Author's Note: If you've made it to Chapter 4, welcome! Since this story and the one to follow are both done, I've decided to post faster than I initially planned. Hope you like it!

Chapter 4

Sam

"Fruit from the Tree of Life, blood from a most holy man…" Rowena ticks through the ingredients as she adds them to a silver bowl and crushes them with a stone pestle.

I zip my travel bag and toss a book in Dean's direction. He catches it and zips it inside his own bag then yelps as Rowena plucks out some of his hair to add to her mixture.

My entire body jitters with nervous electricity. The rift, the other world, Jack and Mom. Today's really the day and I'm as scared as I am anxious to go. What if—I shake my head. What if we're too late? What if there's nothing to find on the other side because we took too long?

I swallow and wring my hands together, attention going to Cass as he enters the room in his usual attire. Gabriel's not following him.

"Uh, Cass, where's—?" I start to ask.

"He wanted to extract his grace by himself," Castiel says.

"Is he okay?" I ask. Our resident archangel is kind of quiet, a little reserved. He makes raunchy jokes every now and again and sometimes laughs with Dean about dumb things that make me roll my eyes. But it seems forced. His grace levels are going up, but sluggishly, and he always seems so tired and cold. He wears his leather jacket all the time and sleeps with extra blankets.

Sleeps. It's so weird that he sleeps still, but him resting means that he's healing.

"Yes, I believe so," Castiel says slowly as if contemplating the answer. "He said he wanted privacy. So, I left him alone in Dean's room."

The horrified look on Dean's face makes me want to laugh.

"What? No!" Dean's lip curls and I duck my head, biting back a smile. Honestly, what does Dean think Gabriel's doing in there? His mind is always in the gutter, but… the way Castiel phrased it did make the situation seem a little dirty.

"I hate to interrupt," Rowena cuts in, "but I'm sure I'm not the only one to notice the glaring hole in this plan. When we open up the rift, it gives us a day to find your mum and save the boy. It's a very big world over there, and you're not even sure where they are. So…"

"She's right. The clock may run out on us."

"Yeah, it might," I agree. Fear and anxiety make me want to jump into action. I check my gun, and catch Dean's eye as he, Cass and myself move to stand around Rowena and the bowl of spell ingredients.

"Yeah, well we don't have any better ideas," Dean says.

"Hm, that's inspirational," Rowena says, looking glum.

I don't know what else to add. We really are just jumping into another world, wishing for the best, ready for the worst. There are way too many things that can go wrong, but we have to try—it's all we can ever do—and hope it's enough. Even though it feels like we lose more than we win a lot of the time—Dean and me have been through so much shit and come through it. We'll do it again; we have to. Mom and Jack need us to.

"Here it is." Gabriel enters the room, dressed in his usual all black attire. I still can't get over his new—old—form. It's the body of a guy that had to be just out of his teens before he offered himself up as a vessel. He could have been a model for pretentious clothing stores like Armani or Gucci.

"The final ingredient." Gabriel joins the cluster around the ingredient bowl and sets down a glowing vial. "A fresh serving of archangel grace."

I frown at the tiny sliver of grace inside. It barely fills a fourth of the vial. Rowena picks the glass vial up, squinting at it as I turn my gaze to Gabriel. His dark skin's pale, discolored bags under his wide eyes. His long hair's pulled into a man-bun at the back of his neck to hide how greasy the curls are. He looks like Hell.

"This is what you call a serving?" Rowena ask, quirking a brow at Gabriel.

"That is the jet fuel of divine emissions," Gabriel says, sounding a little stung, posture rigid. "It'll be more than enough to get the job done."

He says this with a confidence his facial expression doesn't quite match. He runs a hand through his hair, then stares all of us down, as if daring us to question him.

"Okay," I say. "The spell doesn't say how much grace we need. It's probably enough."

Gabriel's shoulders relax, but he still looks awful. Is he going to be able to fight what we need him to? We're bringing him as muscle to help take on Otherworld Michael.

Dean nods, Castiel grunts and Rowena glances at all of us before she shrugs. "All right then. Let's try this."

She finishes grinding the ingredients and pours in the grace. A few magic words opens a thin glowing rip in the fabric our world—the rift. It worked. My stomach turns a back flip. Here we go. Castiel, Dean, Gabriel and I stand in a line that slowly moves forward, toward the rift. Who's going to jump in first? Probably Dean. He always goes—

The opening starts to sag, wilting, weakening, before it fizzles out, disappearing only a few seconds after it appeared.

We all stare at it.

"Well," Cass says after a beat, "that was fast."

"One could even say premature," Rowena says, her tone dry.

"Uh…" Gabriel's lids droop as he looks at the floor then slowly back at us, some shame darkening his eyes. "I thought it'd be enough." He doesn't have to add that it was probably all the grace he had to spare.

"All right, great. What do we do now?" I ask. Gabriel doesn't have any more juice, obviously. We were so close, again.

"Hell if I know," Dean says.

"You do know," Castiel says. He stares at us, his gaze pointed and serious. "We all do. We need archangel grace. Gabriel is obviously running a little low and we don't know how long it'll take him to recover."

I glance at Gabriel to see him shrug and bow his head, nodding a bit.

"So, that leaves exactly one source on Earth."

"No," I break in. No way can Castiel seriously be talking about using Lucifer.

"I don't like it either, but there is no other way," Castiel says. "We need Lucifer."

Gabriel looks positively sick. "Say what now?"

"We need your big brother's grace," Dean says, then glowers at me and Castiel. "But just how the hell are we gonna pull that off? We don't have years to plan, we need it now. What can we do?"

"I don't know," I mumble.

"Come on, we need to do this quick. Everyone start throwing scenarios out on the table," Dean says. "Doesn't matter how crazy or stupid your ideas are, we gotta start somewhere."

We sit down around the long table. My mind races through scenarios that all end with Lucifer screwing us over, Lucifer killing us all. My head aches. How are we going to do this—or are we not going to do it at all. We can't forget about Jack and Mom, we can't give up, but… I want to punch something. To scream. But Gabriel speaks up before I do.

"I might have an idea."

We all turn to him. "Spit it out," Dean says.

Gabriel scowls, then sighs and tells us a plan so crazy that it just might work.

Gabriel and Rowena are gone for hours.

"You don't think they're just shacking-up somewhere do you?" Dean asks over a double meat ham sandwich and chips.

I really don't understand how he can eat in tense situations. I shake my head at him. "Why would you…" I trail off, because it's Rowena and Gabriel. Neither of them has the most trustworthy track record when it comes to following through on their word and being team players. And both of them are known for…

"Oh man," I moan. "Now, that's in my head, forever."

Dean shrugs. "I wouldn't blame Gabriel for wanting to tap that, but…"

I stare at Dean, mouth slight ajar. I really shouldn't react so much to him anymore, but

ugh!

My brother grins around a mouthful of sandwich but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. He's worried the other half of our team isn't coming back after the first hint of trouble. If I really think about it, what would it hurt Gabriel and Rowena not to come back? They don't care about Mom or Jack, and if Other World Michael finds a way to come through, no one's better at hiding than them. Hell, up until a little while ago, we'd thought they were both dead. Lucifer had thought they were dead. But it hurts.

It hurts because I thought Rowena and I were becoming friends. We have/had an understanding, a shared fear. I helped her. And Gabriel, we helped him get his revenge, we gave him a place to stay and get his mind together while he's weak. But does all of that obligate them to help us on a mission that could get them killed along with us?

My cell phone vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out, glancing at the Caller ID and sigh. "It's them." Answering, "Hello?"

"We're coming in," Gabriel says. "Open the door. This douchebag's heavy."

My heart skips a beat. Someone's heavy—oh. They got him. "Dean, Cass, they're here. Somebody open the door. Th-they've got Lucifer."

A whirlwind of actions of happen, but next thing I know, Lucifer's bound to a chair in the library, his hands magically cuffed behind his back.

"Did you guys run into any trouble?" I ask, looking both Gabriel and Rowena over. Neither looks worse for wear, though Rowena keeps flexing her knuckles and casting wary glances in Lucifer's direction and Gabriel looks anywhere but at his brother.

"No," Gabriel says. "It was easy. Big dope fell right for it. I gotta say I've never seen old Luci that pathetic. He sobbed like a broken down old drunk and asked me to end it. Think he meant it a little bit."

"Really?" Dean's lip curls up on one side. "He say what he was so miserable about?"

Gabriel snorts. "Oh, did he ever. He whined for an hour about Heaven disrespecting him and how he wanted to be a good dad but no one would give him a chance because he's the father of all evil but misunderstood, yadda, yadda, blah, blah. I've never been happier to knock somebody out, actually."

Rowena chuckles. "Good form."

"Thanks," Gabriel says, they share a smirk, and Dean's eyebrows raise. He looks at me, as if wanting me to make a connection…between Gabriel and Rowena. Ah gross. I glare at him for good measure and clear my throat.

"All right. Rowena, all the ingredients are here. Are we going to wait for him to wake up, or do we just slit his throat now?" It is so satisfying to say 'slit his throat' when discussing Lucifer, even when I know we're not going to kill him right off. We're just leeching his grace, slowly. But still… I wonder if they'll let me do the honors.

"He'll wake up soon enough," Gabriel says. "Why deal with his mouth any sooner than necessary?" He seems agitated. "Um, I'm going to…be somewhere else, unless you need me."

I frown at him, but Dean beats me to the question. "You all right?"

Gabriel blinks. "I-I'll be fine. I just…need air, and a Twinkie." He saunters out of the room in the direction of the kitchen.

We all look after him.

"Your archangel seems to be more than just broken," Rowena comments. "Do you have another you can call upon?"

"Really?" Dean asks. "If we did, do you think we'd have Lucifer in here?"

"I believe her question was rhetorical, Dean," Castiel chimes in, ever helpful.

"I know that!" Dean palms his forehead and mutters to himself for a second, and I figure I should say something to Rowena.

"Gabe's got a lot going on," I say. "He's getting over a really bad ordeal and his powers are on the fritz. And I bet Lucifer's presence isn't helping anything."

"Like it's helping me?" Rowena presses. "Look, boys, I'm risking a lot being here. I put my neck on the line to help you catch the devil just now. Your plan is far-fetched, but I have lots of faith in you—I just hope the faith you have in that archangel is as well-founded."

"He's what we got," Dean says. "We don't have any better deals beating on our door. A few years back, when we first met the guy, he was a powerhouse. He can be that again—right, Cass?"

Castiel nods. "His grace was never completely stolen, just depleted. The stores he has will spawn more, grace multiples."

"See—"

"Slowly, depending on how much is left behind," Castiel says. "Archangel grace reservoirs are oceans to ponds, when you compare them to regular angels, like me. It's… it's going to take a long time to fully replenish, Dean. That other Michael has his full grace."

"Gabriel can do more damage at quarter grace than a lot of us can," Dean says. "He may have needed our help smoking Loki, but the way he went about it? I took a few hits from Loki and his kids—Sam did too. That god strength ain't no joke, and Gabriel killed two of them without our help."

"But he did have to use wooden swords because he couldn't…" Castiel stops at the glint in Dean's eye. "Well, yes, Dean's right. Gabriel is stronger than your average team member."

"And he's got knowledge," I say. "He was the one who told us how to lock Lucifer in the cage."

Rowena hums, not seeming overly convinced, but she grabs her silver mortar and goes about mixing ingredients to try the spell again.

Castiel clears his throat. "Maybe I should go check on him."

"You always do it," I say. "I'll go, unless…" Did I imagine it, or was there a hint of disappointment on Castiel's face just now? Before, Castiel had never seemed attached to his angelic brothers and sisters. Back when he was fully committed to what he thought was the right plan, he was loyal, but he was still just protecting other angels out of duty. He'd kill a brother or sister if commanded without remorse. The angels weren't/aren't a family-family.

Well, the regular angels don't seem it, but the archangels, from the things I've heard from Gabriel, I think, were/are different. Gabriel had openly told Dean that he couldn't kill his brother, Lucifer, and Dean suspected that it wasn't because he physically couldn't. Gabriel had said that he loved God and his brothers and had run away because he couldn't bear to see them tear each other apart. He'd been pissed at me and Dean for letting Lucifer out so that the old battle between his relatives could start anew.

But, in the end, he'd tried to kill Lucifer—no, no wait. He hadn't. He'd sent in a decoy and I'm very sure he knew Lucifer would kill it and be fine. And yeah, he'd told Dean and me how to seal Lucifer—seal, not destroy.

"Cass, if you want to talk to him, go ahead," I say. Maybe Gabriel can build a new brotherhood bond with Castiel, and forget about Lucifer for good.

Cass looks uncomfortable as all eyes shift to him. He clears his throat and plays with his tie. Oh, for Chuck's sake. He's embarrassed. Now, we're just going to stand here and stare at each other. I sigh and walk past Cass, patting his shoulder and heading to the kitchen in search of Gabriel.

I find him sitting on the kitchen island with a box of Twinkies and a bottle of store-bought chocolate milk. I still haven't asked, but "Is the sweet-tooth just Loki carrying over, or do you—"

"I like sugar, Sam," Gabriel says, breaking a Twinkie in half and licking the crème out of the centers of both sides. "Always have. And human desserts get better and better with time. I mean, deep-fried Kool-Aid? Pixie Stix? We won't even get started on all the things you people do with ice cream. And that organic movement, yeah, some desserts taste great oh nat-tur-ral-ay, but high fructose corn syrup and the artificial stuff that makes Hawaiian punch red is good with me too."

I nod. This is why he and Dean get along at times. They both love junk, and grace-depleted Gabriel actually needs to eat, so he cheers when Dean brings home fast-food milkshakes and pies.

"You know, if you ate things with a little more sustenance, maybe your energy wouldn't burn up so fast." I have to throw that out there.

Gabriel takes a sip of milk and stuffs a Twinkie-butt in his mouth in reply.

"Okay, keep eating every two hours. Suit yourself."

A chocolate milk salute. "What do you want, Sam?"

Oh. "Just…checking on you," I say. "You seemed, well… I know Lucifer being here's gotta be hard on you. And we're getting ready to go through the rift, and…"

"You want to know if your busted archangel is going to fall to pieces before or after he jumps dimensions with you?" Gabriel finishes his Twinkie and fishes another out of the box.

"No!" Well, yeah, but that's not all. "Gabriel, we asked you here because we need you. But now that you're here, you're part of our team. And we care about our teammates. We need to know if someone's not okay, so that we can help."

"And how will you help?" Gabriel asks, mouth full again.

"By talking," I say. "Do you—do you want to talk about it, him? I—you know the deal between Lucifer and me. And Rowena… Lucifer burned her alive. Whatever you have to say, I can probably relate…"

Gabriel laughs outright, tossing his Twinkie aside and pushing the milk away. "You can relate?" His smile is beautiful, but his eyes are vicious. "You can relate because my brother hurt you? I guess you want me to say he hurt me too. That he violated me or tortured me? Nope. Nope can't say that. The worst thing he did was cause strife in the family, and that he was one of the ones who tried to force me to take sides."

"He killed you, or thought he did," I say, not understanding Gabriel's mood. My nerves crackle at the tension in the air.

Gabriel's smile widens. "He didn't want to, Sam."

"Wh—"

"He did not want to kill me," Gabriel says. "Lucifer is selfish, a prick, a bastard and an asshole, but not big on fratricide if there's another way. When he thought he'd killed me, I was there, I watched. He hesitated, he warned me, he gave me an out, and when the deed was done…" Gabriel trails off, looking up at the ceiling. "He cried, Sam."

Lucifer cried? I stare, incredulous. "You think that he…"

"I don't think," Gabriel growls, "I saw it. He's… Lucifer, he's a big bag of dicks, but a sensitive bag of dicks. His feelings get hurt and he throws epic, apocalyptic temper tantrums. He doesn't know how to deal with what upsets him other than to destroy it. Humans upset him. He was jealous. He was also wrong." Bright eyes gaze at me. "Don't ever think that I thought he was right in what he wanted to do. In what he did. The Cage was the best idea, put him away. And millennia later, when all the humans are gone, he could come back out. What's a millennium to us, huh?"

"So, what are you saying?" I'm confused. "You—you're bothered by something. But you can't talk to me because we're not bothered by the same thing?"

"Lucifer's evil," Gabriel says flatly. "We're both bothered by that. Lucifer is dangerous. We're both really bothered by that. But you hate him, and you want to commiserate based on that. I don't hate him. I can't hate him, though I should. I really, really should. And that is what's bothering me. He's a terrible monster who's done awful, deplorable things, but he's still my brother and when he dies, I'll grieve. And you won't understand my grief. You'll approach me like you did just now, wanting to help, but, because you hate him, you can't relate and you'll pity me while thinking: 'How and why is he so upset over the world's good fortune. The devil is dead! We should party, I want to party, but I've got to deal with a broken archangel who wants to get high on Pop-tarts and Mountain Dew and blubber over the damn devil."

My mouth flaps.

"I'm better when I'm quieter, hm?" Gabriel slides off the island, putting away the Twinkies and chocolate milk, keeping his back to me as much as he can.

Maybe he's hoping I'll go away and leave him alone again. Perhaps, I should. He's convinced himself that I've got nothing to say to him that could possibly make him feel better. But he's wrong.

"Gabe."

His shoulders tense.

"You're right." I keep talking, not waiting for him to turn around. I just hope he's listening. "I hate Lucifer. I don't understand how anyone could love him, or how anyone might be sad over his death. But I don't have to understand that to be there for you. As I said before, you're on our team, one of us, and we help each other. If you're sad or rundown or hurt, we'll be here. No one has to talk. We're your support. I'll be sad because you're sad and I don't want you to be, because it hurts you. That's all. So, the talk I wanted to have isn't the one you want, because we feel differently, so let's talk about something else. Are you scared? Feeling okay? You didn't sleep so good last night. You tired?"

He whirls around, expression a mask of astonishment. He blinks several times, tilting his head this way and that, as if trying to puzzle me out. The smile he gives is small, but genuine as he chuckles softly. "You are really something else, Sammy Winchester."

"Yeah, Dean says that too," I say. "But really, how are you feeling?"

Gabriel takes a deep breath and comes back to the kitchen island. "Drained." He pulls himself up onto it, letting his legs dangle. "The grace I pulled out for the spell and the power I used to maintain all those illusions for Luci? I needed those Twinkies." A strange gleam enters his eyes, as he hops off the island again and heads for the fridge. "And these!" He sounds triumphant as he pulls something out of the freezer. He comes back to his island with a large bag of full-sized Snicker bars. "Forgot about these. Slid them in the cart when Dean let me go to the store with him the other day."

"Dean bought you a bag of Snickers?"

Gabriel shrugs. "Don't act surprised. Who bought the Twinkies and Ding-Dong's? Certainly not you, Jolly Green Giant."

"But Dean…" hasn't been eating them. I haven't seen him open one box or heard one wrapper crinkle from his direction. Huh. All this time I thought he'd bought extra junk food to keep up with Gabriel eating so much of it, but Dean never bought Twinkies and chocolate milk before. He'll eat them if they're around, but he doesn't stock our pantries with that stuff. The Lucky Charms and Cookie Crisp and Fruity Pebbles that appeared in the pantry this week are all for Gabriel.

I smirk. My brother has a soft spot for turned angels. First Castiel, now Gabriel.

Gabriel sucks on a Snickers bar like a lollipop. "Ah… now that's good."

I come to the island, sitting on it too. "You gonna take those with you to Apocalypse World?"

"You guys are really calling it that—Apocalypse World," Gabriel snorts. "Creative you are not." He nibbles at the top of the bar. "I don't know if they'll fit in my bag. I've got other rations in there."

"More candy?" I ask.

"And Monster Energy drinks. Those things are awesome," Gabriel says. "Sugar rushes give me quick power bursts, you know. They don't last, but hopefully, I won't need them to. I'll have done the damage we need."

"You practiced this?"

Gabriel shrugs. "What do you think I do all day, mope? I'm not interested in getting my ass smoked over there. I'm still self-serving to a fault. I don't want to die."

I hum. Over the course of a week, Gabriel's settling in had involved him spending time alone, exploring the bunker. We go hours without seeing him. Hearing that makes me feel a lot better about bringing Gabriel with us, and lot guiltier too, as I realize I'm not excited that the archangel isn't as likely as I thought to get himself hurt or killed. I'm excited that we may have more of a fighting chance to get Mom and Jack back. Gabriel has back-up cannons.

"You're pleased," Gabriel says, finally biting the head off the Snickers bar. "Which means you're smarter than I gave you credit for. You don't want to die or sacrifice yourself over there anymore than I do. But you were willing to."

It's my turn to shrug. "If I have to, I will, for Mom and Jack."

"Who'd then have to live without you," Gabriel says. "Because a candy bar might give me detonation power, but it's not enough juice to raise your ass from the dead."

"Would it be a Snicker-rection if it could?"

Gabriel raises both brows at me. "Sammy, that's awful. Stick to being sensitive and serious."

I laugh. "Only if you agree to talk to us more, man. I mean, this isn't so bad is it?"

Gabriel sighs and shakes his head. "No. Not really." He picks at the exposed caramel and peanuts in his candy. "So, uh, since we're talking. Can I ask…" He bites his lip. "If it—if it comes to it…" he stops, swallows, starts again, "if it comes to it… don't ask me to, okay?"

"Don't ask you to what?"

"Don't ask me to kill, Lucifer," Gabriel murmurs. His face is grave, almost haggard. He said he feels drained and he looks it. "Please don't."

The only thing that can possibly kill Lucifer is an archangel blade, and only an archangel can wield one to its potential. Unless Otherworld Michael kills Lucifer, the only other being who can is sitting right in front of me, begging not to be asked.

However…

My teammate doesn't want to be pressured into killing his brother.

"I won't ask that of you," I say quickly, confidently, "ever."

Gabriel looks at me for a long time, before nodding slowly and going back to his candy. I need a minute to breathe. Something cold and hard is pressed against my knuckle and I look down to see an ice-cold Snickers resting near my fingers.

I grin as I take it. What the hell, one Snicker isn't going to kill me. I tear open the wrapper, and toast the chocolate against Gabriel's. We eat in companionable silence, until Rowena's voice calls from the library.

"He's waking up!"

Shit.

I nearly choke on a peanut and glance at Gabriel who's gone ashen. He sets down the

candy, looking at me to act first. "You want to stay in here for a bit longer?" I ask.

He shakes his head after a beat, gathering up the candy bag and slipping off the island. "A bit longer isn't going to change anything. Just remember what you said."

I nod at him, touching his shoulder briefly, before following him out of the kitchen.

Author's Note: Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think. Please review!