn't been alone in the awkward thing we called a friendship. I cared deeply for him, also choosing to spend my time pretending that the feeling didn't run quite as far as it did for fear of changing whatever it was that we found in each other. I'd been afraid that my feelings would push him away, so I'd never even considered mentioning them. It just wasn't an option before. We were both slow to warm up, but somehow we clicked from the beginning. I was scared to lose that.
"Rachel, please say something." He prompted gently. The look on his face told me he was having a hard time reading my emotions. That made two of us.
There weren't words to express what I was feeling. All I knew was that this opportunity to be even closer had presented itself again and I wasn't ready to pass it up. I stepped forward, pausing as I regarded him once more, the fluttering making a comeback. I didn't know how to say it, but I wanted to be in his arms again. To have him pull me close just as I did him, to feel his lips again and know that it wasn't a mistake or a dream.
Everything else seemed to be tuned out as I looked at him, unable to look away. I was vividly aware of my pounding heart and the small tremors shaking the hands I'd been trying to steady, everything coming to a peak before I moved in and closed the gap between us. My arms wrapped around his frame, leaning forward and tilting my head upwards as I pressed my lips to his and tried not to panic.
He was still for a moment, the shock taking a moment to register before he returned the gesture and wrapped his arms securely around me. There really wasn't a word to finish the statement, but at the moment it didn't matter. I wasn't about to break away and ask what it all meant as my hand found its way to his curly dark hair. I just knew that this felt right.