A Fresh Start
Chapter One Hundred Ninety Nine
Jeffrey slowly opens the door to the loft. Closing it quietly, he walks into the living room. Sam is on the couch asleep. He can't tell what state of mind she was in when she went to sleep, but he assumes that she was still mad at him. Sitting down in the chair beside her, he watches her sleep.
About thirty minutes later, she wakes up. The first think she notices is Jeffrey sitting in the chair beside her. "I seem to be apologizing to you a lot lately." He says, as she sits up. "I panicked when the officer told you were with Alan."
"Why would you panic? Alan has no reason to come after me."
"He's desperate Sam and he's cornered. He knows he's going to prison and he's willing to do anything to keep that from happening." Sam starts to say something but he hold up his hand. "I don't want to argue about that. I went to see Beau after you left the station. He pointed out that I didn't give you the chance to explain why you were there. I know you tried, but I was only focused on the possible danger you could have been in."
She looks at him for a moment before she says. "Alan couldn't've done anything to me while I was in the jail, but I shouldn't've gone to the jail with the man he sent for me. And maybe that was what freaked you out so much."
"I will admit I was surprised that you went with him."
"I wasn't going to, but then I realized that it might be an opportunity to find out what he was thinking or planning."
"And I refused to listen when you tried to tell me." He looks at her. "I'll listen if you want to tell me now."
"It wasn't very thought out or clever. He wanted to see me because he wanted to ask me if I would speak to you about you speaking to the judge about his sentencing."
"What did he think...? I mean why did he think that would help his case. "He said something about you being in love with me and willing to do anything for me."
"I would do anything for you. That doesn't mean I would let him out of jail, and you wouldn't've asked me anyway."
"That's what I told him."
"What did he offer you?" Jeffrey asks, getting up and sitting down beside her.
"I was getting to that part when you came in. But I did tell him that he had nothing I needed."
Nodding, he hold hand out. Taking it, she moves over to him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you and I'm sorry I didn't listen when you tried to tell why you went to see him."
"Maybe I should remember that you only want to protect me. Although, I think there was more to your reaction than being afraid Alan would hurt me. Maybe you thought he would talk me into doing something for him."
"No, no, I never thought that. I knew Alan would do something to try and get out of jail and I had the thought that he might try to contact you." He says, as she sits back.
"Why would you think he would try to contact me? I don't know him, so..."
"That's exactly why I thought he would try to contact you. You don't know him and you don't know everything he's done. And I thought he would think he could convince you to help him, knowing that you don't know who he is."
"But I told that I do know who he is. I lived with someone like him for eighteen years."
"Alan is much more than your father. Your father never broke the law."
"My father never broke man made law, but he broke God's law and moral law."
"He loved you Sam. You know that he did."
She looks at him and then moves into his arms. "If he loved me he has a funny way of showing it." Putting his arm around her, he pulls her closer to him.
Cassie walks into the farm house. Putting her purse on the counter. She walks through the house to Richard's office. He's not at his desk. She looks around the room and then turns to go upstairs. When she doesn't find him upstairs, she goes outside to the barn. She walks into the tack room first before she walks towards the back of the barn where the horses are kept. She notices that the back gate is open and Lady Tammy's stall is empty. Sighing, she turns and goes back to the house.
A couple of hours later, Richard walks into the house as Cassie's at the sink. "You're home." He says, closing the door.
"Yes, I've been home for a couple of hours."
"I thought you had stuff to do at the Beacon."
"Reva's taking care of the Beacon, so I came home."
"You've could've stayed Cassie, I'm fine."
"You're not fine. You're hurt and the stiff upper lip isn't necessary with me. I'm your wife."
He looks at her and then slips his arms around her, pulling her back against him. "Her rejection hurt, but I will learn to live with it."
"You shouldn't have to live with it."
He smiles and then softly kisses the side of her neck. "I feel better knowing that you want to defend me."
"I will always defend you, right or wrong. And in this case you're right." She says, turning in his arms.
"Where are the boys?"
"I called Harley and asked if they could stay over another night."
"I will be fine."
"Yes, you will, but we can have this evening to ourselves."
"Did you have something specific in mind?"
"I was thinking we could talk, but I think you want something else."
"Well, we can talk, if that want you want." He says, leaning into kiss her.
"She leans into him, reaching up. He pulls closer. "So I guess you don't want to talk." He mumbles, nibbling on her lower lip.
Warm swells of desire flows through her. Reaching up with her other arm as he bends his knees, he sweeps her up into his arms. Turning for the stairs, He breaks the kiss. "I guess we're going upstairs."
"You knew that all along." She whispers, laying her head on his shoulder. He chuckles softly, turning his head to kiss her forehead. "You know in a few months you won't be able to do this."
"Do what?"
"Carry me, you won't be able to carry me anywhere."
"I will always carry you anywhere you want to go.'
"In a few months, I'll be too heavy to carry." She says, as he walks into their bedroom.
He stops by the bed. "If you weighed a thousand pounds and you needed me, I would find a way to carry you."
"My he-man." She says, leaning in to kiss him. When he's certain that she focused on him, he drops her in the middle of the bed. Letting out a squeal of surprise, she scrambles to sit up as he leans over her laughing. "I can't believe you just did that."
"I have to keep you on your toes."
"I'll make you think you have to keep me on my toes." She says, reaching for him.
"Have you stopped worrying about me?"
She looks at him for a moment and then leans in to kiss him as she lays back. He follows her, laying down beside her. They kiss for a moment and then he leans back. Their gazes lock. Propping his head against his hand, he slowly moves his gaze over her face. "Do you know what I see when I look at you?"
"An angel."
"No, I don't see an angel."
"You don't see an angel."
"You're an angel, yes, but that's not what I see when I look at you. I see everything I wanted for my life. If my brother's widow wants to keep me out of her and the life of her children. I will learn to live with it. My life was planned for me before I was able to make any decisions about my own life. I didn't even get to chose whether I knew my mother and brother. Now I don't' even get to chose whether I am allowed to know my brother's family, but I can choose whether I let it control my life."
"So, you don't want me to worry about you."
"I know you're going to worry, but I will be fine."
"Where did you find this new insight?"
"I went for a ride with Lady Tammy. And I talked to her, like I used to talk with Tammy. And I realized that I have a full family whether my brother's wife wants me to be apart of their life or not."
"I don't' think you should give up on her."
"I'm not going to press her. I'm sure that finding out that her husband had a brother they knew nothing about was surprising and overwhelming to say the least."
"She shut you down without giving you a chance. You deserve better than that. Nothing that happened between your mother and father, or the things that happened before, after, and during the stuff with San Cristobel was not your fault. She refused to see that."
"She was the right to be scared. She lost her family because of the things that happened within my family."
"Why are you defending her? She dismissed you."
"It's understandable, Cassie."
"Understandable or not, you deserve to know your family."
"That's exactly what I'm saying. I do know my family. I can't directly be apart of her life but that doesn't mean I can't monitor their lives. She's family, so I'll be there if she needs me, but I'm not going to press myself into her life."
"I don't understand how you can be so accepting."
"Maybe it's the training. I understand how she feels and the decisions my father made has ruined enough peoples lives, including my own."
"I think you need to stand up for yourself and the fact that none of this was your fault."
"I'm not running away. I want to know her and their kids. I want to know about my mother and my brother, but sometimes you have to accept someones decision, no matter what you may want."
Turning, she kisses him. "I love you for every way you car. I want to protect you. I know that everything that happened in San Cristobel hurt you deeply. You didn't just loos a title and a palace, you lost your whole world, everything that was familiar to you changed when you discovered that letter. You spent months dodging Edmund."
"We both spent months dodging Edmund."
"The point I am making is that your world was turned upside down and yet you still managed to save me and your country, only to loose them again because of decisions made by other people and during the whole thing you never complained. You never screamed, cried, shook your fists and jumped up and down at the unfairness of it all. You never forced your will on San Cristobel like Edmund did. When you found out about William..."
"I didn't want to tell him the truth, if you remember. I was willing to send him to sea with Camille."
"To protect our family from exactly what happened. You lost everything Richard, just like your brother's wife did, but you never unfairly attacked someone because of it and that's the difference between you and her."
"She's hurting."
"And you're not." He looks at her and then rolls over onto his back. She lays there watching him before she moves closer to him. "I'm sorry."
He looks at her, surprised. "You're sorry, for what?"
"I ruined the mood."
He turns back to his side. "You did not ruin anything. I started the conversation. And I understand how you feel and I understand how she feels."
"And how do you feel? Forget your training and be completely selfish and tell me how you feel?"
He looks at her for a moment before he answers. "I want to know them. I want to be apart of their lives. Iw ant my niece and nephews to know me. I want to teach them all the things I didn't get to teach Tammy, and all the things their father didn't get the chance to teach them. I want them to know RJ, Will and this baby. I want you and her to talk, like ladies talk. I want to know things that I can tell our grandchildren about their grandma, because we both know there isn't much that I can tell them about my father."
"So, what are you going to do?"
"I don't know." He says, rolling to his back again. She moves over to him, laying her head on his chest as he puts his arm around her, holding her close.
Julie is at Al's diner for lunch when her mom comes in and sits down at her table. "I tried to call you last night."
"I was busy with the kids."
"Have you heard from Matt's brother?"
"Yes."
"And, what happened?"
"I have decided not to allow him to contact the children or me."
"You decided not to allow him to contact you or the children."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I don't believe it would benefit us."
"You don't believe it would benefit you."
"Are you mimicking me?"
"He's Matt's brother. How could that not benefit you."
"It's my decision to make, and I've made it."
"You want to punish him for surviving. He was a victim just as Matt was."
"He's the reason Matt's dead. I'm not going to discuss this now or here." Julie says, getting up.
Her mom follows her. "Punishing them will not bring him back."
"I'm not talking about this now." Julie says, walking away from the table with her trash. She throws it away and then leaves with her mom following her.
"Where are the kids?"
"They are spending the night with friends."
"And you're going to sit at home and look at pictures of Matt."
"Actually, I'm not. I'm still unpacking and I have stuff that I need to work on for work." Julie says, walking to her car.
"Pretending he doesn't exist will not work. He's Matt's brother. Your kids deserve to know..."
"My kids are fine. I will talk to you later." She says, getting into her car and leaving.
Richard and Cassie are still laying on the bed when he moves to get up. "Where are you going?"
"I've got to got to the bathroom." He replies, walking into the bathroom. A few minutes later, he comes back out. "Let's go."
"Where are we going?"
"For a drive." He says, coming over to the bed.
She sits up and then he takes her hand helping her off the bed. He turns for the door and they leave a few minutes later."
"Where are we going to go?"
"Oakdale." Richard says, pulling out onto the highway.
"Oakdale, do you know where to find her?"
"No, but it's a small town and she grew up there. I'm sure someone will know where she lives."
About a half hour later, Richard stops at a gas station to get gas. When he goes inside to pay, he asks the clerk. "Do you know a Julie Winslow?"
A lady in the store says. "My god, you look just like Matt. You could be his twin."
"I am his twin. Did you know my brother?"
"I went to school with them. I don't know where Julie is living now, but I did hear that she was back in town."
"Doe she still have family in town?"
"Her mom and sister still live here."
"Do you know where I can find them?"
"Her sister lives on Maple Street and her mom still lives out of town, going to Laurel Falls. It's about five miles out of town, on the right side of the road. It's a wood and brick two story house."
"Thank you." Richard says, holding out his hand. He shakes the woman's hand and then walks out of the station.
When he gets back in the car, Cassie asks. "Did you ask about her?"
"Yes." He replies, starting the car.
"Did anyone know where she lives?"
"No, but that lady told me where her mother lives." Richard says, pulling away from the pump.
"Are you going...?"
"Which way is it for Laurel Falls, from here?"
"She lives in Laurel Falls."
"No, she lives about five miles outside Oakdale, on the way to Laurel Falls. So, which way is it?"
"Laurel Falls is north, so turn left and lot back to the main light and then turn left at the light."
Richard follows her directions and about ten minutes later they pull up to a house. Richard puts the car in park. After a few minutes, Cassie asks. "Are you going to go in?"
"Do you think we should do this?"
"Going in there, is up to you." She says, taking his hand.
He looks at her and then taking a deep breath before he opens the door. Releasing his hand, Cassie opens her door and they both get out, closing their doors behind them. Richard starts for the front door as Cassie slips her hand into his. He looks down as they walk up the steps of the porch. When they reach the door, he takes another deep breath and then raises his hand to knock. A couple moments later, the door opens. "Yes, may I..." The woman on the other side stares at Richard.
"I'm sorry to..."
"Matt!"
"No, I'm not Matt. I'm his brother, Richard." Richard says.
"You look... you look exactly like him."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your evening and we won't take up a lot of your time." Richard says. "This is my wife Cassie. Do you mind if we come in?"
"No, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't come in." Maggie says, stepping back from the door. "My name is Maggie."
They walk in and she closes the door behind them. "I'm Richard and this is my wife Cassie."
"It's a pleasure to meet both of you." Maggie says, holding out her hand.
"Thank you. I don't really know why I came tonight. I wanted to find Matt's wife, but I have no idea where she lives. Only that she lives somewhere in Oakdale."
"Why don't you come into the living room." She says, walking past them. They follow her. "Why don't you have a seat?" She says, indicating the couch behind them as she sits down in a chair. "Now, why don't you start from the beginning."
"I had lunch... we had lunch with Julie yesterday at the Lakeview and we talked, but it didn't go well and she did something that I wasn't expecting."
"She told you that she didn't want to see you, right?"
"Well yes, I know it's upsetting to see me after Matt was killed because of what happened."
"From what I can understand from the agents that came to see Julie about you, what happened to you and to Matt was not your fault. From what the agents said, there was a woman that wanted to hurt your wife by killing you."
"That's pretty much what happened. There were other things that happened before Camille came into the picture that I believe influenced your daughter's decision."
"None of which, you put into place, is that correct?"
"No, most of what happened before Camille came into the picture was put into motion by my father, starting with taking me from my mother and raising me as his heir. That decision put everything else into motion."
"And none of which you could control."
"No, I couldn't've controlled what happened." There are a few moments of silence before Richard says. "I understand why you're daughter is upset."
"She's not upset, well she's surprised but she also wants to punish you because you survived and Matt didn't. Her life has not been easy since Matt was killed due mostly to her own decisions. But I think she's furious at Matt for leaving her and she probably sees this as a way to punish both you and him."
"I can understand that, in the first few months after I thought Richard was dead I wanted to punish him for leaving me, but I couldn't because I believed he was dead, and that would infuriate me even more. I can't imagine that anger being there and having no way of releasing it." Cassie says.
"Julie ran away when Matt died. She started dating a man within months of Matt's death. A man she's recently divorced. That may also be part of the reason she's not allowing you to be a part of her life. I think she knows she made a mistake but she can't let herself admit that it was because she was running from Matt's death."
"Is there anyway I can make her understand?"
"Julie is a stubborn woman. She was a stubborn child. But I think eventually she will understand that punishing you will not bring Matt back."
"And until then?" Cassie asks.
"I don't know what to tell you. She's fixed on this. I tried to talk to her this afternoon but she shut me down fast."
"Thank you for your time." Richard says, standing up.
"Did she give you anything that was Matt's?"
"No."
"If you'll wait, I can see if I have anything around here that was his." She says, getting up. She leaves the room, returning a few moments later. "I couldn't find any of his stuff, but I did find these. They are a few pictures that Julie left here when she moved out." She says, handing him the pictures.
Richard takes them. Looking down, it's like looking into a mirror. The man looking back at him looks exactly like Richard does, but he's more... Richard can't pinpoint the difference between them. Cassie looks over his arm, looking at the man that looks exactly like her husband. The difference she sees is that Matt has an American look about him where Richard still looked as though he was from San Cristobel. It was simply a matter of the fact that Richard hadn't learned to relax into his American surroundings yet.
Richard flips the picture over and behind it is a picture of Matt with an older woman. She had golden green eyes, with white hair. She is small and there were lines across her face, but it was clear that when she was younger she would have been a very beautiful woman. "Is this my...?" Richard turns the picture around so that Maggie can see it.
"That was your mother Madeline. It was taken about three months before the accident and about six months before she died."
"So, it was the last picture she took?"
"Yes. It was Morgan's birthday party."
"So, he had just turned eight when Matt died."
"Yes. I have pictures of them as well." Maggie says, turning to leave the room. She returns with three pictures and she hands them to Richard.
He looks at each of the kids and he can see both of their parents in them. "Thank you for these. I hope this doesn't cause problems between you and your daughter."
"I'll handle my daughter. You deserve to know who your family are. Your mother was well liked around Oakdale as was Matt. Most of the town came to both of their funerals. And some of the city's father's opened trusts for all of Matt's kids. He was a good and honorable man."
"Thank you." Richard says, holding out his hand. "I think it's time that we go. I don't want to cause you problems, and you've answered some of the questions that were nagging me after speaking with your daughter."
"I'm glad I can be of help. And I think if you give Julie time to process everything, she'll realize that you had no fault in what happened to Matt."
"Thank you again." Richard says, shaking her hand. She opens the door and they walk out. She stands at the door as they cross the yard and Richard opens Cassie's door before getting in himself. Starting the car, he backs out of the driveway as Maggie closes the door.
Josh is in the den at Cross Creek. He didn't have much to do since Reva moved into the Beacon. He's looking out at the back lawn when Jasmine enters his thought. He hadn't thought about her since their lunch. Reaching for the phone, he dials Harley's number. After a couple rings, she picks up. "Hello."
"Harley, it's Josh."
"Josh, hi, I'm surprised to hear from you."
"I need you to look into something for me. Actually I need you to find out some information about a woman and her son."
"Okay."
"Her name is Jasmine Richard-Valencia. She's recently widowed I believe but I'm not sure. She has a son Dorian Valencia."
"DJ Valencia, the owner of the youth center on the south side of town."
"Yes."
"How do you know them?"
"I've spoken with Mrs. Valencia a few times around town as well as her son."
"So, what do you want me to find out?"
"I'm concerned for her. She's having problems with her son."
"And what exactly does that have to do with you?"
"I've had a few arguments with her son, usually when he's found me talking to his mother. From what she told me the other day, her husband was sick for while. Dorian went to see if he could donate his kidney for his father. The doctors ran the tests and discovered that Dorian wasn't his father's son. Dorian confronted his mother and she admitted that it was true. After his father died Dorian left. She finally tracked him down here."
"So, what exactly do you want me to find out?"
"I don't know. But I feel like there is something that she's not telling me."
"Why don't you ask her?"
"I have and she sidesteps the question."
"I've got to work today. When did you want me to start on this?"
"Umm, as soon as possible."
"Alright, I'll do some digging and see if I can find anything more out."
"Thank you, Harley."
"You're welcome. Have you talked to Reva?"
"Not for a few days."
"Don't you think you should at least talk to her?"
"My position hasn't changed, and I'm assuming that neither has hers since she's still at the Beacon."
"And have you thought about what this is doing to both of you?"
"I didn't ask her to leave Harley. She left on her own?"
"From what I hear from her and Cassie, she left after you refused to consider that maybe Jeffrey should be apart of your family."
"I have my reasons for what I believe."
"Yes, Cassie explained that to me. You don't want Jeffrey in the family because you're afraid that Reva will leave you to be with Jeffrey. How has that strategy worked out for you?"
"Reva, moved out, I didn't. I didn't ask her. I didn't tell to. She moved out on her own."
"So, you're not going to talk to her because she moved out."
"I will be happy to talk to her when she sees reason."
"You mean when she sees your reasoning. Josh, I'm going to go before I say something that will upset both of us. I'll look into the other matter."
"Thank you, Harley." Josh hangs up and then goes back to staring out the window at the backyard.