A/N: Here is the last chapter finally. Sorry it took so long to update. Thanks for reading and all your reviews!
"Fire department, call out!"
The voices were muffled, even more so than just from the masks they were wearing, they sounded so far away, almost like a dream.
"What the hell?"
Something was pressing against his neck.
"Got a pulse, he's still alive!" A pause. "Oh my God, it's Casey!"
"What?"
There was a steady vibration against one of his wrists, he faintly identified it as a sawing motion. Tony was cutting through the ropes he'd been tied to the bed with.
Suddenly from somewhere towards the back there was the sound of a struggle, a yell, several grunts and groans, the sounds of somebody hitting the wall.
"Capp!"
There were a few more grunts and groans, a couple more noises of somebody being slammed against the wall, then a louder noise, a sickening crunch, and suddenly it was all over, the next thing he heard was a body hitting the floor.
"Capp!"
"I got it!"
The ropes were cut through and he felt his body collapse against the bed. Then he felt hands on him, turning him over. The next thing he felt was something being pressed against his face.
"Come on, Casey, breathe."
Tony's voice sounded different now, he wasn't sure how exactly. The air tasted fresher than it had a minute ago, he could just about go to sleep.
"Tony!" that was Capp, "Get your mask back on, smoke's getting worse!"
"He's still unconscious!" The air got thick again.
He could hear the sound of heavy footsteps coming over towards him, then he felt something else pressed against his face, and now Capp's voice sounded different.
"Come on, Casey, wake up."
Something caught in his throat and he started coughing, just barely. Then the air was cut off, and he heard Capp's muffled voice, "That's it, Casey, breathe." He felt Capp's hand slapping him on the back.
The ropes cutting off circulation in his feet were removed, then he heard Tony's voice.
"Let's get him dressed, we can't take him out like this!"
He felt two strong arms wrap around his chest and lift him up, in the process making contact with some of the bruises that covered his body, forcing involuntary moans of pain from his throat.
"Take it easy, Casey, we're gonna get you out of here, you're gonna be fine." That was Capp's voice.
Two pairs of hands manhandled him and he felt the rough material of the jeans and sweatshirt he was wrangled into.
"Let's get him out of here!"
"We can't tell the others about this."
"We'll say Casey was unconscious on the floor, as long as we stick with it, nobody will know any different. But what about him?"
"We'll say he's been dead for a while, if we're lucky the fire will get down here before anybody can get to him."
"Alright. Severide, we found Casey!"
"What?" Kelly's voice sounded so far away.
"We found him on the 4th floor, he's unconscious, we're bringing him down!"
He felt a gloved hand on his face. He didn't know why he thought of it, but he knew those gloves hadn't been there before.
"That'll cover the worst of it for now, let's go."
He felt two sets of arms under him and felt his body being lifted off of the bed, and felt himself being carried away.
"It's alright, Casey, we got you, you're gonna be alright."
"Matt? Matt."
Casey was drawn out of his thoughts and back to the here and now, which was his therapist's office. She sat in a chair across from him and looked at him as if she was waiting for an answer.
"I'm sorry, what'd you say?" he asked.
The blonde woman in her 30s slowly repeated her question, "Do you remember anything from the time of your rescue?"
Casey sat there in silence for a minute, then answered, "No. Nothing."
She nodded and replied, "It's possible that that will come back later on, if it doesn't I don't want you to see this as a step backwards. When victims lose consciousness during their attacks it's almost impossible for them to get back all memories for that timeline."
Casey nodded, "I understand."
"How have you been sleeping?" she asked, a seemingly nonthreatening question.
"You mean am I having nightmares about what happened to me," Matt said.
"Are you?"
"Sometimes," he admitted, "but..."
"But?"
"Do I wake up in the night screaming from them? No. Do I wake up and think I'm back in the hotel room? No. The ones that haunt me, those are still the ones from the job, the fires I've been in, the victims that I couldn't rescue, those are the ones that get me up in the night...not my attack. Maybe that's a letdown for your expectations of me as a patient, I don't really care. Don't take this the wrong way but, how long do I have to keep seeing you before I can go back to work?"
"Do you think you're ready to go back to work?"
"I know I am."
"Then what're you still doing here?" she asked.
"Boden wouldn't let me come back until I did," he answered.
"And why do you think that is?"
"So I don't get myself and everybody else killed on a job when something triggers a flashback and I think that son of a bitch is raping me all over again," Casey sniped. "This is really what you people do all day?"
She ignored his comment and said, "A while back I gave you an assignment to do, did you get it completed?"
"Yeah," he answered. "My answer is I have nothing to say."
"And why is that?" she asked.
"Because there's nothing to say. Because there's no such thing as closure. He's dead, he's already burning in hell, that pretty much sums up anything I would've had to say. I've worked with the police long enough to get an idea how people like this work. You can't say anything to them that will affect them, and they just feed off your vulnerabilities, so they keep the power, which is what it's all about for them. He already took everything from me he's going to. I'm not wasting my time saying anything that I'll just kick myself for later because I didn't get out of it what I'd planned on."
His therapist just nodded as she looked over her notes, then she took off her glasses and asked him, "So again, why are you still here?"
Casey looked at her. "What?"
"You feel ready to return to work, why haven't you?" she asked.
He stared at her with a confused look on his face, as if he couldn't comprehend the words she'd said.
"You mean..."
"I've already put in my report to the department after last session and concluded that you are mentally and emotionally ready to return to work," she told him.
Casey's chest heaved a couple times as he tried to respond. Finally he asked her, "Are you jerking me around?"
"I've recommended that you return to full duty, effective immediately," she said simply. "You are a man with an incredible support system around you to make as much progress as you have in such a short amount of time, it is my professional opinion you will do well on your recovery."
Casey opened his mouth, then closed it, and inhaled, then exhaled, and asked her, "So I don't have to come here anymore?"
"Not if you don't see a purpose in it," she said.
"I can go back to 51?"
"If you wish."
Matt fidgeted in his chair a couple times, then he jumped up with a victorious howl. He closed the gap between the two of them, put his arms around his therapist and kissed her, then jumped back with another screaming whoop. Then he seemed to remember where he was and tried to compose himself, and just about collapsed back in his chair.
"I'm sorry, I just...thank you! You don't know what this means to me."
"I have a pretty good idea, Matt," she replied with a knowing smile.
He caught his breath a couple times, then ran out of the office, down the hall, left the building and ran out to his truck, screaming triumphantly the entire way. Once he got in the driver's seat of his truck and closed the door, he collapsed against the steering wheel and tried to catch his breath. He sat there for several minutes breathing heavily, then folded his arms over the wheel, rested his head on them, and broke down crying, this time in relief, feeling that the worst was finally over.
There was a knock at the front door. Casey opened it and saw Severide standing outside.
"Is it true? You're coming back tomorrow?" he asked, looking anxious about the answer.
"That's the plan," Casey answered.
"So...you want some company tonight?" Kelly asked.
Casey smiled at him, "I appreciate it, Kelly, but I don't need someone to hold my hand."
"I know...so do you want some company tonight?" Severide asked.
Casey smiled more genuinely and said, "Definitely."
Severide grinned and showed himself in.
Casey lay in his bed that night and tossed and turned from one side to the other trying to get comfortable.
"You asleep?" Severide asked from the other side of the bed.
"No," he answered as he turned over and bumped into Kelly.
"Close?"
"No."
"Me either," Kelly said, Casey could almost hear him smiling as he added, "This is as bad as being a kid at Christmas."
"It feels like I've been gone forever," Casey admitted as he turned on his back and looked at the ceiling.
"You'll be fine," Kelly told him.
"I've been afraid to ask, how's it been without me?" Casey asked.
"Your absence is definitely apparent," Severide answered. "Everybody's been going nuts waiting for you to come back."
In the dark, Casey could hear Severide moving around on his side of the bed, and he could just guess what Kelly was doing. Smiling smugly to himself, he hunkered down against the mattress and told him, "You're wasting your time, it's not there."
That caught Kelly off guard. Casey heard him turn over and ask him, "Huh?"
"I gave it back to Herrmann," Casey told him as he pulled the covers up around him.
"Seriously?"
"Yep," he answered, "been sleeping like a baby the past couple weeks."
There was silence for a couple seconds, followed by Severide's voice. "That's great, Casey."
"Yeah, it has been until tonight anyway," Matt replied. "I don't think a whole bottle of sleeping pills would affect me tonight."
"You nervous?" Kelly asked.
Casey hesitated before answering. "Maybe. Like I said, it feels like it's been forever since I was there."
Severide looked over at Casey and told him, "hey, if it'll make you feel better, if it's a slow shift we'll run some extra drills and make sure you're ready."
"Oh that wouldn't be embarrassing at all," Casey said dryly as he turned his back to Kelly.
"Hey, we'll tell the others it's to make sure they didn't slouch off without you," Severide said.
"Hmm...could work."
He felt the mattress shift as Severide turned on his side, and felt his hand on his back, "You'll do great tomorrow, don't worry about it. Just try and get some sleep."
Casey slowly nodded, and closed his eyes, and waited for sleep to come.
Kelly didn't know if Casey had actually fallen asleep during the night, but he was up early with plenty of nervous energy to burn as he waited for the moment of truth to arrive. Severide woke up at 5 and realized the other side of the bed was empty, curious, he got up and checked the apartment and couldn't find Casey anywhere, so he went outside, and found his truck was still parked at the curb, and looked around and finally saw a figure in the streetlights at the corner and saw Casey running down the block.
"What're you doing?" Kelly asked as Matt came to a stop at the sidewalk.
Casey huffed and puffed and from the illumination of the street lamps Kelly could see Casey was covered in perspiration. How the hell long had he been out there?
"I couldn't sleep," Casey explained as he walked up the steps.
"So what'd you do, run to Evanson and back?" Kelly asked.
Casey heaved a few more breaths and said only, "I need a shower," and headed inside.
By the time the sun actually came up, Casey had showered, shaved, dressed, had half a pot of coffee and three pieces of toast. Kelly tried to lighten the mood by saying, "You know things haven't changed that much at 51, Matt, they still feed you there."
"I feel like I'm going to lose my mind if I stand still," he said.
"Hey, buddy, you got this, just calm down," Kelly told him. "You want to ride with me?"
Casey shook his head, "I'll take my truck."
Severide looked at the clock and said, "Probably won't hurt to head in early, let's go."
Everybody was already at 51 and waiting on the apparatus floor when Casey and Severide arrived, and the men unanimously welcomed Casey back with an uproar of applause and greetings. Casey tried not to let on how overwhelming it was for him and shifted his eyes so he didn't look at anybody for too long, but he was sure the heat he felt in his cheeks was noticeable.
Herrmann pushed his way to the front of the group and exclaimed, "Oh thank God, Casey, just the man I needed to see." He walked over to Matt and surprised everybody on the floor by hugging Casey and kissing him on the mouth. The floor erupted in an assortment of surprised reactions: eyes bugged out, jaws dropped, a couple of catcalls, a mixture of sounds of shock and amusement, none of which topped the wide eyed look of shock on Casey's face when Herrmann pulled away from him.
"Cindy ain't gonna like this," Mouch exclaimed.
Herrmann ignored that, looked Casey in the eyes and told him, "Please tell me you're taking over again as acting lieutenant, these last few weeks have been hell, I must'a been nuts to want this position."
That earned a laugh from everybody, Casey included, who put a hand on Herrmann's shoulder and told him, "At ease, Herrmann, I'll take it from here."
The whole floor exploded in a thunderous round of applause, none more so than the guys from Truck, who drowned out Hermann's response of "Aw shaddup!", and one by one everybody came up to personally welcome Casey back to 51. Boden was the last to speak. "Glad to have you back, Casey, now our House is complete again."
Any concerns Casey might've had about being able to do his job after being gone so long quickly evaporated. Shortly after shift began, calls started coming in and Truck, Squad and Engine were off and running, and Casey proved the body and mind didn't forget as he resumed his duties as if he'd never left. In one day they responded to three fires, two gas leaks, and one five car pileup in a main intersection. By night, everybody was exhausted and took advantage of the sudden lull between calls and headed to the bunk room to get some sleep while they could. Severide left his quarters and headed over to Casey's to check on him, though the rooms were dark he could see that Casey wasn't in his bed. A couple ideas came to him where he might be, first, though it seemed highly unlikely, he checked the bunks in the main room to see if he'd crawled in somewhere among the others, no such luck.
The locker room was empty, or appeared to be anyway, but as Severide entered and hit the lights, he could hear a weird sound coming from the showers. He headed over and checked every possible spot on the way that Casey might be, turning up nothing. He reached the showers and heard the muffled sounds coming from the middle stall.
"Casey?" He grabbed the curtain and pulled it back, and was met with an unusual sight of Casey rolling around on the floor of the stall with both hands pressed over his mouth, trying futilely to stifle the sounds that were coming out of him.
Initially, Kelly worried Casey might be having a seizure of some kind, he knelt down beside the stall and reached over to him to check him over. "Casey, you okay?"
Casey moved his hands, and what came out of his throat at full force was loud, hysterical, shrieking laughter. Kelly grabbed him and tried to restrain him. "Casey, what is it?"
One particularly loud howling laugh came out of him and he fell flat against the floor, unable to breathe. His body went through a spasm of still laughing but now there was no sound to accompany it, though he sucked in a few loud gulps of air as he tried to calm down. Finally he told Severide, "It worked...it worked...I did it...I still belong here."
Kelly readjusted his hold on Casey and embraced him, "Of course you do, I told you you'd be fine."
Casey placed one hand over his mouth again and closed his eyes, and said with a slight muffle, "You don't know...you just don't know what it's been like."
Severide held Casey tightly against him and clapped a hand on his back and told him, "I told you you were worrying for nothing...now it's all over."
Casey laughed as he reached around Kelly's back and held onto him, and responded, "Yeah..." then in a quieter voice that Severide couldn't hear he added, surprisingly somber, "almost."
"Casey? Psst, Casey, you awake?"
"Leave him alone, Capp, let him rest. He wakes up he's gonna be a holy terror."
That's what they thought. He'd only been pretending to be asleep because he got fed up with Capp trying to keep him amused. He was hoping if he played possum, they'd take the hint and go away. Didn't seem to be any such luck, they were determined to stay in his hospital room until Severide returned from whatever the hell it was he was doing.
"Just checking." Capp's voice got distant, but Casey could still hear him, "Do you think he knows?"
"He was pretty out of it, if he doesn't say anything, neither will we. The best we can hope for is that he forgets what happened."
"Yeah, but they know we lied about how we found him, what about the rest of it?"
"So we were wrong how long the bastard had been dead, we're firemen, not doctors. We should've let him burn."
"If we did, Casey wouldn't know the son of a bitch that did this is dead, it's better this way. At least he doesn't have to worry about that prick coming after him again."
"If only we'd gotten there sooner."
Casey hadn't been sure at the time if the conversation he'd heard had just been the drugs they had him on, or if he'd dreamed it. But in all actuality, he knew, he put it all together the night Voight came to the hospital. After Voight had left, and everyone from 51 had crowded around him, he'd felt their hands on him and he knew everybody's hand by touch. He didn't know how he knew them, but he had, and he knew the big hand that rested on the back of his head, was the same big hand that had hit him on the back when he started coughing, the same hand he'd felt snake around his ribcage when he'd been lifted off the bed to be dressed. He knew, but he tried not to think about it, he didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to admit it, any of it.
Next shift, Casey got to 51 earlier than usual and saw that he'd beat Severide there, he went to the locker room and felt he'd hit on a stroke of luck because Tony and Capp were there, already changed for shift, and they were the only other ones in the room. He went over to them and said, "Hey, guys, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure thing, Casey, what's up?" Tony asked.
He knew it wouldn't be easy before he even arrived, and though he'd gone over in his head what he was going to say to them, it wasn't any easier, he looked at them, and noted their nonchalant expressions as though everything was perfectly normal, even though he knew it wasn't, and he knew they had to know it wasn't, and he felt very self conscious, he'd started to regret doing this, but he couldn't back out now. So he fought every fiber of his being that was telling him to turn and run, and he said what he'd come there to tell them.
"I just...wanted to say...thanks, for pulling me out of the hotel room...thanks for, everything."
It felt like the walls were closing in on him, more to the point he felt like the two of them were closing in on him.
"It's no problem, Casey," Tony said to him, "we do anything for one of our own."
Casey slowly nodded and tried to act casual, but the air felt thick and it was hard to breathe and he felt lightheaded. He felt his head spinning, then he felt himself falling.
"Whoa!"
Two sets of hands grabbed him and somebody pulled him to his feet again. Casey heard himself breathing heavily, felt his chest heaving, did not want this to happen, did not want to fall apart in front of them, but he couldn't stop himself, he kept his head down and sucked in long inhales and choked them back out in short exhales. The next thing Casey knew, every part of his body was being squished as he was sandwiched between two strong firemen who were choking the life out of him in an awkward group hug. He felt that same telltale hand of Capp's patting him on the back as he told him, "You're okay."
In front of him he heard Tony's voice, and felt his hand tapping his cheek, "Come on, Casey, breathe."
Casey lifted his head, opened his eyes and was able to focus again. He heard the sound of the door opening, and without turning his head to look, he was able to see through the corner of his eye, Severide entering the locker room, and after briefly taking in the unusual sight before him, doubling back out the door without a word.
After another minute or so, Casey felt them pull away, he felt somebody's hand pat him on the shoulder and Tony asked him, "You okay, Casey?"
"Uh, yeah, yeah," he answered as he rubbed one eye, "sorry about that." He shook his head as if trying to clear it from a fog, and told them, "Thanks."
Casey left the locker room and saw Severide standing beside the door.
"Hey, Casey, you alright?" he asked.
Matt looked at him and nodded, "Yeah, I think so...finally."
The apartment building Severide was staying at was being fumigated, so he'd decided to stay with Casey for a couple days until it was safe to go back. Casey had invited him in but past that he seemed to be preoccupied with something and hardly stayed still for a minute, which Severide admitted wasn't quite like Casey, but he didn't think much of it either, and proceeded to make himself at home for the time being.
Casey spent almost an hour in the shower, and when he came out of the bathroom he was dressed in notably nicer stuff than he usually just palled around the apartment in, and even Severide took notice.
"What's the occasion?" he asked.
Casey stopped at the mirror on the wall and smoothed back his hair. "I have a date tonight."
"What?" Kelly threw his magazine behind the couch and hopped up, "Who is she? Where'd you meet, and how many kids does she have?"
"It's a blind date," Casey told him as he smoothed over his shirt to make sure there weren't any wrinkles, "Otis set me up."
"Otis? He can't even get himself a date," Kelly said, "who is she?"
"I don't know, some friend of a friend of a friend or something like that," Casey responded anxiously, "we're supposed to meet in half an hour."
"Casey, calm down," Kelly noted how erratic his friend was behaving, and quickly became concerned he was going to work himself up into a panic attack, "Just take it easy and breathe, okay?"
Casey looked annoyed but he loudly inhaled to humor him.
"Better?"
Casey took another deep breath, then announced with a shake of his head, "I'm not going."
"What?" Kelly asked. "Why not?"
"I can't do this," Casey said as he started to walk away.
"Of course you can."
"I can't," Casey turned back towards him and asked, "What if she wants to go back to her place? What if she wants to go to a hotel?"
"Then just tell her you're not that kind of guy," Kelly said simply.
Casey responded with an elbow to his ribs.
"Alright then, just tell her you have to get up early tomorrow for work," Severide told him.
"Then she'll think I don't like her," Casey said.
Kelly shrugged, "What if you don't like her? What's the problem then?"
"What if I do like her?" Casey responded.
There was a pause between them for a minute as Kelly contemplated the question, finally he answered, "If you like her, and if she likes you, then she should be able to understand taking a rain check on going to bed at least until your second date."
"I don't think I can do this," Casey admitted.
"Casey, stop, you're going to be fine," Kelly told him. "Just take it easy, and go slow. What's the rush?"
Casey took in another heavy breath as he thought about it.
"Okay, I'll tell you what, give me your phone," Kelly told him, and proceeded to help himself through Casey's pockets trying to find it.
"What're you doing?" Casey asked.
Kelly found his phone and started typing something on it, "If the date starts to go south, or you just want to get the hell out of there, just send me this message, I'll call you with some big emergency and you can leave and look like the hero, how could she get mad about that?"
Casey was sure there was an answer for that, but he couldn't think of one.
"I get it," Kelly told him. It was Casey's first time on a date since the rape had occurred, and it was only natural he was having doubts about how the night would go. "But you got this, buddy, I know you do."
"What if everything goes wrong?" Casey asked.
"Like what? Bad food, lousy movie?"
"What if I start freaking out in the middle of the date? What's she going to think?" Casey asked.
"If you think you are, just message me, I'll come pick you up, and I'll have an explanation all ready for her," Kelly said.
Casey looked at him, dumbstruck. "You'd do that?"
"Sure," Severide responded. "What're friends for?"
Casey inhaled slowly, and explained, "I just want everything to go right."
"Well you'll know if it is or not, if it's not, just get out of there, you can try again with someone else," Kelly told him.
Casey was breathing erratically again and it took a few minutes for him to calm down enough to tell Severide, "I'm going."
Severide grinned. "I'm proud of you."
"I'm leaving now before I change my mind," Casey told him as he grabbed his jacket.
"Good luck," Kelly called to him.
"Don't say that!"
Kelly figured within an hour or so, Casey would be calling him to either come get him, or to come up with an excuse why Casey had to hightail it out of wherever he went with his date. He sat on the couch and watched TV while he waited to hear from his friend...and waited...and waited...and finally fell asleep. When he woke up, it was morning and he heard the front door being unlocked, and he saw Casey step in.
"Well I didn't hear from you all night," he said, "so I'm guessing the date went well."
"Uh, yeah...it was fine," Casey said distantly, not making eye contact with him.
"What happened?"
"Uh...not much," Casey said as he took off his jacket.
"Not much? You were out all night."
"I know...I'm exhausted, I'm going to lay down for a while," Casey said as he headed towards the bedroom.
Severide was just starting to wonder what that was all about when he heard a knock at the door. He got off the couch and went to see who it was.
There was a woman standing outside, either late 20s or early 30s, long dark hair, eyes like a husky dog. Not exactly beautiful, but at face value he'd date her.
"Uh, hi," she said sheepishly, "Does Matt Casey live here?"
"Yeah, he does," Kelly answered, "can I help you?"
"My name's Janice Walker. We had a date last night," she told him, "and he forgot his phone when he left."
Kelly took it and tried to figure out how to ask what had gone on last night, he definitely wasn't going to get any answers out of Casey.
"Are you Kelly?" she asked.
"Yeah, I am."
"He'd started writing you a text and then he just erased it, he said he'd talk to you today, whatever it was," she said.
"Oh," Kelly didn't have any idea what to make of that.
"He ducked out early this morning, I think he was embarrassed about what happened last night."
Kelly was very tempted to ask her not to share any details with him, he wasn't sure he wanted to know, but before he could, she explained, "See, the hotel I'm staying at has thin walls and the people in the next room kind of killed the mood so once things quieted down, he just fell asleep."
Kelly looked at her. "You...you live in a hotel?"
"For the time being," she answered, "I told him I should be able to get an apartment in a couple weeks and then if we go out again we could actually have some privacy...he seemed to like that idea, last night was just kind of a wash."
"I see," Kelly said, slowly putting the pieces together, "well, I'll get him his phone and let him know that you stopped by."
"Thank you," she said, then turned to leave.
Kelly closed the door, then headed over to the bedroom and walked in. Casey had already gotten into bed and had the covers pulled up, Severide walked over and stood over the bed, and after a few seconds he saw Casey's eyes open.
"What is it?"
"Your date was just here," Kelly dropped the phone on the bedspread, "you left that behind when you left this morning."
"Oh..."
"You stayed the night in a hotel?" Severide asked.
"I really don't want to talk about it, Kelly."
"Come on, Casey, it didn't sound to me like you have anything to be embarrassed about."
"You want to talk embarrassing?" Casey asked, "As thin as those walls were, you never heard anything so obscene in your life! I didn't know what to do! I was ready to call in a false alarm just so Engine could turn the hose on those people!"
Kelly laughed. "So you gonna see her again?"
Casey turned on his side to face away from Severide, but he answered, "I'd like to...we had a good time, until that happened anyway."
Severide just grinned as he imagined his friend's discomfort.
"I'm proud of you, Casey," he told him, "you got through your date, spent the night with her in a hotel room, and did it all without any problems."
"Almost no problems, I was just about to hit the ceiling if they didn't shut up next door," Casey said.
Kelly laughed so hard he doubled over and pressed his head into Casey's back.
"I am proud of you, buddy," he told Matt, "that was a big hurdle you cleared."
Casey sighed and hit his head against the pillows, "I suppose so...my life still isn't normal, but I think I can deal with it."
2 months later-
Casey walked through the corridor at Chicago Med. He'd talked to Maggie and gotten the room number of the patient he wanted. He'd seen the family out in the waiting room, who so far had been denied any visits. He approached the room and through the glass walls he saw her lying in the hospital bed, not really asleep but looking like she was. Her name, Casey found out when he stopped by the hospital for an update, was Shawna Baxter, she was 16 years old, she barely looked 12.
They'd responded to a building fire yesterday on shift, they swept the floors and evacuated anybody they found and carried out anybody who couldn't make it on their own. Casey had kicked in one door and found a middle aged man on the floor half conscious, and he'd radioed for the paramedics to bring up a stair chair so they could get him out of there. Then, amidst the roar of the flames close by, he'd heard something. It sounded like someone else was in the room, the smoke was starting to get thick but he didn't see anybody. He went through the apartment room by room, and finally reached the back bedroom, there was no sign of anybody, he hadn't even noticed that the fire was getting closer. Finally he heard somebody enter the apartment and turned to see Severide heading towards him.
"Casey!" he went over to the Truck lieutenant, "this whole place is gonna come down soon, we gotta get out!"
"There's someone else here!" Casey told him.
Severide looked around, "Where?"
That's what he didn't know, and he hated to admit it. But he refused to admit that he was just hearing things or he was going crazy. Casey went over to the closet and opened it. There was hardly anything in it, but he found himself staring at the back wall for some reason.
"What is it?" Kelly's voice interrupted his thoughts.
Working in construction, Casey had some experience with putting up walls, and he couldn't put his finger on what it was, but there was something about the wall in the back of the closet that wasn't right. He kicked it with his boot and the plaster broke away.
"It's a fake wall!" he realized, and made a couple more holes to pull it open.
Severide helped him move it, and both were stunned beyond words at what they saw.
She'd been tied at the wrists and was hanging from a chain suspended from the ceiling, her feet barely even touched the ground. Blood that had long since dried covered the bottom of her dress and trailed down her legs where it congealed, her long brown hair was a matted mess, she was covered in dirt and looked like it had been months since she'd been clean, and weeks since she'd eaten or been out in the sunlight. She was barely conscious but somehow she weakly murmured, seemingly unaware of the firemen's presence, "Help me...please, help me..."
Severide recovered from his shock and radioed for a C-collar and a backboard, while Casey went over to the girl and untied her wrists from the chain and eased her down.
Somewhere above them it sounded like something exploded, and before Boden's voice came through the radios for everyone to evacuate they already knew they couldn't stay there any longer and had to get the hell out. Casey took two steps towards the bed, ripped off the comforter, draped it around the girl who was no longer responsive, then bent down and slung her over his shoulders, there was almost nothing to her, grabbed her wrists and feet and told Severide, "Let's get the hell out!"
They reached the hall just as the EMTs were getting ready to carry the man down, in passing Casey raised his leg as best he could in his turnout gear and kicked the man as hard as he could, saying only, "Son of a bitch!" One look at the girl he was carrying down removed the need for any questions the paramedics may have had about what just happened.
Everybody got out in close proximity to each other, Casey walked over to a waiting backboard and Severide helped him lower the girl onto it, who was collared, put on oxygen, and loaded into an ambulance.
"How'd you know she was there?" Kelly asked him as they got their masks off.
"I heard her calling for help," Casey answered.
Kelly shook his head, "No way you could've heard that 2 rooms away through a wall."
"But I heard her," Casey insisted.
They'd stayed on the scene to contain the fire and they didn't get back to the station until 2 hours later. From there the calls kept pouring in all day, it was only after shift change when everybody went home that it occurred to Casey to stop in at Med and see if he could find out anything about the girl's condition.
Today she looked different than when they'd found her. She'd been cleaned up, put on an IV for fluids, somehow someone had been able to get the knots out of her hair without resorting to cutting it all off, it was hard to believe it was the same girl.
Casey cleared his throat, "Shawna..."
The girl opened her eyes quickly and glared at him, she didn't say anything at first, then she told him, "Go away, I'm not talking to any shrinks," and turned away from him.
That took him a bit by surprise, but he recovered and told her, "I'm not a shrink, I'm one of the firefighters that found you."
"That's even worse," she snapped, "just go away and leave me alone, I want to die!"
Casey found himself nodding, even though she couldn't see it. "I know...I know what it's like."
The teenage girl shrieked in anger as she turned over to face him and demanded to know, "What the hell would you know?"
"Actually, a lot, the same thing that happened to you happened to me."
She blinked, "What?"
"In fact..." Casey looked around the room, "I can't be sure, but I think they even put me in this same bed."
The girl looked at him curiously, "You mean you..."
Casey nodded, "Some guy I'd never seen before sneaked up behind me, bashed my head in, next thing I knew, I woke up in a hotel tied to the bed...three days later I was finally pulled out, by the same firefighters I work with."
"Oh God," she groaned as that mental image occurred to her.
"Yeah, wanting to die definitely sums it up," Casey replied sympathetically.
She didn't know how to respond to that, for a minute she sat up in bed with her knees against her chest, and she asked him, "Are my parents still out there?"
"Yeah, they're waiting to see you," Casey answered.
Shawna started crying hysterically as she said, "I can't see them...I can't tell them what happened, they'll never believe me."
"The fact that they're here and waiting to see you, says to me that they love you very much and they just want to make sure you're alright," Casey told her.
The girl looked up at the ceiling and shook her head. "They'll never believe it wasn't my fault. It wasn't."
"I know," Casey said.
She wouldn't look at him, but he could see her eyes turning red and welling up with tears as she explained, "I was on a date, and we got into a fight, and he threw me out of the car...then this guy comes up in a van and offers me a ride...I told him I was fine...but he grabbed me...I tried to get out but the door was locked. I tried to escape but I couldn't."
Matt nodded sympathetically.
"I don't know how long I was in there," she told him, "I thought I was going to die there...I wish I did, then nobody would know."
"I understand that," Casey said, "but let me ask you a question. Do you get along with your family?"
"Usually," she said.
"Any problems at home?"
She thought about it for a few seconds, then shook her head. "Not really."
"Well, what I saw out there was a group of people who are worried about you, who are anxious to see you. I can tell you from personal experience, recovery from this is hard, but if you have a great family that loves you who can help you, it can be done...and it's worth it. There are a lot of days it doesn't seem like it, but you were strong enough to survive your attack, you're definitely strong enough to heal from it."
She looked at him with a tear rolling down one cheek and she asked, "What if it's not worth it? Nothing's ever going to be the same."
"No, you're right, it isn't...and I know it sounds strange, but that's not always a bad thing."
She scoffed and asked hysterically, "What good could possibly come from something like this?"
"I don't know I'd necessarily call it 'good', but it's a little easier when somebody else can understand what you're going through...it doesn't quite feel like you're all alone in this," Casey said.
She looked at him inquisitively through the corner of one eye.
"The only advice I can give you is to be patient, with your family, and yourself...if you ever want to talk...here's my card."
Shawna took it, and squinted her eyes at the name, "Casey Construction?"
"Yeah," he replied, "us firemen have to have something to do on our off days."
She turned her head and looked up at him with both eyes and she said in a low voice, "Thank you for saving me."
"No need to thank me, it's what we do," he said.
She looked at him uncertainly and tried to speak, "C-c-can I hug you?"
Her question took him by surprise but Casey smiled, "Sure."
He leaned over the bed and felt her arms lock behind his back, it was amazing what a couple days of fluids and food could do to restore a person's strength.
"You're going to be okay," he told her as he pulled back. "Though another word of advice, if you see a therapist, you will hate it, every day, and that's precisely why you have to do it. Trust me, the only reason I went back after the first time is my best friend forced me. For the longest time I hated both of them for it, but it turned out to be worth it."
The teen girl nodded and told him again, "Thank you."
Kelly stood leaning against the wall a few feet from the room and watched as Casey came out the door and closed it behind him. He got out of the range of vision of the see-through glass walls before he raised a hand to his face.
"You okay?" Kelly asked.
Casey didn't seem surprised to see him. He wiped away the few tears that had worked their way loose, swallowed the lump that was growing in his throat and nodded and got out a choked, "Yeah, fine."
"How's she?" Severide asked.
"Doing alright," Casey answered. He sniffed and said, "She's got a long road ahead of her, but I think she'll be fine."
Kelly pulled Matt into a hug and clapped both hands on his back, he felt Casey do the same. Then Casey pulled back and told Severide, "Thank you for everything you did to help me. I would've died in that fire if it hadn't been for Tony and Capp, but I don't think I could've gotten this far if it hadn't been for you."
"Anytime, buddy. Come on, let's go home."