Chapter Twenty-Two

The fireman that saved Jaxson and Eddie was also waiting outside the room to see how she was doing. Jaxson had been in a vacuum, he didn't inhale anywhere near the amount of smoke Eddie did, even being so much smaller. Still, he'd seen people with worse injuries, much worse, that walked away. It was her words to him as she lost consciousness that got to him and bothered him so much.

"Excuse me, I hope it's a good time," he spoke softly. "I'm Ben, I was on the fire crew, and I wanted to see how she was doing?"

"Oh, she's okay, she's going to be all right. I can't thank you enough," Jamie replied and extended his hand, not taking his eyes off of Eddie.

"Can we have a word? Eddie said something to me before she lost consciousness and…well we all know about your son and we're so very sorry," he said. "You should know what she said to me."

Jamie nodded, "Yes, I just can't leave her though. If she wakes up at all, she'll be disoriented, she doesn't wake up well from medication."

Ben nodded, "Your wife is a hero, no question. She wanted us to make sure we saved that boy, if there was a choice, she wanted to be sure we chose to save the boy and for a Mom that's normal. She wanted to let you know that she loved your children and that she was sorry. She was totally at peace with going to be with your boy and you being here for your other children. I've seen a lot on this job and her depression and sadness spoke volumes...I thought you should know."

Jamie sighed, "I knew she was hurting but I didn't know it went that far, I should have, before all of this I would have…thank you so much for telling me this. Thank you for saving her life, and mine."

Ben nodded, "All in day's work…"

Ben left the couple alone, Charlie watched from the corner as Jamie began to talk things out with his wife.

Jamie laid is head close to Eddie and held her hand to his cheek, "I know you can hear me. I know on some level you can hear me."

A machine beeped in response Eddie remaining perfectly still, eyes closed.

"I don't know how we got here, I really don't," Jamie replied. "We have always been able to get through things together, as a team."

He sighed sitting back down in a chair by her bed watching Eddie quietly for a minute.

Charlie watched his partner from his space in the corner, he could see the conflict on his face. This situation was bad, it was very bad.

Jamie fell into a quiet reflection watching, worried as Eddie lay still this was not like her

"I know I shut you out," he began. "I know I started to go out for beers and playing games instead of being home with you and the girls. I was hiding, I was mourning too, but I didn't do it with you, and I should have. We should have done that part as partners but we didn't and my leaving you alone so much hurt you to the point you had to go find someone else to absorb that pain..." Jamie was close to tears.

"I just need you to know that you have to be okay Eddie you just have to be."

"I need you, the girls need you, and Joey, he's all around us, honey. He's all around us and we love you so much..." Jamie sighed. "I don't know what the future holds for our marriage, Eddie, I really do feel so betrayed by what happened, but I know I can't lose my best friend, and I need you to come out of this, come through this. We can't see if there is any glimmer of light left, we can't try to pick up and move on if you don't. I know you feel so alone, and I'm going to think really hard about making things better, and finding a way to go on."

The machine beeped but Eddie remained as she was, perfectly still, eyes closed

Jamie kissed her gently on the lips, he knew they had a lot of work, he had to let go of his anger, Eddie had to let go of hers, but they were surrounded by bad memories here.

"Hey, how long have you been here?" Jamie asked wiping his eyes.

"Long enough. Look Jamie, I heard what you said. You and Eddie have something special, you've both been through a lot of pain."

"Yes we have," Jamie replied. "So much of that was on me, I should have listened to her and then I chose to spend time with you and hide from my own pain..." Charlie put his hand on Jamie's shoulder.

"It isn't too late for you two Jamie. You have too many bad memories here. Once Eddie is better take her and the girls and start over somewhere else."

"Our family is here," Jamie replied. "The girls are so close to my father and Mary's friends are here. We have talked about it, moving away but..."

Charlie sighed, it was time to level with his friend, "You know Jamie truth be told I love my life but your life…that's love I'll never know, try and salvage this. I know you're hurt but so is she... she's in a very dark place you need to get her the hell out of here"

Jamie sighed turning back to Eddie deep in thought. Was that the key to saving everything?

"She was a hero today," Charlie continued. "it's time for you to be her hero, if you two try and fail then that's your destiny, but you have to try this away from your family, away from the memories, stop thinking and do it, just do it!"

"Thanks Charlie," Jamie nodded watching Eddie quietly. He had a lot to think about.

The medication wore off around midnight. Eddie started to stir, "Joe...Mommy's here coming Joe."

Jamie stirred from a light sleep sitting up. "Eddie? Eddie open your eyes."

She moaned, her throat hurt, her lungs burned.

"Eddie, I know it hurts try and open those eyes for me," Jamie encouraged

She opened her eyes, they hurt and stung. She looked around, this wasn't Heaven.

"Eddie thank God. I was so worried, how are you feeling?"

"Jamie?" As he predicted she was confused.

"Yeah I came soon as dad told me, you scared me Eddie."

"Dad?" she had no idea where she was or what was going on around her. "What happened? Where are the kids?"

"It's ok Eddie the kids are safe, Baker and Dad have them. You were taken to the hospital after running into the fire."

Fire...slowly it began to come back. She had run out then saw that mother crying for her baby like she did on nearly a daily basis. "Oh, Jax...Jaxson, did he...tell me the truth Jamie, did he get out is he okay?"

"He's fine his mom came in earlier to see you she's so thankful," Jamie said.

Eddie breathed a sigh of relief, then, "What are you doing here? Why aren't you out with Charlie or something?"

"Because you're in the hospital Eddie of course I'm going to be here."

She sighed, "I see..." Maybe she should have done something drastic before. Instead she pushed herself up, "When can I go home? We need to go back to the girls.'

"The doctor wants to keep you to monitor your breathing. I can ask my dad to bring the girls later."

Eddie nodded slowly, "Mary...is she okay? She is scared without us. Jamie..."

Jamie sat on the bed taking her hand, "Mary is fine for now honey my Dad is taking good care of her."

"Honey..." Eddie sighed. "Been a long time..." she took a long slow breath, then fell asleep.

Eddie recovered well, Mary struggled with being apart from her mother. She struggled with separation before but now it was ten times worse. This was something Jamie hoped to heal with the move as well. Perhaps moving was the only way to save what was left of his family. Jamie brought the girls often to see her putting them down for naps in the big bed.

Jamie sat down on the side of their bed. They sat and looked at each other for a long time the nerves reminiscent of their first date, only with fear and trepidation instead of joy and anticipate. Jamie forced a smile letting her know he was nervous too putting his hands on the table, black and blue -and swollen. She had been too out of it in the hospital to react to the bruising, but now…

"Oh Jamie," she gently touched his hands. "Oh my, does it hurt?" Jamie sucked in a breath, "Only every minute of everyday day since it happened. I can't ice my heart as much as I'd like to," Jamie replied. "I am not sorry for this Eddie, I'm not sorry that I beat on him. He took advantage"

Eddie sighed, "Jamie it wasn't just him in this. I'm sorry for what happened."

"I know you are sorry, we are all sorry, but that doesn't change things at least for me. We can't go on like we are here." Eddie nodded pulling her hands back looking up at him. The only reason he didn't say it before is because of her being in the hospital. He still wanted a divorce.

"Things need to change in order for us to heal, Eddie" Jamie said softly. "We aren't going to heal here in New York, everywhere we go there are memories. Eddie's eyes teared lightly, heart thumping hard as she braced for him to say it. All they had been through was about to come crashing down.

"I have been thinking a lot about this and I have to say I think that moving will be the right thing for me and the girls.

Tears began to fall from her eyes, "Jamie don't take my girls away from me I need them and they need me."

"I do want to take my girls," Jamie replied, "All of my girls." His eyes sparkled.

Eddie looked up meeting his eyes her own watery still sniffling. "All of your girls?"

"Yes," he replied then his tone changed to that cool business tone he was famous for. "It is this or we have to separate. I can't close my eyes and not see you with him. I don't even know if I can be with you like a husband anymore."

"Jamie, take us where," Eddie asked in between sniffles unsure of where his head was.

"There is a job, Lancaster County needs a Sheriff and Danny has some friends that can get me in that spot," he replied. "We can try for a while, say six months?"

Eddie raised an eyebrow at him, "Danny does? Jamie what about Mary and everything we built here?"

"I think this is best for Mary too, a change..." He replied. "We can get her doctors in Pennsylvania, it's a slower calmer life. You always said home was where I was...for you and the girls."

"Yeah I did, are you really serious about moving?" Eddie asked.

"Yes," he replied. "I think it's our only chance at saving this."

"You don't have to answer right now Eddie take a few days to think it over," Jamie said.

Eddie sighed, "I don't need a few days, and my home is where you are. We both need to forgive each other and we both need to forgive ourselves for two very horrific things that happened, one made the other so much worse," Eddie apologized. "Believe me or not it will never happen again, you and our children are my life."

Jamie smiled softly and nodded. They talked a few more minutes, then Jamie had to go off to work and Eddie had to get Mary ready for her therapy. He didn't say for sure if he'd be home that night, but Eddie hoped.