Because I'm on a roll and I figured you should benefit from my good fortune.

8

"There's a reason most movies and books about the arts are pretty much an elaborated 'follow your dreams!' pep talk. Trying to be successful with art is the definition of discouraging. Everyone has their own taste, and the internet just waters down everything further. We don't need to pay anyone to get our art anymore, it's floating around in the ether, free for grabs. Why pay for art when you can just get something else equally good for free online?

And most of these movies were made before the internet was a big thing, which means it was discouraging even back in 'the good ol' days.'

You're welcome."

Actually, learning about how to do a water pressure test was pretty interesting. Through it, I vicariously learned how to rebuild the plumbing of an entire sink if I had to. Mario Mai is in the house. I found I got a lot less flack from professor Naru (for narcissist, because he really is, you should have heard him gloating at lunch) when I actually got involved and expressed my enjoyment too. Because, obviously, he must not have noticed that in class. All he saw was my Bugs Bunny essays and that one time he caught me sleeping.

I don't do well on low sleep, okay? Graveyard shifts would kill me.

Which is why I just stared when he asked me if I was ready for my first night shift.

"You are to accurately keep all the records of the temperatures as well as any phenomenon that could be even remotely possible. If anything major occurs, you can wake me, but otherwise, we'll be reviewing the recordings tomorrow." The straight-line of a smile that wasn't quite a smile. "Hopefully, you don't miss anything major again."

"Your faith in me is riveting," I said.

"Would you like a coffee or anything to help?"

"You got any Monster drinks?"

Hey, why'd I get the cool stare for that! Does drinking Monster energy drinks when I did (attempted) all-nighters make me an automatic moron in his eyes?

"I'd prefer to get you coffee," he said.

"Fine, but I like them really sweet and with lots of cream."

"That will dilute the caffeine."

"Then just get me a Monster. Why do you care anyway? Caffeine is caffeine, either way, I'm not going to get a heart attack and die from it."

He sighed, as he often did around me, and left the parlor. I had just gotten comfortable in my chair with my legs cross in the lotus position and my elbows on my knees when he came back in.

"Wow, that was quick."

He raised an eyebrow. "Did you expect me to hunt down a Starbucks?"

He set a large thermos in front of me. I sniffed it. Yep. Coffee. Anything else of dubious nature I'd find out once it cooled.

"A 'your welcome' would be nice."

"Welcome," I tried to breathe in the steam to get a bit of the taste. There was a scent of sweetness in there.

I expected something smart alick about how that wasn't good enough or some final reminders of things that would make me feel like an idiot, but he just walked out. Almost made the room feel colder, but that had to be in my head. The thermostat next to my hand hadn't even flickered.

The first hour or so, I did alright. Takigawa and Ayako stopped by before heading in to wish me well in my caffeinated endeavor. Lin came by too, but it was just to make sure that everything was working because perish the thought that I couldn't make sure a camera was turned on.

Then came the quiet…and the boredom.

Since I was wearing headphones, I thought about getting away with playing on my phone, but then the memory of the prof crucifying me where I drooled on my desk crossed my mind. Let's just say, for once, I could get him to praise me. Just once…

Oh, what a lofty dream

Still, it made my heart speed up and warm.

Around midnight, though, I was sucking at the coffee like an IV and nodding off at the same time.

"This can't be happening," I said across the aftertaste of Irish Creamer. The prof's homemade coffee wasn't all that bad.

I'd heard two people flush the toilet, and the distant sound of traffic worked better on me than a lullaby. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Like freaking ocean waves.

I took off the headphones to clear the sweat that had gathered there. It was then that I noticed the sound of rain on the windows.

Aw great…rain made me want to sleep even more. Especially when I thought about it being a cold, late October rain. Then I wanted to curl up in Mom's comforter and nurse an apple cider, not this strong coffee stuff.

To rest my strained hearing, I gave myself a moment to sip and close my eyes, which were burning from staring at monitors.

"There's got to be a better way of doing this…" but even as I looked at the back of my eyelids, an image rose up, half transparent in the way half-awake dreams are. It was difficult to make out, except I could see…the prof? Or rather, my subconscious's version of him, because he was smiling at me in a strange, soft way, like he thought I was cute or something…

Naru's hurt.

I jerked awake. There had been something else, but those words were the only ones that stood out enough. Slapping my cheeks and shaking my head, I looked back over the monitors, lingering on the ones over Naru's bathroom and bedroom area.

Naru hadn't moved a muscle. He still lay on his side, dark hair sprawled across the pillows, fast asleep. All the black of the darkness and his hair brought out the paleness of his face, half lit by orange street light. The infrared square in the corner told me nothing had changed in the temperature.

Yeah, watching for ghosts makes you kind of a creep.

Still, an uneasy feeling had filled my stomach, not unlike the anxiety that you had forgotten something important…like your PJs.

It wouldn't hurt to check on him…

Not to mention a short walk would help my legs wake up.

After a good stretch, I got up and padded my socked way to the second floor, where I knew his room to be.

I knocked first. "Prof?"

When I heard nothing, my stomach lurched a bit. My hand on the doorknob had become clammy.

"Professor?" I opened the door.

A trickle of something musky, kind of like bread ovens and leather, wafted over me. I instantly recognized it as his scent, but when I had been close enough to smell him I couldn't remember. Maybe when he took off his coat in the entryway?

I tiptoed to the bed.

"Professor Davis."

Gal, I'd never taken him for a heavy sleeper. More like the type to stay half-way awake at all times so he could sear any idiots who dared to walk past his room.

It wasn't till I was beside him and looking down at his face, striped with that orange light, that I said, "Naru."

His eyes snapped open. At the sight of me, he shot up, rubbing his face hard.

"What happened?" Straight to business. He didn't even sound like he had been asleep. Really hope he wasn't laying there just listening to me call him professor over and over. That's not exactly sexy.

"Are you hurting anywhere?" I asked.

He lowered his hand to just look over it at me. I couldn't make out the expression on his dark eyes.

"What made you think that I would be?"

I threw up my hands, which were still sweating, by the way. "I just—" I couldn't say I'd fallen asleep. "Got this feeling you were—I mean, I got these words in my head that you were hurt and I even kinda saw you being creepy smiley again…" Oh gravy, I shouldn't have come up here. That all sounded way worse than it actually was. "Nevermind, I'm sorry. I'll go back."

I turned, but he caught my wrist.

"What did you just call me?"

"Uh…huh?"

"When I woke up, you didn't call me professor."

My stomach, which had been all over the place before, backed up and hid behind my liver.

"Naru?"

He blinked. I could make that much out.

"Where did you get that from?"

"Um, well, I was just sort of thinking the other day how you were acting like a narcissist and Naru sounded a lot like narcissist…" I stopped. "Wait, they hardly sound alike. Except the 'nar'." Narcy would have worked better, now that I was really thinking about it.

When he didn't say anything else, but still kept a hold on my wrist, I became hyper aware of that bread and leather scent, and that I was alone in my professor's room, next to his bed.

He let go just as I was about to say something about that.

"Are you falling asleep already? Do I need to get one of the others up with you?"

Huh. That was rather nice. "Ayako is really crabby when her beauty sleep is interrupted, and I don't want to bother Takigawa. He's, uh," what, thinks I'm a seven? Oh, excuse me, seven and a half. Why wasn't I flattered?

The prof gave a nod.

"I'll come down then. At least with me sleeping on the couch, you'll be more likely to stay on your toes, in case I catch you nodding off."

Why did that make my heart speed up and warm again? Shut up, organs! I'm a negative two—no, that didn't even matter, no. Just, no.

"If that's what you want, Prof. But I can do it myself."

He raised an eyebrow.

I scowled. "Don't look so disbelieving. You don't know my sleeping habits."

"You're the type that falls asleep anywhere at the drop of a dime if they don't get their full 8 hours of sleep."

I flinched. "Okay, that's just creepy."

"Not that hard to tell," he swung his legs around and pushed to his feet. I couldn't help but stare a bit as he gathered his blanket about his shoulders, swamping him and making him look younger than ever. "Lead on."

I could practically feel his cute, blanket garbed shuffling behind me as I went back stairs.

Yeah, this was weird.

"I'm sorry for waking you up. You really can go to bed."

"You wouldn't have gotten that dream if you hadn't been falling asleep."

Another flinch on my part. "Oh, come on, I wasn't asleep."

"About to."

"But I didn't. Besides, if my dreams are so important to you, why keep me up all night?"

"Doing night watches are part of the business. Not everything can be caught on a recording. Especially when one has to also be awake and listening to their clairvoyance."

Why did that feel like another jab?

In the parlor, I swiftly returned to my seat and did a quick glance over of all the screens, jamming the headphones on my head. Just rain. Oh, and that cold spot had returned on the third floor in the empty guest room.

"Huh. That one cold spot's back."

The prof looked over my shoulder as he passed, giving me an especially strong whiff of the bread and leather again.

"Hmm. We should check it out."

"Then who would be watching the cameras?"

"One of us can watch the cameras while the other goes up." He thought for a moment. "How about you go? It will be a good experience for you. I'll call you if anything happens, so you won't be alone."

Why did I suddenly feel like he was trying to avoid me being alone? Oh, well, if my dreams were a sort of prophetic thing, the one I'd had with all the spiders had been 'don't be alone'ish. Maybe he's just being cautious.

Though I didn't think that's what dream-him meant. Not just physically alone…

"Besides, some more exercise will help you stay up." He nudged my shoulder to get out of the seat. I complied.

"Oh, wow, why do I feel so impressed with your chivalry?"

Cue the cool 'you're stupid' stare.

"Okay, okay, I'm going, stop looking so demeaning. Frick, rude."

"Have your phone on you?"

"Yeah?"

He hesitated. "You weren't playing on it while you were watching—"

"No," I said, actually happy I could answer honestly. "I actually do take my studies seriously, you know."

"Why? Have an especially deep interest in horror novels?"

Yes, but that wasn't the point.

"Whatever," he said before I could come up with something to say. "Just go while the cold spot is still there."

I did so, shivering as my once warm feet chilled on the steps. By the time I was halfway up the third staircase, I could feel the burning in my calves and began to debate taking up a PE class. Yeah, I'd always been more into reading books in a warm corner than running around, but seriously, this was just sad.

I prayed to whoever was listening that Naru couldn't hear my light panting on the watching cameras.

There's that name again…

I had been so ridiculously pleased with myself. I had thought myself so funny and creative. Nevermind the fact that he…wait, the professor hadn't been a bit offended. Then again, he didn't strike me as the person to be offended easily. Easy to talk you down and talk smack, maybe, not actually be hurt. He was above that.

I came back to the present with another nervous jerk of my stomach as I wrapped my hand around the door handle. It was one of the few doors that had retained their old fashion, crystal-like doorknobs, and the edges had been smoothed by hands over time.

This time, the waft of someone's scent didn't go over me. The bedroom smelled of the same cleaners that had been used in the rest of the mansion. It was pitch dark. Not even the streetlights made it around the curtains, either because I had reached a shaded side of the house or the room just had those awesome, hotel-grade blackout curtains.

My toes hit the edge of the carpet after two steps in. It was stiff enough to hurt my cold toes. I hissed through my teeth, but after wagging my foot around, I stepped further in.

Now, where had the cold spot been? I took a moment to recall where the camera was and the situation of the cold spot. It had been somewhere next to the bed, on the right side? Maybe?

When a wave of chill air went over me, raising all the hair on my body, I knew I had found it.

Okay, now what?

"Hello?" I asked, feeling really stupid and knowing my professor would have a whole bag of flack to give me when I got back.

I stood there for a moment, trying to clear my mind as instructed in step one of ghost hunting. It was always crucial to have a clear mind…

But once I had cleared my mind, the prof's question ran through my head.

Why?

I didn't have to answer that. Not about Mom. Not about being a sociopath. Not about being alone.

Really alone.

The last time I had a best friend? The last time I thought about getting a boyfriend? The last time I had cried in front of someone—the last time I had actually cried? Even as I thought on it, concluding to myself that my subconscious had meant these other types of loneliness, I felt colder. Where were my emotions? Why, even now, in the midst of a possible ghost, did I still feel so numb?

But I hadn't been numb. Hadn't my heart been warming and doing the hippity hop crap?

Well, hormones could do that to a body. The prof was unfairly hot.

But was it no wonder that no one wanted to be my friend? Or, once they got close enough, they would know…they would reach in, reaching for me, and feel nothing. No affection, no support, no nothing…

All a sudden, the sheer gaping lack of connection fell over me, gaping, dark, and impossibly heavy.

I was alone. No one cared.

I leaned my head back and sat down on the bed, tired. I knew these thoughts. It was the truth, whispering to me again. You didn't even morn the loss of your last family…

You'll always be like this.

My phone vibrated against my leg. I jumped and pulled it out of my pants pocket.

"Yeah, Prof?"

"Why are you just sitting there?"

"Just sat down. I am tired, you know." Tired. So tired.

I got a silence filled with the sound of his disbelief. Sitting? On a case? With a ghost? Though, now that I thought about it, the air wasn't even cold anymore. At least I had stopped shivering.

"Get back down here."

He hung up on me, and I sighed into the black. I could suddenly understand the random desire to please the prof. Why I hadn't just played solitaire or whatever. I was reaching for connection again. What, did I think his aloofness would apply to my lack of soul? That he would just blink at me with that cool 'you're stupid' stare and move along, unfazed by the lack of feeling in me?

Back downstairs, the heaviness lingered.

The prof turned about imperiously in the swivel chair.

"What was that about?"

I blinked. "I just sat down, nothing big."

"You didn't just sit down. Something changed. You're whole posture, the temp—what were you thinking?"

"Thinking? Oh, nothing. Just about being tired." A cold jaw clamped about the voice in my head answering his question.

I was an idiot, but I wasn't going to be that much of an idiot.

He looked at me for a few seconds longer, measuring me, I knew, then he got up and went to the couch, dragging his blanket behind him like a kingly robe. I couldn't help but smile a bit at that. Man, this guy…

"Did you feel anything?" he asked.

It would be harder to fudge things here. "I did feel the cold spot. Made all my hair rise up, like a hedgehog."

"Anything else?"

"…Kind of lonely, I guess. Because it was so dark."

He considered this. Meanwhile, I snapped the headphones back on and looked to the screen. The cold spot had moved from the room. Now it was just the various other dotted cold spots that had occurred in the last recordings. They came up every twenty minutes or so.

Through the quiet of the headphones, I heard him speak.

"Tell me a bit about yourself."

"I still need to listen," I said.

"It will record," he said, totally ignoring the fact that he had just said the whole reason I was even awake was that I had to catch things the sensors did not. "What caught your interest about parapsychology? It can't be my rugged good looks."

Oh god, he really was a narcissist.

I shrugged. "I guess it…makes me more comfortable with the dead." There, that was true enough.

"You're afraid of them?"

"Not particularly." I sighed. "Okay, I do like horror novels a bit. There, mock me."

"So you'd have no reason to be uncomfortable, it seems. Why do you need more comfort?"

Ok, no. "Naru, it's getting seriously creepy, you asking all these personal questions. What happened to the aloof, I-don't-care-about-your-pathetic-lives professor I'm used to?"

"I'm not that heartless. Though you are right, I don't particularly care to know the private life of my students."

Every essay he'd torn apart in front of the whole class begged to differ that he didn't just not care about private life or that flat way he was never impressed with any of our answers.

But he did stop prodding. I drank some more coffee, burned my eyes a bit more on the screens and eventually got a tension headache behind them. Cold spots drifted across the wall of screens like blue foxfires drifting through a forest of green night vision.

Until they actually became little fires, drifting about me in the darkness. It had gotten cold, and the little fires did nothing to warm me.

No one would care. No one would even know.

I leaned my head back, breathing into the heavy cold within me. The heavy knowledge I held so tightly for so long.

Mom, I'm sorry. You can come home now. I'll help you with the money. Let me get to know you again, please.

Because, besides her Navajo bed cover, I had forgotten. Even the smell she had left that put me to sleep so well was gone.