Went to bed at 8 and freaking woke up at 4am. What else is there to do but puke at 4am? You can't even make a proper breakfast without waking everyone up. So, I tried to go back to sleep for an hour, gave up, and here I am, posting another chapter for you poor readers hanging on a cliff. Be grateful, I could have been a real stinker and left it there for a week, but I'm not, because I'm nice. PRAISES!

17

"My mom told me recently that when I was a baby she tried to kill herself by swallowing a handful of Aspirin, but she just ended up throwing it all up. I know this wasn't the only time. There was a bottle of whiskey underneath the driver's seat of her car and my grandma told me she had to rush down when my mom threatened it again, drunk or sober, I don't know.

…I love my mommy. So much. I don't want any other. I don't like hearing this. It's scary. And yet she says she's worried about me."

I froze like a deer in the headlights. Naru leapt down the stairs, nearly breaking himself on the second floor landing before stumbling into a sprint to the other side, where Lin hung.

Knife. I snapped into action. I flew down the stairs as well, falling twice, but I ignored the pain blooming in my right ankle to rush through the kitchen, grab a knife, and sprint back up. Naru had already had the same thought and met me half-way up. He took the knife and attacked the rope. Far faster than I thought a kitchen knife could cut through nylon, it snapped and Lin crumpled the last three feet to the first floor landing.

"Call an ambulance!" he yelled.

I already had my phone to my ear, having messed up the stupid 911 two times before finally getting it.

The rest moved by in a stunned blur. Naru got the rope away from Lin's throat and spread him out on his back, trying to keep the man's airway open. Takigawa and Ayako returned to a body and rope hanging from the banister. Ayako screamed in her mouth. Takigawa took Lin's heartbeat and started CPR.

I drifted, high, high. There was nothing to do, and it couldn't be happening anyways. The world had tipped over and I was still standing up.

Naru and I should have gotten everyone out when we had gotten suicidal. We should have said something. We didn't. We didn't. We didn't.

The moment the EMTs appeared in the doorway with a stretcher, I ran, taking the steps two at a time. Up, up, up, back to the attic, back to the corner between the wardrobe and the white wall.

I don't know how long I sat there. But it couldn't have been too long before Naru all but ran up the ladder, where the only light shone through. I had left the attic dark, as it should be.

"Mai? Mai, say something now."

I flinched at his hard voice. "I'm here."

"Come here. Come here now."

Jeeze, enough with the nows. But his voice frightened me, and I gingerly crawled out from my safe space and staggered the moment I tried to get my feet underneath me. My right ankle hurt something nasty, and did not care for my abuse of it.

But I had somehow gotten close enough to the light for Naru to see me, and he crossed the rest of the distance.

And then, he was clutching me hard to his chest, so tight I could feel his heart thudding.

"Don't come up here anymore," he said, still in that hard, frightening tone. I winced a bit, as his mouth had been right next to my ear.

"Okay."

"I'm sending the data to our clients. I'm sending you kids home."

"What about you?"

"I have to stay with Lin. Don't come up here again."

"I already said I wouldn't."

Maybe I could have appreciated the fact that he was holding me if he wasn't shaking so hard and almost yelling in my ear.

I wrapped my arms around his torso and made hushing noises. "You're okay, Naru. It's going to be alright."

He said nothing. Just shaking and holding me.

"Why aren't you leaving yet?" he was at least softer this time.

"Um…you're kind of clamping me in. And I think I sprained my ankle pretty bad."

"Why didn't you mention that?" yet he still hadn't let me go, and didn't seem like he would anytime soon.

"Because you were too busy yelling at me."

And then I was shaking, as though he had warmed me enough from hypothermia to start shivering again. My throat tightened and my eyes itched.

"Why'd he do that?" I croaked. I didn't want to ask the real question we were both thinking: whether or not Lin was still alive.

Naru just shook his head. But at least he let go of me and sat back.

"I'll help you down the ladder."

He didn't have to do much. Takigawa and Ayako were waiting at the bottom, pale and eyes wide.

"Don't you ever run off like that again," said Ayako, her cheeks wet.

"Here," Takigawa reached out for me. Naru lowered me and Takigawa caught me by my waist, where he lowered me to the ground like lacey, spun glass. Then Ayako was hugging me.

"We're leaving," she said. "Right now. I won't take no for an answer."

Then I let her bandage my foot and did the best I could to pack up, despite everyone's warnings to stay off my foot. But that would have been like staying off my heart and not looking into the dark abyss staring back at me.