5:00 AM

Sleepiness hung over me as I tried to pry my eyes open. When had I fallen asleep? What's that annoying sound? After a few more seconds it stopped, and I could almost fall back into a peaceful slumber. My body felt warm, and comfortable. The noise started up again, and it hit me that it was my ringtone. My eyelids barely lifted up and in front of me was a person. I was tangled up in the sheets with Mori. Naked. "Oh no. What… what did I do?" I whispered, my head spinning from sitting up too fast.

"Your phone," Mori mumbled.

It was Igarashi. I had fifteen missed calls from him. Hitting the green phone icon, I held the bright screen up to my ear. "Kari! Where the hell are you? You left me that message and you sounded drunk. I'm at you house and you aren't here."

His raised voice hurt my head. "Could you not… be so loud. It's hurting my head."

"Because you're hungover!" He shouted, clearly unhappy with me.

Mori pulled the phone out of my hand. "Listen, man, you shouldn't be harassing the lady. I'll be driving her home soon enough." He ended the call and dropped the phone on his chest, collapsing back against the bed. He rubbed his face with his hands. "Akine is going to be so pissed at me. Please at least tell me you remember doing this."

I nodded. "When I first woke, I was confused, but now…" The haze was going away and the memories of what happened were returning to me. I had called Nana and left a voice message. In my drunken state, when Mori came stumbling into the room, my sadness had overwhelmed me. Trying to comfort me, he held me in his arms. Then… I guess I was so mad at Nana for not answering or returning my feelings, I kissed Mori. And the rest is too embarrassing to think about.

"Do you regret it?" He asked, locking his hands behind his head. It seemed like it had meant nothing to him.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Not really," I answered honestly. What does it matter? The boy I loved had made his choice to go on a date with another girl. He's investing his time into someone else. So why can't I? "I'd be grateful if you would drive me home, now, though." Igarashi would come looking for me if I didn't return home soon.

Mori nodded his head with a lazy smile. "Sure thing, Kari. Let's get dressed first." He pulled the covers off him, not bothered by the fact that he was naked. Sliding on his sweatpants, he yawned as he disappeared into the bathroom.

The room felt cold on my bare skin. Rubbing my freezing arms, I searched the floor for my clothes. The previous night in here had returned completely. It was consensual. Mori had asked me over and over if I was sure that I wanted to do it. I agreed each time. Why doesn't it bother me? Isn't it supposed to be meaningful? I sighed, "What do I know."

"Ready to go?" Mori emerged from the bathroom, completely dressed and put together. His hair had been styled and he'd put on clean clothes, while I had on the same thing I'd worn the day before, and my hair was piled on top of my head in a messy bun. He wasn't bothered by my appearance, holding the bedroom door open for me.

My head still pounded on the ride back to my house, and my stomach churned, threatening to vomit from the motion. Mori only spoke when he needed directions. All I wanted was to crawl back into bed and sleep for the rest of the day. "We're here," Mori announced softly, patting my head. "Make sure you go eat something and take some pain killers before you pass out again, okay? If you need anything just call me."

The thought of eating made me want to puke again. "I'll try," I replied, opening the car door. Igarashi stood on my porch, arms folded over his chest like an angry mother. My legs moved slowly, like I was wading through waist deep water. "Please don't lecture me right now," I mumbled, almost crawling up the stairs.

Igarashi slid his arm around my waist, helping me to stand. "Don't worry, I'll save my lecture for after you've eaten and are more awake." The smell from the kitchen was both appetizing and disgusting. Being hungover is confusing my senses. Igarashi pulled out a chair for me at the table, and retrieved a plate full of breakfast items, like eggs and sausage.

Each bite stuck in my throat. Keep it down. Just keep it down. I'd already taken the pain killers that had been set out for me. Halfway through the plate, I pushed it away and laid my head on the table. "I can't eat anymore," I said. Time for bed.

The sound of a voice recording broke the silence. Loud music was muffled in the background, but someone was crying. Then, my own voice, raspy from crying, started to talk. "You're such an idiot, Nana! I wanted you to… choose me! Serinuma isn't the one who's devoted all her time to you! Serinuma isn't the one who's house you sneak into and steal food from! Did all those nights of conversation and sex mean nothing to you? Do I mean nothing… to you? I don't understand! Why can't you just once look at me the way you did at her when she walked into the room? I… I love you. And you don't love me back. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to…" The voice stopped, and a door opened. "M-Mori… I-"

The voicemail ended, and I sat in my chair completely stunned by the message. "I sent that?" That part was still very fuzzy to me. Mori's friends had encouraged me to tell Nana how I felt, and I must have gone up there to do that. "To you?" Relief flooded through me. Had that been actually sent to Nana, our friendship could be totally ruined.

"I already knew you were in love with him, Kari," Igarashi started, shaking his head. "But I had no idea that the two of you had gone as far as…" He couldn't bring himself to say it. Instead, he smacked me on the back of the head. "Are you out of your mind? How could you let him talk you into that? What if you get pregnant?" He's always been the most responsible.

My eyes were wide with surprise. He's jumping ahead of all the finer details. "We used protection. I'm on the pill and Nana has condoms—"

He narrowed his eyes. "That isn't the point! Do you two ever think about anyone else? How do you think I feel knowing that my two best friends have been sneaking around behind my back?" Igarashi huffed and pulled up the contacts on his phone. "I can't believe you two!"

Is he calling? I reached out and tried to grab the phone, but he moved out of reach. "Igarashi! Don't! Nana didn't want you to know!" He'll blame me for letting it slip! He'll know that I went out with some other guy and got drunk! I can't face Nana right now. "Please! I don't want to see him!"

"Oh, you don't?" Igarashi asked, keeping the phone well out of my reach.

The sound of phone ringing made us both freeze. That's his ringtone. I know because I had been the one to change it as a prank, and he chose to keep it. Nana stood in the doorway to the kitchen, holding a bag of fresh doughnuts. That had been a ritual thing for us. He brought me them on Saturday mornings when his parents weren't working, as an excuse to get out of the house. "What the hell is going on?" He asked, a panicked expression on his features. "Kari, why don't you want to see me?" Nana's tone held so much disappoint and sadness.

No. No, no, no. How much of that conversation did he hear? My heart dropped to the floor and a lump grew in my throat. How do I explain what I said? The only sound in the kitchen was Nana's phone still ringing from the call. Neither me nor Igarashi could come up with anything to say. I'd never seen Nana so heartbroken before. In one night, in one stupid moment, I might have drove a wedge between the two most important people to me.