"…I guess I just don't know what to do." I sighed. I'd been explaining things to my dad over a secure video connection. The story started with James and ended with the previous day, omitting some of the more gruesome details to somewhat manage the shock I'd be putting him through.
"Awww, Sweetheart." He managed as his mind worked to process the information, "If I had known from the beginning…"
At that I shook my head, "I wanted to work things out myself, Dad." I attempted to redirect the conversation away from the what ifs, "No one could have known how things would just spiral from there."
"Yeah…" He paused and I let him take the time to gather his thoughts. Finally, he looked back at the screen, "You know, you always have a place at home." It was a statement and an offer. He was trying to keep his voice level, but the worry was expressed in his features, "You don't have to fight these…Hydra people. There are other groups, agencies even, that should be dealing with this."
"That's the thing. Hydra was hiding in the group that was meant for this and now the people that can be trusted are few and far between." I explained.
"At least those people signed up for a dangerous job."
He had a point. "Dad…" I was at a loss for a moment. "It's hard to explain, but I feel like I need to be here right now."
You would think someone had just died by the look on his face, but he couldn't muster the words to express it. Instead he looked off to the side for a long moment as a silent conversation played out in his mind. I knew his gaze had gone to the photograph he'd taken from his house before being whisked away to a safe house. If I had to guess, it'd be the last family picture we'd taken before my mom passed. The thought made my own eyes sting with unshed tears
My mom had always been a free spirit, encouraging my father and I to branch out and follow whatever creative whims came our way. She was good for him, lightening the mood and keeping him from being too serious about the little things so that he could focus on the big picture and enjoy life. He, on the other hand, was the more practical and grounding one in the relationship. No matter what, he would follow my mom on her adventures, but would always make sure that we were safe. It nearly killed him when she died and he in turn tried to shelter me from the world.
That was one of the driving factors in my move to New York. I couldn't stand the constant reminders of her passing, the stagnation of always sticking to the same routine and avoiding every little thing that could possibly harm me. Even after leaving home, he'd always check in on me. He'd always ask if I'd eaten, if I needed help with finances, if he needed to do some minor repairs, if I'd maintained my vehicle properly, who I was seeing at the time, etc. It was suffocating and I had to get out of it. I loved him dearly, but I didn't want to be stunted in my growth as a person.
When he did return his attention to the screen, I knew he was struggling to accept the thought of me staying in Avengers Tower. The concern was still present, but his voice was less frantic, "It's dangerous out there…" He murmured, looking to the screen evenly as he seemed to come to terms with the idea.
"Yes." I confirmed.
"And you want to stay?"
"For this, yes." I nodded. I wasn't sure that I wanted to be some sort of agent, but at least for now I needed to be here and see this through.
He swallowed and squared his shoulders, "Then it seems you know what to do."
I stayed silent, still unsure, but unwilling to go into more detail with him. Eric posed a big problem for me. Not only would detaining him be difficult, it could have been impossible which only left one of us dead in the end. I didn't have it in me to elaborate on my current dilemma with my father. The thought of his only child being killed or possibly being involved in the killing of another would break his heart further. I already knew he'd be up most nights worrying himself sick until everything was resolved, there was no reason to add fuel to the fire.
He sighed, "Be careful, Sweetheart. You're all that I've-" His voice brought me back and I cut him off before he could finish the thought.
"Dad." I nodded to him, making him understand that he was the closest family member I had left as well, "I'll be okay." I stated firmly. He didn't need to see me doubt myself. This would be the last time I'd let him see me worried.
"Contrary to what you believe, everything I've done was in your best interest…" Eric's voice continued to pester me. Of all of the things, why did it have to be that? I slammed my fist into the punching bag in front of me as my mind continued to try working things out.
No matter how much I wished taking out my frustrations would help, it didn't. I'd been here for almost an hour trying to wade through my muddled thoughts and fuzzy memories, but it seemed like I hadn't made any progress. I wanted to hate Eric just as I did Hydra, and yet I couldn't. I was enraged by what he'd done, yes. It just had yet to justify me killing him if it came down to it.
Breathing heavily, I focused on evening out each breath as I steadied the punching bag before allowing it to hang freely. Scooping up the water bottle I'd left nearby, I took a sip and continued to pace in an attempt to burn off the nervous energy. Frowning, I glanced at the water bottle as another unwanted memory made it to the forefront of my mind.
Inhaling sharply, I recoiled and used my hands and arms to scoot myself back along the cold cement flooring. "Stop, I'm fine." I blurted out as Eric moved forward in his crouched position.
"Shut up and let me take a look." He hissed, rolling up the fabric of my pants and gripping behind my knee firmly to keep it in place. Everything hurt. Every nerve and muscle urged for me to curl up in a corner and stay there, but Eric had come by and interrupted that. "It's open again." He muttered to himself, "I don't have time to stitch it up.'
"You shouldn't be here." I shot a nervous glace towards the door, terrified it'd swing open again. This had been my punishment for trying to escape. The point had been made very clear that I was not getting out of Hydra so I'd better make the best of it. If you deviated, like I had, you'd find yourself in a bare room beaten and bruised for however long was seen fit. Then there was the side of Hydra everyone seemed to adjust to where you continued on for the larger plan and were afforded various rewards, be it the lack of punishment or accommodations and money. Finally, there were spots for people who dedicated their lives, generations even, to Hydra and were pushed to the top ranks. And so, here I was at the very bottom. If someone came in while Eric was here, we'd both be in for it. Already scared out of my mind of what else would come, I didn't dare imagine the trouble we'd be in if he didn't leave soon. "Don't-"
A steely glare sent another quick message for me to be quiet as he covered the wound above my knee with gauze and wrapped it tightly. "No one will see it, just keep your mouth shut. Okay?" His tone was one I recognized, taking on that of the one he used while giving instructions on a mission when things got tense.
After I nodded, he handed me a plastic water bottle of which I gratefully accepted. My mouth was so dry that my throat had begun to hurt after only breathing in the stale, dry air of this confinement. The water was cool, but as soon as I took the first sip, I immediately discarded the container as my face twisted to show my confusion and disgust. It was bitter and gritty, far from the refreshing reprieve that I'd hoped for.
He pressed the water bottle back into my hands and held it there until I accepted the offering, "There's a pain killer in that, which you'll need. It sounds like you'll be here for a few more days."
"Why?" Although I didn't specify exactly what I was asking, it was understood that I was asking why he'd risk coming here at all.
For a split second, his expression softened, but he caught himself and brought the attention back to the task at hand. "Hurry up."
I sighed, unsurprised by his evasion. Hastily gulping down the acrid water, I handed the container back to him when I finished and watched him stand up to leave. "Thank you." I whispered quietly. He hesitated for a moment, but did not turn back as he quietly slipped from the room.
Everything after that was still fuzzy, no doubt a result of the memory manipulation and pain killers, but it did make me pause. Why would the person responsible for bringing me to Hydra go out of his way to help me? If I'd actually known him better the answer would be staring me in the face. Unfortunately, he always seemed to go out of his way to avoid personal questions which left me only with distorted memories to go off of.
He had been a SHIELD agent, however. With any luck, there would be some information about him that hadn't been forged by Hydra. Now that I had a new train of thought I could finally focus and hopefully gain some clarity.
Tony was able to pull up Eric's old file within the hour with a little help from Clint to tell him how the files would most likely be sorted. "Trying to find out what skill is weakest?" Clint asked, eyebrows raised.
"Not exactly." I briefly chewed my lip and sighed before deciding against elaborating just yet.
"I think…" Tony started, finishing up his thought after a moment, "I've got it." He looked at the holographic document that had been displayed, frowning at the image of Eric that accompanied the information, "Yeah, definitely him."
Bruce, who had continued to work diligently towards tracking down leads stopped and joined us as we viewed the floating text. Gently, his hand came to rest on my back, rubbing small circles briefly before allowing his hand to fall to his side as we all silently ready the file.
Name: Eric Allen
Status: Defected
Clearance: Level 7
Personnel File:
Agent Eric Allen was recruited by Alexander Pierce along with his sister, [Redacted] after being apprehended for the procurement and sale of classified intelligence for various online buyers. Upon assessment, Agent Allen was found to possess a variety of skills including strategic planning, hand to hand combat, firearms, long range marksmanship, and first aid. Allen has been proven to be most successful working on missions with [Redacted], but will, if necessary, work with fellow agents without issue.
Weapons:
Agent Eric Allen is extremely versatile, able to learn the workings of most weapons in very limited amounts of time. He quickly adapts to the environment and is able to use his surroundings to his advantage. Agent Allen tends to prefer silent executions, but will favor a knife if he is given a choice of weapons.
Important Notice:
Following the mission in [Redacted], Agent Allen has been put on personal leave following the death of [Redacted] Details regarding the circumstances of [Redacted] passing are not to be discussed or shared with Agent Allen at any time.
Important Notice:
The upcoming arrangement with [Redacted] has been compromised. Agent Allen has returned from leave. When questioned about [Redacted], he stated that he had no involvement. Due to unclear evidence and suspicious circumstances, Agent Allen has been placed on desk duty until a full and comprehensive evaluation has been completed.
Important Notice:
Agent Eric Allen has been cleared for future deployment.
Important Notice:
Although missions with Agent Allen have been successful, he seems to have withdrawn from team members. Another request for evaluation has been made.
Important Notice:
Agent Allen has requested to be stationed in New York at the facility in [Redacted]. His request has been approved.
The following pages held more information, but the majority had been redacted and required further research if any trace of it were to be found. A fleeting look of recognition flashed across Clint's face and he immediately began to manipulate the holograms until he reached the file he'd been looking for after a few minutes.
"I think I remember them…" He spoke to himself out loud, "I never met him, but I did talk to his sister once or twice."
Name: [Redacted]
Status: Deceased
Clearance: Level 6
Personnel File:
Agent [Redacted] was recruited by Alexander Pierce when apprehended with her brother for committing various international crimes. Upon assessment, Agent Allen was found to possess a variety of skills including strategic planning, hand to hand combat, and firearms. She was also found to be a powerful asset in the art of persuasion, able to talk her way in and out of most situations with a total of five languages spoken fluently and basic knowledge of three others. Agent Allen is best paired on missions with her brother, Eric Allen, but contrary to her brother's introverted nature she is more willing to establish and maintain bonds.
Weapons:
Agent Allen, in most situations, will make attempts to escape situations with minimal casualties. Unless given a direct order to eliminate a target she will, if possible, stun an apprehend subjects using precise strikes to the nervous system. When in a pinch, Agent Allen will fall back on her deadly aim.
Important Notice:
Following Agent Eric Allen's injury in [Redacted], Agent Allen has requested to complete the mission. Her request has been denied.
Important Notice:
Due to worsening conditions [Redacted] Agent Allen has made another request to join the mission. Her request is pending.
Important Notice:
[Redacted] At this time Agent Allen is the best candidate for the team. [Redacted] will be deployed immediately.
Important Notice:
[Redacted] Agent Eric Allen is not to be informed of the details until further notice.
Much like Eric's file, the following pages had been for the most part redacted, but his sister's file said more than enough. Beyond her hair color, she bore no resemblance to me, but her description of weapons choice rung a bell and spoke volumes about her personality. Eric had been the first to teach me how to fight, offering a variety of approaches, but the fact that I'd chosen similarly to his sister explained only a few of his reactions. Still, I was certain we were leagues apart, but the little bit of information did offer a place to start.
"They never told him how she died?" Bruce was the first to break the silence.
"Not at first." Clint shook his head, "Not that I know of."
My stomach churned, knots twisting it into uncomfortable positions at the thought. I'd been an only child, but I couldn't begin to imagine the mix of despair and rage to find out that someone that I'd grown up with had died without explanation. "Why?" I managed, the idea was unfathomable and I was afraid of the answer I'd hear.
"I was never on the case, so I don't know the details, but my guess is the scope of the mission was too big to be jeopardized by an act of retaliation on his part." Clint frowned, "There were whispers before and after she died that SHIELD was looking to make amends, but things kept going wrong. After she died, no one could prove that he'd sabotaged things, but a string of pretty gruesome murders implied there was some hostility behind the crimes." He sighed, "It's exactly the thing that SHIELD was trying to avoid, but since no one had proof, he was reinstated. He had to have gotten the information he needed from pretty high up, though."
"Pierce, perhaps?" Tony chimed in, looking just as disturbed as Bruce and I.
"There's no evidence, but that'd be my guess too."
I sighed, still processing the information. The files were a start, but somehow it'd been easier to just believe that Eric and Dr. Sterns were just bad, manipulative, people involved with Hydra. Now with a little backstory, I was no closer to sorting out the turmoil that plagued my mind. Eric had lost his sister while working for SHIELD, but he had to be grasping at straws if he decided to spare me simply because of that. There had to be something more that I had yet to find.
AN: Sorry about the formatting in this chapter. At first I was concerned about the pacing of the story by trying to wedge in character development, but I also wanted to create redactions which did not work out as planned. There was no way, that I know of, for me to completely replace text with bars in an acceptable format, so I had to improvise. I'm a little sad that the bars weren't available, some sections were longer than others, but the alternative seems to be a bunch of apostrophes which I didn't like the look of. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. I'm open to suggestions regarding the redactions or anything else really, so please let me know!