Dear Readers,
I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but some things happened.
Probably it was the last time I could spend with one of my favourite paw buddies before he would be put down. I'm glad that I had been offered that opportunity by the way. True to the motto "Live everyday like it's your last!" we wanted to make his remaining time as special and pleasant as possible.
Also I had to celebrate my birthday even if getting older isn't that fun anymore. I had a wonderful relaxing and very romantic weekend at a spa hotel with my beloved (thank you, Schatz! It was the best gift ever, I love you! :-*). Yeah, and as a present from myself, I decided to get new piercings, so it wasn't that fun be on my laptop for the first few days.
Aaaand I had been at my first BDSM party last weekend, which got me some more inspiration.
Enjoy ;-)
SquaMata
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35. Dark Desires
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The content of this chapter may raise some questions.
Don't hesitate to ask, I'll answer as soon and honest as possible.
Of course you could use the list for your own purposes ;) It's similar to the one I'm going to publish in my book about BDSM.
Now let's get this scene started.
Have fun!
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Over the last weeks Sakura had figured him out pretty well:
Gaara was a very tense person, who was always focused on his work and the village. He seemed distant, cold and stern, but he was also honest, generous and guest-friendly. The redhead had to keep himself very controlled, because he couldn't afford to let Shukaku take over again.
With the people he let nearer to him he was different, he showed his caring and loving side especially to his siblings and recently to Sakura. The pinkette had learned during kissing and sex he was a very passionate lover, although inwardly fighting with the demon. Shukaku's remains probably woukd make him crazy in the long term, he was trying to turn the voices in his head down with excessive work-out, calming meditation technics, a wonderful spa area in his living space and casual sex with professionals until a certain secret incident nobody liked to talk about.
The young kunoichi had also noticed Gaara had different behaviour depending on the sex. During nice and soft vanilla sex he was absolutely quiet and seemed very controlled, nonetheless passionate, caring and fixed on her wellbeing. More recently he seemed a bit bored by this kind of intercourse, so they both spiced it up a little.
They had some steamy experiences like surprising office sex, sex on his private balcony, his whirlpool and so on. Gaara always started nice and soft, but the moment of surprise and the unplanned situations seemed to gnaw at his strings of control. Shukaku then partly took over, showed his animalistic side and fucked her relentlessly until Gaara regained control, which happened usually after he came hard with a loud snarl. Sakura found it interesting that when he let his control slip, he could become really loud in passion and did not spare dirty talk.
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Yeah, it happened a lot during the last weeks!
And we had so much fun!
But still, it wasn't enough though…
Your fault!
Mine? At least I'm honest to myself.
Shut up, we need to go!
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Sakura wasn't aware of how she had missed her inner self in the past, she couldn't even remember why she had stopped talking to her. Smiling she put on her black dress and shoes and stepped out of her room only to bump into Kakashi. Before she could fell down he caught her in his arms. He had been avoiding her for the last two weeks now and it felt really strange for both to be that close again.
Their eyes met for a brief moment as he held her to his chest, but professional as always he let her go with an eye-crinkle, waved Goodbye and went into his own room without any word spoken.
The pinkette stood there dumbfounded and tried to process the tingling feeling of their bodily contact.
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The great copy-nin closed the door and pinched the bridge of his nose a few times before he putt off his boots and flak jacket. He went into his bedroom, took a glass of water to cool his racing brain and sat down on the comfy lounger. The jounin rubbed his silverhead and stared through the window into the distance. The sun began to set as he noticed his reflection, his face showed a pained expression, he had lost some weight and he looked tired with those big bags under his eyes. He had not been sleeping properly since, well…
In ANBU they say:
Act like nothing ever happened, and it never happened.
Easier said than done…
He sighed and closed his eyes, maybe he could get some sleep now, although he highly doubted it.
The way she was dressed… It's clear she's on her way to HIM…
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Gaara had ordered her to join him in his apartment after dinner. They were sitting on the crème coloured vintage loungers in the main part of his bedroom and talked.
"Sakura, during the last weeks you showed me you have a kinky side indeed too. I thought maybe we could… We could kind of deepen our relationship a bit?" Honest turquoise eyes found her emerald ones as he took her hand in his. "I would like to show you something. Please be honest with me and tell me your thoughts about it."
She gave him her most beautiful smile.
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"Do you trust me?"
"Yes, I do." Over the last weeks she managed to put the main parts of the demon together, so it should be safer now.
"Come with me."
He stood up and led her to the anteroom of his bedroom, they stopped in front of a walnut wardrobe.
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"Promise me you will keep that secret to yourself!" His expression seemed a bit timid.
"Of course, Gaara."
The young kazekage smiled and opened the wardrobe, which turned out to be a secret door actually. The redhead led her into the new room and they sat down on the black Victorian leather couch.
He gave her a moment to process her first impressions in silence.
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So this was the secret room Temari mentioned.
There were two doors on one wall, one was the one they had used a few minutes ago. It was no wonder she had never seen it before, it was well hidden in a wardrobe in the anteroom of his bedroom. Sakura stood up to walk over to the second door and tested if her visual thinking was right and it led into the spa like bathroom indeed, also hidden by a shelf in the artificial boulders.
Curious she walked around the obvious playroom. There were only transom windows on two of the three dark grey walls. There was a boarding at one wall appearing as a stylistic effect and decorated with all imaginable items. On the opposite of the two doors on one wall there was a large, ebony four-poster-bed with crimson satin sheets and silver rings held by lion heads on each bed post. There were also a penalty bench, a metal frame and a huge, padded cross in the room. It was pretty impressive and to be honest it scared her a little.
She was looking at the padded metal cuffs as Gaara approached behind her. He gently tugged a strain behind her ear, embraced her and whispered softly into her ear.
"Are you afraid?"
"Afraid of what?" Sakura answered curiously.
"The secret side of me." His husky voice was barely audible and sent goosebumps over her exposed skin. Softly he kissed her neck and let go to give her some space. He looked at her and his fears vanished due to the confident and reassuring smile she gave him, which he returned.
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They sat down on his couch to talk. The pinkette pointed at this room. "Have you been here with others?"
"Yes." He had nothing to hide from her.
"So it's not a big secret." She challenged him a bit.
"In fact it is. Remember I have a reputation to lose. Those were professionals only who indentured to not talk a single word about it under penalty of death."
She gulped at his last statement before she nodded in understanding.
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"And in your bedroom?"
"As I told you before: No, my bedroom is my personal area. I've never let anyone inside. You are the first and hopefully the last woman allowed there." He smiled at the beautiful girl next to him.
She understood. "I'm good at keeping secrets."
"I know." He took her hand and began to caress it with his soft fingertips.
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"Do you have any experiences with this topic?" Although he was confident and pure male in everything he did, he still seemed a bit timid and cautious to not scare her in any way. Clearly he wanted her to relax and to get used to the new situation.
Flashes of her training came to her mind and she chuckled. "Yes, but not as much as I would wish to have."
Gaara smiled a bit more relieved. "Do you know your limits?"
"Ehrm, yes I think so."
"Do you want to play with them and extend borders?" His intense eyes bore right into her soul, which made her shiver in excitement.
"Yes." Her response was mere above a whisper.
"God, I hoped you'd say that." All his inward fears and the tension fell off as that blurted out of him in a very Naruto-ish way and both had to laugh.
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Then he leaned nearer to kiss her softly and embrace her, they were relaxed now."So what do you like? What do you want to try? Is there anything you had never done but are curious? What do you absolutely not want to do? Do you want to go through a list?"
He noticed he was maybe asking too much of her, he didn't want to scare her away. "I'm sorry, I'm babbling. I don't want to overcharge you, I'm just so excited. We don't need to rush anything, I mean we have all the time that it takes, ehrm, I mean, assumed you want to…"
The confident pinkette cut in. "Do you have a list?"
Easily he found back to his controlled self. "Yes." He stood up to get a clipboard with some printed sheets of paper out of the drawer of a rack and handed it to her. Her eyes went huge as she browsed through. "It's easier when you minimize the possibility to forget things."
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Gaara knew she needed to breathe and calm down. "Take your time. I go and get us something to drink. What do you want?"
Without looking up from the sheets of paper a certain pink-cheeked kunoichi nodded and answered without thinking "Gin Tonic with a slice of cucumber."
The young kazekage smirked and went outside.
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SCENE QUESTIONNAIRE FOR BDSM ACTIVITIES
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The following is a list of activities in the BDSM scene. It can be used to see what level both are and to find commonality for future sessions together.
Place a check next to each box which you can relate to the most. If confused, go to the next one, and come back when finished with the rest. Answer each question honestly.
Where it says "Yes/No" = means whether you've experienced that type of activity before. Put "Y" for yes or "N" for no.
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RATING SCALE
Activities you have tried before:
Y 0 = Never ask me to do that again.
Y 1 = I don't want to do that, but wouldn't object if it was asked of me.
Y 2 = I'm willing to do that, although it has no huge appeal for me.
Y 3 = I like doing that, at least on an occasional basis.
Y 4 = I love this activity, I want it on a regular basis.
Y 5 = I love this activity, I want it as often as possible.
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Activities you have never tried before:
N 0 = Don't ask me to do that.
N 1 = I don't want to try that, but wouldn't object if it was asked of me.
N 2 = I'm willing to try that, although it has no huge appeal for me.
N 3 = I'm curious, I want to try it at least once.
N 4 = I think I'll like this activity, I want it a few times.
N 5 = I think I'll love this activity, I want it often.
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FETISH WEAR
Y/N # Activity
_ [ ] Corsets
_ [ ] French maid
_ [ ] High Heels
_ [ ] Leather
_ [ ] Lingerie
_ [ ] PVC
_ [ ] Rubber
_ [ ] Slutty
_ [ ] Spandex
_ [ ] Uniforms
_ [ ] Victorian
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ROLE PLAY
Y/N # Activity
_ [ ] Act as objects (cars, furniture, etc)
_ [ ] Arrested
_ [ ] Burglar Attack
_ [ ] Call Girl
_ [ ] Cowgirl
_ [ ] Interrogation Scene
_ [ ] Kidnap Scene
_ [ ] Little girl
_ [ ] Maid
_ [ ] Medical Scene
_ [ ] Nun
_ [ ] Rape Scene (one)
_ [ ] Rape Scene (multiple)
_ [ ] Pet Roles
_ [ ] Secretary
_ [ ] Student
_ [ ] Teenager
_ [ ] Torture Victim
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BONDAGE
Y/N # Activity
_ [ ] Arm Sleeves
_ [ ] Blindfolds
_ [ ] Breasts
_ [ ] Gag
_ [ ] Cage
_ [ ] Chains
_ [ ] Chastity Belts
_ [ ] Genital
_ [ ] Harness
_ [ ] Hoods
_ [ ] Immobilization (short time)
_ [ ] Immobilization (long time)
_ [ ] Inside a closet
_ [ ] Leather cuffs
_ [ ] Leather restraints
_ [ ] Mask
_ [ ] Mind
_ [ ] Nipple Clamps
_ [ ] Rack
_ [ ] Rope
_ [ ] Scarves
_ [ ] Shackles
_ [ ] Sling
_ [ ] Spread bar
_ [ ] Steel cuffs
_ [ ] Steel restraints
_ [ ] Stock
_ [ ] Straight jacket
_ [ ] Suspension (regular)
_ [ ] Suspension (up-side down)
_ [ ] Suspension (horizontal)
_ [ ] Tied to a cross
_ [ ] Wrestling
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SEXUAL DOM/sub
Y/N # Activity
_ [ ] Anal
_ [ ] Anal beads
_ [ ] Anal plugs (small)
_ [ ] Anal plugs (large)
_ [ ] Anal fisting
_ [ ] Anal (vibrator/dildo)
_ [ ] Benwa balls
_ [ ] Bi-sexuality
_ [ ] Chastity Belt
_ [ ] Cock Worship
_ [ ] Forced bi-sexuality
_ [ ] Hand jobs (giving)
_ [ ] Hand jobs (receiving)
_ [ ] Masturbation
_ [ ] Orgy (more then 3)
_ [ ] Oral sex (giving)
_ [ ] Oral sex (receiving)
_ [ ] Orgasm Control
_ [ ] Orgasm Denial
_ [ ] Sexual Double Penetration
_ [ ] Swallow semen
_ [ ] Threesome MFF
_ [ ] Threesome MMF
_ [ ] Vaginal sex
_ [ ] Vaginal fisting
_ [ ] Vaginal Toys
_ [ ] Vaginal – Anal intercourse (same time)
_ [ ] Voyeurism (watching Dom play w/others)
_ [ ] Voyeurism (watching others play)
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EDGE/MIND PLAY
Y/N # Activity
_ [ ] Abrasion
_ [ ] Asphyxia
_ [ ] Branding
_ [ ] Breast (weights)
_ [ ] Breast (cloth pins)
_ [ ] Breast (pins/needles)
_ [ ] Breast (rope)
_ [ ] Choking
_ [ ] Cloth Pins
_ [ ] Cutting
_ [ ] Face slapping
_ [ ] Genital (weights)
_ [ ] Genital (cloth pins)
_ [ ] Genital (pins/needles)
_ [ ] Genital (rope)
_ [ ] Genital whipping
_ [ ] Gun Play
_ [ ] Hair Pulling
_ [ ] Hot wax
_ [ ] Ice
_ [ ] Fire and Ice (same time)
_ [ ] Knife play
_ [ ] Medical scenes
_ [ ] Needles
_ [ ] Piercing
_ [ ] Pinching
_ [ ] Rape Fantasy
_ [ ] Sleep deprivation
_ [ ] Tattoo
_ [ ] Tickling
_ [ ] Torture rack
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HUMILIATION
Y/N # Activity
_ [ ] Act as objects (furniture, etc.)
_ [ ] Age Play
_ [ ] Blindfolds
_ [ ] Boot worship
_ [ ] Called by curse words (Whore, Slut, etc.)
_ [ ] Crawl on all fours
_ [ ] Curtsy in public
_ [ ] Cut words into skin
_ [ ] Dom chooses food
_ [ ] Dom chooses cloths
_ [ ] Enema
_ [ ] Eye contact restrictions
_ [ ] Face slapping
_ [ ] Forced dressing
_ [ ] Forced exercising
_ [ ] Forced nudity
_ [ ] Forced masturbation
_ [ ] Forced to be a slave
_ [ ] Forced to wear a collar and leash at home
_ [ ] Forced to wear a sign of submission in public (subtle collar, ring, nipple clamps, anal plug, etc.)
_ [ ] Forced to wear see thru clothes
_ [ ] Golden shower
_ [ ] Harem–serving w/other(s)
_ [ ] Hood
_ [ ] Kneeling
_ [ ] Maid services
_ [ ] Mask
_ [ ] Pet roles (act like a dog, cat, etc)
_ [ ] Pet play (forced sex w/pet)
_ [ ] Scolding
_ [ ] Spitting in face
_ [ ] Serve as waitress
_ [ ] Shave body hair
_ [ ] Shave pubic hair
_ [ ] Spanking
_ [ ] Speech restriction
_ [ ] Stand in corner
_ [ ] Swallow urine
_ [ ] Take Pictures
_ [ ] Take Video
_ [ ] Verbal Abuse
_ [ ] Wear Collar everywhere
_ [ ] Write on Body (slut, sissy, worthless, etc.)
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CORPORAL PUNISHMENT
Y/N # Activity
_ [ ] Belts
_ [ ] Bruises
_ [ ] Cane (leather)
_ [ ] Cane (plastic)
_ [ ] Crop
_ [ ] Flogger (braided)
_ [ ] Flogger (no knots)
_ [ ] Leather Paddle
_ [ ] Paddle
_ [ ] Spanking (Hands)
_ [ ] Whip
_ [ ] Wooden Hair Brush
_ [ ] Wooden Paddle
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PERMITTED AREAS FOR CORPORAL PUNISHMENT
Y/N # Activity
_ [ ] Arms
_ [ ] Back
_ [ ] Belly
_ [ ] Breasts
_ [ ] Buttocks
_ [ ] Face
_ [ ] Feet
_ [ ] Fingers
_ [ ] Hands
_ [ ] Legs
_ [ ] Neck
_ [ ] Inner thighs
_ [ ] Outer thighs
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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
Why and when did you get involved with BDSM?
Which role did you play? DOM □ SUB □
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Which role will you play in this/these session/s? DOM □ SUB □
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What do you seek from your DOM?
What do you offer as a sub (emotionally and spiritually)?
Is there anything you want to try which wasn't mentioned above?
What do you feel are your current absolute limits?
Do you have any medical conditions and emotional concerns that I should know about?
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Please write down your chosen words:
Slow-word: (decreasing activity)
Go-word: (increasing activity)
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Keep in mind that you are both responsible for your health and all activities you do.
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ALWAYS SAFE, SANE & CONSENSUAL!
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You are not allowed to talk to anyone about whatever may happen between us.
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Name:
Sign:
Date:
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He brought her the long drink and sat down beside her in safe distance. They clinked glasses, she was almost done with the fill in.
When she had finished, she put the clipboard on the couch table in front of her ant took a big sip of her drink before she dared to look at Gaara again.
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"Do you have any questions by now?"
The pinkette shook her head and handed him her questionnaire.
He liked what she had tagged. Although seemingly she had not much experience, she was willing to try a lot with him. Her face turned back from beet-red to normal as she had half of her drink.
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"Sakura, one more thing: Sometimes it gets a little hard for me and as you know by now Shukaku partly takes over. If that's the case use your safeword immediately or in the worst case punch him really hard, which shouldn't be a problem for you as being the infamous apprentice of the legendary Tsunade."
"Ok." It's obvious, something must have happened.
The young kazekage helped her up gently and smiled at her. "Come with me, Sakura." He led the nervous girl to the bed.
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"Let's start nice and slow. Remember, we don't need to rush things here, just relax and have a good time." He kissed her deeply and they started to make out, discarding their clothes.