Chapter Forty-Six

Eddie stepped down from the stairs and turned toward the den. She heard Jamie's soft voice as he soothed his brother. She didn't mean to overhear, she was passing the den as she came through the kitchen. She heard Danny sob, the pain he was in parallel to the pain she had felt. It was a profound loss, a loss of part of her heart.

She thought about the cup of coffee she had with Linda the day of the vow renewal. Danny carried joeys' death with him, the guilt and the loss…and now the person he could lean on and confide in was gone, that had to be…Eddie decided then to follow the advice of her new Amish friends and embrace Danny, open to him, and release her anger to God…If she could give Linda a last wish, perhaps that was it…

Eddie went to check on Frank, letting Jamie focus on his brother.

Frank sat still in his rocker worried about Danny and his grandsons as he also grieved

"The girls are out like lights," Eddie smiled and got Frank a drink

"Thanks," He spoke softly giving her a grateful smile

"Jamie and Danny are in the den having some time, I hope Jamie can say something that brings peace."

"I do too it isn't easy losing your wife,' Frank sighed

"I can't imagine how that is..." Eddie sighed. "Jamie and I nearly lost each other, but not to death."

"It's very hard and Linda was unexpected," frank looked at her

"I know..." Eddie replied thinking of their Joey. She poured herself a drink.

Frank waited until Eddie settled, "Mary had been sick a long time before she passed it was hard seeing her suffer."

"I can't think about losing Jamie... but if I did I'm not sure which would be harder."

"Hopefully you won't have to go through that." Frank shook his head

"I took a vow, and I will keep it...there for Jamie and whatever is important to him."

Frank nodded. "That's important to remember it isn't always easy."

Eddie nodded, "I am with you there."

Sighing frank sipped his drink lost in thought and worry.

Jamie finally got Danny out of the den and into the living room.

Jamie held onto him. Eddie stood up when she saw them and bit her lip. "Danny..." Linda's words filled her head

"Eddie thanks for coming and letting him come," Danny said

"Linda was my friend and I can't imagine your pain," Eddie replied. "I'm so very sorry for your loss and the boys' loss."

"Thank you," Danny whispered leaning on Jamie, voice hoarse.

"I'm going to help get Danny to bed," Jamie began. "Then I'll come to bed okay?" Eddie nodded, "Take your time."

Jamie helped his brother upstairs getting him into bed. "Get some rest."

Jamie shut the light and went to find Eddie. She was in the bed in his old room with her arms wide open.

He smiled, going right to her, lying down. "I missed you Eddie."

"I missed you too..." She whispered. "All I thought about all night was how I don't want to be apart from you

Jamie leaned in giving her a long kiss. "Me too, really appreciate you letting me go though."

"I didn't let you go, we decided together, I'm so glad you have been so considerate of my feelings through this."

"I don't want to lose you again," Jamie said holding her tight

She kissed him deeply, "You won't lose me. I'm here and I love you so"

He smiled snuggling her tight kissing her temple.

They let Danny sleep it off, Eddie and Erin stepped in to make breakfast for the boys, the girls, Frank and Jamie. While they were cooking, Eddie felt her face flush and she almost tottered to a chair to sit down.

"Eddie are you okay?" Erin quickly turned to help her a look of concern on her face.

"I don't know," she replied. "I got really dizzy suddenly and felt so hot. Is it hot in here?"

"It's comfortable, here sit down for a few minutes I'll get you water."

Eddie smiled and took the water that Erin offered. She looked a little pale, "Should I call for Jamie?"

Eddie shook her head slowly, "No, um I'm just going to sit for a few minutes."

Erin went back to cooking, and in a few minutes, Eddie got up to help. "I'll take the biscuits and eggs out, I'll let Jamie know he can bring Mary down."

"Thanks, I'll finish up down here if you're sure you're okay," Erin asked concerned

"Yeah, probably just tired..." Eddie gave a smile. She wasn't so sure.

Eddie went upstairs to get Jamie slowly, "Hey time to wake up honey."

He rolled over and gave her a big hug, "Do I smell bacon and eggs?"

"Maybe," Eddie smiled nuzzling him. "How'd you sleep?"

"Well with you here..." Jamie replied. "Let's go eat while it's hot. I'll bring the girls down. I hear Bella."

Eddie paused giving him another kiss before heading downstairs again. Erin was setting the food out when she was joined by Frank.

"Danny is not feeling like breakfast this morning," Frank replied. "I took care of him and he's resting again. Boys, sit down and eat, then if you want to see some friends before the service your father said it was okay."

Sean and jack silently slid into their seats staring at the plates in front of them.

Eddie walked up behind Jack and Sean and gently gave them big hugs and kisses. She, of all people knew there weren't words.

Jack didn't look up, taking a deep breath holding back sobs. Sean nodded his head at Eddie in thanks.

The meal was quiet and solemn except for Bella. Mary knew to be quiet because people were sad, but Bella babbled and laughed and kicked in all her six-month-old glory.

Frank kept an eye on the boys worrying mostly for them and his oldest. They finished together heading upstairs to get ready.

Bella was once again the joy of the room. She was happy and distracting to the adults. "Did you bring those black leggings with the little cherries?"

"Yes I did," Eddie answered with a small nod.

"I thought she could wear that since Linda got it for her and Mary has that dress?"

"I thought the same thing. I brought a black dress for Mary."

Jamie nodded, "You okay? You look pale."

"Yeah I'm okay," Eddie replied distracted.

"Good," Jamie smiled "I know what this is costing you. I do know..."

Eddie looked up at him "It is, but I understand, I'm not making you choose."

She moved closer to him and kissed him softly, "I love you and I am always going to be by your side." Eddie felt a strange flutter and took a deep breath. "We better get ready."

Jamie took her hand stopping her. "I love you Eddie, thank you."

"Go on and get ready...I might need you to help get Mary in a dress."

Jamie gave her another lasting kiss then stood up to start getting ready."

Danny was respectable by the time he got to the funeral home. It was packed with people, flowers and pictures. His eyes teared up seeing Linda smiling in so many pictures, holding onto their boys.

Jamie reached out and squeezed Danny's shoulder wanting to get his brother through this." Taking a deep sigh, Danny gave a quiet nod, walking in slowly.

The family paid their respects then stood to receive others. All the while Eddie fought shortness of breath and dizziness. Mary stayed close to her mom nervous at all the new faces

"What's the matter, Buttons?" Jamie asked. "Your legs hurt?"

"To many people daddy I don't know all these people."

"No," Jamie replied. "You don't...they are friends of Aunt Linda and Uncle Danny. You want Daddy to hold you?" She nodded reaching up shyly burying her head in his shirt

Eddie found a chair and sat down. She felt like her legs didn't want to hold her. "Eddie are you okay honey," Jamie looked at her.

"Yeah," Eddie replied. "I think I over ate a bit."

"Rest honey," Jamie held Mary, studying Eddie, concerned.

"I'm going to check on the boys"

"You need to rest after that okay Eddie" Jamie said softly

"I think it's almost my time of the month, too." Jamie raised an eyebrow at her nodding quietly

Eddie got up and stepped outside, "Columbia Presbyterian, cardiology unit."

The operator transferred her to the cardiology unit, "Yes ma'am."

"I would like an appointment please, as soon as possible. I live in Lancaster and I'm here for a family funeral."

"Sure when is the earliest time you can come in?

"Friday afternoon. I'm only asking because my mother died from cardiomyopathy." Eddie replied.

The nurse typed, "We have late morning and midafternoon."

"Midafternoon will work, thanks," Eddie replied "Now she just had to hide it from Jamie."

They went through the motions, it was very hard for everyone. Eddie stood by the casket with Jamie. They held onto each other.

"Bye Linda I promise to look after the boys for you," Jamie sighed

"I remember all you said," Eddie told her friend. "I am going to turn things around."

Jamie pulled Eddie closer kissing her gently. "Rest in peace Linda."

Neither Danny nor the boys spoke, Jack and Sean sitting lifeless on the couch