Allura straightened herself above Shiro, prostrate on the floor of the ring, and turned to face the paladins directly. She put on her most amiable regal smile and tried not think about how sweaty she was. "Good morning, paladins."
The team stood at the doorway in a semi-circle. Allura wondered when they had arrived. A bead of sweat dripped down her face and she resisted the impulse to wipe it away. How long had they been watching her and Shiro spar?
"You warming Shiro up for us, Princess?" Keith grinned.
Allura felt herself the heat rose in her face like a slow burn, she realized it wasn't just from the cardio.
"Are we interrupting?" Lance shouted. "Inquiring minds want to know."
"Does this mean training is cancelled?"
"Hunk!" Keith growled, elbowing his companion in the side.
As Hunk groaned Shiro's exhalation became a sigh of exasperation. Allura shook her head and smiled. She hadn't even heard the doors open.
"Now I know you weren't telling the truth about last night,Shiro," Pidge added.
"Pidge," Shiro protested, awkwardly righting himself. Allura watched as he peeled off his boxing gloves. His eyes were glued to the ground as he tied them together, avoiding the team's gaze. He took a deep breath, then slung the gloves over his broad shoulders.
"It's called lying, Pidge," Lance corrected. "I thought you were the smart one."
Pidge rolled their eyes. "I was being polite."
The paladins filed into the training room, their attention on one another, and not Allura or Shiro. At least for the present moment. Allura exhaled in relief.
They were so young. A smile tugged at the edge of their lips as she watched them cajole each other. All of the paladins carried themselves with the of brash self-satisfaction of adolescence, and smiles that said they were ready to take on any risk, even though there was no way they could possibly understand the consequences. Though they were all wise beyond their years. Lance blew a raspberry at Pidge and Allura's face faltered. Most of them were wise beyond their years. They had all adapted to the mantel Voltron had thrust on them with grace, even though they still complained about early morning training sessions. It was a concession Shiro seemed willing to give them in exchange for continued improved performance, but Allura was not so lenient. She had lived in the shadow of the Galra empire her whole life; she knew what was expected of the paladins in time of war.
The Galra empire was a nightmare made flesh, made ever more insatiable and destructive by Zarkon's desire for power and control. And it had only gotten worse since they had destroyed Altea. The paladins were too young to know, too anew to the universe and so painfully, sweetly human. Everything was new to them. They did not know. How could they? Other than Shiro, none of the paladins had seen the stars on anything but astronomical charts before they found the Blue Lion. How could they know what stars had been swallowed by the Galra, and the pall of endless night that trailed in the wake of their warships?
They smiled as they assembled and stretched, and bantered, awaiting Shiro's instruction. Their lives had not been fractured by the Galra the way hers had. The way Shiro's had. They did not know loss, the way the two of them did. The losses of the paladins lives were still illuminated by hope, and the promise of discovery, and possibility that maybe someday those wrongs could be righted. Or that the answers they sought would still reveal themselves. Allura's loss was a phantom limb; she felt the weight of everything that was gone, even though it was no longer there, and never would be again. She held on to hope because that was all that was left.
But together, they were Voltron. Together, they had hope. And that had to be enough.
"I'll leave you to it," she said to the paladins, though her eyes lingered on Shiro.
"You sure you don't wanna stick around, Princess?" Lance flexed casually in his armor. "Check out my moves?"
"Don't encourage him," Keith said, sourly.
Allura suppressed a laugh. "Perhaps another time."
"Let me walk you out," Shiro offered, and Allura felt her shoulders snap back reflexively.
She wondered what sort of readings her armor was picking up, now, with Shiro so close.
The two crossed the training room in companionable silence. A chorus of high pitched baiting sounds arose from the paladins behind them, but Shiro shot a glance over his shoulders, glaring daggers at the group of teenagers. The training room got a lot quieter after that, but Allura expected they were still talking amongst themselves. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, but still, she smiled. It was just as well. She didn't want them to hear what she was going to say next.
"They think there's something going on between us," Shiro said, quietly, as he pressed a hand against the wall. It opened soundlessly and he hung up his gloves.
Allura let out a chuckle. "You don't say."
"That would be ridiculous," Shiro almost smiled.
"Oh of course," Allura hung her own gloves up, and the wall swallowed both pairs without a sound. "Absolutely absurd."
"Yeah."
Allura met Shiro's gaze and saw the disappointment in his dark eyes. She forced herself to stifle the smile threatening to break across her face, bright and inevitable as the sunrise. It was just as she had hoped.
"You did well back there, Shiro," she extended her hand for a congratulatory shake.
Shiro paused, and his eyes searched her face. Allura looked him up and down and understood his hesitation at once. To take her outstretched hand would mean he would have to touch her with his Galra prosthetic. His mechanical fingers almost trembled. Allura smiled and extended her left hand instead. They shook hands.
His skin was warm, but his palm and fingers were rough with callouses; the mark of a pilot, and a paladin. Her fingers lingered at his rough edges.
"Let's do this again," she smiled.
Shiro nodded. "Any time, Princess."
Their hands were still interlocked. As he began to drift away she felt a flicker of dismay flare inside her. She did not want to let go, but she felt the paladins' eyes on them, even now from across the room. So she squeezed his hand softly. She hoped it seemed sportsman like.
"I'm going to the pool for a cool down," she murmured, looking away from Shiro and towards the door. "Perhaps I'll see you there later?"
When she glanced back at him, his eyes were wide. Her lips bloomed into a smile, and she walked out the door without another word.
Allura made her way to the pool on auto-pilot, her skin prickling beneath her armor at the mere possibility of Shiro joining her. A smile tugged at the edges of her lips thinking about him, and the feeling that was spreading over her skin like an electrical storm rolling over the plains. The perspiration from the mornings sparring had cooled. She shuddered and rubbed her arms with her bare hands, eager to swap her armor for something dry, if only just to get wet all over again.
She slipped into the locker room adjacent to the pool and shed her armor. The flex bracers hit the tiled floor with a dull thud. The moisture wicking fabric peeled away from her clammy skin and she shuddered again as her skin gradually became exposed to the air. Her hair, matted with sweat, clung to her neck, errant strands clinging to her clavicles. She let it loose, shook it out and piled it back on top of her head again, careful not to catch it on her tiara. She paused.
Was there even a reason to wear it any longer?
A princess with no planet to speak of hardly needed a crown. She ran her finger along the metal, pausing over the gem in the center. Her birthstone. Her father had had it commissioned for her coronation as the heir to the throne. Instead of Altea, she had inherited a war, and the mantle of Voltron. But it was a mantle she no longer had to bear alone, even if her father was gone forever. Allura took a deep breath.
She slipped into a swimsuit and swung up into the pool.
The warm water of the recessed ceiling pool enveloped her. Allura kicked off the edge and made her first lap. Her muscles burned as she spurred herself onward, emerging only briefly for quick gasps of air. She made one more lap. And then another. She went until her arms felt so heavy she could barely lift them for one more stroke. She went until her legs felt like they were on fire. She went until her short sharp breaths became ragged gasps for air.
And when she could go no more, she let go. Allura's body drifted slowly to the surface. Her head emerged from of the pool, and she issued a command to the computer to dim the lights. Everything went dark outside of the blue light of the pool, and she let her body hang upside down, suspended by the water all around her. She closed her eyes, and let herself be weightless.
With a soft tug she undid her bun and her silver hair spilled around her shoulders, dancing in the water. She sighed as the pressure from keeping her hair up abated, and it became weightless like everything else in that moment. She kicked at the water lazily with no intention of moving, just maintaining her position. When she opened her eyes, she stared blankly at the floor. She almost felt like a child. She had always loved hanging upside in the pool as a child. She had done so after every swimming lesson, before her father used to reach for her, and bring her back down.
Without thinking, her hand drifted from beneath the surface back to her tiara. She pulled until it came free of her forehead. Holding it in both hands, she ran a thumb over her green birthstone. The Ayu's Eye was cool and smooth to the touch. Her father had always said it looked beautiful against her brown skin. She almost smiled as she turned the golden circlet to catch the light. She felt strange without it on her brow. Naked. Yet, relieved.
What need would the universe have for a princess without a planet when this war was done? She traced the edge of the metal, following its curve back to the center. What would she do if she survived? Coran was a career engineer. His diploma was a few millenia out of date, but she was sure he could still hold his own out in the universe. He could find work. He could make another life, somewhere in the reaches of space. But she had only ever been a princess.
And then, the door opened. Her heart leapt in her chest. Shiro?
She felt her tiara fall from her hands, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Her eyes widened as the metal clattered loudly on the floor.
"I'm sorry Princess. I didn't mean to startle you."
Allura's breath hitched in her throat. Her eyes searched the dark for what her heart hoped might be there. But it was not Shiro. Keith stood at the doorway in his red swim trunks. Allura felt her heart sink. The weightlessness of being in the pool fell away, replaced by the heaviness of disappointment.
"It's fine, really," Allura said, gathering her hair up in her hands to get it back under control. "I was just…lost in thought," she explained, trying not to be dishonest. Or sound too disheartened. Instinctively, she went brushed a finger over her brow to push her circlet back into place. But it was not there.
She lowered herself to the floor. Keith stood beneath the pool with a towel draped around his shoulders. He bent for her circlet just as she began to reach for it. When he handed it to her, his dark eyes met hers.
"Thank you," Allura murmured, slipping her tiara back on her brow. The metal band caught in her wet hair and made her flinch. She could not remember the last time that had happened. Perhaps that was because she could not remember the last time she had taken it off.
Keith stood below the pool in silence, his lean form casting a long shadow across the floor and up the wall. The blue light reflecting from above them danced between them. She gave the wall a gentle press and it issued her a towel. It was soft and warm in her hands. The red paladin gazed at her with his dark eyes.
"How did training go?" she asked, piling her hair into a bun.
"Fine," Keith shrugged. "Hunk's marks are finally starting to improve."
"That's good," Allura smiled. Lance had been a natural with a blaster rifle; so had Pidge (thanks to something they called "video games"). But Hunk had struggled with his marksmanship since he arrived at the Castle of Lions. It was good to hear he was making progress. Shiro, however, was an unparalleled shot. She almost allowed her thoughts to wander to how their sparring match would have transpired if they had thrown weapons into the mix.
"You really put Shiro through the ringer, though," Keith added. "He was pretty out of it after you left."
"I really gave him a run for his groggeries, didn't I?" Allura's grin widened as she slung her towel around her waist. She cinched the towel into a knot at her hip and looked up to find that Keith did not return her smile. "I'll try to be gentler next time," she added.
"I'm glad we're on the same page," Keith said, cooly.
The smile faded from Allura's face. "I beg your pardon?"
"About Shiro." He slid his hands into the pockets of his swim trunks, but still, he held her gaze with no remorse. The blue light reflecting off the surface of the pool danced over his face, bringing no warmth to it.
Allura watched as his stance widened. Was he standing his ground? Her hand drifted to where her towel hung around her hips, suddenly feeling entirely too exposed. "I'm afraid I don't understand," she said.
"With how much he's been through, we can't - " Keith began, his voice rising. Allura swallowed. Something flickered in Keith's eyes. Allura took a step back. In a flash, he almost didn't look human. He looked like something else entirely.
Impossible, she thought, watching in horror as his pupils turned to slits. It can't be. Her breath caught in her throat, waiting for his eyes to turn yellow, like theirs. Allura's hand drifted to her hip, where her bayard would have been. If she were a paladin, instead of the princess of a planet lost to fire and time. Her hand curled into a fist.
Keith jerked his face away from her, diverting his gaze to the ground. He exhaled sharply. Ran a hand through his dark hair. When he looked up again, he looked like himself. Like a human. Allura swallowed.
"What are you?" Allura's whispered.
"Someone who cares about Shiro. Like you, " Keith met her gaze, and she did not doubt him. But she did not trust him. "We need to-" he halted himself just as quickly as he began, to take another deep breath.
His hesitation let her slide in like a knife.
"Need to what?" Allura interrupted. "Be gentle?" she asked, no longer joking with him.
"That's not what I was gonna say," Keith replied, his voice low.
The Altean princess straightened herself. "No one out there is going to be gentle with any of us," her hand shot out, pointing at the wall where the blue light of the pool stretched from the floor to the ceiling. "Not with you, not with me, and certainly not with knows that better than any of us."
"You think I don't know that?" he snapped. "I'm not just some cadet anymore."
There was no ire in his voice. Nothing snide. Nothing but the sorrow of someone who might actually understand what she had lost. But how could he even begin to know? Earth still orbited its sun. Its moon still called the tide. Humans still loved and laughed and cried and died and were buried in the dirt. Or their ashes were let loose upon the wind. Real wind. On a real planet, where it still rained. A strand of silver hair fell from her bun and into her eyes, and she swept it behind her pointed ear.
"You're right. You may be a paladin of Voltron now," Allura said, her voice dangerously quiet. "But you still have no idea what the Galra are truly capable of."
Keith's dark eyes met hers. "I do, Allura."
"Is that so?" she asked.
"Because I knew Shiro before they found him."
Allura's lips pressed together ruefully. She had almost forgotten about before. Maybe it would have been better, if she could. She took a deep breath, and exhaled.
"I appreciate your concern, Keith. But this was not appropriate." Her eyes narrowed at him in the low light. "By any means."
She turned to leave, almost expecting Keith to argue.
He didn't.
The sound of her footsteps was all that followed her. She did not look back. She didn't have to; she could see Keith's shadow stretched across the floor, unmoving. The locker room doors parted, and his shadow vanished behind her. They had barely slid closed before Allura slumped against them on the other side. She shuddered in her suit; the metal was cold against her skin.
But not as cold as she felt thinking about Keith's eyes in the dark.