Chapter Thirty

They sat at a quiet table in the corner of the restaurant. Jamie ordered a drink for each of them while Angela and Eddie went to the ladies' room. "My dear,' Angela said softly. "I just want to say from one mother to another, how sorry I am about your children. I don't know what it is to lose a child, praise the Lord, but I do know what it's like to see one in pain, both things must wound you deeply."

"I ache every day for my Joey," Eddie replied. "But Mary…she is…She is so strong. Mary is by far the strongest of us, and I know in my heart my little girl will walk one day without that brace, without those crutches, I know that."

Angela moved to embrace Eddie, she gratefully accepted the older woman's hug. A few tears ran out of her eyes as she remembered her bright eyed and happy little boy. "I'm hoping the change is good for my family," Eddie replied. "This is hard to bear for me as Joey's mother, but Jamie's borne the brunt of the guilt. He was with Joey when he was…" Eddie swallowed. "We better get back."

While the ladies' were in the powder room, Jamie spoke with Sheriff Paul. "This is a healing place. Things happen here that don't happen other places in the world. I was lead Deputy during the Nickel Mines shooting…I've lived in Lancaster County all my life. I lived and worked beside the Amish my entire life, but even I was floored at their ability to forgive the man that did what was done there and to embrace his widow and support her as if she were one of their own. I think you will find the peace you seek for your family. Tomorrow I'll introduce you and your wife to some of the elders, they will help you get accepted with your Amish neighbors. You are surrounded in the house you chose, was that by design?"

"No," Jamie replied. "I didn't really think about the Amish at all, not really. We chose that house because it's ranch style for Mary."

"Ah, yes," the Sheriff replied. "Young Mary."

They discussed the plans for her care until the women came back. Both men stood to welcome their wives back to the table. Jamie noticed the tear tracks on Eddie's face, he silently asked "Are you okay?"

She nodded but squeezed his hand, needing a little bit of his strength to buck up and continue through the dinner.

As the two couples were on the dance floor, Eddie let her head fall onto Jamie's chest, they each relished in the feel of each other's bodies so close again. They hadn't been this close to one another since that night after the funeral, perhaps, that's what pushed her away and into someone else's life, Jamie wondered. He held a little tighter.

When the dance finished, they returned to the table to find yet another course of rich food on it. They exchanged glances when a new bottle of wine appeared. They had to be polite and drink at least some of it, even if it was going to both their heads.

They started to talk again about Jamie's work history and his plans for the county. "I think that we will have to tighten the reins for lack of a better word on some of the hate crime activity. I know that most of it is cultural for the area but we don't want another Nickel Mines or Fulham County and that's what we'll get if what you've said is accurate."

"Oh," Angela replied. "It certainly is, there has been mounting trouble and now that the position is appointed and not elected Jamie can make some real inroads here. I think Don and the Mayor talked to him about this at his last trip out here."

Jamie nodded, "Yeah, I'm sure and I'm looking forward to taking a bite out of this and with my wife by my side." Jamie gave Eddie a warm smile.

When they got back to the Sheriff's house that night and settled in their room, Jamie sat down next to Eddie. "Talk to me. You stiffened up like a board when we were dancing, and the look on your face. Talk to me please."

Eddie took a deep breath, "I'm just…" The tears threatened. "I miss him, Jamie. I miss Joey so badly and seeing those buggies with big families and Angela mentioning him to us and…there's just so much, Jamie. There is just so much that still hurts and I find myself more and more frightened every day!"

"Of what?" Jamie asked, reaching out to hold her hands. "Of what, tell me."

Eddie started to cry, "I'm frightened that after the five months is up I won't want to be married anymore…even if…even if you do."

Don't say that Eddie we will work it out I know we will. You and I have been through so much and we are meant to be together."

"Then why..." Eddie sobbed. "Why is this happening?"

Sighing Jamie kissed the top of her head, "I don't know honey but we'll be okay we have each other." Eddie cried. She sobbed and wrapped her arms around her self holding herself.

All Jamie could do was hold her and gently kiss Eddie's head reassuring her.

She took a long breath in and held tight to Jamie. It felt good to be held like that.

"I will always love you Eddie," Jamie whispered softly.

"You haven't acted like it..." Eddie sobbed. "I know I'm...I know it..." He didn't know what to do so he simply rocked her and snuggled her.

As Jamie rocked her, he rubbed his hand over Eddie's back. "Tell me that you still...that we can make it work..." She sighed. "Tell me we..." She shook with so much emotion coming up.

"Of course we can Eddie I really believe we can make this work."

Jamie slowly helped Eddie get into bed. "Lean back and try to rest a bit."

She looked up at him blue eyes rounded, "are you going to stay with me?"

"Of course," he replied. "Of course" They only had the one bed and he couldn't explain a marital rift to his new boss, but he sincerely needed things to be better. He took her shoes off and laid down next to her simply holding her.

Jamie moved closer to her securing her body to his. Eddie looked up, giving him a gentle smile eyes twinkling. "I miss you so much Eddie," Jamie snuggled her. "I miss us. I miss being together."

"You do? Because I miss it too, I miss a lot of things about being with you Jamie."

"You pulled away from me Jamie that really hurt."

"I love you, Eddie," he sighed. "We need to remember, like I said what makes our marriage special. We need to remember why we fell in love."

Eddie got quiet slowly nodding, "Jamie you are the best person I know, you're my best friend."

"And you are mine," Jamie replied. "I'm so sorry I hurt you by pushing you back. I know that Steven was a symptom of great pain you were in and what I didn't give you. I know you belong to me.'

"We belong to each other Jamie that's how it should be," Eddie said quietly

"That's how it will be," he murmured. "We are soulmates. Let's start new."

"That sounds good Jamie let's start new," she reached a hand out to him.

They woke in each other's arms to the warm aroma of bacon and waffles. Eddie's eyes and head hurt

"Rest Eddie I'm right here," Jamie whispered watching her as he wrapped his arms tighter around her.

"No, we have to get up. Angela is making us breakfast, you are meeting that community leader and the landlord said we can get in the house this afternoon," Eddie replied. "I'm okay." She leaned up and gave him a soft kiss. "I feel a lot better after we talked."

Jamie ran his hand down her cheek, "Me too. This place will be healing, I know it. I'll go down and make your coffee like you like it. Take your time."

Eddie pulled on a form fitting pair of black boot flare pants and a blue blouse. She put her curled hair in a ponytail on the top of her head and wore a black sweater over the blouse.

Eddie was still upset reaching for his hand needing a reassurance they were still close.

Jamie wanted to give it to her, this place would heal. "He slowly gave her hand a squeeze, moving closer and smiling.

Don took them out to see the lay of the land. This is a pretty large district and this is where Levi Fischer lives. He is a bishop here."

"This place is something else definitely not like New York huh Eddie?"

"Not at all," Eddie smiled. "Much more relaxed."

"Definitely more relaxed," Jamie nodded smiling at Eddie.

"Levi," Don smiled at the older bearded gentleman. "This is our soon to be new sheriff and his wife, Eddie."

Levi extended a hand to them smiling, "It's great to meet you both."

Eddie wasn't sure how to take this man, he was warm and embraced them with his smile. "It's very nice to be here."

"Much different then where you're from I bet. I am really eager to have you settle in with us."

"Eddie, come meet Levi's wife, Ruth," Angela offered. "She's a very sweet lady." Eddie nodded turning to Jamie slowly letting their hands slip.

"My wife is still deeply struggling with the loss of our son," Jamie explained. "We both miss him but..."

"I'm very sorry to hear that I can't image how hard it must be," Levi said.

"It is a grievous wound," Jamie replied. "But we hope to heal here."

"I hope so as well," Levi added dropping the subject and said simply, "I will pray for that."