Chapter 15
Onni hadn't woken up in the past few days, which meant both Reynir and Hildur had had to continue omitting the fact that Tuuri had been bitten by the bat beast when they went to visit him. On top of this, Lalli had turned out to be unable to help in terms of finding the Old World lady that could help them with the ghosts. The trip starting again had given Reynir time to think, and realize that they wouldn't have been in such a situation if he hadn't foolishly wanted this Silent World expedition to happen. Maybe his father would have found another way to get him killed, but at least he wouldn't have had to live with knowing his father's true feelings towards him. His tutors, along with their friends and family, wouldn't have been dragged into it. So, when Tuuri decided they should have a chat through the door separating their halves of the tank one evening, all Reynir was able to do was apologize for wanting the expedition to happen, and putting her in situation where she had to wait two weeks to know whether she was going to live or die. Her answer surprised him:
-Don't apologize about this. It's been my dream to go on an adventure like this ever since I can remember. This is the one opportunity I've been given! Without it, I would have gone out on my own eventually, I'm sure of it. Which probably wouldn't have ended up well either.
She went on to tell him how she had wanted this ever since she was kid, and how jealous she had been when Lalli had been able to leave their home settlement freely while she couldn't. It reminded him of a similar feeling he'd had as a child. The difference between them had been that his family could afford to get him prepared for the expedition, fund it, and hire other people to protect him. Now that he knew that both the Silent World and the Known World had dangers to which he had been completely oblivious, he wished this could have stayed a dream. Maybe if his family hadn't been that rich, they would have had every excuse to keep him home, and his father wouldn't have been embarrassed enough by his existence to want him dead. Someone else would have eventually funded an expedition that actually had the purpose of finding out more about the Silent World. At least, now that they knew what was out there, they could tell everyone back in the safe areas to not bother with a second expedition.
Reynir's mother had once told him to be careful what to wish for, because he could actually get it someday. There had been plenty of times where he had gotten so tired of a specific kind of radio contact that he wished the radio would actually break. It had finally happened, but only because the tank's engine had been damaged beyond repair. They were going to have to walk to the pick-up spot and rely entirely on mage-to-mage communication. Mikkel and Tuuri were to spend the day packing, Lalli and Emil had been sent to collect supplies, Sigrun was resting. Tonight was going to be their last night in the tank.
Mere seconds after finishing to paint the ghost-repelling rune on the Old World tent that Lalli and Emil had brought back and putting it somewhere out of the way to dry, Reynir was overwhelmed with a strange feeling that suddenly made him unwilling to move a muscle. Just as he was trying to identify it, he heard Finnish yelling outside. Soon after, he heard Mikkel tell him to put his mask on. He then called for Tuuri, for a little longer than he should have needed to. Reynir knew something was really wrong when Mikkel actually came to check his section of the tank to make sure Tuuri wasn't in there. Once his search was over, Mikkel finally noticed that Reynir had been sitting in the entrance listless all this time, quickly made sure it wasn't something more urgent than getting hold of Tuuri, and continued his search, telling him to keep the door closed. After an eternity that couldn't have been more than a few minutes, Sigrun came back alone, and told Mikkel something. Reynir opened the door to listen into the conversation just in time to clearly hear the words "autopsy report". Sigrun, who was the one facing the tank, was the first to notice that Reynir was listening, as his own mind was struggling to find words to say. Mikkel picked up a few supplies, then left as Sigrun stayed to keep an eye on Reynir. He finally managed to get words out:
-What happened?
-It looks like Tuuri drowned herself. It was too late to do anything.
-Why?
-Given the circumstances, I'd guess that she started showing symptoms and this was her reaction to it. But we won't know for sure until Mikkel examines her.
Mikkel had come back with news that proved Sigrun's guess correct. As they preferred having Reynir inside while the body was burned, the best they had been able to do was quickly sanitize the driver's cabin so he could watch from a room with windows. But the burial had ended up happening too far away for him to see anything clearly through the tears in his eyes, and he ended up wasting Mikkel's efforts even more when he ended up spending most of it with his face buried in his arms, sitting in the seat that had been almost entirely Tuuri's for the entire trip. Sigrun eventually pulled him out of it both figuratively and literally, and gave him a backpack to carry. He noticed Emil and Lalli weren't coming, and Sigrun explained that Lalli had things to do before leaving and that he and Emil would catch up to him later. Reynir had no idea how he would be able to face Lalli when he would come back. He probably wasn't the only one to consider himself entirely responsible for Tuuri's death.