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Except for this kind of little incidents, the days were going without troubles. As the two aloof apostates they ultimately were, they were doing just fine with a silent walk. Occasionally they would talk, mostly about the Fade – safe common ground subject.

As he had noticed, after the night he found her in the forest, she was avoiding falling asleep near to anyone. She liked her loneliness, and he did not question the why. He thought her nightmare a one-time issue, she was hiding her trouble quite well. In truth, the nightmares were there, relentless, every night.

Nightmares she had had since Redcliffe without letting anyone know.

They had worked on keeping the demons away in the day, and nothing like her panic attack happened again. However, she didn't mention him what was happening when she entered the Fade. The Anchor granted her the abilities of a dreamer – like him. A dreamer would drive the attention of demons more than a mage, add to this the beacon that was the Anchor, the violent distress she felt because of Redcliffe, of Haven…There was an army lingering in the shadows next to her. And she had no idea how to control that.

She regretted the absence of Cassandra. Her seeker training was useful for her situation. Once or twice, without anyone knowing about it except the two of them, she had asked her a magic cleanse when the exhaustion was too much to take. Of course, her explanation of the why to the seeker had been the understatement of the year. She could not let her know the entire truth. She would never have left her side and the refugee needed protection more than she needed rest. And, even if she was getting alone with the woman, she was an apostate and she was a templar – sort of. She could not let her know the truth of her situation, she would freak out and she didn't trust freaked-out-templar-instincts.

When she managed on the first night to draw discreetly her cot up far from him, he did not question it. Considering, it was a wise call for both of them. Between the veilfire and the blankets, the cold of the night was not such a problem. Especially when both of them could cast warming spells if needed.

The second night however, he heard her struggle. Exhausted, she fell asleep right after dinner. He decided to take a walk. When he got closer to her, he heard her scared whispers, her sobs, saw the sweat on her forehead, the agitation of her limbs. His heart broke. He was the one who did this to her. Ir abelas, vhenan…

He came closer, looking for a way to ease her sleep without making his awareness known. She was too proud to let anyone see her weak. If she could have help it, she would never have fallen asleep before him. But her nights had probably been restless since Haven. Maybe even…Redcliffe. She won't let me. Not anymore. Had said Cole. Had the spirit been helping her since Redcliffe? How did you miss it?! He chastised himself. You saw how she was after Redcliffe! And after Haven, she had a panic attack, then you found her in a tree, where she was obviously having a nightmare, how did you miss it?!

He hesitated. Reaching her in the Fade was an option but it could not be his first. There were very few things more intrusive than popping into someone's dreams…Waking her was not the right call either. She needed to rest, he had to help her sleep not to prevent her from it. Thinking, he squatted next to her. He put his hand on her shoulder. Her body shuddered a bit but she remained asleep. Instinctively, one of her hand came on top of his. He leaned his lips to her ear whispering elvhen words in a low comforting voice.

Her heartbeat slowed. It was still quick and loud but he could tell the difference. Maybe it was that simple…He thought, remembering Varric's words. He moved a little to lay properly without breaking physical contact. He held her in his embrace, his hand taking hers to stop the tremors. The elvhen was coming in a loop, as a sweet lullaby. He sometimes stroked gently her white hair. Her trouble was easing bit by bit with the words. Her head rested against his chest. He remembered Cole's words. She needed to know someone was alive…

When her sleep was finally calm, he stayed a little more, making sure the nightmare wasn't coming back. After an hour, he moved quietly to his own cot, blaming himself for not realizing her trouble sooner. Leaving her side at this very moment had been one of the hardest thing he had to do…He chased the thought. He could not let himself think about what will eventually happen. For now, they had to beat Corypheus or it would not even matter.

It became a habit of his during the next nights. He would stay up late, waiting for her to find her sleep. Then, he would lay next to her and help her defeat the nightmares. Each time, the weight in his chest when he left her seemed to become even heavier. Sparring some of his own sleep hours, he was more tired than he admitted. But he didn't care. It didn't matter. The darker the rings around his eyes became, the lighter were hers. He intercepted some concern looks of her during the day. But she respected too much his privacy to ask, confident that he knew she was here to listen and help if needed.

The fourth night of his little trick, the wind was colder. He decided to take his blanket with him when he went to Mahariel. As he fondled gently her hair, his fingers entwined with hers, the soft whisper reaching her ear, sleep claimed him without warning.

He woke up few hours later, in the middle of the night, with a shiver. The memory came back in a flash as he noticed the emptiness of the space in front of him. Fenedhis! You idiot, how could you be so careless, falling asleep next to her…What may she think now, pressing your body against hers in her sleep! He turned his gaze around, looking for her. No matter how much he was embarrassed, he was too concerned by her absence not to look. His eyes laid on the woods nearby. He jumped on his feet.

He found her perched on a branch, staring at the sky. The moon was full. Seeing she was fine, he considered turning back, his embarrassment coming back in a rush. As if she felt his hesitation, her head spun a little towards him, letting him know she was aware of his presence. He took a deep breath.

"Herald, I – "

"The Veil is thin here." Interrupted she, taking one of his own line. After few seconds, he nodded, confused. She went down, taking on her not to jump. Silent, she indicated him to join her with a slight movement of the head. Too uncomfortable to question the command, he complied. After few minutes of a silent walk, he answered.

"You said the Veil is thin here…The nightmares are louder here, are they not?"

She sighed. When she woke up and find him near her, she suspected as much. After all, it was how he defeated her panic attack. Even if they were not without trouble, her nights had been bearable for the last days, unlike the others since Haven. It began after Redcliffe, but it turned daily since Haven. Add to it the weird relation between her dark circles and his…She had him to thanks for that too. She nodded. He took another deep breath.

"Ir abelas, Mahariel. I overstepped my rights. I will understand if you want to wait for the main convoy to travel with someone else." Her eyes wide-opened, she looked at him with surprise.

"I'm not mad at you, Solas. You offered me some rest. If anything, I'm mad at myself for taking away yours. This is my burden, not yours. I should have been more careful, you were never supposed to know." She shook her head, chastising herself on the inside.

"I went behind your back, lethallan" Literally you sick man. Argued he.

"We both know I would not have accepted your help." He frowned a bit with surprise. She was as careful with her choice of words as he was. Would.

"Will you now?"

"That depends. If I say yes, do you promise me to allow yourself some rest as well?" Startled, he genuinely grinned with a small chuckle.

"That's a deal, vhenan."

The last word crossed his mouth so naturally, he didn't even notice what he just said. She didn't point it out, too busy fighting – poorly – to keep her composure. Eventually, a smile and a blush took place on her face as she let out a little giggle. I really need to do something about this ridiculous noise which keeps coming out…It was not the first time he used it, but the first time it was actually meant to be heard. They got back to the camp. Despite the words they exchanged, his hand reached his blanket in order to go back to his own spot. She frowned a bit and instinctively, she caught his hand.

"Ghilas vellathan." I'd rather you stay close. He nodded with an imperceptible smile and warmth in his chest. He laid on the ground and held her in a caring embrace.

The morning after, Solas woke up before Mahariel. It was later than usual for the two elves. His arms were still around her but he was no longer on his back. They moved for a face-to-face cuddling sleeping arrangement during the night. Her head was buried in his chest, her hands…ended up under his tunic? He considered the fact coyly, stroking instinctively her bare skin – wait what? He could speak of her hands, his were barely above her behind fondling her lower back. Their legs were entangled. And it came so naturally as they were sleeping…I'm so deep in it.

Thinking of what lead to this precise situation, his vhenan popped out in his head. When did he stop fighting with his mouth wanting to call her that? And why did she not react? What reaction were you expecting? She realized the word was never supposed to cross your lips, of course she did not react. And she was right not to. You are just helping her fight the nightmares and only because you are the only one around. Stop thinking about it, this is madness, this is wrong – It all but feel wrong. And what? You have a plan and you know what it involves. Is it not wrong to get caught in some emotional entanglement? – She is not what I expected, what if I was wrong, what if this world has more to offer than I thought? Is it not wrong to pretend to be blind? – There is no other way – And what if they were, it is not like I gave it that much thoughts. I thought this was a world of tranquil, if it is not…– this is purely theoretical, you cannot allow to let a mortal change everything – But she already did – I am aware of that – Fenedhis will you SHUT UP. He stopped his argument with himself for a second. He needed his head clear to think rationally. And a clear head could not happen while she was in his arms.

A feline yawn definitely put an end to the fight between his inner voices. Two sleepy green-blue lagoon eyes looked up at him, obviously wondering for few seconds how they ended up like this tooA truthful smile took his features with hearing the absolute adorable noise. It swiped his thoughts away. He stroked some strands behind her ear. She smiled to him and looked quickly at the sky.

"Hum, I take it we overslept. But look at this!" she added, brushing his face. "we prevailed over these bloody dark circles!" Wow, I managed to take my hands off his shirt without it being awkward! Victory of the morning!

He noticed her little maneuver, muttering a chuckle at it. His eyes glanced down at her lips. It would have felt so natural to simply kiss her. Her eyes mirrored his, hesitation palpable in both of them for a moment. He eventually cleared his throat, giving a look at the sky as well.

She shook her head to clear her mind and rolled out of the blankets. This had been a nice interlude but they had a job to do. Well and, secondly, she was not exactly eager to linger here until the main convoy ran into them. She could hear the Niiiice of Iron Bull from here and see Varric's smirk. Bad idea, even worst that the mentioned sleeping arrangement – Arrrh no, second thoughts later, got to move!

During the day, they never mentioned it. They were just walking, in silence or talking about safe common ground topic. They spoke about elven culture, even if avoiding obviously the Dalish question. Maybe they would occasionally glance a bit more at each other but nothing too obvious.

They made their mission not to walk too close from one another. The worst – or best, depending of where they were in their little loop of thoughts about it – was feeling their magic stirred together. It was a weird thing to describe. Mahariel's magic felt like a winter breeze over a waterfall hiding a new world, frozen blue, but delicate and warm as well. Solas' magic felt like the murmur of an ancient forest harboring mystery and untold promises, forest green, comforting and strong. And feeling them meeting each other, dancing around each other, entwining…It was intoxicating, sensual, even erotic without an actual touch between them. It was partially because their magical aura was actually somehow responding to their deepest desire – it didn't do that with the other mages. Hopefully. She had a hard time imagining feeling the same thing when she encountered any mage…Awkward. Still, they were staying apart. This was the only way to keep their magic in check.

However, when the night came they repeated the sleeping arrangement and that until the end of the journey. It was a secret between them that did not need any words and may never be discovered. Three nights later and during the afternoon, they climbed a mountain and there, she laid her eyes on it. Skyhold.

They entered the stronghold. It was only the two of them. Considering the last message of Leliana, the main convoy shall arrive in two days. She was amazed by the place. She looked at each brick, stairs…She felt herself getting emotional. They did it. A home. A place where the people would be safe. He looked at her excitement with genuine happiness. It was the right call. She will put it at good use. This place had always been special to him. It had been his stronghold, then his secret for millennia. But he was sure. It was time for him to give it to someone who will make it even more special. Loan it. They are mortals. She is mortal. A bitter heartache took him. Right. But maybe…She has the fire of our people, she is a mage – even if your plan does not doom her, which is very unlikely, the Anchor does – This is my magic. If someone can fix it, it is me – This is a long-shot… – but one worth it – and then what? You save her while you doom everyone she cares for? His teeth gritted as the weight in his chest became heavier.

She was restless, going from one side to another with a lightness…The grace of her movements, the happiness in her aura…Suddenly she spun back to him. He raised an eyebrow and smirked. What was she up to? She was not very far from him. She beamed once more when her eyes laid on him. She ran towards him and jumped in his arms.

"Ma serannas lethallin…Just...Ma serannas."

He instinctively hugged her back, warmth replacing the weight in his chest.

She was not the physical type. She started at anyone barely touching her. And yet in these last days, she had find herself cuddling with him more than she had since she was a kid. Her spring scent tingled his nose.

He wanted to keep her close but she eventually called off the embrace. However, she reached his hands as she stepped back. Of course, he knew the place already, but she intended to make her excitement contagious. She dragged him around the buildings. Skyhold needed a lot of renovation, but she could already see what it will become. In the garden, she would point at every side, saying precisely what seed they will put here. In the hallway, she pictured big fereldans mabari statues – she was quite fond of the dogs – Sorry, glorious war hounds – hanging with the inquisition eye…Or maybe something more diplomatic, like a hanging for everyone! Templar, mage, Orlais, Ferelden, Grey Warden…Why not the Dalish too! They ended up on the battlements, searching over the clean horizon for the others. Busy with the visit for hours, they finally drew camp up in the courtyard. The mood was lighter than ever during the diner. They soon went to sleep, the mind at ease.

The next day, Mahariel decided to put her time at good use. She began an inventory for Josephine. Around noon, she let her task aside and looked for Solas. She finally found him in a rotunda near the – future – main hall. He was painting. She stared at him for several minutes. His shape was perfect, the sweet lines melting into the stronger, the curves...She bit her bottom lip. Well, the painting was pretty good too. The stroke was meticulous. It looked like old elven paintings. The panel he was working on seemed to represent the Conclave. It was stunning. She was pressed against the wooden door in this particular nonchalant posture. His head turned halfway towards her. She could guess the smirk.

"Need something, lethallan?"

"Just enjoying the view." She replied smirking as well. He shook his head with a quiet laughter. He finished some details and put down his brush to fully face her – definitely smirking.

"Don't you have something to do today?"

"Yep and guess what? Inventory is just as fun as it sounds. Not at all."

"Coming here for a distraction, I gather?" His voice was slightly mischievous. She smiled and took few steps around, studying his work.

"I didn't know you were painting. Is there anything you don't know?"

"One rarely bragged about what he ignores. You said it yourself, my name is Solas. I'd rather not let you know." She giggled at the reference.

"Where did you find paints?"

"There was a remaining stock, preserved by an enchantment."

"I see." Her hand reached for her face "Can you tell if this paint is toxic for the skin?"

"It is not."

She nodded, thoughtful. She was not sure what to do with this. How many people saw her vallaslin, anyway? She could not resume her play. But…

"Thoughts?" asked he, considering her lasting silence. She shook slightly her head.

"I don't know. I feel like there is no point to hide them. All of the survivors saw them, 'tis not some kind of secrets anymore. I cannot ask a whole town to keep that to themselves. They won't understand and it will leak eventually. Still, I am not in peace with the idea of not covering them."

"You covered them a long-time. A lot happened since you harbored them proudly and openly. You are not the same person anymore." She snorted.

"Understatement of the year. The People will always come first but I cannot pretend like these years did not happen. I don't want to. For all I defended and said of the Dalish, there is so much I cannot be proud about what they are. What I was. Spitting on every human, on every elf who was not one of us. This is not right. Without forgetting I have been banished."

"You are allowed to be mad at them, lethallan." She shook her head.

"No. This was my call."

"It does not mean a part of you did not hope your People will stand for you as you stand for them."

"They did what they had to, to protect the People. 'Tis all that matter."

"You never said why you left in a first place. Or what exactly you have been doing after."

"I know." Came the short answer.

He remained silent a time, hesitating. He could offer her to take the vallaslin away but he did not really feel like it was the right call. Not for now, at least.

"To come back on the vallaslin, maybe it is simpler than you think. Maybe it is time for you to stop hiding, not just these but all of your tattoos. You are not the same person that these blood writing describe. Your body is bearing the demonstration of it." She considered his words.

"This is a good point. I will think about it. Thank you, Solas."

They discussed for a while and took lunch together before going back to their respective activities. They met again in the late afternoon. After dinner, they went for a long walk on the battlements. Their hands found each other as they remained silent, enjoying one more untold secret, and everything it meant. She stopped to watch the moon and leaned a bit forward. They could see the fires of a big camp not so far. They would join them the next day. He sighed on the inside and wrapped his arms around her. She felt his warm breath on her neck. He breathed the floral scent of her hair. One of her hand grabbed gently the arm around her. None of them felt strong enough to break the moment. This was going to stop as soon as the others arrived. These moments will eventually fall into the shadows – where they belong. It is for the best. This is unwise and ill-considered. They were not speaking but their thoughts echoed each other. But whatever they thought, tonight, they couldn't let it go.

"I am going to miss you, vhenan." He whispered in the lowest voice he had.

"Me too." She answered just as low.

Once they were back in the courtyard, they shared an already melancholic look. They soon went to sleep. As he embraced her and her head found its place on his chest, he faintly kissed the top of it. That night, she felt his arms tighter around her.