Tony never told me what the doctors had told him back at the tower, but after his odd behavior and the questions he was asking me, I was too afraid to ask him. Pepper had a great sense of style, she decorated "my" room for me and picked me out a wardrobe while she was at it.
As Tony got me comfortable in my room, where I would spend the rest of my healing time at, he looked me dead in the eyes and I knew a serious conversation was coming. "Ruby, listen, this will be your room- no matter what it will always be here for you-, but, if you're not comfortable staying here, you don't have to. You'll always have your room at the tower if that's what you would prefer-" He started.
"Tony,-" I interrupted, but he was quick to silence me with his hand, "No, let me finish, this is important." He quickly said.
"No-" I started, but he quickly silenced me again with his hand.
"I don't want you to think I will in any way be upset-" He started again.
"Dad," I said, and this time he stopped altogether, and his hand fell slightly, "I want to stay here. I want this to be my home, here, with you and Pepper."
"You do?" He asked, sounding shocked.
"Yes. As long as you are both okay with it." I said.
"Of course we are." He said, his voice sounding breathless, and he quickly cleared his throat, "Really, we are more than happy to have you here with us." He said and kissed my forehead as he pushed back the tears that glazed his eyes. "Well, you need to rest." He said as he got up and went to the doorway, wiping his eyes, trying to prevent me from seeing the tears that slid down his cheeks.
"But-" I quickly said, my heart pounding hard, so hard I could feel it in my hands, and he quickly turned back around, his eyes alert- waiting for me to crush him, "Could I still come with you to the Tower sometimes maybe?"
He raised his brow at me, "Why?" He inquired.
"My brain quickly scrambled for a reason, "I want to train." I said, the words spilling out faster then my brain could process them.
"To train? Why?" He quickly asked as he gently leaned against the doorway "Is this about what happened?" His voice was more hushed now, "Ruby, I will make sure no one ever hurts you."
"You can't always be there, Tony. Which is okay. I want to be able to handle myself. Besides, I like your team, I like Thor and Bruce and Clint-"
"And Peter?" Tony asked, both brows now raised.
I felt my whole face get hot and blotchy with red spots, "Peter? Yeah, I guess Peters nice too." I said as I shrugged slightly.
"Uh huh, well, I can try and see what I can do, but I doubt there will be an issue with you coming around and training." He said and turned to leave again.
"Hey, Tony, does Natasha have, like, a power?" I asked, still trying to sound nonchalant.
"A… Power?" He asked confused.
"Yeah, Thor's a God, Bruce is the Hulk, Clint does the bow thing, Peter shoots webs, you have your super cool suit, what does Natasha have?" I asked.
"Uhhh… Her fists? She's a spy, crazy good training."
"Oh, that's what I thought."
"Why?" He inquired again.
"No reason, just curious." I quickly said.
"I'm sure... " He said, "Any more 'just curious' questions?"
"No, not right now I don't think." I said as I slid into my bed.
"Alright," He said and pushed away from the door, "sleep well then."
"You too." I replied. I slid the rest of the way down into my bed and laid my head down onto the pillow. I couldn't deny the exhaustion that riddled my body, but as I drifted to sleep, the nightmares started.
I woke up around 2 in the morning, my own screams jolting me awake. Tony's hands were like ice as they met my face, him gently taking my cheeks into his palms. I hadn't even had time to comprehend where I was, let alone that he was in the room. "Ruby, you're alright, you're safe. Tony's voice was soft, gentle.
I touched his left hand that held my right cheek. I let out the breath that I had been holding in for so long it was causing my lungs to burn, and the instantly felt relief as I did, but the air burned my throat like crazy. "I'm okay." I said my voice shaking and hoarse.
"Was it about being attacked? Ruby, I promise he is locked up, he won't get out for a long time- and I would never let him hurt you again." Tony quickly said.
"No, it wasn't about being attacked by him." My mouth was moving faster than my brain could process. Truthfully, I wasn't even really afraid of him, but to have to explain what I was afraid of was something I wasn't up for.
Tony's face turned from concern to confusion, "Then what is it, Ruby?" He asked.
I didn't think I had it in me to say a few more words, let alone the whole explanation of what I was afraid of. I could feel my eyes rolling back into my head as my body relaxed. "Sleep, please." I begged.
He scooped me up into his arms, holding me tightly to his chest, "Fine, but you don't have to do it alone this time." He whispered as he took me to the couch. He laid me across his lap then covered me up. "I promise, you don't have to do this alone tonight. I won't leave you."
"Thanks." I said sleepily. It was the first time I had really felt safe in a long time.
This time there were no terrifying nightmares- in fact there were no dreams at all. My body was stiff as I woke up, my muscles incredibly sore. Tony still slept underneath my head. I pushed myself forward, trying to clear my foggy thoughts.
A shower. I needed a shower. It would help me clear my head. I went to my room and picked out and outfit, I looked at the alarm clock that sat on the stand beside my bed- only 6:26 A.M. I sighed- knowing I would regret being up so early after the late and rough night I had had.
"Towels, where are the towels." I said aloud to myself.
"You can find towels under the sink in the guest bathroom" Jarvis chimed in to answer my question, making me jump.
"Uh, thank you." I said.
I made my way to the bathroom and then turned the shower on as hot as it would go. As I stepped into the shower, steam poured out around me. My muscles loved the heat, they immediately began to relax. I slid down the wall until my butt hit the floor of the shower and then stretched my legs out as far as I could get them to go, my joints in my knees and hips popping. I leaned my head back against the wall and just let the heat consume my body. I used this time to reflect on what Tony was asking me and how to answer him.
He wanted to know about the only man I had ever seen my mom with. He claimed to be a scientist of sorts, in Brazil for research. He treated my mom so well despite the fact she had me. For the first few months he took care of us- my mom could focus on me, being a mom, and keeping the house clean and cooking, all of the things women were expected to do in my culture, but then something in him changed. He hurt my mom, he beat her and wouldn't let us leave our home, I decided to stand up to him one night, and then he turned his attention onto me.
"Ruby?" Tony's voice brought me from my thoughts.
"Yeah, I'm in here. In the shower." I said as I sat forward a bit to hear him better.
"Are you alright?" His voice was filled with concern, but it was laced with exhaustion, he had barely slept through the night, and when he did sleep, it wasn't a good sleep.
"Yeah dad, I'm fine." I said.
"Alright… I love you, Ruby. If you want to talk I am always here, but I won't force you to talk about anything."
Silence filled the space between us. I didn't know what to say to that. I heard him begin to walk away, so I just said the first thing that came to mind, "I love you too, dad." I heard him step back to the door, "I promise, when I am ready, I'll come to you."
"Good, then I will leave you to your shower."
"Wait, Tony, I'm almost finished. I need to ask you a question." I quickly said.
"Sure, we can talk in your room. There are some cleaning people here now, it'll be more private there." Tony said, his voice shaking slightly.
"Alright." I replied, trying not to have my voice shaking as well.
I finished my shower, quickly dried off and threw on my clothes- designer skinny jeans and a t-shirt from designers I had never heard of- and then I quickly combed through my hair and brushed my teeth, then walked slowly to my room trying to sort through my thoughts. Tony sat on the edge of my bed, twiddling his thumbs, looking nervous as all get out.
"Hey!" He said as I entered the room, "You're all finished with your shower." I could feel the fear radiating off of him. This was new territory for him just like it was for me, but even him being a superhero couldn't help him mask it.
"Yeah, it was a good shower. Really needed it." I said as I sat down next to him, my stomach suddenly in knotts.
Silence fell between us. "Ruby…" Tony finally spoke up trying to cut through the awkwardness, "Whatever you have to ask, you can ask." He said. I knew what he meant, he meant no matter what I had to ask or what I had to say he wouldn't be mad.
"Alright…" I started, cleared my throat, and then sucked in a large breath of air, "What did the doctors tell you? Is there something wrong with me?" I asked.
"Ruby, for starters, I cannot express this enough, there is nothing wrong with you." Tony quickly said, his words spilling out almost faster than even his mouth could keep up with- as if he had somehow rehearsed this.
"Then what did the doctors say, Tony?" I wasn't going to drop this, I could feel that there was something off here.
Silence fell between us again- but this time it was more of a tense silence. I didn't understand, I had a right to know if something was wrong, right? "Listen, Ruby," Tony started.
"You have swelling across your brain- across the frontal and temporal lobes, including your hippocampus, which is the part of the brain that is responsible for memories." Pepper suddenly chimed in, grabbing our attention, "We didn't want to worry you or have you straining yourself trying to remember every detail of your life fearing you may have forgotten something. If it was major, we hoped you would come to us. Tony still isn't processing that well and is unsure of how to put it to you if it has lasting effects, but I thought we should have been upfront from the beginning- we can work through it if there are lasting effects." She sucked in a deep breath then looked at us for a moment, "and I am sorry for eavesdropping, it wasn't intentional, I was just looking for your dad." Pepper said and gave us both a blazing smile.
"That's it?" I asked and looked back at Tony.
"What else would it be?" Tony quickly asked, almost too quickly again, as if there would be something he was expecting me to add.
"I don't know, cancer or something super scary like that." I said with a shrug, "I don't have any memory loss that I am aware of, just in case you guys were concerned with that."
"Good!" Tony exclaimed, but I couldn't help but feel that it wasn't true excitement, that there was something that wasn't being said still.
"Tony, I'm so sorry, but I really need to pull you away." Pepper said as she fidgeted in the doorway nervously, and I could hear the urgency in her words.
"Of course dear." Tony's reply was laced with confusion, "Ruby, if you go to the kitchen, it's right out to the left, a chef will make you some breakfast. We are going to go to my office, which is to the right, and down the stairwell on the right hand side."
I nodded and followed Tony from my room. He and Pepper went right towards his office, and I went left to the kitchen.