Content: In which there might be some flirting and Castiel having an epiphany of sorts thanks to Balthazar.
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Author's Note: *throws confetti into the air*
Since I've got an unexpected free day tomorrow you're getting a new chapter tonight as well! We all should celebrate our freedom, don't you think? ;)
And this chapter has been much fun to write (if I remember correctly it basically wrote itself), so I hope you'll enjoy it ^^ We're getting closer to the good stuff, guys!
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"Jo, we need to talk about something."
Jo looks up from her phone and shoots Dean a wary look. "Uh-uh, that sounds serious."
Dean takes a deep breath and steps outside on the balcony, after throwing a last glance over his shoulder to make sure that Emma's indeed fast asleep in their enormous bed. It's rather late (the guys already set out for the bachelor party a while ago), but you can't never be too sure with that sneaky little devil of his.
However, she's totally clonked out for good. Not exactly surprising, Dean has to admit, since her afternoon had been rather adventurous. It's not every day you're riding a horse after all.
Well, granted, she didn't go very far, she technically didn't even move from her spot, so you can't really call it 'riding' to begin with, but she found herself on a horse's back, held some reins and looked simultaneously happy and mortified.
Castiel picked one of the smaller horses for her, a gray mare named Curry (Gabriel obviously has a fondness for naming his animals after spices), who was as chill as someone can be. Even Dean probably wouldn't have had much of a problem taking her for a quick spin.
Emma, however, despite being absolutely fascinated still acted very tentative around the horse. It took so much persuasion to get her to even touch Curry that Dean almost broke the whole thing off before it even started. But eventually, after Castiel promised Emma over and over again that she had nothing to be afraid of, she agreed to climb in the saddle, at least for a bit.
The whole time she didn't let go of Castiel's hand, gripping him so tightly it actually seemed like it might hurt, but Castiel was nothing but patient and understanding. He told her how good she looked high up on horseback, how perfect her posture was, that she seemed to be a natural. And he added lots of cute and funny stories about Curry which made Emma laugh so hard she nearly fell off the saddle again.
And Dean merely watched them together once again, every single muscle in his body screaming to grab the guy, kiss him senseless and never let him go. Several times he found himself on the verge of spilling the beans about him and Jo, just to clear the air and finally have nothing stand in their way, but he managed to suppress the urge by reminding himself that he neither wanted to discuss this topic with Emma present nor should he make this important step without talking about it with Jo first.
No, he has to do this right.
Even if it meant torturing yourself by watching your daughter and the man of your dreams interact in the most adorable way possible, transforming you into an useless pile of goo.
So naturally, after hours of pure agony, Dean instantly hurried to get Emma to sleep and finally have his talk with Jo.
"Is this because of the bachelor party?" Jo wonders, studying him as though trying to read his mind. "I told you you could go. Gabriel wouldn't have minded. He actually asked about you several times. And I would've totally babysat."
Dean grimaces. The thought of spending the night with Gabriel and people just like him might be the most unappealing offer he ever got, including that one time when he was six years old and the boy from next door urged him to eat a bug. The only thing that actually made him consider for at least a minute was the fact that Castiel would be there too.
But still …
"I can't just go off and leave my daughter like that," Dean says. "I mean, she loves you and she seems to settle in just fine here, but that doesn't change the fact that this is an unfamiliar place for her. You were barely able to calm her down when she had an upset stomach. What do you think will happen when she's got a nightmare or something frightens her or she hurts herself somehow? It would take me at least an hour to come back here again. Not worth the risk."
Although he seriously would have been okay with being Castiel's support. The poor guy looked all kinds of stressed before they took off, like he was driving straight toward misery.
"Okay, I get it," Jo sighs. "I'm a lousy babysitter."
Dean rolls his eyes. "No, you're not. You're actually sorta amazing with her. And if we'd be at home, I had no problem leaving her with you for some time. But like I said, she doesn't know the place. I don't want her to end up scared because of a nightmare while being in an unfamiliar environment. Believe me, it's better that way."
"Yeah, yeah," Jo says, her lips curling upwards. "You just don't wanna me calling you in a frantic, whining like a baby."
Dean chuckles. "Yep, something like that."
"So what is it then?" Jo asks. For a moment she seems to consider glancing back at her phone, but she appears to notice that the conversation about to come needs her full attention and she puts it back into her pocket instead.
Dean takes a heavy breath. "I wanna tell Cas the truth. About us … and our 'relationship'."
Jo doesn't even twitch a muscle at these news.
She doesn't even blink her eyes.
She only stares at Dean and stays quiet for a long while.
And eventually she groans. Quite loudly. "I knew it."
Apparently she already expected something like this to happen and though she doesn't appear highly pleased about it, at least she doesn't leap to her feet and punches him in the face.
That's actually more than he anticipated.
"You're so fucking predictable, Winchester," she says, sounding like he's the most obnoxious human being in existence. "Remember our first night here? You couldn't shut up about this guy, you were practically swooning –"
Heat creeps up Dean's neck and he hastily activates all of his inner strength to not let it become too obvious.
"– and I just knew that boy would be trouble," Jo keeps ranting. "Why do have you to be so good and pure, huh? Such a damned saint?"
Dean scoffs at her choice of words. "I'm far from pure or sainthood –"
"To a certain degree, you are!" Jo cuts in, glaring. "I mean, it took me some real convincing to make you lie to a bunch of strangers you'd never see again anyway and in the end you only agreed 'cause of your strong sense of friendship. You're hurting fucking nobody with our little love story – apart from Ethan, the douche –, but still you act like I asked you to sacrifice your firstborn."
Dean narrows his eyes. "So I don't like lying. Sue me."
Back in the days he actually didn't have much of a problem with it. He bent the truth all the freaking time – telling his teachers that everything was perfectly fine with their home situation, lying to Sam that they had enough money to buy his stupid science book and that Dean wouldn't have to cut off food for that – and he got used to it. Hell, he even became a frigging expert.
But then, one by one, the lies started to bite him in the ass, making his life more miserable. And eventually, when Emma came along, he decided that he couldn't raise her that way.
The truth is important. Sure, some white lies are still granted, especially to spare someone's feelings, but overall Dean learned to appreciate honesty.
"But why do you have to tell Castiel now?" Jo asks. "Why can't you wait til after the wedding, with Ethan far gone and not in the proximity of accidentally overhearing your confession? Cas seems like a good guy, he'll certainly understand our reasons for doing this. I can't imagine him becoming mad and breaking things off with you for good."
No, Dean can't really picture it either. But still … it's killing him that Castiel thinks him happily in love with Jo, probably on the verge of marriage and maybe some more kids sometime in the future.
"Just … I don't wanna lie to him, okay?" Dean says with emphasis. "Every time you come up in our conversations – I dunno, I'm not very good at this! I can lie right into Ethan's stupid face, no problems there, but Cas –?"
He avoided talking about Jo with Castiel altogether the past few days, sometimes changing the topic so abruptly and inelegantly that probably even Castiel noticed something was amiss.
"Okay, fine!" Jo sighs deeply. "It's not like I've got any authority over you or whatever. If you wanna tell him so badly, I can't stop you. It's not my place."
Dean finds himself stepping next to Jo and kneeling down to be on the same eye level as her. "This whole thing, it's your call. I agreed to this and I won't betray your trust by doing whatever the hell I want. If me telling Cas is freaking you out, I'm not gonna do it."
Jo's expression softens. "But?"
Dean chews his lips and ducks his head, keen to hide all the emotions that are probably quite apparent on his features. "But Cas is my friend. I really hate lying to him."
Jo pulls a face. "Ugh, you're gross, Winchester!" she complains. "How the fuck am I supposed to say no to that?"
Dean grins lopsidedly. "I'm afraid it's impossible, Harvelle."
He presses a soft kiss onto her temple and feels how her whole body begins to deflate. "Okay, whatever," she concedes, sighing. "Do what you have to do. But please be careful around Ethan! I can't even imagine the face he'd make if he'd learn the truth."
Yeah, Dean seriously doesn't wanna picture that either. "Don't worry," he promises. "I'll tell Cas when we're all alone, no douchebag nearby."
Jo narrows her eyes. "And you're sure he won't tell Ethan?"
"You really have to ask that question?" Dean laughs outright. "You were there when Cas burned that asshole real good, remember? And though I admit that Cas is a crappy liar, I'm doubting very much that Ethan's keen on hanging out with Cas or even standing in his near vicinity. I can't see them interacting with each other at all."
Jo nods in agreement, certainly looking more relaxed now. "Yeah, true. Ethan is too much of a loud-mouth and a coward, he avoids confrontations like that."
Dean smiles easily as he ruffles her hair, making her scowl at him. "Everything will be okay, you'll see."
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The bachelor party is as awful as Castiel imagined it to be.
Without further ado they went straight to a strip club the next town over, no pit stop in-between. Castiel's hope that they would perhaps visit some bar on their way first to consume copious amounts of alcohol and hopefully get distracted by something or someone else, making his companions forget or at least recall very late in the night that they wanted to ogle semi-naked people, is crushed right away and he reluctantly has to accept his fate as he follows the large group of gleeful and obnoxiously loud men into the club.
The establishment is one of the finer sorts, at least. Gabriel always liked it classy and he's more than willing to pay good money for that. As soon as they walk in he immediately orders a round of shots for his guests and revels in their enthusiastic cheers, grinning so brightly that Castiel can't even be mad at him.
"I'm gonna get married tomorrow!" Gabriel announces loudly to the whole club, raising his glass. "And I wanna party tonight!"
Of course the employees smell the wealth coming from Gabriel right away and soon enough they're surrounded by so many dancers and waiters Castiel has a hard time taking a gulp of his drink without having a stranger's naked body part shoved into his face somehow.
Naturally, Gabriel's men are more than thrilled by the attention, especially Balthazar who's already sliding one dollar bills into women's thongs without them doing anything beside smiling at him. He'll be broke by the end of the night and it seems he couldn't be happier about that.
Also the other guys seize their chances, waggling some money at the female and male entertainers and downing their drinks so fast Castiel's barely able to keep up. Even Ethan who Castiel always figured kind of uptight (Gabriel only agreed to let him tag along because he didn't want to upset his mother by ignoring him) starts to loosen up and pulls out his wallet, obviously more than ready to have a good time.
Castiel keeps on the sidelines for a while, merely clasping his glass and trying to become invisible, and after some time of making sure that Gabriel is busy enough not to comment on his brother's lack of rapture, he retreats to a small lounge a little far off, hoping that no one would notice his absence.
For a few moments he simply watches the people around him, the dancers and waiters and patrons, wondering what their stories might be. He always liked to observe while standing in the background, studying all this human behavior that sometimes seems so odd and confusing to him, and he figures a bachelor party is as good as place at any to collect some new data about social mannerisms.
That is until he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He raises his eyebrows in surprise when he realizes it's a message from Dean.
Dean [9:09 PM]: and, did you get molested by any evil strippers yet?
Castiel feels suddenly all of his tense muscles loosening up just reading Dean's name on the screen. He can't remember ever being more grateful for a simple text message.
Castiel [9:10 PM]: So far I was able to avoid such a fate. I'm just sitting here hoping my luck won't run out.
Dean [9:10 PM]: my fingers are crossed!
Castiel [9:11 PM]: Thank you :)
Castiel [9:11 PM]: I'm just hoping that no one will notice me. With the way Gabriel is seizing all the attention I figure it won't be too hard.
Dean [9:12 PM]: I dunno Cas, you're always standing out SPECTACULARLY. I can't imagine anyone not noticing you.
Castiel feels hotter all of a sudden and he knows he can't blame this on the temperatures in the club. Once again he finds himself wondering what Dean's actions might mean. Maybe it's just an innocent comment, a playful exchange between friends, however, Castiel can't help pointing out that he never talked with one of his other friends like that.
Dean [9:14 PM]: besides don't worry. if it comes down to it, I'll protect you from any molesting! I'll keep you safe!
Castiel smiles. Though it's most likely only meant as a joke, his heart starts to warm reading those words.
Castiel [9:14 PM]: That's very noble of you. So can I expect you to show up on horse back if I would send out a distress signal?
Dean [9:14 PM]: I'll even bring my shining armor!
Castiel [9:15 PM]: My hero :)
Dean [9:15 PM]: and I'll have to bring Emma too 'cause I've got no friggin' idea how to even ride a horse!
Castiel laughs aloud. A comfortable warmth runs through his body merely imaging both father and daughter rushing to his rescue.
Castiel [9:16 PM]: How about next time I'll give *you* some riding lessons? For emergency cases, of course! A knight should know about this stuff after all ;)
Dean [9:18 PM]: you're the expert here, Cas! I'm entirely in your hands ;P
"Who are you sexting?"
Castiel startles so hard he almost drops the device in his hands to the ground, but thankfully he's capable of fighting back a yelp of surprise at least. He throws a hard glare over his shoulder, noticing Balthazar standing right behind him, grinning wildly.
"Did no one ever teach you it's impolite to sneak up on people?" Castiel hisses while putting his phone back in his pocket and getting it out of Balthazar's line of sight.
"I'm sure someone taught me at some point." Balthazar shrugs casually as he drops onto the couch next to Castiel. "But I obviously forgot."
"Obviously," Castiel mutters, feeling once again heat creeping up his cheeks as he sees himself confronted with his cousin's leering look. It's more than clear that he saw something that got him highly interested. "Don't you want to keep watching naked people?"
He nods towards a group of dancers with meager clothing on the stage nearest to them, rubbing their bodies at each other and attempting to appear as lewd as possible.
Balthazar, though, doesn't even spare them a glance. "I'm more curious about my dear cousin and who he's sexting while being in a strip club!"
Castiel lowers his head, for once fairly grateful for the poor light in this questionable establishment. "I wasn't sexting!"
Balthazar snorts. "Honey, I didn't see your whole text conversation, but I read something about 'riding lessons' and 'being entirely in your hands'. That sounds like glorious sexting material to me."
Castiel chews his bottom lip. "We were just talking. Joking."
"Flirting," Balthazar corrects, his smirk even getting brighter.
"No, we were not –"
"Oh please," Balthazar cuts in, scoffing so loud that even the guys on the table next to them seem to hear him over the loud music. "Don't lie to me, Cassie. We're family."
Castiel wants to shrink into himself. "I don't … we're just friends. Dean and I."
And then he instantly bites his tongue because he seriously didn't mean to mention any names. Or basically anything else. Especially not in Balthazar's presence.
As expected, his cousin's face lights up. "Dean? Well, well, what a lovely name." Balthazar's smirk deepens even more. "Strong and not a fuckload of syllables to get in the way. Perfect for screaming and moaning it in the throes of –"
"Balthazar!" Castiel chides, feeling his cheeks burning up now. He tries desperately not to picture that specific image inside his head, but surprisingly enough it turns out way harder than he anticipated. "It's nothing like that."
"No?" Balthazar snorts. "So there was no flirting going on here?"
Castiel shakes his head fiercely. "No!"
"But did you want there to be some flirting?"
Castiel knows he's supposed to negate this question. Dean is in a committed relationship with someone else and Castiel shouldn't want him to do anything that would go against that. It's regular common sense, not to mention an important moral ground, and Castiel's quite aware that he ought to feel that way.
Nonetheless, his first instinct is to say yes.
To say yes, I kind of want Dean and me to flirt.
And Castiel has no idea where this is coming from. His stomach clenches uncomfortably as he begins to squirm in his seat.
"We're … we're just friends," Castiel repeats, his voice lower and not quite as steady as he hoped.
Of course he could mention that Dean has a girlfriend, so talks about flirting and wooing or whatever kids call it these days are futile anyway, but he honestly doesn't want Balthazar to believe this is the only reason Castiel is averse to this. Balthazar doesn't need more ammunition than he already has.
"You know why I came over here?" Balthazar asks, studying Castiel with an intensity he isn't really used to. "Your face."
Castiel blinks a few times. "My face?"
Balthazar nods. "The expression on your damned face when you were reading those text messages. I've never seen it coming from you before. Hell, I actually thought I never would."
Castiel isn't exactly sure where his cousin is going with this and settles for a confused frown. "What do you mean?"
"Cas, love," Balthazar sighs, squeezing Castiel's shoulder a bit tighter than strictly necessary, as though afraid that Castiel would flee instantly if he wouldn't hold on hard enough. "You seemed like nothing else mattered than talking with your friend Dean. Damn, a half naked beauty sat next to you and tried to chat you up just one fucking minute ago and you didn't even notice her as your gaze was fixed on the phone in your hands!"
Castiel raises his brows. He indeed didn't realize that anyone was talking to him while he was busy with messaging Dean.
"And that look on your face," Balthazar pulls him closer as if he's about to share a big secret, "you were smitten, Castiel. You looked like a lovesick puppy."
Castiel feels himself freeze up as he stares right at his cousin's wide grin.
"I was not –"
"Don't try to deny it," Balthazar cuts right in. "You were sexting or flirting or maybe just even 'talking' with Dean here and your face was doing this thing like you can't imagine anything better than texting with this guy for all eternity." He scoffs. "A bit sad actually 'cause there are a million things more entertaining than simple texting, but hey, you're Castiel, am I right? I've never expected to see that expression anyway, so it's most definitely progress."
Castiel wants to contradict, to argue, to make a freaking point – but no words are coming out of his mouth. Instead his jaw goes slack and he simply gapes at the man next to him, probably appearing like an utter idiot.
But what is there to say?
He's not even sure that Balthazar is exaggerating. Castiel recalls how his heart swelled when he realized that Dean was considerate enough to care about his well-being and send a message, knowing fairly well that Castiel wouldn't have an easy time at the bachelor party. And he kept texting him, making Castiel smile more than once in the process.
Just a few simple words and Castiel already felt better and lighter that he ever thought possible in such a place. Damn, for a while he even forgot his surroundings altogether, solely enjoying Dean's words.
So maybe, perhaps, theoretically, he might have looked a bit smitten from Balthazar's point of view.
Maybe.
And he doesn't dare to even think about that to closely since this leads into dangerous territory.
"We're just friends," Castiel repeats, feeling like a broken record. "But I have to confess, I feel connected to him in a way I haven't really felt before. And that's what you probably saw in my expression."
It's indeed more than extraordinary. Castiel usually takes some time opening up to people, but with Dean it's so freaking effortless he's actually a bit frightened by that. At least he can't remember the last time he was able to talk to someone for hours without any awkward and long silences in between.
"Okay, fine," Balthazar concedes. "But if your special bond is so fucking profound, how come I've never heard of that Dean fella? I thought we told each other everything."
Castiel rolls his eyes. "I share about 10% of my life with you."
"Still –"
Castiel heaves a deep sigh. "I actually don't know him that long. I mean, yes, we were in high school together and for a while I hoped that we could be … well, in the end we didn't really interact that much with each other and more or less right after graduation we lost track of one another –"
"Wait, wait!" Balthazar interrupts, perking up at Castiel's words. "You were in high school together?"
Castiel feels doom coming his way at the sound of glee in his cousin's voice. "Um … yes?"
Balthazar's smile grows impossibly wide. "Don't tell me Dean is that hot mechanic that saved your garbage car?"
Castiel blushes profusely as he suddenly recalls how he told Balthazar about their encounter in the parking lot back in the days. Apparently it left some lingering impression on his cousin for whatever reason.
"How do you even remember that?" Castiel can't help complaining. "I've mentioned Dean once, maybe twice …"
Balthazar laughs so hard he almost drops off the bench. "Once or twice? Cassie, honey, you talked about him for weeks!"
Castiel crinkles his forehead in confusion. No, that can't be right. "I didn't –"
"Oh, you did!" Balthazar cuts in, way too cheerfully. "You talked about his mechanic skills and his kindness and his intelligence he tended to hide during classes. And you wrote freaking poems about his eyes and his freckles."
Castiel scowls at that. "I most definitely did not –"
"You easily could have," Balthazar interjects once again. "I recall thinking back then that my sweet little cousin finally got himself a sweet little crush. It was rather cute, to be honest."
Castiel hesitates, unsure what to say. He indeed remembers mentioning Dean to Balthazar a few times, but has it really been that excessive?
"Don't worry," Balthazar says. "When people start to gush and moon, mostly they don't even notice how much they're talking about that other person. You think you're speaking for ten minutes tops and actually days have passed. It's completely normal with your head in the clouds."
Castiel's flush deepens. "My head was never in any clouds!"
"Alright, I admit that's true," Balthazar confesses. "But for your very specific standard the whole thing was kinda out of the ordinary. I mean, you probably didn't even realize what was going on – which you basically just confirmed –, but it still happened."
He nudges Castiel's shoulder gently. "Nevertheless, I'm happy you found that guy again and you're so tight now that you rather flirt with him that watch some exotic dancers."
Castiel scoffs. "I'd rather do my taxes than watch exotic dancers."
Balthazar laughs loudly. "You're such a weirdo," he states. "But honestly, keep sexting your special friend. You deserve some good things too, love."
He winks one last time before moving toward their friends again, just in time for another round of shots.
Castiel watches him for a moment, mulling their conversation over and over in his head, wondering what to make of this. He remembers being kind of fascinated by Dean back in high school and watching him from afar even before the day in the parking lot, but he never really analyzed how deep that interest might have gone. It's only ever been there and Castiel never tried to question it.
So what did it mean back then?
And, more importantly, what does it mean now?
Castiel is so lost in his thoughts, attempting to scrutinize every single interaction he ever had with Dean, that it takes him a while to notice Ethan standing close by, just looking at him.
Closely.
Pensively.
And Castiel has no idea if he heard anything of his conversation with Balthazar (the loud music in the room makes it hard to even listen to your neighbor), but Castiel doesn't like the expression on that guy's face at all.
He's on the verge of jumping to his feet and walking over to Ethan, either to test the waters or to bluntly confront him whether he listened in or not, but then another message from Dean arrives, the light and happy tone of the man even audible via text somehow, and Castiel all of sudden forgets anything else once again.