Chapter Forty Seven

They went upstairs early, Mary and Bella went to bed early too. Eddie looked at Jamie and Danny, "Jamie, can you wait for me? I want to talk to Danny."

Jamie looked at her studying the expression on Eddie's face.

"Linda asked me to consider starting to let go, now is as good a time as any" Eddie kissed Jamie's lips. "It's okay."

"Okay I love you Eddie." Jamie headed upstairs

Eddie stepped over to where Danny sat and took a deep breath. "I remember the last conversation I had with Linda."

He looked up at her quietly eyes bloodshot and teary, "yeah?"

"Yeah," Eddie replied. "I was so glad she was there with us, and I know you'd have liked to have been there too, but that...I...wasn't able to forgive you yet, for what happened...but she asked me this, she asked me to consider how you felt being a part of this and I want to ask you how you feel about that?"

Danny shook his head, "I couldn't sleep Eddie no matter how hard I tried I'd toss and turn."

Eddie nodded, "We all lost a lot of sleep over it, and it is a terrible thing that happened, he was only three years old, we'll never know what he could have been...we'll never know that, but I have thought about a lot and you are suffering too, you hurt too and my grudge wasn't bring my baby back. It wasn't doing anything but hurting people more and I want to stop that hurt, I want to stop it now."

"Thank you Eddie I'm so sorry for what happened I never meant," he choked up

"I know," Eddie replied. "I know. You just...sometimes you are very cavalier, and I know that's not the real Danny, that's not the Danny Linda loved, but when he shows up..."

Danny nodded, "now she's gone," he breathed in unevenly holding back a sob.

"I know," Eddie moved closer. "I know she is. She told me life was too short and believe me, I know it is as well as you, as well as anyone." Eddie took a breath and stepped closer wrapping Danny in her arms. "I forgive you, Danny. That was Linda's wish and it's mine too, I hope you'll forgive yourself because Linda was not your fault."

"Everything was my fault Eddie Joe now Linda maybe I should have taken the bullet that night."

Eddie took a deep breath, "No...No one should have died that day. No one should have been there, you were under a serious threat, you should have been safe, we all should have been safe..."

"I know that and it was my fault. Linda was my whole world and now..."

"She wasn't your whole world, she was a huge part of it, but you have your boys, your family...Jamie...and me too...I'm here too." She hoped this would help Danny heal.

"Thank you that really means a lot to me," Danny spoke softly.

"It's always going to hurt, it's going to hurt all of us, you and me...and Mary and Jamie, but we can put it behind us, if Joe and Linda taught us nothing else, let's say life is short..." Eddie felt a twinge in her back as a dizzy spell came on.

Danny sniffed hard nodding his head, "Yeah that's what they would want right?"

"That's what they would want...and it's what I want...I hope you do too." Eddie moved to stand up, she was so tired but the living room lurched.

"Eddie hey are you all right," Danny reached out to catch her setting her on the couch

"Yeah, just having a little trouble sleeping, I got dizzy," she replied. "I'm fine, just fine. We don't need to upset Jamie with this, okay? Let this be our truce secret?"

"Okay but Jamie would worry if something happened at least get checked."

"I'm sure when things settle down I'll feel better," Eddie smiled. "Get some rest Danny, you need it...we all need it."

"You too and thanks Eddie." Danny gave one more look before heading upstairs

Eddie felt like a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders after talking with Danny. She was ready to start moving on and being a part of the family again. The funeral was sad and crowded so many people wanting to say goodbye.

Jamie stood by his brother's side the whole time to be there for him and the boys.

Eddie stayed by Jamie, Mary didn't understand all of the procedures of a funeral.

She watched, her little eyes taking in everything she saw.

When it was time to go she looked up at Eddie, "Mommy, when can we give Joey the dolly?"

"Do you want to visit him and give the doll?" Eddie asked

Mary nodded, "Yes, I do. We said remember?"

"Yes we did okay let's go see Joe," Eddie nodded.

"No, we don't have his doll, we have to come back._

"Okay honey I'll talk to daddy and we'll come back."

Mary nodded and went along on her walker and braces staying close to Eddie

Gormley approached Danny, Jamie by his brother's side offering his condolences

They went back to the house to receive their guests. Eddie would soon sneak off for her appointment. Then she would speak to Jamie about Mary's request

Eddie waited until the right time to slip out. With her car keys in hand she headed for her appointment, nervous at what she might find.

She vowed to tell Jamie everything as soon as she knew.

Eddie sat tapping her leg in the waiting room, until finally she was called in.

"Eddie...come on back, Dr. Peters will see you now."

Eddie took a nervous breath following the nurse in.

She filled out all the forms then waited. "So Eddie, what makes you think you could have a heart problem? What are your symptoms?"

"I've been feeling really lightheaded and weak all of a sudden. My mom had heart issues..."

"Well that is hereditary at least sometimes so we should certainly look into that. Some basic questions...any chance you could be pregnant?" Eddie thought, "A small chance, Jamie usually takes precautions but there was one time when we didn't."

"Okay well let's see so we can rule out some possibilities."

Eddie smiled and the doctor handed her a specimen cup, "Let's check the urine sample, then I can see that it's safe for me to go further with the tests."

Eddie nodded going into the bathroom coming out with a full cup

"This won't take long so why don't you rest a few minutes then we will have the results."

"Thank you," Eddie laid down on the bed waiting until the doctor came back.

It was only a few moments before the doctor returned. "Well, it appears that congratulations are in order. You are definitely pregnant."

Eddie sat up in shock. "Pregnant, but it was only once…we only did that once."

Dr. Peters smiled, "Once is all it took. There is no doubt about it. I have my sonogram machine here for cardiac tests, let's take a look at your heart to be on the safe side, then we'll sneak a peek at the little one. I'll give you a referral to a doctor in Lancaster to oversee the pregnancy."

Eddie smiled brightly, "Yes, oh I'm so happy! This is such a blessing." Eddie had tears of happiness running down her cheeks.

The doctor first scanned Eddie's heart, "This looks good, it's perfect size, good motion, good rhythm, I don't think there is anything to worry about here but I will run some blood tests ahead of you going home. Let's take a quickly look at the baby…"

The gel was cold, Eddie couldn't stop smiling as the doctor moved the transducer over her belly. "Oh goodness," he smiled. "Look here…this is your baby, about eight weeks old with a steady heartbeat. And this is also your baby with the same steady heartbeat. It's twins."

Eddie was speechless, she took the pictures the doctor offered and headed back to the house in a fog. It was only the once, they had been careful otherwise, it was just the one time in Bella's room…just the once.

Eddie was excited and exhausted when she got back to the house. The repast was winding down, so she had to hold her tongue a little longer. Jamie was playing with Bella, he would come look for her soon, but thankfully, not yet. She wasn't quite ready to tell him yet, but she would.

Jamie went up to put Bella down for a nap, Mary was happy with Frank and Erin so he could see if Eddie snuck off to the bedroom. He hadn't seen her in a while but the house was loaded with people.

After giving Bella a kiss Jamie smiled, "Love you," he whispered.

She cooed in her sleep then Jamie went to check on Eddie.

Eddie was sitting on the bed staring at the ultrasound photo. She still could not believe that one time they were careless results in her pregnancy, but she couldn't contain her excitement much longer. If it wasn't for the funeral meal finishing up downstairs she would have leapt into his arm with sheer glee.

Jamie poked his head into the room they were sharing and smiled at her, "There you are, I was wondering where you got off to. Erin said she thought she saw you leave…"

Eddie took a deep breath. "I did leave. I had an appointment at Columbia this afternoon. I haven't been feeling well actually. I've been getting dizzy, short of breath, very tired and after my mother...so I made an appointment."

"Why didn't you tell me Eddie? I would have gone with you. What did the doctor say are you all right?" Jamie felt the panic rising in his throat, he couldn't lose her too. Not after all this, and she was so calm about it.

"He said I will be all right, and he gave me these to help with my energy level," Eddie reached into her purse and handed him a bottle of prenatal vitamins.

"Eddie what did the doctor say was wrong with you," Jamie asked moving closer and studying the pill bottle in her hand. It sunk in then as he looked at the bottle of pills in her hand, "Prenatal...these are the vitamins you took with Mary, Joe, and Bella...are you...are you?" Eddie took the ultrasound picture out of her bag.

Jamie held the picture, as he looked at Eddie sputtering, "But…I was using…until you got back on and it was the one time when we didn't…I couldn't be happier, Eddie, this is such a gift from God."

The tears ran down her cheeks as they hugged for a long time, thinking of the new life they had created, or lives as the case was. They sat down, arms around each other as Jamie looked at the picture, "These things are always so confusing...Where is the baby again?" Eddie smiled, "The baby is here," Eddie pointed to one of the little colored blobs. "And here...there are two."

"Two? Twins," Jamie whispered looking at the picture again shocked but smiling.

"Yes, it's going to be twins!" Eddie smiled. "It was only the one time that we but...it was just the once..."

He leaned in close placing a gentle kiss to her lips. "I love you Eddie I love you so much."

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest and breathed deeply. She wasn't sure how they would handle two new babies with Bella so young...but this was a gift from God they would accept whole heartedly.

Jamie hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head smiling happily.

They kept the news to themselves until later that night when everyone but Frank was gone home or to bed. It was way too early to tell Mary and the other family but Frank was special.

Eddie and Jamie sat on the couch, Jamie with his arm around her. "Dad Eddie and I wanted to talk to you."

Frank smiled, "is everything okay?"

"Yeah everything is better actually. We wanted you to be the first we told," Eddie said.

"Oh..." Frank sat up as they smiled at each other.

"You're going to be a grandfather again," Jamie told him.

"And it's twins!" Eddie gushed. "You see here is one and there is the other.

Frank's eyes watered looking between the two dots, "oh my goodness that is fantastic news."

His eyes watered finally tears of happiness.

Jamie had to battle his own emotions, he could feel their little boy with them, he could feel Joe and Vinny...then he got an idea...

Jamie laid beside Eddie that night still studying the picture. He was thinking about their son and how they could keep his memory alive. His hand stroked her still flat belly absently, the same way that he would do when she grew heavy and round for the fourth time, preparing to bring forth two new children.

Eddie noticed his silence, he was happy about the twins, that was evident in his smile and his tears when they told Frank their news, but now he had gone quiet. She knew he was thinking of their Joey.

"Are you okay Jamie?" Eddie asked looking up at him from her spot on his chest.

"I was thinking..." He replied. "If the babies are boys or if one is a boy, I'd like them or him to have the middle name Joseph. And if it's just one boy perhaps Vincent Joseph?"

Eddie smiled, "I really like that name, it's a good way to remember Vinny and Joey and Joe as well. I love that choice. What if we have two boys?"

"I was thinking Anthony...for Renzulli, he knew we should be together before we did..." Jamie kissed her head. "And he really helped me during the separation, he really helped my perspective."

Eddie thought a moment, "Vincent Joseph and Anthony Joseph, I love that. We're half way there, remember how long it took us to decide on Bella?"

Jamie laughed remembering how difficult that indeed was. Mary and Joey's names came easy, but Bella…that was a chore. "So what if they are girls or one girl?" Eddie asked.

Jamie chewed his lip to think about that, "What do you think?"

"I still want to remember Joey... Something that goes with Josephine maybe?"

"How about Josephine Mary for one of the girls and Lena Josephine for your mother for another girl?"

Eddie smiled and nodded, "Perfect, we are so good at this."

Smiling Jamie kissed her head, "I love you Eddie."

She turned in his arms and inhaled his scent..."I can't wait to meet them, I can't wait."