Content: In which there are truths coming to light.
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Author's Note: First of all, thank you SO MUCH for all your lovely feedback on the last chapters! I'm so thrilled you're that invested in my story :D
And we're getting so close to the finish line! Just this chapter, the next one and then we're already on the epilogue. Buckle up, friends ;D
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Dean's heart plummets when Castiel turns around and basically flees the room in a hurry.
He didn't even remember to offer his brother – the freaking groom! – a somewhat flimsy excuse or at least a quick apology before vanishing. No, he just ran off, apparently so overwhelmed by Dean's huge confession that he couldn't stand staying in the same room as him anymore.
Dean's feet start to move on their own account as soon as Castiel disappears out of his line of sight.
He can't leave things between them like that!
He just can't!
But before he's even able to make more than two steps Gabriel suddenly blocks his way, expression hard, and commands, "You're not going anywhere, pal!"
Dean bites his lips, his gaze flickering to the door while thousand different emotions are threatening to tear him apart.
He can't believe he managed to screw up in such a big manner!
What the hell is wrong with him?
He planned everything so perfectly. He even practiced his words in front of a mirror, like an anxious mess, until he was satisfied with the outcome. His speech sounded heartfelt and open and ideally would've made Castiel forget that he had been lied to for the last few days.
Dean was so fucking prepared for this.
But then Castiel had to throw him off just like that.
And Dean couldn't take the sad look on his face as Castiel basically told him how absolutely ridiculous it would be for people to even assume they might be more than friends.
It'd been too much.
Castiel seemed so stricken and defeated and Dean felt his heart break into a million pieces at the sight of that and before he even knew it his mouth ran away from him and all the words tumbled out he kept in for so long. His common sense, his freaking brain, just went white and his emotions took over after that.
Dean should've known right from the start that it's impossible to prepare anything when it comes to Castiel.
And now he's gone and Dean wants just to catch up with him, explain. Set things right.
See him smile again.
However, there are certain things standing in his way right now.
Or well, certain people, to be exact.
"You're gonna tell me what the hell is going on right now!" Gabriel orders, his hand resting on Dean's chest as though he's more than ready to push him backwards, as far away from the door – and Castiel – as possible.
"I just … Cas …" Dean starts, a little helplessly.
He knows the look in Gabriel's eyes. He isn't the fun, slightly inappropriate host anymore. No, he is the big brother now, getting ready to rip people to shreds to protect their younger siblings.
To do anything for them.
Dean used that look in the past (and still sometimes even to these days) more times than he can count.
"I don't know what just happened, but I seriously didn't like Cassie's face right now," Gabriel all but growls. "What the fuck did you say to him?"
Dean swallows audibly. Gabriel means business, that's fairly obvious.
"I didn't mean –"
"You know, my dear brother got all kinds of weird when you first arrived here," Gabriel cuts in. "I really didn't like it. I assumed you've been some kind of bully back in high school and Cas too afraid to tell me since he didn't wanna ruin my wedding mood or whatever kind of emotional bullshit he made up in his head –"
Dean's eyes grow so big it's feels a bit like they're on the verge of popping out any second. "No, please!" he says hastily. "I would never – not in a billion years –"
Even the mere thought makes Dean sick to his stomach.
"I've never bullied Cas!" he states. "Or anyone else, for that matter."
Gabriel lifts an eyebrow, assessing Dean from top to bottom like he figures he'd be able to detect the truth that way.
"I was a dick in school, yes," Dean admits, sighing. "I pushed people away because … well, because my childhood was crappy and at some point I decided I didn't need any friends or whatever. And Cas … I guess he was one of the people I avoided." The most important one, actually. "I was stupid back then and thought I had to fight on my own. But I never said anything bad about the other students or trapped people into lockers or … or …" He inhales deeply. "I mostly stayed by myself since I was a dumb kid and had no clue what I was missing out on."
Gabriel eyes him up, still looking not entirely convinced.
"Cas is amazing," Dean continues since just like before he can't really stop himself once he started. "I know that now and I knew that back in school. He's just … I would never hurt him on purpose. You have to believe me!"
Gabriel pulls a face, obviously not thrilled by Dean's choice of words. "I'm not the one who has to do anything here!" he clarifies, leaving no room for objections. "But you need to tell me what you did to my brother or I swear to God –!"
"I didn't mean to overwhelm him like that." Dean feels a fresh wave of desperation wash over him as he pictures Castiel's face once more. "I'm just … I'm so stupid! Instead of starting with the truth about Jo and me, my mouth decided to run away from me and before I knew it I told Cas how gorgeous he is, how awesome and how everyone on the fucking planet would be thrilled to flirt with him, including me. Especially me." Dean groans wholeheartedly. "I basically confessed my ridiculous crush and dumped it on his head without any warning whatsoever. It's no wonder he ran off, to be honest."
Dean isn't even sure he wouldn't have done the same in Castiel's situation. It's a lot to take in, particularly when you don't know the whole story.
Castiel must think him a fucking bastard who doesn't love his girlfriend enough.
At least that seems to be exactly what Gabriel believes, according to the look he shoots Dean after that little speech. "Your crush? On my brother?"
"Yes –"
"Little Cassie, with the blue eyes and the awkward social skills?"
Dean can't help taking offense at Gabriel's incredulous tone. "Hey, you don't need to act like it's the most ridiculous thing ever! Cas is doing that enough for the both of you –"
"Oh no, I don't think it's absurd someone might fall in love with Castiel," Gabriel counters instantly. "On the contrary, I'm actually surprised it doesn't happen more often. He's an adorable little dude."
Dean isn't really able to argue with that, though he can think of about a thousand different terms to describe Castiel better.
"But I consider myself a good judge of character and you, my buff friend – well, I thought better of you, I have to say," Gabriel admits. "You seem like a good guy. And don't get me wrong, you can't help who you fall in love with, sometimes it just happens out of the blue, but handling the situation makes the difference. I mean, Castiel is currently crushing on a guy who's in a serious relationship and not even once did he think about –"
Suddenly Gabriel pauses mid-sentence and widens his eyes as realization apparently hits him forcefully. "Oh God, it's you, isn't it? The guy he's crushing on? Who makes him all smiley and blushy?"
Dean's heart picks up the pace at those words. Is he hearing that correctly?
Castiel … likes him?
Like that?
Can Dean seriously be that lucky?
"Cas … has a crush on me?" Dean knows he sounds all kinds of hopeful and he doesn't give a damn.
Maybe Emma honestly had been onto something when she claimed over and over again that Castiel was fond of him.
She's way too perceptive for her age, that's for sure. Dean can't wait for puberty to kick in with her.
"Oh dammit," Gabriel groans. "I should've seen that coming, shouldn't I? You always hang around each other and all the staring and stuff. It's nauseating to look at. I even joked with Cas that he apparently found his soulmate in you, can you believe that?"
Dean flushes at the image.
Usually things like that would make him run for the hills, as far away as possible. But now, with Castiel? It honestly doesn't sound so bad.
"Ugh, look at your face!" Gabriel complains, grimacing hard at him. "You've got it bad, haven't you?"
Dean's unable to deny that, so he settles for a half-shrug á la "what can you do?"
"Do you seriously have to do this, twenty minutes before my wedding!" Gabriel's hand clenches and for a moment there Dean is certain he'll feel a fist connecting with his nose in no time at all. "You really need better timing!"
He's absolutely right, Dean will give him that.
"How can you do that to Jo?" Gabriel asks, frustrated and angry and obviously ready to throw some punches. "I mean, like I said, I totally understand the falling-in-love-with-my-dreamy-brother thing, but doesn't she deserve the truth before you start proposing to Castiel? You need to do this the right way and she's the one that needs to be your focus now!"
"Gabe –"
"Did you even think this through?" Gabriel continues, ignoring the brief interruption. "I mean, you don't throw away such a deep and long-lasting relationship 'coz you get a bit tingly in my brother's presence! Every couple has some rough times and sometimes new people cross your path and you begin to feel certain things, but still … a strong commitment like yours, it's not that easily dissolved. Don't destroy something good here."
"Gabe –"
"And even if you eventually decide it's worth it, could you do me the kindness and postpone this for after the wedding?" Gabriel urges. "You should seriously consider waiting until Kali and I are on our honeymoon, put as much distance between us as possible. Because Kali loves Jo and she'd hate to see her heart broken and she'd rip you into pieces for making Jo miserable and ruining the wedding!"
Dean can't help a smile at that. It's heartwarming to see that both Gabriel and Kali are that protective of Jo. She got herself some good friends here.
"I don't –"
"Yes, yes, yes, you don't mean to hurt her, yada yada yada," Gabriel waves him off impatiently. "But the truth is, you will, buddy. It'll sting and burn and neither Jo or Cas deserve that, don't you think? So how about next time you keep those big love confessions in until you sort things out in a mature way? And especially not right before a wedding when one party is actually supposed to concentrate on his role as best man! And the other one is a bridesmaid – to the most terrifying bride you'll ever meet."
Dean grits his teeth. "Jo will be fine –"
"Oh, you're so sure about that?" Gabriel scoffs as he folds his arms across his chest. "Yes, she seems to be a tough woman and she certainly is, no question asked, but she still got feelings, man, and a heart which can get broken, and if you think you can just get away with brushing off –"
"OH MY GOD, GABE!" Dean interrupts harshly. "Could you just shut up for a minute?"
Dean is so not in the mood to argue with this guy over non-existent problems when Castiel is out there somewhere, confused and overwhelmed, and Dean could so easily resolve that issue with the goddamned truth he actually intended to share before he managed to screw up majorly.
"Jo will be fine!" he emphasizes, his voice rising. "Our deep and meaningful relationship – it's all a fucking lie! We're just pretending, for Christ's sake!"
Gabriel freezes on the spot, gaping at Dean like he can't believe what he's hearing right now.
"What?"
Dean takes a heavy sigh, shutting his eyes for a moment as he recalls the speech he actually prepared for Castiel before everything went to hell. "When Jo heard that Ethan would be here, she didn't wanna come alone, all single while that douche bag parades his sparkly girlfriend around. So she asked me to help her out."
Gabriel blinks rapidly. "Like … a cheesy rom-com?"
Dean snorts. It's not that far from the truth. "In a manner, yes. Jo figured Ethan would be pretty pissed when he'd see us together. Or, well, actually Kali figured it'd be a good idea –"
"Kali?" Gabriel suddenly exclaims. "My Kali?"
Dean rolls his eyes. "How many Kalis do you know?"
"So what, Kali thought it'd be fun to see Ethan suffer like that and she didn't tell me?" Gabriel looks deeply offended by that. "How could she keep that a secret? I mean, how could she look into my eyes and claim that Jo and you are such an awesome couple when it's all just a lie?" He groans melodramatically. "Is that my punishment for eating the last yogurt the other day? Is she torturing me?"
Dean arches a brow, not exactly sure if he's supposed to answer to that or not.
Thankfully – or, actually, not so thankfully – Dean is spared from reacting in any kind since the door that connects the two adjoined rooms suddenly flies open and a very angry, very blonde figure storms inside, like a hurricane ready to destroy lives.
Oh shit.
That doesn't look good.
"What. The. FUCK?" Jo hisses through gritted teeth as her gaze levels on him. "Dean Meredith Vivian Winchester –"
"That's not my name," Dean can't help mumbling grumpily.
"Do you have any idea how paper-thin those stupid walls are?" Jo points behind herself and yep, there are a bunch of curious bridesmaids who shoot tentative looks through the open door.
And Emma, too.
Great.
"Jo –"
"Spare me the apologies, Winchester!" Jo cuts in, sneering. "It's not that freaking hard to keep your voices down, but no, you just have to yell at each other, so that every single single person at this wedding doesn't even have a chance to miss it!"
Dean's stomach starts to twist uncomfortably as he glances at all those women eyeing him and the whole situation unfolding in front of them with unabashed nosiness. They sure as hell await some good gossip coming their way.
"Shit, Jo, I didn't mean –"
He's screwing up everything today, isn't he?
Dammit.
"So what the hell, Dean?" Jo complains. "We agreed on you telling Cas, but Gabriel over here? He can't keep a secret to save his life!"
"Hey," Gabriel grouches, pouting at her.
"I didn't mean to, it just happened," Dean tries to explain. "Gabriel walked in on me and Cas – well …"
Jo looks pointedly at him. "Well what?"
"I walked in on Dean confessing his undying love for my baby brother," Gabriel continues with a shit-eating grin. "Like emotions and drama all over the place!"
Dean shoots him a glare, but is soon interrupted by feeling someone taking his hand. He blinks downward in surprise and notices Emma looking up at him with naked hope in her gaze.
"You did?" she asks, her voice timid as though she's afraid she might spook her father somehow if she'd talk louder. "You told him you like him?"
Dean swallows hard and finds himself squeezing her little fingers on pure reflex. "I kinda did," he admits.
There's no reason to lie, is there?
Especially not to his baby girl.
Emma squeals delightedly as she wraps her arms around Dean's leg. "Really?" She sounds so excited it almost breaks Dean's heart. "Did you kiss him?"
She bounces up and down happily, awaiting his answer eagerly.
And Dean gets flustered very quickly as he notices all those eyes staring at him, expectant, holding their breath as Dean fumbles for a smooth way to get out of this. There's Jo and Gabriel and all those bridesmaids (why the heck are there so many of them?), piercing Dean down with their intense gazes.
The worst, however, is still Emma. She practically beams like the sun itself, apparently anticipating a beautiful tale about her father not fucking up big time but instead winning Castiel over with his charm, his smile and his ability to use words the right way.
Yeah, Dean always hated to disappoint her.
"Um …" he answers eloquently, as the tense silence around him is starting to suffocate him. "I, uh, did not. Kiss him, I mean."
Though Dean seriously wishes it would have ended that way. It would've been far more pleasant than seeing Castiel running off like a skittish deer.
"Why not?" Emma asks, puzzled. "You like him, right? You wanna kiss him and he wanna kiss you. So why not?"
It sounds so easy, coming out of a child's mouth. Dean envies her a bit for having such a simple worldview where basically anything is possible just because you desire it enough.
God, life would be so much nicer this way.
"Because sometimes things don't work that way, sweetheart," he says, sighing. "It's … it's complicated. Life can get messy and people, well …"
He trails off, uncertain how to proceed.
Especially with dozen pairs of eyes still staring at him.
And eventually Jo obviously has enough. "Okay, what the hell is happening?" she demands to know, pulling her usual I'm-gonna-get-violent-any-second-now look. "Are we seriously talking about this?"
Gabriel shuffles a little closer while looking way too amused for Dean's taste. "I guess we are."
Jo shakes her head in disbelief. "For real? We're talking about Dean here – and his 'undying love' for Cas?"
She actually uses air-quotes like a dork, reminding Dean so much of Castiel that his chest churns painfully as guilt once again hits him like a lightning bolt.
Castiel, who's somewhere in this house. Confused. Hurt. And Dean is way too occupied to get grilled by the entire wedding party to change that fact.
That's not acceptable.
"Can we please hurry this up?" he cuts in impatiently. "Yes, I like like Cas. And yes, I blew it 'cause my stupid brain doesn't work properly in his presence and I basically confessed my feelings without telling him first the truth about Jo and me. So he's out there somewhere, right now, thinking that I'm a bastard who plays with people's hearts or whatever and I can't –" Dean feels a lump forming in his throat as he swallows. "I need to find him and make this right, so how about we postpone this little conversation?"
Dean takes a deep breath, expecting the backlash.
Instead he hears a new voice agreeing, "I would appreciate that."
Dean looks up, toward the door, where the startled bridesmaids scatter to the sides to make room for Kali to step forward.
And Dean can't help his gasp at the sight of her.
She just looks like a frigging Goddess.
Dean never thought that seeing a woman wrapped in a wedding dress would actually render him speechless, but damn, Kali is all kinds of stunning. She looks regal and beautiful and sexy at the same time and Dean finds himself thinking that Gabriel is the luckiest fucker on the planet for marrying a magnificent woman like that.
And Gabriel probably would've agreed if he wouldn't have been too busy with squeaking unattractively and slapping his hand over his eyes to cover his sight.
"What are you doing here?" he exclaims frantically. "I'm not allowed to see you before the wedding!"
Kali rolls her eyes. "Relax, Gabe."
"No, no, no." Gabriel waves uncontrollably with his free arm. "You have to go right now!"
Kali chooses to deliberately ignore him as she fixes her gaze on Dean. "You should honestly set things right with Castiel. I've been witnessing you two pining for each other the whole time and it's getting a bit ridiculous, to be frank."
Dean raises a brow in surprise. "You knew?"
Kali scoffs like the mere indication is the most absurd thing ever. "Of course I know. It's been impossible to miss."
Dean's about to argue, to at least fend for his subtlety, but a quick glance at Emma shuts him up right away. His own five-year-old figured him out after half a minute, so it's not astonishing that this supernatural creature noticed it right away as well.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Dean can't help asking.
Kali snorts. "It's my damned wedding, for Christ's sake. I've got like a zillion more important things to do than help two idiots realize they're hopelessly crazy about each other."
Dean ducks his head and blushes while Emma pats the back of his hand reassuringly and giggles at Kali's words.
Yeah, it's seriously not his day.
"So we're actually serious about this?" Jo chips in once more. "You've got the hots for Castiel? A guy?"
Dean shrugs half-heartedly. "Yeah, if you wanna call it that."
Emma smiles at him, as if she's proud of her old dad for finally admitting his feelings. And Dean's gotta confess, it actually does feel kinda good.
Meanwhile, Jo simply gapes at him, obviously baffled by the whole thing. "You … seriously? You're into dudes?"
"Occasionally," he clarifies.
Jo blinks. "Since when?"
That's the one million dollar question, right? And it's easy to answer.
"Most likely since birth," he says, his lips tugging upwards. "But the first time I really realized it was back in high school. When I met Cas."
The very first moment Castiel smiled at him and Dean's heart skipped a beat (or two or three) for a second there, too enthralled and stunned by the impact such a simple gesture had on him.
And still has.
"God!" Jo groans, like this revelation is causing her pain. "Since … and then you … and him …"
"Please don't be hurt that I never told you," Dean begs. "It's just … there hasn't been much to talk about, to be honest. And I basically told Sam about Cas like three days ago. And well, that one time when I'd been really drunk, apparently." Dean stills shudders as he tries to imagine what bullshit he said that fateful night. "It's not because I didn't trust you with this or 'cause I didn't love you enough or whatever –"
"This is heartbreaking," Kali suddenly interrupts. "And I'd love for you to continue your talk. Sometime later."
"Agreed," Gabriel pipes in, his eyes still covered by his hand, more than determined to not even sneak a peek. "We have a wedding to go to. And I'd like my best man there, too. Preferably happy and smiley. So make this happen, quick!"
Dean straightens up. They're both right, he's got a job to do.
"Cassie is probably in his room," Gabriel adds. "He always goes there to brood."
Dean nods. He's got no clue where the guy's room even is and he'll probably get lost, even with the best directions ever, but there's no way in hell anyone's gonna stop him.
But as he's just about to move, Jo all of a sudden steps in his way. "You're not going!" she decides.
Dean scoffs at her. Is she actually for real? "What the hell, Jo?" he grumbles. "Didn't you listen? I have to find Cas and explain and apologize –"
And sink to his knees and beg for forgiveness.
Whatever is necessary.
However, Jo's expression stays unyielding. "You're still not going!"
"What –?"
"'Cause I'm gonna go and find Cas!"
Dean halts at that and wrinkles his forehead. "Come again?"
"I am the one who has to apologize here," Jo says. "Not you. You didn't do anything wrong."
Well, Dean is about to disagree – he did everything wrong here –, however, Jo looks so freaking resolute right now, there's no way in hell Dean will be able to dissuade her from that.
She's set in her ways and nobody can do anything against it.
But still … "Jo –"
She rises her hand immediately in a shut-the-fuck-up manner, leaving no room for arguments. "This is my mess. And I'm gonna clean it up."
Dean starts to fidget, not sure what to say.
And all the people still looking at him – sans Gabriel who's still burying his face in his palm and mumbling curses underneath his breath – are not helping the situation at all.
"Don't worry, I won't screw it up," Jo promises, a smile not playing over her lips. "After all, there's a pretty boy your daughter wants you to kiss."
Dean smiles back at her. He knows they have a lot to talk about, a bunch of stuff to explain and clarify, but here and now, they understand each other.
And he loves her more than anytime before.
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Castiel paces back and forth in his room, having no idea what to do now.
How do normal people react in situations like this?
Face their fears in a brave manner? Or hide like cowards and hope the ground will swallow them whole and leave nothing behind?
Castiel seriously doesn't know.
The only thing he's certain about is the fact that he has to hurry and come up with a decision. The wedding is about to start in about fifteen minutes and he can't let Gabriel down. Or Kali. Or literally anyone else.
He just can't.
But every time he moves toward the door, determined to step through and walk back to the dressing room to see his brother ready and prepared for the most important day in his life, he freezes, Dean's face popping up in his mind.
His green eyes, so bright and alive. His lips, forming a blinding smile. His cheeks, flushed and beautiful.
And his voice, so soft and deep and gentle, saying all those wonderful things about Castiel …
Kind … funny … gorgeous …
How is Castiel supposed to handle this?
HOW?
Just as he's about to die of frustration, a knock on the door jerks him out of his thoughts.
Castiel's whole body tenses up. It's probably either Dean or Gabriel and he's seriously not in the mood to talk to both at them right now.
It's too much.
He needs time to plan, time to prepare. He can't just answer the door and face the day without analyzing at least thirty different scenarios in his head to figure out the best solution for this mess.
He just can't.
So he stays quiet, hoping that whoever's standing at the door figures the room is empty and continues their search somewhere else. Somewhere far away.
But instead of retreating footsteps he hears a tentative voice asking, muffled through the door, "Castiel, are you in there?"
Castiel blinks in confusion. He honestly didn't expect Jo to show up at his room, looking for him of all people.
What is she doing here?
Is this some sort of nightmare?
Before he even thinks better of it, he gravitates toward the door and opens it. His head might be a jumbled disaster, but he's incapable of simply letting her stand in the hallway just like that.
Not after what happened.
"Jo," Castiel says in a low voice as Jo enters the room without a moment of hesitation. "How … how can I help you?"
There are emotions flickering over her features Castiel probably would have been able to identify if he'd ever learned to read human reactions properly.
"Dean told me everything," she comes straight to the point.
Castiel can't help a flinch.
Everything?
Did Dean seriously tell her that he basically praised Castiel's entire being in an absolutely inappropriate manner while not mentioning her name even once? Did he confess to their text conversation which went on for hours, to the subtle and yet not so subtle flirting …?
Every single muscle in Castiel's body starts to tense up. He's got no idea how to respond to this. Granted, he didn't know that Dean had obviously been more than just friendly and Castiel could easily blame his ignorance, but at the same time he can't deny that a certain part of him felt thrilled by Dean's unexpected confession.
Ecstatic.
And freaking terrified.
"I … I didn't mean …" Castiel mumbles, his voice shaky. No one ever taught him how to act in a social situation like this and once again he finds himself so overwhelmed that the option of running away and escaping the whole thing yet another time appears quite appealing.
But he can't just turn his back on Jo now.
It's impossible.
"I'm so sorry –"
"No, no, no," Jo cuts in instantly. She steps closer, her gaze fixed on him. "You have nothing to feel sorry for, believe me. I am the one who has to apologize here."
Castiel arches a brow. He's fairly sure that's not how it usually works.
"I made a mess out of everything," Jo says, sighing. "I just thought people would put up with our little charade and nobody'd get hurt in the process. But then you happened –" She shuts her eyes for a moment as though she's collecting her thoughts. "Dean would never have accepted lying to the whole wedding party if he'd known that you'd be one of them. He'd figured they'd be just a bunch of strangers he'd never see again and that would be it. And I believed that, too –"
Castiel squints his eyes. There is apparently something important he's missing here.
"Dean … lied?"
"Well, he's still a big baby about the whole thing, so I guess it's more like letting people believe what they believe while not correcting them," Jo explains. "At least I'm quite sure he never lied to you 'cause that's not the kind of guy he is and he seems really crazy about you – a fact, that's still a bit mind-boggling to me, to be honest, though of course I'm fully supporting him –"
"Jo!" Castiel interrupts, not exactly in the mood to listen to her rambling uncontrollably and getting off track for hours on end. "What is going on?"
Why the hell is she talking about lying?
Dean would never lie.
Or would he?
Admittedly, just about fifteen minutes ago Castiel was convinced Dean would never flirt with someone else while being in a serious relationship, so what the fuck does Castiel know?
Social interactions are becoming more and more confusing by the second.
"It is all my fault!" Jo emphasizes, seemingly very keen on making this point particularly clear. "Please don't blame Dean for any of this, okay? He's just being an amazing friend. I just … I just couldn't go to this wedding alone, I just couldn't, with Ethan and that beautiful girlfriend-soon-to-be-fiancée being here. It would've been torture, on so many different levels, and I –" She swallows audibly. "I'm not cut out for this. So I asked Dean to play my boyfriend."
Castiel freezes.
Play … her boyfriend?
What is she implying here?
"What –?" He quirks his head to one side and squints at her in confusion.
Jo runs her fingers through her hair. "It's not real, you know?" she says with emphasis. "We're only pretending. Dean and I, we are not a couple. We never were and we never will be."
Castiel feels a bit like his brain short-circuited.
At least it seems as though some synapses up there are unable to connect with each other, leaving Castiel's mind absolutely blank.
Because what Jo is saying here – it can't be true!
Right?
"You …" Castiel's tongue feels heavier than ever before in his life. "Are you …?"
"It's a lie, Cas," Jo repeats. "A lie that I created. And Dean is the most amazing friend for backing me up. Admittedly, rather reluctantly, that's for sure, but he didn't want to see me get hurt. And believe me, Ethan would've found several ways if I'd have shown up here single and unattached." She grits her teeth. "He's an asshole like that."
Castiel merely stares at her, for countless moments, trying desperately to wrap his head around her words.
Eventually he comes up with, "This can't be right."
Jo lifts a brow. "What?"
"Dean … he told Ethan that he loves you," Castiel presses, though it hurts to even voice. "That he wants to marry you and have more children. And he wasn't lying, I know that."
He seriously wasn't.
The conviction in Dean's tone – you can't fake that.
Jo, meanwhile, seems a little bewildered at first, but eventually a smile forms on her lips. "He did say that, huh?"
Castiel nods fiercely. "He did."
Jo's expression turns soft. "And did he mention my name? When he talked about getting married with kids and a white picket fence?"
Castiel pauses at that, startled by the question. "Um …"
What did Dean say again?
"And one day I wanna get married. I wanna have more kids …"
Technically he didn't mention Jo's name in particular. But they had been talking about her before and there is no other conclusion than –
"I bet he didn't," Jo interjects his train of thoughts. "Say my name, that is. Because he doesn't want to marry me, trust me. We're like siblings and though we love each other, we don't feel it that way, y'know?"
Castiel blinks. "But –"
"Dean wants to get married someday, yes," Jo agrees. "He's always playing the tough and grumpy guy, but damn, he wants the apple pie life so bad. So of course he'd like to get married and have more kids since he adores his sweet princess so much and can you imagine a few more little Emmas walking around?" She smiles at the thought. "When he told Ethan, he wasn't lying. He wants all of that. But certainly not with me."
Castiel bites his lips and fights back the hope building up inside of him.
This can't be true, right?
"Maybe he likes the general idea or maybe he already has someone in mind," Jo says, winking at him like she knows something he doesn't, "it doesn't change the fact that Dean is the best guy in the world and I think he's really gone on you. I mean, I haven't seen him act like that ever and I know him since the dawn of time."
The hope inside of Castiel is getting stronger and stronger.
"So you're saying …?"
Jo takes his hand and smiles brightly at him. "That you're a lucky guy, Cas."
Castiel doesn't know what to say to this.
At this point it seems that he doesn't know anything at all.
"How about we get our moves on?" Jo suggests. "After all, there is a wedding we kinda have to attend. And you have a handsome boy waiting for you."
Castiel flushes at that.
So maybe it is true?
Perhaps he's seriously fortunate for a change?
What are the odds?