Chapter Forty

As much as Jamie would like to, he wasn't able to stay home with Eddie while she recovered, at least not all the time, so before they left, the ladies worked out times they would go over to the house and help care for the kids, Eddie, and the new and improved Cupcake. He had graduated from his obedience training the same day as the shooting.

Jamie felt so secure even though the last thing he wanted was to have to leave. Frank empathized with that.

Any time he had to leave, Jamie would check on Eddie first, after work he'd head right home.

Mary did not fare well the first night, she woke up with bad dreams and ended up in her parents' bed. It had been three days now and they still hadn't had that all-important talk. Eddie was beginning to feel better, she was up and about a bit more before having to go back and rest, they had to talk soon, he was running out of excuses to stay in her room if they didn't.

Jamie came home from work going up to check on Eddie with their faithful pooch at his heels, "Hey how are you feeling? Did you take good care of her, Boy?"

The dog wagged his tail and barked. "Go see Mary," Jamie told the dog and he immediately listened.

"I'm feeling better" she replied and received his kiss. "Mary had therapy today, Faith took her, and she did very well. She's napping."

"Good to hear, all my girls are good," Jamie sat on the bed beside her.

"Jamie," Eddie began softly. "When I feel better, and can move a bit better, do you plan to go back to the other bedroom or..."

"Well Eddie I don't want to, but if you still need more space then I will," Jamie studied her for a reaction

"I think that we had all the space we can take," Eddie replied. "I think we have three months left and we need to try or just give up so..." Jamie's phone rang, another interruption.

Jamie went to get his phone, "Reagan," he said looking at Eddie.

"Sheriff, we need you..." The address went out and Jamie nodded. "Call the van to meet us there, I don't want to spend all night waiting for Caleb to get there." He turned to Eddie, "Death out at the Hindeman place. The husband." He wasn't too old, mid-sixties.

"Oh no go-ahead Jamie I'm going to rest," Eddie looked up at him.

Jamie fluffed her pillows and put her sore arm on one, it hurt because of her ribs, and then he headed out thinking about what he was going to say when he got home. A crowd formed when he arrived, "Hey what do we have?"

"Looks like a natural," Deputy Harris replied. "He went to take a nap, never woke up."

Jamie sighed relieved looking at the man, "Who found him?"

"His wife," she's over there. "Martha."

He gave the older man one more look before going to talk with the wife. "Martha, I'm so sorry for your loss ma'am. Can you tell us how your husband's health has been?"

"He was..." She didn't know. They had lived parallel lives for so long she didn't know if he was sick, she didn't know anything

"Take your time ma'am is there anything that you knew he was having trouble with?"

"He took a bunch of different pills," she replied. "In the cabinet there. I'm sorry, I don't know more...we...our marriage hasn't been right for so long."

Jamie nodded gently, "It's okay, thank you ma'am."

"I did love him," she continued. "But after he...he had an affair years ago and I just held onto to that anger and pain. We didn't split because we had kids and then we just got used to it, we got lazy."

Jamie bit on his lip feeling the familiarity. "I understand ma'am I'm sorry again for your loss." That could be them, him and Eddie. She could die in her sleep in thirty years and he wouldn't know why. Though she vowed not to stay together for their kids, he knew if the divorce talk negatively impacted Mary she would reconsider. Jamie sat caught in his musing.

"Sheriff? Looks like we're good here. The wagon is taking him, but it looks natural so..."

"Uh, can you handle this from here?" Jamie asked "My wife is still not feeling well, and she needs me at home. Have the autopsy done and confirm the medical records."

"Of course, go be with your wife, Sir. I'll call if anything comes up," the deputy nodded.

Jamie had a lot to think about on the way home. They were already living parallel lives, they were already the couple that he had just visited. He didn't want to end up like that widow or have Eddie be her for that matter. He wanted to know his wife, he wanted to love her, hold her, be intimate with her...connected...and that meant forgiving her and forgiving himself. When he arrived home, Jamie headed right upstairs to the bedroom needing to talk with Eddie.

He was surprised but not shocked to see Faith with Eddie in the room that would eventually be Bella's nursey. Eddie had paint samples out, and was speaking to their friend. "We just can't seem to fix things," she told her friend. "I thought for sure this would help things, maybe it's just circumstances now that Mary was sleeping with us. He won't forgive me that mistake, and until he does we can't get past this and learn to be intimate again...not as the people we are now. Maybe we changed too much."

Jamie walked in, "Hey Faith would you please excuse us? I'd like to talk with Eddie."

"Of course," she replied. "I'll see myself out. Your father took the girls for a sleepover in his room."

Jamie nodded and smiled at their friend as she headed to the front door.

Jamie stared at Eddie in her old painting clothes, her hair half in and half out of her ponytail. She must have been feeling better to be tackling this today, or perhaps this was a sign she was ready to move on the same as he was.

"Are you going to sit or just stand there," Eddie asked almost teasingly, she had made the choice to try to fix this, and that meant making it so Jamie could come back into their room for good if he desired.

Jamie took two giant steps forward and with gentle firmness, pulled Eddie into his arms. His lips came down on hers with all of the pent-up emotion he felt in his heart. Much to his delight, Eddie slowly raised her arms and wrapped them around his neck.

Their kisses were soft and gentle, yet demanding and passionate. Their tongues danced back and forth in one another's mouth, they had missed the taste of each other and the deep connection that came from their love making.

They stepped back into the bedroom, not breaking contact with each other as Jamie slowly lowered her to the floor. His hands slowly pulled up on the edge of the loose shirt she wore. There was no bra, she was still too sore for that. Jamie's eyes fell on the bruises and gently rained kissed on them, as if his love and touch would heal the ugly colored skin.

Eddie sighed at the gentle touch, Jamie had made such a turn around since she got hurt, but now he was even more devoted, more focused, the way he had been before everything, the way they had always made love.

"Oh, Eddie," he sighed. "Oh, you feel so good."

"Jamie," she moaned softly in his ear. "Oh, Jamie. I need you so much, I missed you so…"

He took his time, he played with her breasts, exciting her, eliciting her hips to rise and fall letting Jamie know how badly she wanted him. She slowly stripped his clothing off his body revealing his strong, muscled arms, thin torso, and firm legs to her view. They gently pushed their bodies together, skin to skin…

Eddie's thighs gently parted, Jamie settled between them, his sex probing at her own. Eddie opened her eyes and met his, there was love there, a deep and abiding love. She caressed his cheek and whispered in his ear, "I haven't been on birth control for two months, since we stopped…"

Jamie hushed her with a kiss, it didn't matter to him, he didn't want any barriers between them, they had both built those up and now it was time to take them down once and for all.

They both cried out with joy and pleasure as their bodies joined for the first time in so long…their foreheads touched and their lips gently caressed each other as they rode the wave of their passion.

When it was done the tears fell down in earnest on Jamie's face. He was suddenly feeling all the emotion that he'd bottled up since that terrible day. He looked at Eddie, bruised and tired, but still so warm, alive and loving.

"Oh, Jamie," she murmured softly. "Oh, sweetheart…What's wrong?" Eddie asked as she pulled him closer.

"The call I just came from...Jamie hiccupped. "I sat waiting for the coroner with a woman who lost her ex-husband...she didn't know anything about his death. They lost each other, lived parallel lives...I don't want that.

Eddie reached a hand up to gently wipe the tears, "Jamie I don't either"

"She said she always loved him but they lost their way..." He sobbed. "I love you so much, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

"Oh, Jamie I am too I'm sorry for everything," Eddie moved closer if that was even possible and let him cry.

"I got him killed Eddie, I took our boy from you."

"No, I was angry and held onto it blaming you. I'm sorry Jamie I love you."

"Our baby and you, I nearly lost you...I don't blame you for this."

Eddie held him and rocked him slowly. "Let this help us."

He calmed slightly, enough that they were able to make their way to their bedroom and finish this long awaited talk. In one another's arms, they spoke softly

"You made a mistake, and I just shut you down. I made a fatal...how can you look at me? Why do you even still want me?" It hurt Eddie to hear such pain and see such anguish.

"Because you're my best friend and soul mate I love you so much," Eddie whispered

"I don't want to be apart anymore. I want to sleep next to you, I want to hold you and kiss you..." He cupped her wet cheeks and pulled her head towards his, his lips going over hers. "Please."

"I want you too Jamie I don't want to sleep apart anymore. I need you beside me."

She kissed him back gently, "oh..." She sighed with contentment. "When you rejected me after…I just got so angry...I had found forgiveness for you, but you were so closed and cold. You don't listen, and I needed you to."

"I know I regret it so much Eddie. I was so angry but that's past now...I want us to be together always. I love you and I need to be with you."

Eddie reached for him her body protested. She hissed in pain and began to cough, her ribs stinging.

"Oh, Eddie I'm sorry come here, I've got you," Jamie rubbed a gentle hand on her back.

"Guess some things need to wait," she laughed. "Then spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak as they say. I'm okay."

"It's okay I'm not going anywhere," Jamie assured holding her.

Eddie laid her head on his chest, "We still have lot of healing to do."

"Yes, but we're willing to try now and that's a start," Jamie smiled warmly at her.

She took a long breath and Jamie rubbed her back, "You want some tea?"

"I'm good I just want to lay with you," Eddie assured

"Let me check on Mary and Bella, then I'll be right back to do just that."

Eddie nodded reluctant to let him go. "Hurry back okay?"

Jamie peaked into his father's room and found Bella in her porta crib and Mary curled up by his hip. Jamie smiled and went right back to Eddie. "All three are sound asleep."

"Good come here Jamie," Eddie opened her arms out settling against him.

Jamie put his arms around her, "You feel so good"

"It feels great to be in your arms again," Eddie smiled

He kissed her head, " You too. Oh, I missed you. I missed my best friend. I needed you so much and I know you needed me."

"Yes, I do it's so good to be back together," Eddie lifted her head to look at him

Jamie kissed her again and sighed. "It is...we need to get through the rest of this as a family, as a team. We have a chance now to build a new life and not as roommates, no parallel lives, not for us"

"No, we are teammates and best friends, so we will get through this," Eddie agreed

"What about lovers?" he asked.

"Of course, lovers always," Eddie agreed

They shared a few deeper kisses then Jamie held Eddie tight until she fell asleep.