Chapter 5

Shellshocked tides

When Max woke up, she was in a dark room, and now literally soaking in the green slime that caused her to say that her wallet tasted nice. That, and she was naked, say for her undergarments. She frantically squirmed, trying to get out of the purple sack. A voice nearby said, "hAvinG trouble there?" Max turned her head(which was really the only part of her body that was still mobile inside of the sack), and saw a troll that was half of Arlene's height, sitting next to the sack with her face buried in her phone. "Who the heck are you?" "mY nAme's pOppie. i'm Arlene's YOunGer sister." "What happened to the purple mongoose? And why am I currently bathing in a pool of slime that made me talk about how palatable my wallet is?" "purple… mOngOOse?!" "Yeah, right before I blacked out, I saw one hit me with a croquet mallet." "i dOn't knOw AnYthinG AbOut AnY mOngeese, let AlOne A purple One, but i did hAve tO knOck YOu Out with a crOquet mAllet." "Wait, that means… you were the purple mongoose!" "dO i lOOk like A FuckinG mOngOOse tO YOu?! YOu were hiGh On the sOpOr slime!" "Ah, yes. Speaking of which, how do I get out of this…?" "recuperAcOOn." "Whatever, how do I get out?" Poppie stood up and strolled out of the room. "What are you doing?!" "GettinG A bOttle Of pAm."

That statement confused max for a second before she rolled her eyes and said, "why not get the crowbar while your at it?" There was a loud noise that sounded like metal scraping against stone. "==}-POPPIE! THAT WAS HYPERBOLE!-{==" "Oh, YOu're nO Fun AnYmOre!" Poppie came back into the room shortly, with the aforementioned can of PAM, and said, "hOld still." "==}-POPPIE, STOP THIS NOW!-{==" "uGh, Fine! just A secOnd!" Poppie threw the can of pam off to the side, and grabbed Max by her head and pulled her out of the recuperacoon with a loud "schlorp," and flinging her into the wall behind her. Fortunately, the sopor seemed to cushion her fall, as it didn't hurt as much as it did the last time someone, or rather, something had flung her into a wall with incredible force.

Arlene ran into the room, and max just sorta slid down the side of the wall and onto the floor. Arlene said, "==}-Hey Max! How are you doing?-{==" Max slipped slightly as she tried to regain her footing, and she grunted a reply; "I'm doing fine. Your sister is super strong, given her size." "i'm AlsO cOvered in sOpOr slime, sO iF YOu dOn't mind, i think i'm GOnnA tAke A shOwer." Poppie ran out of the room, and back up the flight of stairs that lead down to the basement. Arlene turned to max and held out a towel, as well as some fresh clothes. "Thanks, Arlene." "==}-You're welcome.-{==" However, what neither of them knew was that at that very moment, a swarm of Andarsian drones were surrounding the house, and ready to attack the three of them. The drones were actually quite careful when invading the house, as they actually entered through a sliding glass door in the back of the house. It also helped them avoid detection until it was too late. When Max and Arlene got upstairs, they were completely surrounded.

Max looked around as the drones drew closer to her, each one was unarmed, but without the ability to turn into any Kamen Rider, brute strength was all they really needed to fight against Max and Arlene. Two of the drones quickly grabbed Max, and restrained her. Two more cornered Arlene. Another pair of drones ran up the stairs to the bathroom, and ran in on Poppie, who was in the middle of getting ready to take her bath when the two drones walked in on her. "OkAY, whY the heck Are there drOnes in the bAthrOOm?!"

One of the drones next to Arlene said, "Arlene Riyzer; You are hereby charged with the creation of Kamen Rider sol; responsible for over ten million galactic units in property damages against the Andarsian armies. You are hereby summoned to stand trial and atone for your sins. Failure to comply will result in the termination of your sister and your accomplice. Termination will commence in 3… 2… 1…" "==}-Fine, I surrender!-{==" "Ha ha, that was a lie, we're still going to kill them anyways!" A beeping noise came from the bathroom upstairs and the drone holding Arlene said, "unit Omega-75 has detected visual anomaly in bathroom mirror. Provide visual to commanding unit."

In the upstairs bathroom, the, "visual anomaly," stood confidently, with it's arms crossed, and a smirk on it face. It quickly raised something up to the mirror and silently mouthed the words, "Kamen Rider," before a flash of green light obscured him from view. As the drones re-adjusted, there was a noise that sounded like a, "Schlorp," as the mirror's surface began to ripple like water. A voice came from the other side of the mirror; "}]- ( Hey, buddy? Take some time to reflect on your actions!" A hand shot out of the mirror, and grabbed the drone by it's head, pulling it into the mirror as a figure in swamp green armor emerged from the other side.

The figure quickly grabbed a part of his belt and raised it to the mirror, causing the rear half of the drone to fall to the floor. The figure then placed the tablet back into his belt before pulling a card out of the tablet, and placing it into a gauntlet. The gauntlet yelled, "Sword vent!" And a bizarre saber came out of the mirror. The figure ran out of the bathroom, leaving a flustered Poppie in his wake. The figure entered the kitchen, and cleaved two of the drones in half. The figure then charged the two drones restraining Max, pulling the sword into two smaller swords which he rammed through the drones. The drones slumped onto the ground, making a fizzling noise that signified their demise. The figure spun around as two more drones tried to take him from behind, and cleaved them in half from head to toe. The figure whirled around dramatically as the drones fell to the ground and snapped his fingers. "}]- (Time for you guys to split." The two drones exploded, and Arlene grabbed a fire extinguisher and rushed to put the fire out. "==}-Who the heck are you?!-{==" The figure jabbed his sword into the ground and leaned up against it. "}]- ( An ancient warrior, tasked by the gods to protect others from evil! but you may call me kamen rider RIPTIDE!"

"==}-Cerrul.-{==" The figure perked up, "{]- ( Who's Cerrul?" "==}-Take the fucking helmet off.-{==" The figure sighed, and pulled the plastic tablet out of his belt, and said, "|]- ( power down." Swamp green rings of energy surrounded him, and swept over his body, causing the armor to disappear, revealing he was a very scrawny troll with horns shaped like chopsticks. "{ :- ) So, how's life been treating you Arley?!" Arlene pulled her wrench out and gently tapped the troll on the head, causing the troll to flop onto the ground like a ragdoll. Max stood up and said, "who the hell is that?" "==}-My ex-moirail, Cerrul Lianne.-{==" "I beg your pardon?" "==}-On Alternia, relationships are organized into four categories: matesprit, which is a spousal relationship, moirail, which is an intimate relationship, Auspistice, which is a relationship mediated between two people, and kismesis, which is basically hate love.-{==" "Isn't that contradictory?" "==}-Yes.-{==" "If he was your boyfriend, why'd you hit him with a wrench?" "==}-Ever had someone almost completely destroy your laboratory as well as evidently steal your life's work as well as getting your Lusus culled?-{==" "No, and about half of that stuff flew over my head, but assuming by how oddly specific you were being that that's exactly what happened." "==}-Yeah…! Pretty much!-{=="

Another voice came from behind them, "just GGonna clear this up: we DDid NNot steal AAnyone's technology." Everyone-minus Cerrul-turned around in time to see a figure in orange armor similar to Cerrul's exit the sliding glass door, and power down to reveal he too was a troll, with an olive green sign on his shirt that looked like a curly-q made of right angles connected to a circle. "And who the fuck are you?" "ZZander GGamera, otherwise known AAs kamen RRider shellshock." "How many of us are there?!" "==}-Clearly more than I originally surmised.-{==" "i'm cerrul's RRoommate. it's NNice to MMeet you." Max hesitantly reached out to shake Zander's hand, "Max." "NNice to MMeet you, MMax." Poppie ran into the room, and yelled, "i hAve questiOns!" Zander looked at Poppie and said, "i have AAnswers." "whO the hell wAs thAt whO cAme Out Of the mirrOr? whY is YOur ex here? And mOst impOrtAntlY, Are the drOnes GOne nOw?" Zander sighed and rolled his eyes. "first off, that was cerrul. second, he AAnd I AAre here because we were told to. AAnd lastly, yes, they AAre gone NNow." "uGh, thAnk YOu! iF YOu dOn't mind, i'm GOnnA tAke A shOwer withOut AnY drOnes cOminG in and tAkinG AwAY mY privAcY!"

As Poppie marched back to the bathroom and locked the door, Zander grabbed Cerrul by the legs, and dragged him back to the glass door. "see you AAround." "==}-Why will we be seeing you around?-{==" "we're kamen RRiders. fighting injustice is just what we DDo. whelp, see you AAround." There was a "schlorp," and both Cerrul and Zander disappeared into the glass door. Arlene and Max just stood there in silence for what felt like several hours. Max eventually broke the silence by yawning and saying, "so, we start work on fixing the Sol Driver tomorrow?" Arlene looked down at her watch and said, "==}-Yeah, it's almost 10, we'll and then start work on fixing the belt tomorrow.-{==" Max walked up the stairs to her room, and yawned again. She made her way over to her bed and fell down onto the mattress. As she sat there, soaking up the silence, a question buzzed in the back of her head; how had she known how to fix that gun? She dwelled on it for another minute before she finally fell asleep.