Jane sent everyone back to the ship, and ordered a shore leave for the rest of the day and for tomorrow. She had no willpower going back to space so soon, not to mention that the commotion around the attack of the Citadel and Udina's death left her with lots of items on her to do list.

But right now, she could concentrate on none of those things.

She was sitting next to Thane's bed, her face buried in her arms next to him. Kolyat had left already and she remained there alone, in her bloody armor, fresh from the battle.

A tear silently streamed down her face.

All she felt was that everything was slowly being taken away from her. First Earth, then Mordin, now Thane. They were always close friends, and kept talking to each other even after the suicide mission, just like with Mordin. She couldn't even grasp what it would feel like if something would happen to Tali or Garrus, who were basically family to her.

She dodged bullets impossible to dodge, broke thousands of criminals and enemies, stopped the reapers once, but still, she couldn't protect one little drell. She had no idea how she was going to do this whole war, not at this moment. All she felt was grief, slowly creeping into her every cell.

Saren stepped out of the shower. He looked at his chest in the mirror, and there was only a small wound on it. He took a deep breath and felt a strange pain spreading in his lungs as he did. How the hell did that guy punch so big that it caused a wound on his chest and his muscles hurt now? He eventually figured it must have been some high-tech Cerberus weapon, and decided to forget about it. He probably just needed to work it out, but it was already quite late, so he decided to retire for the night. He left for his bed and laying on his back, it only took him a couple of seconds to fall asleep.

He opened his eyes.

He was standing in water that reached up to his thighs. It was cold and it washed around him, hugging him. He couldn't see the bottom of it because it was dark, the middle of the night, but as a silver light broke on its surface, he slowly realized that it was the moon. He looked up at it, only to realize it was the Menae… he was on Palaven.

A strange fear creeped up in his mind, and he suddenly felt that the air was escaping his lungs, as if it were the vacuum of space. He lowered his head to try and look for a shore near him, but instead he caught a glimpse of something else.

A woman stood near him, looking at him. She was smaller than him by a head, the sea covering her to the hips. She had red hair, and even though the color was dulled by the darkness around them, he knew it was Jane.

She stepped closer. She was beautiful, dressed in a simple black dress, but it wasn't what caught his attention. It was her eyes, now dark, looking straight into his. The silver waters of Palaven hugged her like she was a creature of the water, a vision of home.

"Saren" she spoke, her voice so quiet, he barely heard it "You're here."

"Yes. But what are you doing here?" he asked, not moving an inch. She stepped closer, drawing her hands on the surface of the water.

"Why am I here? Why are you here? You should leave."

"What?" he asked, stunned.

She stepped even closer, now only a couple inches away "You don't belong here."

"Where?" He felt uncomfortable. Now, there was something in her that rubbed him the wrong way. He felt his limbs go numb, and they became harder to move with every second. What was happening?

"You don't belong on my ship!" she snapped "You're with the reapers!"

"What?" he was stunned, and he couldn't find the words he wanted to say. Everything was suddenly blurry and distant, his head started spinning.

"You cannot change. You helped Sovereign. You will help the rest of them too." He wanted to object, but at this point no words were coming out of his mouth. He couldn't move or speak, let alone think. Jane's face was now covered in darkness, and she took one more step to reach him. She put her lips to his ear, and whispered:

"You disgusting fucking reaper lover..."

Saren breathed rapidly for air as he sat up in his bed with his heart racing, all of his muscles numb. He kicked down his sheets, startled by the lack of sensation when it touched his legs. He moved to the edge of the bed and jumped off, and as soon as he stepped on his leg, he felt the familiar pain of blood rushing back into them. He exhaled and stood there for a couple of seconds before sitting back down. He buried his head in his palms and tried to calm down.

Deep breaths…. He needed to go see the punching bags.

"All I'm saying is that a little rest will not hurt" explained Garrus as they walked down to the docks. Shepard was now done with most of the things she had to do: she met the Council, arranged new resources for the Normandy and managed to beat up the same reporter for the third time in three years, which was Garrus' favourite part. He accompanied her all day and she was really grateful for that; running around alone and dealing with political shit was not her favourite thing at the moment, not when one of her best friends was lying dead. "Taking a shore leave might get you some long needed calm."

"We're on a shore leave right now, Garrus.."

He rolled his eyes: "You know I'm not talking about taking a day to run errands and waste your time on the Council. We need at least a couple of days off and have a giant, disgraceful party that we're all going to regret the next day."

She laughed at the proposal, already seeing the turian lying on the floor, trying to convince everyone that he is still the best sniper of the galaxy, even when on the floor blacking out.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked in a teasing way but there was an honest smile on his face. Making his best friend smile in such times was his speciality, and he always took pride in a job well done.

"That is a grand idea, dinosaur"

"Well, aren't I the smartest dinosaur in all existence?" she laughed again, her voice ringing through the docks. "Anyways, that would be a perfect opportunity to watch Fleet & Flotilla.. It's a ridiculous movie, you'd love it!"

"Shouldn't you watch that with Tali?" she winked, fully aware of the contents of the movie, having watched it herself many times now. It was her favourite cheesy romance movie, it always made her laugh. Garrus did not know that.

"What? No. Tali's not here anyways.." he said, scratching the back of his neck.

"Uh-huh..." Jane sent a knowing smirk in his direction, disbelief in her voice, but he wasn't paying attention anymore. He looked straight ahead into the elevator access corridor. Jane looked where Garrus was looking, and she noticed Kaidan leaning to the wall, waiting.

He noticed them too, and straightened his posture.

"Shepard, Garrus" he greeted them.

"I'll let you work this out. I'll be on the Normandy." said Garrus and he left towards the elevator.

"Hi Kaidan."

An awkward silence settled in immediately. Jane crossed her hands and leaned on her right leg, watching the visibly conflicted Kaidan trying to find the words he wanted to say.

"If you want to bitch about everything that I've done, don't even start." Jane eventually said, not wanting to have bullshit thrown at her again. She understood that Kaidan was confused with all that has happened, but he also wasn't giving any credit to her accomplishments. It honestly annoyed her.

"That is not why I'm here." he started. A look of question appeared on Jane's face, so he continued "I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I just didn't know what to think after… you were gone… " he coughed "And then returned with Cerberus. We just didn't have that bond that we used to have anymore, and it made me go crazy..."

At this point Jane wanted to roll her eyes at him so hard, but she tried to not disrespect his apology. Exactly what kind of bond was he talking about? There was nothing between them, ever… they weren't even best friends. She just couldn't follow this man's bumpy logic.

"And then you ended up chasing us, with none other than Saren on your side, and you said Udina was dirty… I'm sorry. It's just that a lot happened really quickly. It's hard to have a gun pointed at you by someone so close." He seemed genuine, and Shepard knew seeing Saren on her side could not have been easy. Ash and Kaidan were fairly close before she died, and that was caused by Saren. She understood how hard it must be working with people you despise.

"It's all right Kaidan, I would also be skeptical if I were you." she said, a soft smile on her face.

"Thanks. But.. that's not the only reason why I'm here." he started "Hackett offered me a position, but… I'd turn it down any day to work on the Normandy again."

She smiled.

"Well then, you can pack" she replied "We need all the help we can get." Kaidan smiled and she walked away. "We leave tonight, so report on the bridge on the double" she commanded, then stepped into the elevator. She wasn't sure if this was a good idea, but she knew Kaidan was a strong biotic, which they lacked at the moment. She hoped this would turn out all right, and if not, she can always think of something. She pressed the button and the elevator took her to the bay where the Normandy parked. As soon as she stepped on the ship and found no one on it yet apart from Garrus, the darkness started creeping in.

Her thoughts were again around Thane and Mordin, and her hands suddenly started shaking. Tension started building in her chest and she suddenly felt sick. She needed to calm down, so she headed in the direction of the only thing that calmed her down whenever she needed to. She was down in the shuttle bay in a minute, but as she walked towards the gym, she started hearing noises.

It sounded like as if someone was battling, but struggling really hard. She could clearly hear the bags being destroyed, but also caught up on some unrecognizable curses her translator struggled with. She opened the door, and found the room completely destroyed, with a shirtless Saren in the middle.

All of the punching bags apart from one - which he was battling with at the moment - were completely destroyed, and he was standing in the middle of the chaos, destroying the last one as well. He was so immersed in his ritual, he didn't notice her entering, which hinted at the level of concentration he had. Turians had superior hearing, that included hearing the heartbeats of most of the squishy races from steps away, and therefore it was almost impossible to sneak up on any of them.

But she succeeded, by accident. What an achievement, she thought to herself as a smile spread across her face. She leaned to the wall and just watched him.

He struck at the bag like it was his mortal enemy, and punch after punch, the bag was giving in to him. This was spectre grade equipment Shepard bought from special stock, and he was going through it like paper. He moved fast, but she always knew his best was not in speed, but in force. His muscles streched with every strike, each resulting in the bag giving noises of horror, and she imagined enemies in the place of the bag.

No wonder everyone was afraid of him, he was a real destroyer. And now he noticed her.

His bright blue eyes fixed on her suddenly, and as he exhaled, he instinctively flexed his talons while he removed his hands from the bag, ripping the poor punching bag open. Coarse sand started flowing out of it in the middle.

"Fucking finally!" he panted, growling at her with anger in his eyes "I thought you'd never come back. These bags serve me no purpose..." There was a hunger in his eyes, like he needed a pray, someone who was strong enough to entertain him. She took a couple of steps, ending up inches away from his face.

He was an extraordinary sight.

He towered over her, tall and muscular, and his plates were pale as snow. His whole chest and shoulders moved with every ragged breath, his fingers flexing, waiting for the fight, hungry for the damage. Her chest suddenly sank from anticipation. She came here to beat her sadness out and had found the perfect opponent once again. And he was waiting for her too.

"Those bags are spectre grade, and you destroyed them like they're cheap geth" she hissed, her husky voice waking his predatory instincts "What are you going to train with now?" she teased.

"You" he demanded. His resolve was solid, his look piercing.

"What an answer" she laughed, and in a second, they were at each other's throats.

They were cruel.

Saren concentrated on working out the injury he got from that damn assassin and Jane focused on forgetting the darkness inside of her mind - and it worked surprisingly well. They didn't fight like how they did last time, but much harder. Strike followed after strike and they both got lost in a second. There was no time or space anymore, they just both took their rage out on each other, or with each other. It was hard to tell from how the world revolved around them as they spinned, flying into the sand, crushing into the wall, falling on the floor. With every move they sank deeper into their own minds. They quickly destroyed the room in their wrath, and it wasn't long before the smell of blood started lingering in the air.

"So, here" Garrus said, showing the gym to Kaidan who just arrived and did not have the chance to check that room out yet. The major looked around, and Garrus continued: "It's a bit different from before, we have more stuff in it now..."

Weirdly, he stopped in the middle of his sentence and as Kaidan walked further into the bay, Garrus looked to the side in silence.

"What's wrong?" he asked, but Garrus said nothing. His nose plates moved as if he smelled something, and his mandibles clicked in anxiousness. Then Kaidan heard it. Noises emanated from the corner of the bay, noises similar to a fight. His thoughts immediately wandered to Saren who was also on the ship, and he immediately started in the direction he heard the voices from. Garrus followed him. There was a door in the corner.

"The gym" was all Garrus said, and he took a step backwards. The display on the door indicating the status was going crazy - it went from green to red suddenly. After a few seconds they heard a loud thud and it went to green again, only to turn yellow and start crashing, as if someone was giving unclear instructions. He smelled the blood and heard the fight, and he already knew they were sparring.

"That bastard!" Kaidan's face went pale as she heard Shepard's cry. He stepped forward in haste to access the door when Garrus caught him by the shoulder and pulled him back. That was his luck.

Not even a second later, the display suddenly turned to green again, the door swooshed open, and Saren practically flew out of the gym, right towards Kaidan. A cry of pain escaped his throat as he crashed onto the ground, blue blood covering his lips. Shepard was not far behind, as a second later she was on Saren, landing a blow in his face.

The turian reached up and caught her by the throat, his talons digging into her skin and he turned her as they went. He crashed her to the ground and held her by the neck. He leaned down on her, looking right into her eyes.

"Not bad" he exhaled, then released her neck and stood straight up. Every part of his body was crying from pain, and he could see the same on Jane, even though she was already getting up like nothing had happened.

"What the hell was that?" came a voice from the side, and Saren met the eyes of a very angry, worried and confused Kaidan.

Saren looked at Jane, ignoring Kaidan without a second thought, and asked: "Are you recruiting idiots now too?"

Garrus and Jane started laughing at the same time.

"Kaidan, we were sparring" she smiled while casually taking Saren's hand who helped her up. "It's one of my favourite turian customs, it keeps you on your toes."

Kaidan's face was blank as a white wall, still processing the information. Sparring? Turian customs? If she wanted to spar, why did she chose Saren and not him? He was a human after all, he would have been a much better choice.

The two turians left in the meantime and Shepard remained there with Kaidan.

"It's all right, Kaidan, don't worry" Jane said softly, wiping the blood off her lips. It was a hell of a fight, and even though every bone in her body was screeching in pain, it was worth it. Nothing could work her out like a sparring session with Saren did.

"It's all right?" he snapped "Shepard, he's a lot stronger than you, you don't even have armor on! Not to mention that if his goal is to betray you, you're giving him a free try!"

Now that was a reaction, she thought. She crossed her arms and sank into her right hip.

"You think I'm not as strong as him?" a smile spread across her face.

"No, I mean, yes - Wait, what?"

She laughed.

The two turians entered the elevator, and Saren pushed the button. They heard Shepard and Kaidan's conversation, but as the doors closed silence settled on them. In the same moment, Garrus moved like lightning, and crushed Saren to the wall of the elevator so hard, the metal let out a blunt sound on impact.

"I don't care about you sparring, or whatever the fuck that was" he growled aggressively, his face inches away from Saren's. "But if you draw another drop of her blood again, I'm going to rid you of your pale scales one by one!"

The fire in his eyes was vicious, not bearing any resistance.

Saren's mandibles clicked in a smile, baring his teeth.

"She's not some weak daisy, you should know that by now" he said, confident, not afraid of the sniper.

"She's not, but she's under my protection. If you hurt her, you'll regret it!"

Saren pushed him away, and Garrus' back hit the other wall of the elevator.

"There's only one problem with that" Saren growled "She's not yours to protect!"

The elevator door opened, and he left Garrus there, boiling in anger.