Around 17:55 the doorbell rang. The chiming could be heard throughout the entire estate. Must be mom, she is usually early. I had been in the entrance hall with the boys. They all looked stunning in their suits, black jackets and slacks accompanied by white undershirts and ties that matched the color of their eyes. Handsome was the only way I could describe them.

"Thank you," said Damien.

I nodded, walking towards the door. Upon opening the door I saw mom standing on the porch. My mother was a short, frail, with mousy hair and a very tense air about her. She was holding a plate of food and a nicely wrapped gift basket.

"Hello baby," she said, smiling. Mom walked in and gave me a hug and a kiss.

"Hi mom," I replied. "You didn't have to bring anything, I went shopping,"

"Well, I told everyone tonight would be a potlatch."

"Everyone?" I asked a little lost.

"Who are these people Mika?" Mom asked, as if she didn't even hear what I was saying.

"These are some butlers who came with the house." I didn't want to make a big deal about the boys.

However, mom was not going to let that slide by easily. "I don't remember dad having any house servants. From what I recall, your grandmother was convinced she didn't need any help around here up until the day she died." Mom sounded suspicious.

"Grandpa hired them after grandma died," I tried to explain.

"The lawyer didn't say anything about this to me."

"It's my house mom, he wouldn't have needed to say anything to you."

"Still seems strange to me. I am your mother." She squinted accusingly at the boys.

James boldly stepped forward. "May I take your coat mam?" He bowed and extended his hand.

She nodded and pulled her fleece jacket off her shoulders. James took the jacket and walked the clothing to the coat closet.

"I'll take the plate to the dining table for you," Mathew offered brightly.

Mom handed off the plate to Mathew and he skipped away. Then she turned to me.

"You might not want to be dressed like that when the other guests arrive." She gestured to my jeans and t-shirt.

"What do you mean?"

"I invited several people from dad's company to come by tonight. If you want to make a good impression on the people who work there you should start early. This may help you get your foot in the door."

"I thought tonight was just for family," I felt my heart sinking.

"Oh no dear, you don't have much time left before you start your career. After four or five years at college I expect you to be in a perfect position to take control of the company. Now head upstairs and change. I know you still have a few dresses leftover high school left over, one of those will do just fine."

I didn't know what to do. My feet carried me to the staircase. I thought the worst thing I would have to deal with tonight would be mom and dad fighting. Rather, mom yelling at dad about something. The sound of footsteps echoed behind me. I turned and saw Erik following me.

"I shall attend you, my lady," he said, smiling lightly.

"Actually, Erik, would you mind waiting on the door. You have a very inviting touch I would like to take advantage of."

"Anything for you princess." He bowed. "Will you at least allow Damien to be with you in my stead?"

I nodded, I had no will to argue. Erik returned to the door and Damien followed me up the stairs. We walked quickly down the hall.

When we reached my door I said, "Just a moment Damien, I need to change."

He nodded and leaned against the wall.

I stepped inside and closed the door softly behind me. Mom knew I hated wearing dresses. Everyone knew I had made sure to throw my dresses away after my ex broke things off with me. Well, everyone except the woman I had lived with, who knew I had secretly kept them. Wandering through my closet I finally found the one I had in mind. It was a black and gray, strapless dress, one with a blue ribbon sewn between the chest piece and the skirt. Quietly I stripped, pulled off my socks, threw off my bra and threw the dress over my head. For a few moments I struggled with the ribbon, then I called Damien.

"Could you come in here for a second?"

Damien opened my door and poked his head around the corner. "What is it?"

"Could you tie this for me, I can't seem to tie a bow behind my back."

"Sure," he said, smiling lightly.

I watched him in the reflection of the full length mirror we were standing in front of. He tied the bow delicately, not pulling the ribbon too tight around my stomach. When he finished he let the blue silk flow through his fingers while he ran his hands down my sides. Resting each palm on my hip and his chin on my shoulder he made eye contact with me in the mirror.

"Are you alright?" There was concern written all over his face.

No. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Don't worry, we will be here for you," he whispered into my ear.

I smiled, but the expression did not reach my eyes.

Damien released my waist and I followed him out of the master bedroom. When we returned to the entry hall there were already several people I didn't recognize. Mathew and Sam were running plates of food to the dining hall. James was organizing coats in the hall closet. Erik was opening the door as another couple arrived. I walked down the stairs, Damien close behind me. Soon I was swarmed with people, shaking hands left and right, hearing names I would never remember.

"You have a beautiful house."

"Thank you," I replied to one person.

"My condolences on your grandfather's passing."

"I appreciate your sympathies," I said to another.

Time crept slowly by, and I continued to circulate between the entrance hall and the dining hall.

"I heard you are going to an out of state college," said one man to me.

This caused me to pause. "Where did you hear that?"

"Your mother said you were accepted to University of Pennsylvania. They have an excellent bachelors program in business."

Oh yeah, that bullshit. Mom had forced me to apply to all the top business schools in the country. "I was accepted, but that doesn't necessarily mean I am going to attend," I said.

"Oh," he said, looking taken aback. "I see, sorry to assume." He left awkwardly.

"Mistress," said a quiet voice behind me.

When I turned around I saw James, bending down to talk directly into my ear.

"Yes James, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. There is a man wishing for a moment of your time. He is in the theater when you can spare a moment."

"I'll head there directly, thank you."

He nodded and returned to waiting on the guests. I traipsed down the east hallway to the theater. Begrudgingly I opened the door. When I saw who stood on the other side my face broke into a wide grin.

"Daddy," I ran towards the man and gave him a bear hug.

My dad was lean, with a much kinder demeanor than my mother. He had dark, balding hair and a peppercorn beard. Just like me, he wore glasses over his eyes. Unlike me, he was fairly tall.

"Hello Mika," he smiled thought his beard.

"I'm so glad you could come."

"Me too. I didn't realize there would be so many people here."

"I didn't either."

He sighed knowingly. "Did your mother have something to do with this?"

"Seems so."

"Well, you can always tell them to leave. This is your house, and you are an adult now." He was trying to encourage me to take charge.

"Yeah," I was unconvinced.

"I brought you something. We all did, but Milly, Liana and Kade couldn't make it. Kade had another panic attack so they ended up at the ER."

"Oh no, let me know how he is doing when you meet up with them again."

"I will. But first, take a look."

Dad pointed the projector remote at the screen. Suddenly I heard a very familiar theme song playing over the speaker set. The guitar melody repeated the menu song to my favorite game.

"Rock Band!" I said excitedly.

On the stage before me was a set of wireless, electronic instrument controls. Growing up, whenever I was at dad's house I would play Rock Band. I spent hours on the game, getting as many achievements as I could and completing the world tours for each of the three games. Eventually I got so good I could play the guitar and sing at the same time on a hard difficulty. I wasn't the best, but I really enjoyed playing.

"Did you manage to set the PlayStation up with the projector? I didn't think the two would be compatible."

"You underestimate your father's technical skills."

I laughed. "True. Thank you daddy."

He patted me tenderly on the head. "I'm probably going to head out now. I need to get back to the ER."

"Alright daddy, I understand. Thanks for coming by."

I followed him out of the theater and to the entry hall. Returning to the housewarming party was the last thing I wanted to do right now, but I had no choice. Looking around I privately checked in on the boys. James was speaking animatedly with some of the men. Erik was speaking to a young woman who had come alone to the party. Mathew was in the dining hall, clearing some emptied plates from the table. Sam was leaning against the wall, looking moderately annoyed. Damien was mysteriously absent.

"Hey Sam," I called, walking up to the brunette. "Have you seen Damien?"

"I think he went upstairs. Crowds aren't really his thing," replied Sam. His tone of voice suggested this was obvious.

"I'm going to go look for him," I decided.

Before anyone could waylay me I snuck up the stairs and headed to the west wing. After a short search I found Damien in the study at the far end of the hall. He was standing in the dark, looking out the window at the bright moon.

"Hey Damien," I called softly. "What are you doing up here all alone?"

Damien turned around to look at me. The silvery moonlight fell gracefully over his red hair. Even though his face was shrouded in shadow I could see his deep, blue eyes shining. His elegant figure was silhouetted beautifully against the night sky. I felt a fluttering in my stomach as I admired his beauty.

"I just stepped away for a bit," he replied quietly.

I walked around the desk and stood next to the gorgeous boy, drawn to his delicate personality. Looking out the window I surveyed the dark yard.

"Beautiful isn't it," he said, a hint of wonder in his voice.

I looked up towards the sky. The moon was waxing, and only a few of the brightest stars could be seen through the light pollution from the city. "Not really. I hear the night sky out in the mountains is really a sight to behold," I replied. Turning my gaze back to him I thought, you're prettier than any night sky I've ever seen.

He turned to look at me, slightly surprised. "You really think that?"

"Apparently." I had forgotten that he could read minds. My eyes shifted back to the window.

After a pause Damien started up the conversation again. "I tend to get overwhelmed in crowds. You were wondering why I was in here when you came in. There is no controlling my mind reading ability. When there are lots of people around, I receive fragments from all of them. I find it… exhausting."

"I understand. If I were you I would probably feel the same way."

Suddenly Damien put his hand to his temple. He made a grunt of pain and partially collapsed against the desk.

"Damien," I said in alarm. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," he gasped out, "yes I'm fine. Sometimes I get this way… when I'm low on energy."

I put my hand on his arm.

"I'm used to being in pain. I'll be fine," he grimaced.

My mind jumped back to high school. I could almost see the flash of steel and the drip of crimson. Used to pain huh? "Could I help you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, squinting at me though the pain.

"Well," I said quietly. I adjusted myself to stand directly in front of him. Looking up into his illuminated face I could see his eyebrows knitted together in pain and confusion. "I could give you some of my energy. There's no need to suffer in silence." I was coming on to him, hardly daring to hope I could use this opportunity to kiss this gorgeous man.

Damien looked away. "I don't want to take advantage of you."

I placed a hand on his cheek, tilting his face towards me forcing his gaze to return. "It's not taking advantage if I'm offering, is it?" my voice had dropped to a whisper, my gaze flickering between his eyes and his rosy lips. "Unless, of course, you don't want any."

"No, that's not…." He didn't seem to know what to say.

His blue eyes were dilated, the huge pupils reflecting the shine of the moonlight. Slowly he leaned in, decreasing the distance between us. Tentatively he pressed his soft lips onto mine. My eyes closed. A warm tingling sensation spread across my face. My body moved on instinct as I tilted my head slightly to allow the kiss to deepen. I wanted to share this intimate moment with him. My mind was calm and quiet for the first time this evening. My extremities yearned to feel the sensation of his skin pressed against them. However, Damien was still and tense under my hand. Was this his first kiss? He seemed nervous.

I decided to take lead, hoping to relax the boy. Slowly I opened my jaw, guiding his chin downward with mine. Tenderly I snuck my tongue into his mouth. Acting on instinct, Damien's tongue began to play with mine. The familiar lurch in my groin heightened my excitement. I always loved this kind of interaction. It's like having sex with your mouth.

The moment I thought that, I felt Damien wrap his arms around me. Another soft tingle began to emanate from my lower back while his warm hands rubbed themselves up and down my body. I pressed closer to him, wanting to feel his body against my front. My groin longed to rub teasingly against his. As I had hoped, Damien seemed to be gaining confidence. His tongue in my mouth began to fight for control. He wanted free rein to explore, and I consented.

My mind was still. All I could think of was the sound of us kissing and the warmth of his touch. I felt one of my hands rest on the curve of his hip, the other stroked his cheek tenderly. My body was responding to the caresses, but I held back. I didn't want to push him farther than he was comfortable. I knew how awful that felt. Instead I allowed him to continue making out with me until he was satisfied.

All too soon the tingling sensation stopped, and Damien reluctantly pulled away from me. I looked up at him. He was watching me through half lidded eyes. A pleased smile graced his handsome features. I dropped my hand from his face and smiled back.

"Wow… that was, I mean. Thank you. I feel much better now."

"My pleasure," was all I could say. A pang of pride reverberated in my chest at being able to satisfy an incubus. He had made me breathless, a naturally good kisser. Who would have thought? I straightened my dress and backed away from his embrace. "I better go back," I said guiltily. Honestly I would have preferred to stay with Damien. You don't want your mom to be disappointed.

"I'll be down in a minute," Damien said. Was he embarrassed?

"Ok," I said, striding over to the door of the office. Before quitting the room I turned back and said, "Remember, I was the one who offered, you don't need to feel guilty." I didn't wait for a response.

The bright lights of the hallway stung my eyes. I was forced to blink a few times before my eyes adjusted. My mind remained quiet until I stood at the banister overlooking the entrance hall. A swarm of bodies churned in, out and around the expansive room. From the middle of the room I could see mom beckoning to me. She was standing next to a tall boy, one about my age.

As I approached she smiled at me.

"Baby, this is Andrew. He is the son of the current CEO of dad's company," mom introduced us.

"Nice to meet you," I said flatly.

We shook hands. I felt a moderate amount of disdain. I could almost smell ulterior motives in the air resonating from my mother.

"I hope you two will become good friends. His father has a lot of influence in the company and Andrew would make a good ally. I gave him your phone number so you can keep in touch."

"You did what?!" I rounded on mom.

"I gave him your number-" she started.

"You can't just do that," I said shocked

"Yes I can," she said definitively.

"It's rude to give away contact info without the person's permission. You can't just do that." Was she crazy?

"Yes I can," mom repeated. Her tone of voice made clear to me that was the end of the conversation. In her mind she obviously did nothing wrong.

I stood in silence as she continued talking animatedly with the stranger.

After a while she suggested we take our conversation to the dining hall. She hinted that there were gifts for me to unwrap. As if on cue the entire crowd began to file into the dining hall. I was directed to a chair next to the far end of the table. The oak surface was laden with house warming gifts from the visitors.

"Start with this one dear," said mom, handing me the gift basket she had arrived with.

I pulled the purple tissue paper off the handle and stared at the gift. Inside were a very strange assortment of things. Shampoo, snacks, a box of condoms, notebooks and pens accompanied a soft blanket tucked into the bottom. I looked at mom questioningly.

"It's a starter package for college, so you don't need to worry about going out and buying the basics while you are still settling in." Mom seemed proud of herself. She then handed me an envelope.

I tore open the flap and examined the paper inside. Printed in black lettering appeared to be an acceptance letter, proclaiming the sender would happily attend college at University of Pennsylvania.

"I figured I would make the process easier for you and write your response to the university. All you have to do is sign your name." Mom plucked a pen from the gift basket and handed it to me.

I was stunned. She knew I hadn't made up my mind on which school I wanted to attend. There were all these people around waiting for me to do something. I felt my hand take the pen. Well, the campus is pretty. This could be your chance to finally get away. This might be alright. All these people approve, University of Pennsylvania must be a good school. My chest felt tight, I couldn't swallow the saliva gathering in my mouth. You knew this day was coming for a while. Just four more years then you can finally start your own life. Bear with this a little longer. I was breathing, but the air felt like dust gathering in my lungs. My hand signed the paper. Applause erupted from around the room.

"Congratulations Mika."

"You'll have a great time at college."

"Your grandfather would be proud."

The voices blended together. My mind wouldn't process what was being said. With some encouragement from mom I opened the rest of the gifts. Most of the things were standard, housewarming gifts. Blankets, candles and a calendar.

The party didn't last much longer after that. Finally around nine people began to filter out of the estate. While guests were leaving the boys were preoccupied making sure everyone took home their flatware and jackets. Mom was the last to leave.

"Did you like my gift baby?" She didn't wait for a response. "I thought I did a good job. For a few months I've been collecting things for you. They will probably prove to be useful for you while in Philadelphia."

"Um…"

"Would you like me to stay a little longer? We could sit in the theater and watch a movie on the big screen."

"No thanks mom, I'm pretty tired."

"Ok baby. See you soon." She kissed me and left.

When the door shut behind her I quickly turned the lock. My stomach clenched and I felt numb in my extremities. Pressure was building in my temples and across the crown of my head.

"That was quite an experience," said Sam, my exhaustion reflected in his face.

"I had a great time," said Mathew contentedly. "Wasn't it nice to see your mom, she seemed like a nice-" he faltered mid-sentence.

Damien was shaking his head at Mathew.

"My dear, would you like to go to bed? You look about ready to fall asleep where you stand," Erik cooed in a gentle voice.

"Yeah, we should all go to bed." I looked around at the tired group. "We can clean up tomorrow."

Sam unbuttoned his jacket and loosened his tie.

James took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

I walked tiredly up the stairs. Erik followed behind me. This time I didn't ask him to stop. He escorted me all the way to my room. As I reached for the door handle Erik grabbed me.

"My dear, you seem affected." He was searching my face for something.

"I'm fine," I lied.

Erik pulled my arm gently upward and pressed his lips to my fingers. "If you ever need a distraction, I will be here for you." His voice dripped with seduction.

I smiled, but again it did not reach my eyes. Tenderly I removed my hand from his grasp and stroked his cheek. Then I turned and entered my bedroom. As quietly as I could manage I shut and locked my door. Not bothering to turn the lights on I stripped. Making sure to step on my dress as much as I could, I let my mind stray. Tonight had been exhausting. Standing naked in my room I began to think.

She didn't let you choose, I thought college was your choice. I've always known going to college was no option for me. When I was in kindergarten I had heard one of the kids say that college was a choice. You could decide to go or not go. Later I repeated this sentiment to my mom and she had replied 'no, college is not an option.' Why should you believe her? That's just the way things have always been. Four years, that's all. Then you can take control of your own life. Mom had never gone to college, and was always told she couldn't. You can't get a good job without a bachelor's degree. That's what people always said. Mom didn't have a degree but she had a well-paying job and respectable standing. I could hear her say 'a degree is practically a requirement for getting a job now a days.'

The pressure in my head was building. How could she take advantage of you like that? Peer pressure was something I couldn't contend with. What a stupid gift anyways, and what was with the box of condoms. She put so much work into it, and I'm hardly embarrassed by stuff like that anymore. You would be ungrateful if you rejected the gift. My head spun and swam. You don't want to go to college why would you want a college starter kit. Of course you want to go to college. I want to be free of wanting what she wants. I felt like my brain was being pressed against my skull.

The psychological pain I was experiencing was excruciating. I couldn't keep thoughts from flying around my head. My breath came in short spurts, my eyes burned. On shaky legs I traveled over to the nightstand. Inside the top drawer lay a single item. My old pocket knife. Hand shaking I picked up the blade. Pressing my fingernails into the notch, I pulled free the sharp metal. I flipped my hand over and lay my forearm on the nightstand. With shaking fingers I traced the blade over my arm, just under the crease opposite my elbow. A faint crackling could be heard as I tore through just the top layer of skin.

Shooting pain flew up my arm. The pressure in my head relaxed. My thoughts halted in their tracks. Only the physical pain of my arm remained. I breathed a sigh of relief. This helps more than you remember. The pressure started to return. I retraced the line I had made in my arm, deepening the cut. Until I could see a light red line appear and stay, I kept sliding the blade over the same spot. So long as I could feel the pain in my arm I couldn't feel the pain in my head. The relief was astounding. My mind was finally clear. Once the first line was done I started a second line millimeters from the first. There was another faint crackling as I tore through my flesh. I repeated the process, finishing with two small scratches of equal length glowing against my skin.

I stopped. The pressure in my head would only be abated so long as the physical pain remained, but I was tired. This would be enough. Collapsing my pocket knife and dropping it into the drawer, I crawled into bed. As I tried to fall asleep the pressure in my head would return in waves. Dark thoughts would plague my mind. Confliction spread across my brow. Whenever I felt too overwhelmed I would press my thumb into the two lines. The dull ache would quell the pain enough to allow me to drift off to sleep.