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v.

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Ding dong!

Mamushi groaned and shifted on her couch. She had been sleeping and was wrapped up in a warm blanket. She blinked her bleary eyes. She awoke to an empty house and immediately wished she hadn't woken up at all.

But then she remembered what she had been dreaming about and was instantly glad that she had been interrupted. She was having the strangest dream about he-who-should-not-be-named. She shuddered to think what would happen if anyone found out that she, on occasion, dreamt about him.

In this instance, she could blame her strange dream, that had left her heart racing and palms sweating, on the fact that she had been running a fever since this morning. Though that didn't explain the other dreams she had every once in a while.

Ding dong, ding dong!

Knock, knock, knock!

Mamushi was reminded of what woke her up in the first place. With a groan, she heaved her aching body up. Her blanket still securely wrapped around her.

Her sisters were away at school and her parents away on an exorcist mission since last week. They were supposed to be back two days ago, but the mission had taken an unexpected turn. Now her parents wouldn't be back till tomorrow. They were very sorry, and promised to make it up to her, but it still meant she was left at home by herself with a terrible fever. And the only one available to answer the door.

She shuffled towards the door as the doorbell went off again. She opened it with a jerk, scowl already on her face. It didn't get better when she saw who was on the other side.

Juuzou stood there with a pleasant smile on his face. He was holding a brown paper bag. Without saying a word, Mamushi quickly tried to shut the door. Key word, "tried".

Juuzou shoved his foot through the gap in the doorway and leaned his weight against it. Mamushi leaned on the other side and tried to push it close.

"Come on, Mamushi. Is this how you treat your guests?" Juuzou said through gritted teeth.

"Get lost! You're not a guest! You're just a monkey!" Mamushi replied, teeth equally gritted.

She did not win the battle over the door. Obviously. Juuzou was much bigger than her and she was sick, but that didn't stop her feeling annoyed that she couldn't keep him out.

"What are you doing here?" she huffed.

"Well, uh, I heard your parents weren't back yet. And that you were sick. Today. So, uh, your parents told me to come by and help you out. Plus, since I don't have any exorcist work right now, I thought, why not?"

Mamushi squinted at him, arms crossed. "But, why? I can take care of myself. Besides, all I need to do is get some rest and take some medicine. There's nothing you can do right now that I can't do myself."

"I mean, I know you can take care of yourself, and that you'd survive even if I wasn't here. But that doesn't mean you should be alone. Being alone sucks when you're, you know, sick." His pleasant smile was back.

Mamushi blew out an angry breath, but didn't say anything else. What was left to say? He was right, she didn't really want to be alone today. Besides, he was already inside.

She turned to shuffle back to her spot on the couch without another word. In her state, standing was a pain.

Juuzou hastily closed the door behind him. "Hey, Mamushi, cheer up. It's better me than any of my brothers right?"

He was met with silence.

"Right?" He repeated.

When Juuzou caught up with her in the living room, he paused when he saw the scene before him. Mamushi was embarrassed as she looked around herself with fresh eyes. There were tissues spread around everywhere.

Hastily, she grabbed the tissues to throw out and tried to clean the area.

"Here," she heard Juuzou say, "Give them to me." She turned around to see Juuzou look as if he was about to perform surgery. He was wearing a mask around his mouth and had put on rubber gloves, that he had quickly grabbed out of his bag.

Mamushi couldn't help but snort at the sight of him, but also moved the tissues in her hands out of his reach. It was too embarrassing to give him her used tissues, gloves or not. "No. I can do this myself."

Juuzou ignored her and stepped closer to reach for the tissues. Mamushi blushed. Not at his proximity of course. But because of her fever, obviously. She tried to step away, but he only followed her.

"Don't be stupid," he said, as he grabbed the tissues out of her hands despite her resistance and weak protests. "You're sick. Just go lay down and I'll take care of the rest."

Mamushi didn't know what to say as she watched him pick up the rest of the tissues and leave the room. Eventually, she just let out a sigh and laid down in her original spot on the couch. "He must have been bored to come over here just to help me," she grumbled.

She was adjusting her blankets when Juuzou walked back in without the gloves and mask. In his hands was a glass of water and some placed them on the coffee table and knelt next to her.

Mamushi's already warm face got even warmer under his probing eyes and deep concentration.

"What?" she mumbled in an annoyed huff.

"Your face is super red. You look like a tomato," he replied bluntly.

Mamushi's jaw opened in surprise and she was about to yell at him when she started coughing.

"Here, take it easy," Juuzou handed her the glass of water.

Mamushi handed back the glass but was surprised when she felt Juuzou's cold hand on her forehead. If it was even possible at this point, she felt her face heat up more. He was close enough that she could count his eyelashes. She was starting to feel light headed.

"You're so warm. And your face is even redder. Take this medicine and try to get some rest."

Mamushi begrudgingly took the medicine and glass of water from his outstretched hands all while mumbling, "Like I could sleep with you around bothering me."

She knew she was being childish, but it wasn't just Juuzou that she was upset about. Mamushi couldn't help but be disappointed about the way the entire day was turning out. Of course it would be like this today, of ALL days, she thought. Being childish for childish reasons. What kind of adult was she.

Despite her thoughts, when Mamushi closed her eyes, she was quick to fall asleep. The sleep was fitful, however. Plagued with images of a certain someone. Distracting images of him. Things she hadn't even realized she noticed or thought about. A mix of memories and imagination.

The taut muscles in his arms when he was training. The small mole in the centre of his back. The rough feeling of his calloused fingers on her body. Her hands on his bare chest. Him wiping the sweat off his forehead after a workout. His tongue sweeping across his bottom lip. His half-lidded eyes.

Her body became uncomfortably warm as she slept. She constantly shifted to get comfortable.

At some point, she could have sworn she felt hands tucking the blanket under her chin. Cool hands that hovered above her before swiping the hair off her face, and lingered on her cheek.

After that, her dreams also cooled down. She dreamt of rain and familiar hands holding hers. Juuzou, brow furrowed, face set with determination as he focused on the task before him. Juuzou making his siblings laugh. Juuzou's cheeks tinged pink, a sheepish smile on his face, in one of the very rare occasions that he was embarrassed. Juuzou shyly playing with his hands. Another rare occasion that Mamushi delighted in. Juuzou's hearty laughter. Juuzou's arms around her, his heartbeat in her ears. Juuzou smiling at her. Genuinely. Widely. Mamushi felt as if she could bask in that smile forever.

When she eventually woke up, it was like being pulled to the surface after being submerged under water. The first thing she noticed was that it was darker. A cold towel had been placed on her forehead, her blanket readjusted, and a fresh glass of water placed nearby. The house was quiet and still. It felt emptier now than it did before.

In her half awake, feverish, state, she couldn't stop the feeling of loneliness spread through her, entrapping her in it's cold and oppressive grip. She didn't want to be left alone, no matter how she'd been acting. And right now, she was afraid that her actions resulted in exactly that happening.

The fear drove her to call out, "Juuzou?" into the dark house, that now felt like a gaping void She called out once more before a silhouette appeared in the doorway.

"Hey, I'm still here," he said softly, as he approached her. The sound of his voice instantly reassuring. And just as instantly, Mamushi felt silly and angry at herself for calling out for him. And the tone of voice she had used! The voice of a little girl.

"You've been asleep for a while. Are you hungry?" Mamushi just nodded, still embarrassed. "Good. Let me grab something for you in the kitchen." He forgot to turn on the lights as he left the room.

Mamushi took big gulps from her glass of water and removed the towel from her forehead. She removed the blanket off her and sat up properly. She was feeling slightly better than she had this morning.

Then she noticed the light. It was coming from the doorway. There were candles on a small sponge cake. And the face being lit up by the candles was Juuzou's. Mamushi couldn't take her eyes off the only source of light in the room.

"You're not going to make me sing, are you?" Juuzou joked with a slightly embarrassed grin. A rare sight.

Mamushi shook her dazed head, incapable of thought, much less speech. Juuzou knelt down in front of her, the cake on a tray between them. "Happy birthday, Mamushi."

Mamushi stared at Juuzou over the cake. The wax starting to melt off the candles that read "20." The candlelight flickered in his dark eyes.

Juuzou eventually ended their stare off by saying, "Well, aren't you going to make a wish?"

Finally, Mamushi closed her eyes. She blamed it on the fever, but immediately a wish popped into her head and, without thinking twice about it, she wordlessly blew out the candles.

Juuzou coughed slightly as the smoke hit his face. "Let me cut you a slice."

Mamushi nodded, still dazed. Her thoughts were a mess.

He knew. She didn't think he would know, but he did. Maybe her parents told him. But she knew how busy they were right now. Maybe, just maybe, Juuzou had planned all this himself. Because he knew that she would be sick and alone for her birthday.

The thought made her heart clench and her stomach flutter. Or maybe the other way around. Mamushi didn't know! She just felt like the ground was shifting from under her and she didn't know what to do.

xxxx

"You need to stop." They had been eating the cake in silence when Mamushi couldn't hold herself back any longer. Her still present fever probably making her a little bolder and less filtered than usual.

"Stop what?"

"Stop being so nice to me. It's weird and confusing." Maybe it was Juuzou's behaviour that led her to having those dreams about him. If that was the case, then she needed him to stop. Immediately.

He paused. He took a moment before he looked at her.

"I'm not nice to you."

Mamushi let out a humourless laugh. "What would you call this?"

Juuzou shrugged. "Finding a new way to torment you? Forcing you to spend a birthday with only me for company. Terrible, right?" His grin didn't reach his eyes. "But I think it's interesting that you would call this a nice thing."

Mamushi bit her lip and tried to make her gaze as penetrating as possible. "You're lying. You know you're being nice."

Juuzou sighed and refused to look at her. "Why would I be nice to you?" He let out a dry chuckle. "You're frustrating and difficult and stubborn. You never say what you're thinking. Or feeling! Especially feeling."

He finally looked up at her. "Even after all this time, I still have to work to figure you out."

Juuzou stared at her so intently that Mamushi had to look away. Her face was starting to feel warm again. There was a long silence.

When he spoke again, his voice was lower and softer. "And what if I did choose to be nice to you? Can you really not think of a reason why I should be?"

He barely gave Mamushi a chance to think, much less answer, before he charged on ahead. Not that it mattered. Mamushi was starting to feel super light headed. Too light headed to be able to come up with an answer or even a snarky comment.

"We've known each other for our whole lives. And despite how much you resist, you've been someone I have relied on-can rely on." Juuzou finally looked away, his first sign of nervousness. "And...and I, kind of, sort of, maybe care about you." She could tell his cheeks had turned pink even in the low lighting.

Mamushi was finding it harder to breathe. Was the room spinning or was that just her?

"I mean, obviously," Juuzou said quickly. "Our families see each other as family. And I know you care more about your family and community than you do yourself."

The heat in Mamushi's face was becoming too much. Her vision went blurry.

"Oi, Mamushi. Are you alright?" she heard Juuzou ask, but it sounded as if it was coming from another room.

"I'm fine," she slurred before it all went black.

xxxx

Of all the things she could have done….Mamushi fainted. Thankfully, this time she didn't dream. Or at least didn't remember if she did. In fact, Mamushi can't remember much that happened after that.

She was in and out of sleep until her parents came home. Sometimes faking it because she was too embarrassed to deal with the fact that she passed out from her fever in front of Juuzou.

Two days after the incident, her father came into her bedroom to check on her. She had mostly recovered.

"It turns out that Juuzou got sick from visiting you." Her father shook his head. "I told him to only drop by for five minutes to check up on you, to avoid getting sick as well. Now, I feel like this is my fault."

"Don't worry about it father. I can assure you that Juuzou is sick due to his own foolishness," Mamushi mumbled.

Her father raised an eyebrow. "You know he carried you to your bedroom after you fainted? He was worried about you and asked to know when your fever broke."

Her father's disapproval in her attitude was obvious. She was also embarrassed by her behaviour.

Her father turned to walk out of her room but she stopped him.

"Tell Juuzou…"

Mamushi searched for the right words. Not sure what she wants to say, or even how she feels.

"Tell him that he doesn't have to stop. If he doesn't want to. And," Mamushi took a deep breath to steady her nerves. "I'm sorry."

Uwabami visibly showed his confusion.

"Don't worry. He'll understand. I hope," Mamushi mumbled, face red. It wasn't as honest as she wanted to be, but it was as vulnerable as she felt comfortable being.

When her father left (not before asking if her fever had returned, considering how red her face was), she pulled the covers over her head. She remembered the wish she made on her birthday candles.

There was plenty of things that she should have wished for. For the reputation of her sect to improve. For her to change and be more honest with herself and others. But the first wish that came to her feverish mind was...

She wished that Juuzou would never change. That he would always be this person, no matter what happens.

Just the thought of her stupid wish made Mamushi's face heat up again. Ugh. With her weird dreams, and Juuzou's annoying behaviour, and her traitorous body, things had gotten so much more confusing recently. No one told her how complicated getting older would be.

xxxx

Notes that you might find interesting (or not):

In Japan, 20 is the age when you are considered a legal adult and is a pretty big deal. They have a national holiday to celebrate everyone who turned 20 in the year called "Coming of age day." This year it will be January 14th. I had variations of this story saved from like 2 years ago and didn't necessarily think about specifying this to be Mamushi's 20th bday until today, when I was doing my final touches, and it just happened to be in time for coming of age day! weird coincidence but it worked for the themes of growing up that are present in this story so ?￢ﾀﾍ ️

Anyways, I haven't given up on this story and I appreciate all the comments that pushed me to get this out there. I read all of them. Thank you for the favourites and follows.