There were so many different thoughts that ran through my head. I stared at the door that Pepper had just walked out of, the door out of not just our house, but my life. It felt like my whole chest was caving in on itself. None of the thoughts that ran through my head were positive, and I couldn't concentrate long enough to make a decision.
So I started with a bottle of whiskey- or what was left of the bottle. I felt it dim some of the thoughts, it slowed down my racing mind to a manageable point. The thought of mixing a variety of the pills we- I - kept in the medicine cabinet with my drink(s) crossed my mind. What else was there left for me? She was everything that kept me together. She was my world. I got into the good whiskey- the thousands of dollars a bottle good whiskey.
It got me thinking, maybe it wasn't a "move on" situation, or a "how to get through life without her", but a how to get her back situation. It all seemed pretty clear to me at this point. The problem that drove her away was the kid, Ruby, so that was what would need to be "adjusted", but how was I supposed to fix this problem. She was definitely my child, there was no denying that, it had already been proven. However, I didn't know that I actually had to be her dad. I mean, biologically I always would be, but social services couldn't force me to keep her if her mother was dead, right? No, that's wrong. I shook my head at the thought. Who knows what kind of hell she had already been through with social services and foster care. I laid in that bed, I needed to man up. She was mine. But why now? After all this time?
My eyes were getting heavy as I continued to sip from the bottle and trying to solve my problem. Problems. They were something that would happen all the time, in a relationship or not. It wasn't like I wasn't honest with Pepper about kids, I didn't know I had one, and lord knows it isn't the kids fault. I don't understand why she wouldn't stand by me?
"Jarvis, call Pepper!" I yelled.
"Sir, Pepper requested that you not call her." Jarvis answered.
"Jarvis, just do it!"
The dialing began echoing through the house, it rang several times before going to voicemail. "Pepper," I started, then belched, "I don- I don't understand what is going on. You told me- YOU TOLD ME that we would be together no matter what. That we could get through anything, Pepper. We are a team. I didn't know… If I did I would have told you. I will fix it Pepper. I will fix this. I can't live my life without you. Please, come back." I ended the call, hoping she would call back within minutes, but had no such luck.
My eyelids had begun to grow heavy, and the world spun faster than my mind could process around me, it felt like being on a sailboat in the middle of the ocean during a storm. I went to move so I could stand, but the world in turn moved even faster. I decided that I should sit right where I was for a little bit longer, just until I regained my bearings, but my eyelids just continued to get heavier and heavier.
The next thing I knew I was opening my eyes to Rhodes kicking my foot and shaking me back to consciousness. "Tony, are ya in there?" He asked as he lightly smacked my face.
I shoved his hands away, "Yeah, I'm here," I grunted as I sat myself up a little more, the light shining into the room made it hard for my eyes to focus and gave me a pounding headache, "but why are you here?"
"There have been people trying to get ahold of you for hours. I called Pepper… What's going on, Tony?" He was my friend, I knew he cared, but I didn't want to discuss this with him.
"Why are people trying to get ahold of you? Who are the people?" I asked
"The infirmary was the first, then Bruce tried too, and I tried. It's Peter, Tony. He showed up at Stark Tower beaten, bloody, and looking for you. He almost died from blood loss."
My body went completely ridgid. "Is he okay?" I asked, then rubbed my eyes and stood up- if nothing else I needed to go and see him.
"They think he will be alright, but what about you Tony? What's going on? Its six in the morning, and you're still trashed."
"I'm not trashed!" I snapped, then sucked in a breath, ordering myself to calm down, "I messed everything up with Pepper."
"How? I can't believe that after all the stupid shit you pulled with her, you could do anyth-" He started
"Rhodes, I have a kid. A daughter." I said, the words feeling foreign coming from my mouth. "She's sixteen. I didn't… I didn't know about her. I didn't know Ruby even existed."
Rhodes leaned heavily on my kitchen table. "Who- when-" His face twisted in confusion.
"When I went to Brazil. After the accident, it was the first time I had went back since the accident. It was a hell of a trip, and I remember her mother, Sophia Silva, we did have a relationship, but it was destined for failure. She loved me, she was so in love with me, but I couldn't fully return it. I was just a young, dumb, kid. Well, I was an adult, but mentally… I don't know. It was so long ago. I thought about going back, I wrote her letters, but I never got any type of reply. We got in a fight before we left. Rhodes, she never told me she was pregnant. Never told me I had a daughter."
We sat in silent for a few moments as he processed it, and I got my thoughts back together. "Why's she here now?" He asked, and I snapped my eyes up to look at him, "Well, I mean, why after all these years would she be here now- her and her mother."
"Her mother brought her here, but she died of a disease three years ago." I said, "She's here because she needs a parent."
"Three years ago? That's a long time to keep a secret like that Tony. Especially when you have no one else. Are you sure she's not here… looking for something maybe?"
"What are you getting at Rhodes? She's a sixteen year old girl who has been in the system for three years, and lived in Brazil slowly starving for 13 years." I snapped, unsure of why I was being defensive.
"Whoa Tony, I'm just asking questions here. Something isn't adding up. Have you asked any questions?"
I hadn't. Not really. I was too shocked to ask any questions. "No…" I said as I rubbed my head.
"Why don't you get dressed, you need to get to Stark Tower for Peter, then we can take you to her so you can ask questions." Rhodes said. I looked down at myself, I reeked of alcohol and sweat.
"She's there still. At Stark Tower- at Avengers Tower." I said as I looked back up at him.
"Then I won't have to drive you anywhere else." He said with the slight shrug of the shoulders.
I changed clothes and threw on some deodorant and cologne and brushed my teeth and hair and then let him lead me to his car. "You probably could have used a shower. You look like hell and that cologne only helps so much." He said as I buckled my seatbelt. I rolled my eyes, but I knew he was right. I leaned back in my seat, just trying to clear the intense fog that filled my head, and hoping that it would help relieve the huge headache that pounded right behind my eyes.
The ride went way too fast. It only seemed like minutes and we were at the tower parking the car in the garage. I followed him into the Tower, keeping my sunglasses on to dim the fluorescent lights. He abruptly stopped at the door to Peter's room, "Who is that?" He asked as he pointed to the girl sleeping in the chair right next to Peter's bed.
I knew her instantly- how could I ever forget her face, her hair, her anything. "That's my daughter." I said, the words catching in my throat as they came out.
Rhodes raised a brow as he looked at her through the glass. "Well, then I guess this is all you." He said, and then left me standing there alone.
I don't know how long I stood there, just looking into his room. Peter's face was pale except for right under his eyes where bags had formed under his left eye in deep purple and black colors, and his right eye was so swollen I doubted he could even open it, and it was full of black and blue colors. He had a cracked lip, a bruised had formed there too, and as I examined him further it looked like he had bruises on his neck too. One of his arms had a cast on it, and I could see where a doctor had upturned the sheets near his abdomen on the left side, I could only image the injury that was there. I finally sucked in a deep breath and walked in the room. I gently shook her and kicked her foot trying to wake her up. As soon as her eyes opened a look of fear mixed with shock filled her face. "Hey, kid, Ruby, can we talk?" I was trying to keep my voice from being sharp, from showing any anger.
"Yeah, we can talk." She spit out, she was terrified and she was not good at hiding it.
That's when my first bit of concern for her hit me, and it hit me hard. If she was my child, that meant she was my weakness, and she did not have a good poker face, if she was ever compromised, she very well may have no chance at survival because of that. You can't panic in high stress situation where you need to have a clear head so you can save yourself if help isn't coming or isn't coming quick enough. It knocked the air out of me for a second. I pushed it away as she continued to talk. "Here?" She asked.
"No, I have an office up on the next floor. Let's talk there." This time my voice was sharp, but it was unintentional, the fear that had just struck me still lingered.
I took her up to my office, sitting her down as I stared out the window, trying to figure out what exactly to say. I lost myself while I was looking out that window. My thoughts slipped somewhere else, they switched to my job, to Pepper, to just about anything but her. Her voice, once again, brought me back to reality.
During our conversation I watched her movements, I watched how she talked with her hands, I watched her face of confusion, of vulnerability, and I saw her face of anger, of hurt. When she stormed from the office, I realized we had not been alone. Clint stood there, his eyes angry, stern.
"I cannot believe the things you just said to her, Tony." His voice was barely audible. "She is a sixteen year old little girl!" He screamed as he slammed my office door. "She's your sixteen year old little girl! Think about what she must have been through Tony, not just in Brazil, but right here, under your own nose in the states. She was about ready to be sent to juvy just because they didn't have room and patience!"
"You don't think I know that?! You don't think that that has been the only damn thing I have been able to think about for the last 16 hours! I know she is my child, Clint!" I yelled back as I slammed on my desk.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Tony? She doesn't want money from you! She wants love, understanding, protection, guidance, the same thing all kids want. She needs those things Tony. That's why she is here. Not money, not fame, she's here for you to be her dad." He snapped, I could feel the anger radiating from him.
"How am I supposed to give her any of that, Clint! Look at me, look at my track record! How am I supposed to give her any sort of protection or guidance or any of that!" I was burning out, I was lost and confused with what I should be doing. I didn't want him here in my office, screaming at me.
"Figure it out, Tony! You are the adult, you are the dad here!" He screamed again, his face was as red as a tomato.
"Clint, get out of my office. I don't need you screaming at me, lecturing me." I said and turned away from him.
I heard him start to leave, I heard him open the door, but then he stopped. "All those bad people we fight, Tony, they weren't born bad. They didn't just wake up one day having those outlooks on life. It all started somewhere, with something. It's things like this, fights like you just had, a little girl meeting her dad, her hero after her mom told her of their love, of his big heart, just to have him cast her away, tell her he doesn't want her and doesn't even remember her mom. If you don't go and fix things, don't be surprised when one day we get a call about someone endangering lives, and when we show up she's the bad guy." He never turned around to face me. In his eyes I wasn't even worth looking in the eyes now, and I found myself feeling the same way about myself.