Chapter Seventeen

The house was dark and quiet when she got home, she crept though the rooms and found Bella asleep in her crib, her little mouth suckling in her dreams. She was their innocent, not marred by anything.

"I love you, honey," Eddie whispered giving her a soft kiss on her head.

She went to Mary's room. She was sleeping with the help of a child strength sleep aid and her security object. She was still struggling to adjust to the circumstances.

"I love you, Mary," Eddie whispered planting a kiss on her head.

Eddie was trying hard not to cry again. She stepped into the bedroom, Jamie was sound asleep on his back. Good, she would have time to wash off...well…everything...she could put this behind her.

Quietly, she gathered her things taking them into the bathroom to shower.

She turned the water on high and stepped into the spray. She let the water run down her face and her back. The water felt good, helping her relax and take her mind her off everything that happened.

She felt Steven all over her, his hands on her, his scent. She wanted it gone, she wanted it gone right now. But she could, there was no way...

The tears began to fall Eddie was gasping as she cried trying to hold back so Jamie wouldn't hear. Still, the pain was just too much. She hiccupped and sobbed sliding down the shower wall. How could she have done this? How could she?

The cries traveled into the bedroom waking Jamie up. "Eddie," he called walking into the bathroom. He found the door was locked. The steam was gathering around the door...

"Eddie? Eddie, open up the door honey I'm worried," Jamie said knocking gently

She didn't hear him until she turned off the spray. She heard Jamie then, "I'll be right out..."

Sighing Jamie leaned-against the door waiting for her to finish. Jamie went and laid down on the bed. He knew Eddie would be upset he went to Danny's birthday, but the tears...that he did not expect

Eddie finally came out, eyes red and bloodshot from crying, quietly getting in next to him. Jamie sat up in bed and looked at Eddie. She started to sob again, she couldn't keep this secret.

She pulled back from him, not an unusual thing lately, the tears running down her face. Eddie sniffled and then tried to speak. All the words were jumbled up, how could she tell Jamie what she had done?

Eddie was shaking, she put her hands up over her mouth and bit down. "Oh, Jamie...I can't believe...I am so sorry I..."

"Ssh tell me what happened, Eddie," Jamie soothed softly reaching for her. The words did not want to come, they were stuck in her throat. They had already had enough tragedy.

Jamie listened, getting quiet, looking at her taking in small breaths

"I can't be...I can't...I...oh my God..." She hiccupped. "Oh, God I'm so awful."

Seeing her cry brought out the emotion in Jamie. "Eddie honey tell me please."

Eddie had a lot of false starts, how did she tell her husband she slept with another man. Finally, on a long deep breath, she just blurted out, "I slept with Steven."

"Wait what?" Jamie stared at her not expecting to hear that.

He was in total disbelief. He and Eddie had a solid partnership, best friends, best lovers, husband and wife and now she said this...he literally felt his heart break. "You slept..." He swallowed the tears in his throat.

"Jamie, I didn't I didn't mean…I regret it," Eddie sobbed hard. "I'm sorry."

Eddie reached out for him, but he backed up and put his hands up. "How could you? How..." His voice broke and the tears flowed freely from his eyes. "You're my wife..."

"I know Jamie I didn't I it happened then... Jamie, I'm so sorry."

Eddie sobbed, she could not stop herself from sobbing so hard she was coughing. "I was just so angry and... I have no excuse for this. It just happened and I regret it so much. I...couldn't lie to you, I had to be honest, just please...forgive me Jamie, please."

Jamie looked up suddenly finding himself unable to look at her, when he did he was reminded of what she did.

"I can't even look at you," Jamie whispered, his throat constricted with pain. "I can't...I..."

"I can't either," Eddie continued sobbing looking down at her hands.

Jamie usually wanted to hold her when she was sad like this, but instead he got out of bed, taking his pillow with him.

Eddie listened as he shuffled out of the room laying down and crying harder. She fell to her knees when he slammed the door to Joey's bedroom. He had to have the space, he couldn't be near her, he just couldn't.

Jamie knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. All he could think of was little Joey, just like the first time he'd been in this room after his funeral. He had laid in this bed with him to comfort him, to play with him, and now he laid here to hide inside of himself. He just couldn't fathom that Eddie had done this.

Jamie shut his eyes and saw the image of his wife, his beloved wife underneath another man, a man he called a friend. It made him nearly sick to his stomach. He turned in the bed and held onto Joey's Thomas the train pillow, using it to stifle his sobs.

For her part, Eddie cried until her face burned. Jamie was right there, so close to her, yet he'd already built a barrier around his heart. He couldn't stand the sight of her, and she could barely stand the sight of herself. There was no sleep to be had for either of them that night.

The next few days were rough on the whole family. Jamie was staying away, keeping a firm distance from Eddie, still the place in Joey's room didn't seem to be far enough.

After three days, it was the day of Mary's first assessment and Jamie and Eddie both took her to the therapist with Bella in her sling across Eddie's chest. "Well, it's good to see you both here," the therapist smiled. "How are you, Mary? You look a little sleepy."

"A little bit but I want to show Daddy what I can do," she told her

"Okay, then Daddy, let's show off what this girl can do," the therapist replied. "Then we have new exercises to teach so I'm glad both of you are here." They took Mary back and Eddie and Jamie sat down by the observation window. "She needs us, Jamie. Both of us."

Jamie only nodded watching Mary working with the therapist. "I know Eddie."

Eddie turned to watch Mary for a second glancing back at Jamie

They were barely speaking. He was still in shock and so was she. She was glad for Mary's appointment, it gave that some excuse to be together.

"The therapy will help her, she's strong," Jamie assured not meeting Eddie's eyes.

"We named her for your mother because she was so strong, even as a tiny baby." Eddie looked at Bella who blew a raspberry at her and cooed. "We named her Bella because what did you say?"

"She was the most beautiful baby just like her mother," Jamie recalled.

Eddie stroked Bella's head gently then watched Mary doing her transfer. When she did it smoothly, Jamie and Eddie both smiled.

"Our girls," Eddie sighed quietly looking at Bella again.

Jamie and Eddie, we're called in later and shown Mary's new exercises. One involved a long stretch that made the little girl squeal.

Eddie sat up quickly, "is that hurting her? Is there another way to do that one?"

"It does hurt at first," The therapist replied. "It is to help loosen the knee. She will drag the leg if we can't loosen that up."

Sighing, Eddie watched with a concerned glance hating to see her baby hurting.

"I don't like it, Mommy," she cried. "I don't like this, I don't want to do it."

"I know, honey I know. Try to focus on Mommy, it'll help you get better," Eddie soothed.

They coached Mary through hat hard part then held her and Bella when the session ended

"You did such a great job, honey. We're proud of you," Jamie said. "You ready for ice cream?"

"Yay ice cream!" Mary cheered smiling.

They drove to the ice cream parlor and Jamie parked the car. This was the exact spot where they had shared ice cream before Joey died. Jamie took the kids out and started in with them but Eddie hung back staring at the spot, utterly frozen. This was where it was, this was where his whole thing started. She felt her heart race.

Jamie was already through the door when he realized that Eddie had hung back. He turned around to go and get her and bring her in.