Chapter Specific Warnings: Mild Sexual Content
Chapter Notes: Okay, I said last chapter was one of my favorites, but this chapter is my favorite that I have written for this story. I want to thank daveyjacobsthepotterhead for all of her counciling and editing on this chapter, since it was going to end up much longer and we were able to turn it into something even better than I could have imagined. Thanks to princesse-swan as well for the amazing artwork that she made to accompany this story. It is even better than I could have hoped for. Enjoy, and don't hate me for the cliffhanger!
Chapter 8Emma and Killian were lounging in one of the upper levels of the library, his head in her lap as she sat one of the couches. They both still liked retreating to the library to get some alone time away from their friends. Killian was reading her copy of 'Where the Sidewalk Ends' that he had borrowed a few days ago, while she was sketching in one of her books. She pursed her lips, working to try and get the lines right.
Things had changed between them in the last few weeks ever since the circus night. While they had never truly sat down and had the ever important 'Define The Relationship' talk that most people stressed over, they had eventually just moved into that significant other relationship stage.
They spent more time together than with their friends, didn't bother correcting anyone when they referred to them as boyfriend and girlfriend, and they just kind of slid into the title.
Not that Emma minded, she liked having something to call him that implied that he was hers.
And she didn't mind being his either.
They were still taking things relatively slow, it never having grown as intense as that night in the tunnels since, but she was surprised how comfortable she was with him.
She hadn't been comfortable around men, besides David, since the incident, and seeing how far she had come with Killian made her hopeful that the day would come when she wouldn't shy away from people unintentionally.
"You want to know something Swan?" Killian asked her, snapping his book shut as he peered up at her.
"What?" She replied, carding her fingers through his hair to push it off his forehead. It had grown longer seemingly overnight to her, he would likely need to get it cut soon.
"I haven't taken you out on that proper date yet." He said.
Emma thought back on that. What he said was true. Besides that one night at the circus, they hadn't gone out on anything that could formally be considered a date.
Sure, they hung out all the time and got meals at the dining hall on campus, but not many people would constitute that as a date.
Killian smiled up at her as he watched the thoughts flit across her face.
"Okay, I'm game. What did you have in mind?" She asked, looking forward to the evening. If it was anything like how the circus went, she was in for a good night.
"How about you let me plan the evening love. I'm sure I can scrounge something up to live up to those high expectations of yours." He suggested.
Emma laughed in response to that. "Do your worst Killian."
"You looked like you were deep in thought up there for a minute before I interrupted you, what were you thinking about Love?" He asked.
She cringed internally. There were still things about her past that she wasn't entirely comfortable telling him about. She picked what she thought would be safe.
"Us. How things have changed over the last few weeks. That night in the alcoves." She said, looking down at him.
Killian grinned up at her sinfully. "Really, hmm." He said before pushing up to kiss her.
Emma smiled into the kiss, she would never be able to get enough of his kisses.
When he broke away from her, he leaned over to snatch up her book, curious as to what she had been drawing.
Killian barked a laugh when he saw it, looking at her with something like love shining in his eyes.
On the page staring back at them was a sketch of two figures tucked into a corner, a larger figure pressing a smaller body back into the wall, locked in a passionate embrace.
o.O.o
"I can't believe you guys are going out tonight, right as we are all leaving campus for holiday breaks. Totally not cool Emma." Ruby admonished from her place on Emma's bed.
Emma had invited both of her girlfriends over to help her try and figure out what she was going to wear for the night. Killian hadn't given much away as to what his plans were for the evening, just to dress for a nice dinner on campus.
There weren't that many nice dining places on campus, so Emma was fairly certain he was going to bring her to either the Italian restaurant or the Mexican place right between the upper and lower campuses. Even though they couldn't technically leave the campus to go out somewhere actually upscale and nice, it was still something different than eating lunch together at the dining hall on campus.
"Oh, leave her alone about it Ruby. It's likely so she doesn't have to deal with anyone hounding her about her evening for a while," Mary Margaret said, throwing a stern look over at Ruby when she said 'hounding'.
"Hey now, while I appreciate the canine related word play, I never said that I would get all over Emma's case about every detail of what happened on her evening out. Nope, wasn't insinuating that at all." Ruby said sarcastically, rolling her eyes dramatically at Emma through the mirror.
While She and Ruby had never been the closest of friends, Emma had always been a bit closer to Mary Margaret, something in their friendship had changed after the circus.
The morning after that night, instead of bugging Emma how her night had been; because Ruby knew that she had stayed with Killian for the night, Ruby just smiled at her and continued on with the conversations that she was having with Mary Margaret. Emma was surprised, but at the same time thankful. That night meant something to her, more than she initially realized, and she was glad that her friends weren't traumatizing her about it.
"Okay, what do you guys think of this one?" She asked, turning around to hold up a red dress against her body.
Ruby let out a low whistle. "Damn, you would look so hot in that one Ems."
Emma flushed in response.
"I'm just saying, maybe you should wear something a little more toned down. I don't think you are trying to get laid tonight, right?" Ruby asked.
Ruby was right, but there were painfully few nice dresses in her wardrobe that she could wear out on a colder night. Emma groaned and hung it up on the rack.
"Why is this so difficult?!" She yelled, turning away from her closet and slumping back on the bed between the two of them.
"Maybe it is because this is something more than just a casual hang out with Killian," Mary Margaret said quietly next to her, "This is your first real date with him, right?"
"By his crazy standards, yes," Emma said. She still considered that night at the circus to be their first date. It was her first date at least.
"See, maybe because you are putting all of this pressure on the evening, it is stressing you out more than it would normally would." Ruby said. "Try and relax. What would you like to wear for the evening?"
"If I knew I could get away with it, I would probably go out in leggings and a t-shirt." Emma grumbled. She knew Killian well enough to know that he had something over the top planned.
"Okay, but what do you think you can be comfortable in for the night? Forget about the weather and everything, what would you be truly comfortable in?" Ruby said, trying to put her at ease.
With those words in her head, Emma glanced back at her closet. She was putting a good bit of stress on the fact that she was worried about being cold for the evening. There was a dress in the back of her closet that she had been itching to wear for a while, but had never found the right occasion.
She walked over and dug through, finding the knee length pink dress tucked in with a bunch of other clothes she hadn't worn for a while.
"Oh, Emma! It's perfect," Mary Margaret gushed, placing her hands against her cheek.
"Yeah Emma, Killian won't know what hit him!" Ruby said, smiling at her.
Emma smiled back, turning to hold the dress up to her body in the mirror. Things were starting to look up.
o.O.o
After Mary Margaret and Ruby left to go and pack for school break, Emma sat down and got to work on her hair and makeup. She still had a bit of time before Killian was supposed to be picking her up, but she just wanted everything to be perfect.
She looked over next to her mirror and smiled softly at the purple teddy bear sitting there.
Initially after the circus, she had thought she lost the keepsake, forgetting it back in the grandstands when her and Killian had run off to go exploring. When she returned to her room the following morning, however, the bear was sitting there outside of her door, with a card attached.
Surprisingly, it was from the fire-wielder at the show, repeating his words to her from during his performance. She was so touched by the fact that the gentleman had noticed that she lost her token from Killian and went through all the effort to track her down and return it that she teared up a bit.
It was a great reminder of that night, and that there was a place out there for someone with her abilities, even if it wasn't what she had initially thought it would be.
Sticking the last of the pins up in her hair, she gave herself a final once over before moving to slip into her dress.
Once she had the back zipped up, she did a check once again in the full length mirror on the back of her door. Smoothing her hands down her skirt, she honestly felt a little silly for a moment.
She never dressed up for anything, let alone anything this nice, and the blush dress with the flowing skirt and heels were hardly something that she would consider her style.
A loud knock on the door broke her out of her thoughts and she smiled, he always did have the best timing.
Opening the door, she took a step back to admire what Killian was wearing for the night. Dark-washed blue jeans with a dark blue shirt under a silk waistcoat and leather jacket to finish up the ensemble. It looked like he had even trimmed his hair for the night.
"Like what you see darling?" Killian asked, raising a signature eyebrow at her.
Emma snorted a laugh, "Like you don't already know the answer to your question."
Killian took his hand out from behind his back and extended a single rose to her. "For you Love."
She took it from him, giving him a peck on the lips in thanks, and turned around to put it in a small vase she had in her room. After giving her room one quick look over to make sure everything was turned off, she grabbed her clutch and keys and took his offered hand.
Thankfully as they walked across campus in the direction of the Italian restaurant, it was still sunny out, holding off the chill of the night. She had left her coat back in her room on purpose, hoping to snag Killian's jacket again at some point during the night.
Emma let go of his hand only long enough for Killian to open the door for her, taking his hand once again as they entered the warmth of the restaurant.
"Jones, reservation for two," He said to the hostess. She nodded as she grabbed two of the menus, gesturing for them to follow her into the seating area. Most of the staff on campus at the restaurants and such were people who didn't live or go to school on the campus, so they were able to be open during the breaks when most people left.
Some of them possibly could have been former high risk students that lived in the community near the campus, as this was one of the few places in the country that they were allowed to work.
As the waitress stopped at their table, Killian moved in front of Emma and pulled her chair out, waiting for her to sit down before moving to take his own seat across from her. The hostess handed them both menus and listed the drink specials for the night before letting them know their waitress would be with them shortly.
Emma flipped open her menu and began looking through her options.
"Do you want anything to drink tonight Love? My treat." Killian said.
Emma looked up at him over her menu. "No thanks, maybe not tonight."
"What, worried you will find me even more irresistible after a few libations?" Killian asked, tucking his tongue in his cheek and grinning at her saucily.
Emma laughed. "No silly, that isn't what I meant at all."
"Just one drink Emma. I know you don't particularly care for alcohol, and I don't want you to be forced into drinking something, but a glass of wine is essential to any Italian meal." Killian said, leaning over and taking her hand in his.
Emma really couldn't say no him. "Fine, ONE glass."
Their waitress finally arrived, taking down the order for a glass of wine for each of them and glasses of water. The waitress left to give them a few more minutes to look over the menu.
"What are you thinking about getting tonight Swan?" Killian asked, flipping through his own menu.
"I was thinking of having the chicken alfredo, but there really isn't anything on this menu that you could go wrong with," She said.
"Eat here often?" He asked.
"Mary Margaret, Ruby and I alternated girls night once a month between here and the mexican restaurant down by lower campus. So over about 3 years, you get to know a menu pretty well. I think between the three of us we have tried everything on the menu." She said, chuckling a bit as she thought back on those nights. Her friends always knew how to have a good time out.
"Any recommendations?" Killian asked.
The dinner continued on in much the same manner, the two of them asking questions and bantering answers back and forth. Food and alcohol passed easily between the two of them, and Emma found that one glass of wine turned into three glasses, her and Killian laughing over funny stories about both mutual and different friends.
After they finished sharing a piece of chocolate cake and ice cream for dessert, Killian stood and extended his hand.
"Come on Love, I have somewhere I want to show you."
Emma gladly took his hand, letting him help her up from her seat. As they walked out into the night air, Emma shivered, now thoroughly wishing for her coat.
Killian noticed almost immediately, pulling his hand from her's and shrugging out of his coat and placing it on her shoulders.
"Thanks," She said, grateful for the warmth of the leather.
Killian threw his arm over her shoulders, his hand wrapping around her right shoulder and pulling her into his side.
Emma smiled wrapping her arm around him as well, keeping herself tucked firmly into his side.
"Where are we going?" She asked as he led them in the direction of the science building.
"Somewhere that I like to go when I just want to be alone. It seems that I have taken over your quiet space, so it only seems fair that I show you where I normally go if I want to brood in peace." Killian said as he pulled his ID out and bumped it against the readers on the door.
After the light blinked green, he pulled the door open for her, following her in and guiding her over to the elevators.
"Should I be concerned that this is the start of some horrible horror movie?" Emma joked as they rode the elevator up to the top floor.
"Ha Ha, very funny Swan." Killian drawled. "No, this was something Dr. Hopper showed me a few months ago, not long after I arrived on campus."
The elevator doors opened, revealing a small atrium before another set of double doors. "J.K. Roe Planetarium" was written in fading wording across the glass doors.
Emma opened her mouth and then shut it again, not having words. She followed Killian into the planetarium, continuing up the stairs to the upper levels of the domed building.
Killian flicked a light switch on the side of the room, illuminating a board of controls along the wall. He looked over the controls with a practiced eye, selecting a number of buttons and pressing in a code before looking back over at Emma expectantly.
She looked up in awe as the sliders covering the roof of the building slid open, revealing a cloudless night sky to them.
Killian tugged her hand again, leading her over to a pallet of blankets and pillows that was laid out over the floor under the roof.
Emma smiled as she laid down next to him, staring up at the stars above them.
"Killian, this is amazing." She said. Normally the barrier obscured the stars from them, making them not as clear or in focus as they seemed to be here.
"Dr. Hopper noticed during the first few weeks that I was in his class that I was struggling. I didn't know my place here, and I was still reeling from my discharge from the Navy and relocation here. So he invited me up here to see if this was somewhere I would like to spend some of my time. I just do some simple housekeeping around up here, but he allows me to come in any time I want to just lay out and study the stars."
Emma looked over at him, but he wasn't looking over at her, focused on the stars in front of him. How beautiful he was in that moment struck Emma like a ton of bricks.
That feeling that was sort of like love that had been blooming under her chest over the last few weeks grew warmer, pulling her under.
In that moment, Emma Swan knew she was in love with him.
Killian continued talking, not knowing the revelation that had just occurred next to him. "It reminds me of those nights out at sea with the Navy, when I was out patrolling on deck and could catch a moment to sit and admire the stars." He sighed in what sounded like longing. "The stars are different here, and the barrier doesn't allow us to see them that well, but it helps me remember where I came from. And that me being here doesn't change that."
Killian looked over at her, smiling softly when he saw her looking over at him.
"I don't think I have mentioned it yet tonight, but you look amazing Emma." He said, brushing the back of his gloved hand down her cheek.
Emma blushed not knowing how to respond to the complement. She turned and pointed up at the stars, "Do you know any of the constellations?"
"I would be a poor sailor if I didn't Love," Killian said, chucking a bit. He pointed up towards the sky, "That right there is the North Star. That is essentially your home point. I can always find my way anywhere if I can find the North Star."
Emma listened, fascinated, as he continued to explain the constellations in the night sky, going over some of the finer details and some of the mythology behind the constellations they could see.
"Which one is your favorite?" She asked, leaning against him more, her arms wrapped around the arm closest to her.
He pointed towards the bottom of the open area of the roof that they were looking through, "That one right there." He looked over at her, "That one is Cygnus, the Swan."
Emma felt like she could melt because of the look in his eyes, and she leaned over and pressed her mouth into his, overcome with emotion.
His hand came around to the back of her head, keeping their lips locked together as they moved closer to one another. Emma untangled their arms a bit and pushed up, moving her torso over his, pressing her body in closer.
Killian groaned into her mouth, his hand and wrist moving down her back under her borrowed jacket. Emma kissed him harder, her tongue slipping into his mouth when he broke away for a quick breath. His hand landed on her hips, and using his wrist he lifted her up so she was straddling his hips.
Emma broke away and both of them groaned at the contact. God. He was so warm underneath her, like he had his own flames burning under his skin. Killian pushed up, fusing his mouth to hers as his hand on her waist pulled her tighter to him.
Her hands moved to shove into his hair, pulling on the strands and Killian nipped her lip in return.
"Minx," He growled into her mouth. She smiled into the kiss and tugged on his hair again, loving his responsiveness to her.
Killian's hand dragged down her lower back and over her ass, settling on her thigh just under her dress. He squeezed her thigh, and Emma rocked her hips into his.
Emma groaned into his mouth. She could feel him, hard and burning through his jeans against her.
Killian pulled back from her mouth. They both were out of breath.
"Maybe we should take this back to my place love." He said, it coming out as more of a question than not to her ears.
He didn't know whether she wanted this, wanted him.
"My dorm is closer," She said against his lips. "Besides, my bed is bigger."
He grinned before pulling her those last inches to place another breath-stealing kiss on her lips.
It was a couple more minutes before they finally pulled themselves apart to make their way back to her dorm building. They both chased one another in their hurry, making a game out of the run back.
If the other caught up to them, they would get punished. It normally meant minutes of long kisses stolen against trees or other buildings on campus, delaying what could have been a quick trip back across campus.
They finally made it to her building, the night guard looking the other way as they came stumbling through the doors, laughing with messed up hair and clothes still slightly askew.
He pressed into her from behind as they came to a stop in front of her room, kissing against her neck. Emma struggled to focus as she dug around in her small clutch for her keys. Finally, she pulled her keys out and, after a momentary lapse in focus when his hand brushed around her front, skimming underneath her breast, she shoved them in the door.
The door opened and they both stumbled in, Killian immediately grabbed her and pushed her back against the door. Emma moaned as his lips latched onto her neck, sucking a mark at the juncture of her shoulder. She grabbed onto his shoulders, fingernails digging in as she searched for some kind of anchor in the swirl of emotions flowing through her body. She dimly remembered the last time things got this heated between them, and made a slight effort to remember to keep her core temperature down, so as not to burn him this time.
He pulled back from her only slightly as his hand grabbed the top collar of his (her) jacket and pulled, trying to get if off her. She moved to help, both of them stumbling again as she got her arms out of the sleeves and pressed herself back against him as the jacket fell to the ground.
Killian's hand found the tie holding her hair back, yanking it roughly out of her hair and shoving his hand into her locks as they tumbled down her back. His other arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her roughly against his body. It made it a bit more difficult for her to reach her hands between them and undo the buttons on his vest, but not impossible.
She pushed the offending fabric off his shoulders and began working on the buttons of his shirt.
"You are wearing too many clothes." She complained as they pulled back for a split second for a breath.
"You weren't complaining earlier if I recall." He said, nipping at her lips again.
She nipped at his back, loving the growl that he made.
The final button came loose on his shirt and she ran her hands over his chest as he pulled her back to his mouth with a hand at the back of her neck.
Killian guided them across the room until the back of her legs hit the edge of her bed, both of them tumbling back onto the bed.
He braced most of his weight on his blunted arm, his hand trailing along her neck and down between her breasts. He was saying something to her, but she barely heard him.
Unable to stop it, Emma tensed, flashing back to when she was 12.
Another body, a heavier weight settled against her and she started fighting back, not able to tell the difference between her memories and what was really happening.
Emma slammed her hands into his bare chest, causing him to curse and stumble back off her as she continued to lash out at him.
In her panic and scramble to get him off her, she tumbled off the other side of her bed, pushing away until her back hit the wall, she wrapped her arms around her legs and pulled them against her chest in an effort to cower away.
Slowly, some of her awareness was coming back.
People were talking around her.
"Emma, Emma! It's okay. I'm not touching you. Look at me Emma. I'm not touching you."
Killian.
That was when she noticed that the other voice she was hearing was her own. Over and over she was muttering, "don't touch me, don't touch me."
She blinked a few times, the darkness starting to recede a bit. Killian knelt a few feet away from her, looking at her with a concerned expression on his face. His hand and wrist were held up to show that he wasn't touching her at all.
Emma's eyes snagged, however, on the twin burns shaped like handprints on his chest.