Chapter 13.
A/N: I know it's been a long time but I'm finishing this more for myself at this stage. Still, if there are any old readers out there, welcome back! If there are any new ones, welcome!
He awoke in semi-darkness. He came gasping out of dreams full of broken glass and stabbing needles. Nick looked around. He was in a hospital bed and he was aware of pains that were very far away. They glowed like hot embers all along his body. His leg, his chest and his head were hurting or they would have been had he been unmedicated. He took in his surroundings through the warm haze that surrounded him.
He was propped up in bed, his torso swathed in bandages. Another wrapping covered his head with room for his ears to poke out. Must have been a car accident, he thought. At that sirens flashed in his mind's eye. He shook himself and looked out the window. Rain fell heavily against the darkened pane. The lights of Zootopia's temperate zone glittered wetly. The corridor outside was quiet. It was just past midnight but Nick couldn't remember how he'd gotten here. Come to think of it he couldn't remember what he'd been doing ever since he and Finnick had set out on their popsicle scam.
He began to panic. He knew time had passed but he couldn't remember how he'd spent it. The heart monitor beside the bed began to beep in time with his own pounding heart. His breathing became quick and shallow as images flooded his brain. A cold, bare room. A zebra with murder in his eyes. Murder in Nick's heart. The trembling touch of a small paw. He growled low and loud in his throat.
He saw shapes move behind the windows near the door to his room. The door opened and a wolf in a police uniform looked. The glowing eyes in the darkened room did little to help Nick's mounting panic attack. What was worse was how they widened and the officer mouthed "Oh shit." The door snapped shut and the wolf sprinted away. Nick's hyperventilation continued unabated. More nightmarish images trickled into his brain like oily poison.
He struggled to rise wincing at the dull ache in his head and the sharp tickle in his chest. His paws touched the cold lino floor and his injured leg went out from under him. Nick yelped as he went down. He coughed harshly as broken ribs shifted painfully. He grabbed the bed rail and tried to haul himself up. They found him like that; the otter doctor and police wolf.
"Nick stay there," said the wolf gently, resting his paws on Nick's arms. "Take it easy. Let's get you back up there now."
"Who are you?" asked Nick hoarsely.
"Nick it's me Wolford," said the wolf. "Boy am I fuckin' glad to see you awake. You had us all scared."
"I don't have any cop friends," muttered Nick as the doctor injected a light sedative.
"Sure you do Nick. All your friends are cops."
Concern radiated from the wolf's glowing eyes. As Nick began to drift off Wolford thumbed through his phone and made a call.
"Chief? It's Wolford. Yeah, he's awake but I think we may have a problem.
ZOOTOPIA GENERAL. THE NEXT DAY.
"I've had to sedate him again," explained Dr Strokes. "His panic attacks keep getting worse every time he comes to."
"What's wrong with him?" asked Chief Bogo, looking just as tired and concerned as Wolford did. It weighed on his mind that Judy was a few minutes away as well. She'd held off as long as she could after witnessing what happened to Nick but now she could wait no more. The huge water buffalo sighed and scratched his chin.
"Besides the cracked ribs, concussion and gunshot wound?" replied Dr Strokes. "He's in a severe state of trauma. I don't know what was done to him while he was a prisoner but it's affected his mind far more than his body."
"When I saw him wake up that first time," mused Wolford. "It was like he didn't even recognise me. Like he had amnesia or something. I've only been that scared three times before in my life and I legally can't talk about two of those. The idea of him not coming back is… frightening."
"I sympathise I really do," said Strokes. "But it may not be as bad as you think. Amnesia typically occurs due to blunt force. This is something different. It's as if his memories of being a police mammal and all of the events of the last two years have been locked away. With the right psychological tools and techniques those memories could be, well, remembered again. But we must be careful any exposure to something triggering or traumatic could bury those memories deeper or worse erase them."
"Erase what?" called a voice.
Bogo and Wolford turned. Judy was dressed in a plaid shirt and jeans with a basket of blueberries under her arm. Wolford and Bogo had seen plenty of upset mates before and their own fair share of police widows but they'd be damned if they could remember any of them putting on a face half as brave as Judy was now. Still body language didn't lie. Her ears were flat against the back of her head and her usually pink nose was red around the nostrils. Her eyes were bloodshot despite the smile on her face and her clasped paws shook ever so slightly.
"Judy hey," said Wolford, taking the initiative. "How are you doing?"
"About as bad as I expected," she admitted, the smile wavering. "Maybe worse."
"Barely anything to be upset about," huffed Bogo, suddenly awkward. "Wilde will be fine even if I have to treat him myself-"
"I advise against that," Dr Strokes interjected.
"Besides Hopps," continued Bogo. "The worst is over. The road to recovery begins here. It may be long and winding but we're on it, together."
"Yes sir," managed Judy passed huge globes of tears.
"Would you like to go in Miss Hopps?" asked Dr Strokes, gently. "I'm afraid it's only two visitors to a room in ICU though."
"That's fine," barked Bogo. "Have to head home anyway. Rest up and all that. Lots to do."
With that said the huge water buffalo marched out, tail swishing angrily behind him. Wolford shrugged and looked at Judy. Without another word Judy stretched out her paw. It was more of a demand than a request but Wolford took hold of her tiny paw in his large one without question. The timber wolf lead the bunny into the room surprised at how strong her grip was.
Judy dug blunt nails into her paw and shut her mouth against the moan that threatened to emerge. Her fox lay motionless on the bed propped up on pillows and wrapped in bandages. Tufts of white and red fur poked out here and there. A drip kept him hydrated throughout his long periods of sedation and a heart monitor beeped comfortingly beside him.
"He's dreaming," whispered Judy noting the rapid eye movement beneath Nick's lids. Wolford knew enough about psychology to guess that Nick's dreams were not necessarily good ones. His own mind could be working against him. No matter what the otter doctor had said Nick had a hell of a fight left for him. Probably tougher than the one he'd fought against Crossing.
Judy let go of Wolford's smarting paw and rested both of hers on top of Nick's still paw. Wolford shook out his paw and took a stool. He blinked against the tiredness that itched at his eyes. He and Grizzoli had volunteered to pull consecutive 12-hour shifts keeping watch over Nick. He knew that he and the polar bear felt partly responsible for not acting quick enough in both attempts at rescuing Nick.
He and Grizzoli were very similar. Both had spent time in the special forces but had become disillusioned after the fight against the Animalia Liberation Front had them conducting semi-legal operations on home turf. They'd joined precinct one's Highway Patrol division in an effort to help the city they'd done so much damage against. Often partnered together Wolford and Grizzoli were as close as partners without being actual partners. They often refrained from socialising in the ZPD for fear of losing more friends.
"I'm gonna go grab a coffee," he said through a yawn. "Want anything Hopps?"
"A carrot tea please Wolford," she said without turning around.
"Sure thing," he replied and started to get up.
"Oh and Wolford."
He paused at the door and turned to look into shining violet eyes.
"Thanks. For everything you've done for me and for Nick."
"Sure thing Hopps," he said again.
Wolford left the bunny there to be with her mate. He'd take his time. He took the long way to the hospital's coffee shop. Endless white and green corridors stretched out before him filled with nurses, orderlies and doctors rushing around. This was where he'd been brought all those years ago after the incident at the toll booth. He shook himself. That's in the past Wolfie, he told himself.
He arrived in the coffee shop to another vigil of sorts. Fangmeyer, Clawhauser and Trent Buckton sat around a table full of coffee cups, water bottles and empty donut boxes. Caffeinated eyes rose and widened to greet him. He pulled out a chair and sat, a long sigh emanating from deep within.
"How is he?" asked an unusually sombre Clawhauser.
"The same," answered Wolford. "Doc says his memories of Judy and being a cop are blocked by whatever Crossing did to him."
"Motherfucker," hissed Buckton through his teeth. The stag's antler stumps were still wrapped in cotton padded bandages. Buckshot wounds had been stitched up on his scalp. They all carried their wounds from the raid on Jackson's headquarters differently.
"What happens now?" asked Fangmeyer.
"Now we wait," answered Wolford. "See what the doctors can do. Hope the physical damage clears up without a hitch and pray that the mental damage isn't too bad."
"I wish there was more we could do," complained Clawhauser. "None of this feels right, at all."
They talked for another five minutes or so. The precinct was going through the motions under a heavy cloud. Wolford bet it wasn't just the precinct. Most of Zootopia had looked up to Nick and Judy in some way. There was a heaviness in the air these days and it wasn't just the mugginess of monsoon season. Fangmeyer insisted on buying the coffee and tea. Wolford didn't have the energy to argue.
He made the trip back quickly, aware of how long he'd been gone. What Wolford arrived back to didn't serve to bolster his hopes. He came through the door to Nick's room not to the happy reunion he had hoped for but to something a lot tenser.
"Nick look it's me," Judy was saying quietly.
"That's the second time you've said that," snapped the fox. "And I've told you I don't know any bunnies much less any bunny cops. Why are you here?"
"Hopps I think Nick needs some time with his thoughts," suggested Wolford gently.
"I think you're right Wolford," said Judy in a too stiff voice.
The timber wolf guided Judy out of the room and handed her the tea which she swiftly drank before pressing her self against him and proceeding to soak the front of his uniform.
"It's not that he didn't recognise me," said Judy when the sobs had finished wracking her. "It's that he wouldn't even look at me."
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