Chapter Twenty

It was 3am when Eddie got up to the sound of Bella crying. She knew it was nearly time to eat but the cry sounded different. She got up quickly and ran into Jamie in the hallway. "She sounds funny," he replied as Eddie scooped the baby up. "She's got a fever. Get the thermometer, please."

Jamie grabbed the device and they took the baby's temperature. It was 101.2…She was drooling a bit and pulling at her ear. "Mommy's here," Eddie soothed. "Mommy's here." She moved the baby to her breast to let her suckle, hoping the sucking motion would help.

Jamie looked on at Eddie and the baby as she ate. He hated that either of his girls hurt and they all did, all three of them did. When Eddie was finished nursing, he picked the baby up and held her on his shoulder. She was still fussing, but stopped occasionally to look around the room from her Daddy's shoulder.

Jamie hadn't slept much last night, neither had Eddie, but she was the mother, she was used to lack of sleep, she thrived on that. "Let me take her, Jamie," Eddie offered. "I can rock her in the chair and she'll settle, you need to get some rest."

"I have her, I can't sleep anyway," Jamie replied. "I keep seeing you with that man in my mind's eye."

Eddie sighed, "You won't ever know how sorry I am, at least I hope you never know. This is the worst feeling aside from finding out my Joey was dead. It just happened, I felt sad and alone and it happened. It was wrong."

Jamie took a breath and shut his eyes, true to his words, he saw his Eddie rolling in bed with a man that was not him. If his wife needed that kind of comfort, he should be giving it, not Stephen the biker man. It did figure though, that was Eddie's choice in her early years. "I can handle her a little longer, you go back to bed."

Eddie hadn't been to bed, he knew that, but he wanted to get her to admit it. "I can't sleep either. I'll just go and check on Mary."

That was how it went the rest of the night, they both stayed up, each too stubborn to give in to the other or their body's need for sleep. Bella finally stopped fussing around dawn, Eddie laid her down after another feed, then curled up next to Mary for a few hours or rest.

Jamie went back to Joey's room, holding the boy's teddy bear. Both he and Eddie were trying to forget the pain in their hearts, but even more, that it was inflicted by someone they loved.

Mary always slept in after therapy and Bella was sleepy and didn't cry until nearly nine for some more food. While Eddie fed the still feverish baby, Jamie got Mary up.

He helped her into the wheelchair and to the kitchen for breakfast.

They made pancakes and sausage links for her, Eddie ate a little bit, still holding Bella in her arms. "What's wrong with Bella Mommy, she cried a lot."

"Bella doesn't feel good honey," Eddie told her cradling their baby

"She got a sore throat?" Mary asked. She and Joe had both been prone to tonsillitis.

"No honey she has a fever and is feeling pretty yucky," Eddie said

Mary reached out and patted Bella's head, "Ssh...You can sit with me and we'll read."

"That would be really nice Mary," Eddie smiled at her.

"After breakfast I'll help you do your exercises honey."

Mary made a face at that, turning to eat her breakfast, not answering.

They got into their routine, Jamie gave Bella a bath to help her feel better, Eddie did Mary's new stretch, and then the girl napped. While Jamie was rocking Bella, Eddie's phone that she left on the desk beeped. It said Steven: How are you doing?

Jamie frowned, a million things running through his mind, debating whether or not to answer it.

Finally, he picked the device up and tossed it at Eddie, "Here, it went off, it's your boyfriend!"

Eddie looked up at him shaking her head, "No, Jamie he isn't my boyfriend."

"Well you slept with him and he's texting you so... "Jamie sulked off to Joey's room. Eddie got up to follow him, "We have to talk about this, and you can't shut me out this way."

"I don't want to talk about it Eddie he's waiting for your answer," Jamie replied

"He's not getting an answer," Eddie began as the tears choked her throat. "I love you, this was all a terrible mistake. It was only once Jamie, it will never happen again with him or anyone else!"

Jamie sighed and looked away, "Do what you want Eddie, I don't care."

Eddie's eyes teared up, "Jamie talk to me don't brush this off I want us to work it out."

"I cannot talk to you now Eddie!" Jamie thundered. "I can't look at you! I see you with him...I can't!" His tone was so sharp it scared Bella, she started to cry again.

Jamie was still in a slow burn when he left that Tuesday morning. He barely spoke to Eddie about anything not even the girls. Eddie couldn't stand the tension between them, he wouldn't even listen to her.

She was concerned about group that night, Jamie had to work he wouldn't be there, but she had to go, she needed that support just to breathe. She would avoid Steven but she had to go for her own sanity. Eddie realized she needed to talk with someone so as the girls napped-she called her friend Hailey.

Hailey quickly agreed to come and have lunch with Eddie at the house and watch the girls for group. "Thanks Hailey I have to go and Jamie and I aren't speaking right now."

"Tell me from the beginning what happened, I thought that you were working things out after..."

"We were but things just crumbled," Eddie sighed explaining everything. "Jamie insisted on going to Danny's birthday and I asked him not to go because we had group and he has to work but he didn't come, he didn't listen." Eddie sighed. "That brought back a lot of my anger about the shooting. Jamie ignored me then and our son died."

"Wait Eddie slow down and go back. Did you talk to him about all this?"

"No, and that's not the only reason we have the problem," Eddie replied. "There is this other father at group, who lost a son in a similar way to me and... long story ...I cheated on Jamie. He keeps saying he is my boyfriend that he sees us together when he tries to sleep. It was wrong but it was once..."

"Yes, you did betray him," Hailey replied. 'But he betrayed you too, more than the once come to think of it. You've play second fiddle more than once in this marriage and that last time well, we all know what happened then."

I know Hailey but I love him. I know we are meant to be together. He is so angry at me right now," Eddie sighed.

Hailey covered Eddie's hand, "You two have been through so much. The loss of a child, I can't fathom how that hurts and you forgave him, Eddie. You forgave him for not listening to you, for being with his marked brother, and getting your son killed. You said yourself Danny drew the fire to the car and you still forgave Jamie, remind him of that."

"He won't listen. Anytime I try to talk to him he just freezes me out," Eddie said in frustration.

"Well, this group you are going to, the grief one, who leads it?" Hailey asked. "Reverend Thomas," Eddie replied. "He's a minister but he's also a grief counselor."

Maybe the Reverend can talk to Jamie then he'll have no choice but to listen," Hailey suggested.

"Maybe," Eddie replied and covered her face. "I can't lose him too Hailey, I need him. I need him so much."

"I know, try this it might work if not Reverend may know what to do."

"Thanks, Hailey," Eddie smiled. "Would you mind listening for the girls, I really need to sleep a little bit."

"Of course not, you need the sleep. Don't worry about a thing I have it taken care of."

"Thanks," Eddie replied and headed to her room. Her phone was on the night stand, Steven had text her again, "Are you coming tonight..." She blocked the number.

While she slept, Hailey checked in on the girls. Then she sat down keeping an ear out in case they woke so Eddie could sleep.

Bella did wake and fussed, so Hailey made her a bottle of breastmilk and sat with the little girl. Mary still required a lot of sleep to heal.

"There you go. It's okay I'm glad to see you and help Mommy out," Hailey smiled at Bella.

Bella kicked and cooed, she was a good and content baby most of the time. She didn't have a clue what marred her family, she didn't' remember her old brother, she didn't know a different life than this one.

Across town Jamie sat at work thinking over everything, phone in his hand.

How could she? How could he? They were friends or at least friendly, they shook hands, they had coffee and he...Jamie couldn't let it go, he just couldn't let it go.

Looking down at his phone Jamie thought about calling him for a man to man talk, he needed answers.

The more he thought about it, the more he needed to do this face to face...he was going to that meeting tonight...and he wasn't giving anyone any warnings!