She was in the forest again. The flow of shadows never stopped, they followed, cornered her. She could barely move as everything became foggy and wet, the darkness creeping into everything. She heard Thane's voice, heard Mordin's song as it danced in the distance, but she could not reach them, it doesn't matter how hard she tried. Then she heard another voice. A voice that was deep as darkspace as it rang around her, like a ghost.

"It's too strong!"

She stood up, trying to find Saren, turning and looking everywhere, desperately running to reach him, but all that she was left with was his voice.

"Jane" it called her, searching for her. From the distance it sounded again:

"You already know me better than those rats."

She opened her eyes, slowly, like she was waking from a sleep of a thousand years. She looked at the clock and it was only half an hour later. She felt like she couldn't take it anymore. They were en route to Rannoch to help the quarians, and her stomach was in nuts. What if something happens? What if she loses Tali or Garrus too? What if the reapers win?

She sat up. Her hands were shaking, her body was craving rest, but her brain could not stop. She had the same dreams, over and over again and now Saren was in them. She curled up, trying to shake the thought of not being able to see him again.

She couldn't.

She knew there was still a couple hours until they reach the relay to Rannoch. She somehow had to eliminate that time, make it pass faster, but there was nothing she could do. She left her quarters the way she was, in her casuals, and stepped out of the elevator like a ghost. She started for the bridge, not even knowing her destination. On her way, she felt something, and she looked up.

She stopped immediately.

Saren was standing in front of her, leaving the bridge, just noticing her and stopping in his tracks. Their eyes met, and she couldn't hide her agony. She knew she looked like a mess, she knew he saw it, there was no going back. She couldn't keep her face up any longer, even if he was disappointed in her. He was so strong, but she felt crushed. He stood there, frozen in time, not an inch of his body moving.

He was looking at Jane, just noticing her. She looked like a zombie, and he could not stand it. He didn't know why did he even care, but it moved something in him. He didn't care for anyone, ever, but this woman was so different, he just couldn't ignore her. He stood there, waiting for her to come at him, scold him for the way he talked to her yesterday, but again, she surprised him. Her face turned even paler, her eyebrows raised a bit, and he could swear he saw something glisten in her eyes. But no rage.

He knew she was disappointed in him. He did nothing, nothing to win this war and she was right. He did not belong on this ship, he didn't belong anywhere. Since that mission on the Citadel, he lost his strength, maybe his half existence was catching up to him.

He couldn't look into her eyes like this.

She noticed him dropping his head, and just as if she was a ghost, he passed her by, and left the bridge. The sorrow she felt almost trapped the air in her lungs. She didn't need something anymore to pass time, because after this, it just faded away, and she circled on the ship like a lingering ghost.

By the time the quarian admirals boarded the ship, Jane was just a shell of her old self. At this point she wasn't sleeping properly for more than a week. They gathered in the war room for a quick meeting.

"Seventeen days ago, the quarians initiated a war to retake our homeworld" explained Gerrel. Koris interrupted him:

"That was a clear violation of the treaty with the Citadel to avoid provoking the geth!"

"What's a little violation compared to retake Rannoch?" asked Xen.

"We lost the homeworld, because we tried to kill the geth!"

"We didn't kill them, we tried to deactivate them. It wasn't murder!" she argued. It was clear that the admirals weren't even clear on their own history, and the arguments that spanned from this will doom their people. Jane raised a hand to her temple in agony.

"Nope. It was murder." she added "And now you're on the geth again?"

"We had driven the geth back to the home system, when this signal started broadcasting" said Gerrel, bringing up a holo of Rannoch "It's a reaper signal. Under their control the geth are significantly more effective. They are destroying our Civilian fleet."

"Which you decided to involve! We are killing our own people in the process!" said Koris, visibly angry.

"Where is the signal coming from?" Jane asked. Just as she finished her question, the door swooshed open and revealed a familiar face: Tali stepped into the war room.

"A geth dreadnought" she said, approaching Shepard. The commander's face lit up a bit, but she knew Tali was a professional. They nodded to each other, then Tali continued: "We need to disable the broadcasting signal from inside that ship. The Normandy can take us in."

"While you can retreat with your fleet and regroup." Jane added, eyeing the other admirals. "I'll ready a team to hit the dreadnought."

"Thank you commander." nodded Raan. After that, they all dismissed themselves from the Normandy, apart from Tali, who stayed with Jane. They entered the meeting room, and started off their conversation with a big hug.

"Keelah, Shepard, you look like you're dead!" she hissed with not a small amount of worry in her voice. Jane stepped back and turned around so Tali couldn't see her face.

"It's nothing serious, just a bit of stress." she dismissed, even though she felt like shit.

"I'm sorry about Mordin and Thane. We all miss them a lot." Tali said in a grieving tone, her head dropped.

"Yeah..." Jane sighed, not being able to say more. She was dry, lost.

"Is… your new guest coming with us on the mission?" Tali changed the topic. Jane knew she was talking about Saren: she knew about him practically from the first day they picked him up, considering they were exchanging emails almost every week. Tali did not like this Saren situation at all, but she couldn't deny the fact that it would have been a great waste of resource to leave him. And knowing Shepard, she wasn't worried about Saren being here. Jane was always a lot different than the other humans, and she was surprised that Saren didn't switch sides sooner. The way they fought on Virmire or the Citadel, it was apparent that there was a strange dynamic between them from the first second they met.

"He has to" Jane started, turning around. Her face was uncomfortable, and she looked like she wasn't really keen on bringing him along. Something was really off here, Tali thought. Jane continued: "I need your knowledge and Saren's experience. He worked with the geth before, he'll be able to maneuver us on the dreadnought."

Tali wanted to ask why she seemed to resent the idea of Saren coming with them, but she decided not to push the topic. She seemed ragged and tired, and they had a whole mission ahead of them. She'll talk to her afterwards.

The little quarian Jane brought with her to the mission proved quite useful. While Saren was adept at finding his way on the ship, this Tali was opening and bypassing every door that was in their way. She also strangely did not seem upset about him being around: she looked right through him, not bothered by his presence. Saren had the feeling this girl knew about him residing on the Normandy… maybe she was also close to Jane.

But despite everything, something was not right. He missed a couple of shots, and it started to anger him. On top of everything, Jane did not respond to any of his moves. She was operating like any other human marine on the battlefield, and the usual playfulness and upfront tactics were nowhere to be found. She was heavy, unresponsive and almost cautious. There were thousands of chances to show off her powers, but she never did. It was strange, frustrating, but also easier on him at the same time. Because by the time they got to the drive core, his head was pounding like there was no tomorrow.

But once they entered the drive core of the ship, Jane's mood shifted somewhat. There was a geth unit there, who was their friend apparently: This was "Legion" she talked about after Tuchanka. The geth who turned on the rest of his kind. It seemed even the quarian was friendly towards Legion.

[You need to free us, Shepard Commander] Legion said [Through our networking architecture, the core broadcasts the reaper signal to all geth, simultaneously.]

"Motherfuckers" was all Saren commented, his voice low and dangerous.

Legion talked them through the process of freeing him from the physical restraints, and he was back in business in no time. He also managed to disable all shields and weapons of the dreadnought in the process. In any other scenario, Saren would have been impressed by this one little geth, but he was so disoriented, he had no strength to say anything anymore.

The mission was quite smooth up until this point from an operational perspective, but it quickly went to hell. The remainder of the geth attacked them, and because the ship was now vulnerable, Admiral Gerrel wanted to use this opportunity and started firing on the geth dreadnought - with them still on board. The man was never bright, but this was too much.

They escaped in a geth fighter.

"You colossal asshole!" screamed Jane, her voice thick with anger as she ran through the war room. The admirals gathered there, arguing, but she was aiming at Gerrel. "We were still on the ship!" Saren stopped at the door, observing Jane's actions.

"Commander, the tactical advanta-" he started the argument, but he couldn't finish it. Jane landed a blow right into his stomach, and the quarian tumbled away, falling on the console behind him. Tali and Saren smiled, but Jane didn't stop there. She pushed Garrel on the computer, shouting right into his helmet "Get the fuck off my ship, now!"

And with that, she released him. The admiral shot an angered look at her, but he had no choice, so he left the room.

"Bosh'tet" Tali murmured as the doors closed behind her.

"So" Jane sighed "You mentioned they had a planetary defence cannon?" And with that, her rage was gone. At times she acted like she was dead, then glimpses of the old Jane showed up, and then she suppressed everything. Her mood was changing like the wind. Saren didn't understand.

"Had" Raan replied "Admiral Koris took it out with his ship, but they crash-landed on Rannoch."

"We'll provide rescue efforts."

"Thank you. At least we have the cannon and the reaper-signal countered."

The door swooshed open again.

[Shepard Commander] in walked Legion [We offer assistance.] Jane's expression distorted as she realized his friend just walked into meeting Raan and Xen.

"What the hell is this?" Raan shouted, taking a step back. This conversation started to be amusing for Saren, as he watched from the sidelines. They were so caught up in everything they didn't even realize who he was.

"Okay, calm down!" Shepard explained "His name is Legion, he helped me fight the collectors, he's on our side. The reapers used him as a signal booster on the dreadnought, but we freed him."

"Impressive" said Xen as the surprise went away, and curiosity took over her voice "Maybe we could use this unit to find a hole on the geth consensus, and maybe-"

"You cannot touch him" interrupted Jane immediately "He's my friend, and he's off the table!"

Saren was wondering what this one geth unit meant to Shepard. She was defending it furiously, just like how she did with Tali and the others. And while she appeared strong at the moment, the bags under her eyes were still present, reminding him that just like him, Jane wasn't feeling well either. He was confused. He missed twice on this mission, he was tired, now all of his muscles hurt, and in a state like this, he could not wrap his head around why Jane was this disoriented. He knew she was strong, so he did not understand her weakness now. What had happened to her?

Admiral Xen sighed, giving up on Legion. "All right. At least we have the reaper signal disabled, so we're through the worst, I think."

[That is incorrect] Legion noted [You have destroyed long-range control, but the Old Machines have placed a base on Rannoch to broadcast the signal.]

"What?" the quarians hissed as one.

[They are currently disorganized, but once the short-range broadcast starts, they'll recover.]

That was it. They decided to take a party to Rannoch to infiltrate the base.

Jane just left the room and went up to her cabin to catch her breath. There was no time for anything, they needed to act immediately. She talked to Legion and Tali, and just went for the shuttle.

Saren was standing at the shuttle, waiting for the others.

His bones were so heavy, he couldn't keep his back straight. His whole body was aflame and he had no idea why this was happening. He needed to see Dr. Chakwas after this mission, there was something very wrong with him, he could not deny it any further. Just as he worked this out in himself, he saw Jane rounding the corner.

She reached him, and came to open the shuttle doors, his eyes following her. Instead of pressing the button, her finger stopped mid air, and she turned her head towards him. They looked at each other, and Saren was waiting for the shitstorm that he still didn't get.

She just looked so terrible, it was impossible to think that everything was okay. And this time she did not remain silent.

Jane's pale lips opened, and she quietly spoke:

"I promise we'll soon find you some reapers to destroy." as she finished her sentence, a humble, honest smile spread across her face. It lit up her whole being, even her almond eyes narrowed a bit.

This hit Saren like a freight train. For a second there, he saw the usual Jane, the playful, unpredictable, excellent soldier, who used to dance around him on the battlefield, wrecking everything. His mandibles fluttered unconsciously, taken aback by the sudden warmth of her being. All he did was a stern nod, and watched her entering the vehicle. As her sweet cherry scent filled the shuttle, he decided to sit next to her, for some unknown reason. He had a feeling this mission would go down the shitter. He needed to stay with her.