Chapter Nine

It was Friday. The family had cancelled dinner last week because of the funeral and Eddie's need for privacy. This week though it was back on. Eddie was having a hard time reconciling having to sit at the table with Danny when she held him responsible for the current state of her family. Jamie didn't bring it up to her, they were still spending every moment they could at the hospital with Mary who was awake and slowly getting better every day.

On Friday afternoon, Eddie looked up at Jamie, "It's time to see the car."

Jamie sighed quietly, "Okay, guess it is. Let me tell them we're coming."

Eddie nodded, "I need this. I need to see where it happened, so that I can move on and start to really grasp what happened. The cop in me needs it, Jamie. So, does the mom."

Jamie took out his cell phone calling evidence to let them know what he and Eddie wanted "Okay, they're waiting for us."

Eddie kissed Mary's forehead as she slept, she left her with Cookie and asked the nurse to page Linda if the girl woke up while they were gone.

Jamie followed greeting a younger looking man who waited for them. "Jamie, I'm so sorry to hear about your family."

Jamie nodded, "Thanks, Eric for doing this. My wife needs to see this. Come on, Eddie."

Eddie took a deep breath following them down a hall to where the car was kept.

"I need to go in alone," Eddie sighed.

"Are you sure Eddie?" Jamie watched her with a worried expression.

"Yes," she said. "I am."

Jamie said a silent prayer and responded, "I'll be right here."

Eddie stepped inside and saw the blue minivan. She held her breath.

Her mind did not prepare her for this. The entire outside of the blue metallic van was riddled with bullet holes, both police issue weapons and the high capacity weapons the perps had used. She leaned inside the bullet ridden vehicle, the metallic smell was making her stomach turn. There was blood all over the inside, her babies' blood. The sight of it made Eddie want to throw up as she looked around tears stinging her eyes

She could see how many bullets flew at her babies, and one thing plagued her mind. Had someone, Jamie or Danny, or even some of the other cops on the scene, fired near that car when they knew her babies were inside? The idea made her physically ill.

"Oh," she cried out feeling sick again.

Jamie heard the cry and took a deep breath heading into the room.

"Eddie honey," Jamie called going to the car

She turned to him, ashen, stricken with the reality of what was there in front of her. She wanted to speak but there were no words.

"Oh Eddie," Jamie climbed in pulling her close against him.

Eddie let Jamie hold her a minute, then pulled back to look at him. "You knew I didn't want my children near Danny, not even close to him, why did you do it, Jamie? You knew it was against my wishes.

"I knew Eddie and trust me I thought about it, but I honestly didn't think this would happen. I would never risk our kids he's my brother"

"You did," Eddie sobbed. "You did risk them and for what? He could have ubered, he could have called a friend, and you never got the fact that when we got married me and your kids became your top priority. There is no balancing it out!"

"I know Eddie I know." Jamie looked down shaking again

"We are each other's priority!" Eddie insisted. "Remember Mary was born and I wanted to take her to see my Dad in jail?"

Jamie nodded, "yeah I remember of course I remember."

"You didn't want me to, you were concerned, and I didn't go because you and Mary were my family, my priority."

"Eddie, I know! I know all that," Jamie dropped his hands and slid out.

Eddie followed Jamie out of the evidence room. "Jamie, don't run off! Don't run off!"

Jamie turned around, "I know this is my fault, Eddie. I know that our son is dead because of me and my carelessness. I failed our son, I know that!"

Jamie covered his face and turned his back to Eddie, he was shaking. As angry as she was with him, Eddie couldn't take seeing him express the pain she knew they both felt and not wrap him in her arms.

"Ssh," Eddie soothed. "I know you didn't' think this could happen. Who would shoot at a family? At babies? I know you didn't know, but Danny did know, he knew and he did this anyway. He did it anyway!"

"I don't know," Jamie sighed. "I should have said no, but sometimes he says things you know? He gets macho, he…"

Eddie nodded and rocked Jamie in her arms. She needed him as much as he needed her. "I'm angry with you," Eddie admitted. "I'm really angry with you but the only way we are going to get past this and through this is together. We need to be together, we need to love each other, even if, some of the things we are doing and saying make us not like each other."

Jamie nodded and held tight to Eddie. "We will get through it, and I'm angry too, I'm angry with myself for doing this to you, to our family. I wasn't strong, but I promise I'll be from now on, I know it's too little too late, but…"

Eddie kissed his lips softly, "It's not too little, even if it is too late. I love you, Jamie, no matter what changes, that won't."

Jamie took a breath, it was good to hear that she loved him, even if one poor choice, destroyed their lives.

Eddie tucked the evidence surveillance tape she requested under her arm. Jamie was going to have to go to work and she would view that tape at home after Mary was settled for the night. On top of everything, breaking in a new partner and that was always added stress to her as his wife.

She felt more secure with a seasoned partner that would be able to read and support Jamie. She couldn't take another loss.

Mary was having a good day, she wasn't in much pain and was awake more. Eddie held her tight and close, reading stories to her and trying to give her all the love and support in the world. That wasn't going to bring Joe back, it wasn't going to give Mary her legs back…Eddie sighed and rocked her.

"Where's Daddy?" Mary asked.

"He's at work honey," Eddie replied. "He'll be here tomorrow. You ready for your nap?"

"Yes, I'm sleepy. When can I come home?" she asked. "I miss you and Daddy at home."

"I know you do," Eddie soothed. "Soon you can come home baby. I promise."

That was good enough for Mary, her mother's words and arms were the best comfort she could ask for.

When Mary fell asleep, Eddie went home to spend time with Bella. She felt torn between her girls, her life…and the pain of the loss of Joey was still stifling. She slid the video into the player, she just had to see what happened there. She had to see the last moments her baby boy was alive.

She watched the tape, and most of what she saw she expected. She saw Jamie returning fire, trying to draw the fire away from the car. He was protecting their little ones by putting himself out there to be shot if necessary.

Danny, though, attracted the shots. He used the van as a cover and fired over the car. He attracted the shots to her kids, he stayed behind the van and attracted the shots to her babies. Her babies! They were his godchildren, she trusted him with their lives, and he did this.

She couldn't contain the tears. She sobbed out Joey's name over and over again, then fixated on Danny again. "Danny, how could you do this? You know better how could you do this…"

Bella was disturbed by her mother's tears. She pulled up her legs and began to cry, flailing her little limbs, not sure why Mommy was making such terrible sounds.

Eddie pulled it together long enough for her to go and get Bella. "Mommy's sorry, baby. Mommy's sorry, I just…how could he do that? How could he do it? I could have lost you too. I could have lost all of you…"

She carried Bella to living room and sat down with the baby in her arms. Bella was through this all unscathed, she was thankful for that, she looked at her baby girl…and let the tears fall.

Eddie let the video loop, she had no idea how long she sat there. Her feet and legs fell asleep, Bella fell asleep but she still sat and watched the loop as if she could will it to have another outcome