Chapter Forty- Five

Jamie took a deep breath, "Eddie come here a second honey."

"Are you okay?" Eddie asked. "You look really pale, are the girls all right?"

Jamie reached his arms out pulling Eddie on his lap. "The girls are fine Eddie, Dad just called me."

"Is he okay?" she asked softly. "Jamie, this look is scaring me."

"Yeah he's fine...it's Linda, she was killed in a helicopter crash."

"Oh, my God! Oh, Jamie, I'm so sorry honey, I'm so sorry!"

"I knew Linda since I was a kid Eddie she was like a sister. Everyone is in shock."

"I'm so sorry," Eddie replied and immediately went to rock him in her arms. "When do we leave?"

Jamie looked up at her in surprise.

"This is your family, Jamie. You need to say goodbye, you're the boys' uncle, and Danny is your brother. I know you can't live with yourself if you don't go home and I don't want to put you in that place. If I can't see him, then I'll stay back with the girls and be there for you when you are done" Eddie kissed him softly.

"Thank you Eddie um let the girls sleep, I'll pack then we can go," Jamie said quietly.

"Jamie, it's late and we're both tired. It's only a three and half hour drive, let's go in the morning," Eddie whispered. "Let's rest tonight."

Jamie sighed quietly holding her tight, "Okay, first thing tomorrow."

"Yes, first thing tomorrow," Eddie replied. "What can I do for you tonight?"

"Hold me Eddie, just be here," Jamie spoke softly brushing his hand over hers

"You got it..." she whispered softly. "I'm not leaving, okay. I'm never going to ever leave again."

"Thank you Eddie," Jamie held her laying his head on her shoulder quietly.

His grip tightened around her, "We wasted a lot of time being hurt and angry, something like this really makes you regret that."

"It's over now we worked it out," Eddie nuzzled him laying against his chest

"I know," Jamie sighed. "But I'll never forgive myself for the time we lost, for all we lost."

Eddie picked her head up kissing him gently, "Let's make the most of now."

Jamie slid his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, they didn't have to speak.

It was slow and sweet something they both needed. Afterward, Eddie held Jamie in her arms kissing his forehead, nose, then lips. Reassuring him they would face this together.

It was a tough loss, even she felt the pain at the loss of a woman she cared for deeply enough to have her witness her wedding to Jamie, twice. "Those poor boys," Eddie sighed. "When my mother died, I was Sean's age, but Momma she..." Eddie had never discussed this with him before.

Jamie looked up at her encouraging her, "Tell me about her Eddie?"

"She was beautiful," she replied softly. "She was petite and gentle and she always smelled like lilac water. I love that scent to this day. She had a very bad heart as a result of having scarlet fever as a child, and I remember her being in a wheelchair several times from being so weak...by the time I was thirteen and went to boarding school she was bedridden and she died a year later."

"I'm sorry honey I bet she was beautiful and sweet just like you are," Jamie kissed her

"Oh, compared to me, I'm nowhere near as pretty as she was," Eddie replied. "I wish you would have known her, she would've loved you."

Jamie snuggled her tight. "Same with my mom, she would've just loved you. I guess we both know how hard it is."

"I'll focus on the boys, I'll help them and I'll hold my tongue on everything else," Eddie promised.

Jamie smiled, "Thank you Eddie." He lay his head on her shoulder.

Jamie and Eddie didn't sleep much that night, they lay awake counting one another's breaths.

Jamie got up very early and called the undersheriff to go over the disposition of cases and how Jamie wanted things run.

While he was on the phone Eddie snuck behind him wrapping her arms around his waist

"Don't you worry about a thing," Undersheriff Harris replied. "I'll hold it down, you take care of your family. Are you bringing your girls?"

"Thank you. Yes, we're all going…Eddie and the girls too. I really appreciate it."

"I'll call you a few times a day to keep you updated," Harris replied. "My condolences on your loss."

"Thank you," Jamie ended the call turning to hug Eddie. "Morning."

"Morning," she replied. "We need to go and talk to Mary before we go. I'm not sure how she's going to handle another loss so soon."

Jamie sighed, "Yeah I didn't think of that your right."

"Let's take her some juice and we'll sit down and talk to her. If she melts down, we have time to calm her before we leave," Eddie suggested.

Jamie nodded getting Mary's favorite juice going with Eddie

Mary was just waking up and was reaching to get her little walker so she could get out of bed. She would have to drag her legs until one of her parents put on her braces or cases as she called them. She smiled a huge smile when she saw her Mommy and Daddy.

"Morning Mommy morning Daddy," she greeted happily sitting on the edge of her bed

"Morning, Buttons," Jamie replied. She was so unsuspecting, so innocent, she'd had too much loss in her young life.

"We brought your favorite juice honey," Eddie added taking a seat next to her.

She smiled and took a huge sip, she loved the orange and pineapple blend. Jamie looked at Eddie, he couldn't do this, there was no doubt who was the stronger parent.

Eddie shook her head at him taking the glass when she finished. "Honey Daddy and I want to talk to you."

Mary's eyes opened wide, "I didn't do anything wrong, did I? Did I hurt the little piglet when I dropped him? Miss Faith said I didn't."

Jamie shook his head, "No honey, you didn't do anything wrong, the piggie is fine."

"Then why are you and Mommy sad?" Mary asked. She moved closer to her mother, feeling fear.

"Honey, Grandpa called Daddy, Aunt Linda she... went to visit Joey in Heaven."

Mary sat there for a moment, thinking hard on that one. "It's okay," she said after a minute. "Joey was probably bored with only Pop to play with."

Eddie looked at Jamie surprised. Jamie sat down on the bed, "Honey are you okay?"

Mary nodded, "Are we going back to New York?"

"Yes after breakfast we're going honey. We can help you pack."

"Put on my cases, I got to get something," Mary told her Mommy.

Eddie took the braces putting them on Mary's legs.

Mary went to her little trunk where she kept her treasures and came up with faceless Amish doll, "This goes to where Joey is, for him..."

Eddie teared up, "oh honey that is so sweet."

Mary smiled, "Just don't want him to think we forgot him just because we're all happy now."

"I'm sure he knows how much we miss him. Are you hungry buttons?"

Mary nodded, "Yes, please..." she replied and headed to the kitchen seemingly unaffected by this second family loss.

They were on the road by 10, Bella happy in her car seat cooing and laughing out loud. Jamie drove quietly keeping his eyes on the road solemnly. Eddie did her best to try to and keep the drive light for the kids. They had to stop often for Mary to stretch her legs. They finally made it into New York going straight to Frank's house.

Jamie got out of the car, and went inside first. Danny was gone with the boys to the funeral home so he called Eddie inside.

Frank sat in his chair, Erin and Niki on the couch but they all stood up when Eddie entered. Eddie nodded, "She got big so quickly."

Erin reached out to hold her niece, but she kicked and hid her face.

"That's your Aunt Erin honey, it's okay," Eddie spoke softly.

Erin and Nikki tickled the baby under the chin as Mary showed off to Frank. She was not absorbing the situation yet.

"How's Danny and the boys," Jamie asked his father.

"Holding up, they're in shock," Frank replied. Jamie nodded slowly in understanding.

"How are we going to handle the Eddie and Danny issue?" Frank asked.

Jamie shook his head, "I don't know. She said she'd let me know if she couldn't be around him."

"I'm glad you are here."

"Me too Dad," Jamie replied.

Eddie took the girls to the guest room to get them ready for bed as Danny arrived. She felt badly for him. Jamie approached giving both nephews a big hug first then his brother. "I'm so sorry Danny."

"I don't..." He said barely. "She's gone my heart my...she's gone kid"

"I know Danny come on in guys let's sit down;" Jamie stayed by his brother's side walking to the living room

"You by yourself?" Danny asked.

Jamie shook his head, "the girls are inside."

"Eddie too? She let you come?

"Yeah she wasn't going to keep me from the family. We're doing better now."

"Linda said you were, she was so happy, things were going well for us too, and now…"

Jamie gave a quiet and supportive nod. "I can't imagine, you're not alone though."

"You know how it feels to lose part of you and you got her back, Linda isn't coming back."

"No she isn't but shed want you to take care of your boys."

Danny nodded, "Can you have a drink with me? You and me?"

"Let me talk to Eddie," Jamie said softly.

They drank quietly, Jamie focused on Danny and their bond. All he could think about was his own wife

Danny kept pouring his drinks, quietly sitting and drinking

"I think you had enough for now," Jamie sighed. "Come on, let's go get some rest, hmm?"

"You don't tell me when I'm done I'm not done yet," Danny shook his head, eyes red. He held the decanter to the side, he just had to numb the pain.

"Danny, believe me," Jamie replied. "It won't help to get a hangover but..."

Danny chugged the rest of his drink in one swift gulp before setting it down. "She was my everything and now she's gone."

"And your boys are still here," Jamie reminded him. He didn't want Danny to lose those boys in the shuffle of grief.

"Yeah, I know that," Danny sighed looking at the floor, the tears threatening but he couldn't let them go.

"So, let's stop then, and go see the boys, give them hugs and go get some rest all right. Rest really does help."

Danny shook his head, "I can't not yet I just..." he shook his head

Jamie nodded, "One more...just one more okay?"

"Okay," Danny looked up, his eyes bloodshot. "Linda. She's gone I can't believe she's gone. It's all my fault."

Jamie found this pretty ironic he would own his wife's death that was not his fault but didn't own the death that was partially his fault.

Jamie didn't say anything...the hour got later in the silence, "When is the service?"

"We made it for Wednesday and Thursday afternoon and evening. Funeral and burial the next day," Danny choked up and let the tears start to spill thinking of saying goodbye to his beloved wife.

Jamie moved closer, and squeezed Danny's knee in support. He knew better than to console him, there was no consolation for his, his presence was the consolation.

"Okay and tomorrow is Wednesday so let's get some rest now…" Jamie knew he had to get him sleeping this off for him to function.

Danny picked up his drink quickly downing the contents before Jamie could take it away.

"Your boys need you, Danny. Don't let them drift," Jamie advised.

He stared at the younger man for a second shaking his head, "No, they…where are the boys?"

"Upstairs asleep," Jamie soothed. "Dad and Eddie sent them up a while ago. They're okay for now."

"Eddie, Dad good," Danny leaned against the wall.