Hey Guys,

As I said I've planned the whole plot through and through from the start.

This is how the story goes.

There will be at least 11 more chapters.

Have fun!

SquaMata

.

.

.

41. Showers of Truth

.

.

It was getting really late or early depending on how you see it. A certain silver-haired ninja walked back to the tower with slow steps. He was tired. As he looked up to the sky he noticed it had already begun to lighten up.

A few hours of sleep will do.

Kakashi returned home alone, in his anteroom he took off his shoes and flak jacket and walked straight into his bathroom to take a quick shower. He had never been fond of the clingy smell of bars, for him it felt like his whole body was sticky and smelly with alcohol, smoke and other gluey substances he wouldn't even want to think about.

As he had folded his clothes over the chair and stepped into the shower he noticed a single pink hair on the faucet and the small, round bar of soap which must had been the one he had left for her to use. The jounin smiled, she had used his shower indeed after the strange genjutsu and he highly doubted she had left his housing. After the soothing spray he walked out into the anteroom clad in a towel to get some fresh clothes just in case he was right. He put on a tank-top with a mask and a pair of loose-fit boxers.

.

As he stepped into his bedroom his assumption got confirmed, she was still there sleeping peacefully in his bed. Tired as he was, he just shrugged, threw the pug out of his bed and joined her.

At least my sheets are warm.

Of course he would never admit how calming her presence was, but the intelligent ninken noticed how careful the great copy-nin had moved into the bed to not wake her up, how affectionate he had pulled the comforter over them both, how smooth he had laid his body close to hers and how tender he put one of his wide-feared lethal hands on hers and how the sleeping beauty had intertwined their fingers in a subconscious reaction.

His sleeping beauty.

Pakkun had never seen him acting like that and he knew the silverhead since he was a child. The pug snuggled into the rug. It didn't matter anymore that he got kicked out of his former sleeping place, he just felt happy for his boss.

.

.

Something tickled his eyelids and he woke him up. Slowly he cracked an eye open as sunbeams weaved through pink. Kakashi smiled under his mask and careful stroked away the strand of hair that managed to reach his face from the sleeping woman on his chest. Despite his huge fear of near and his commitment phobia he felt content. It felt like home.

He knew it was wrong. The kazekage's woman was lying in his bed. As he chuckled inwardly over his damn feelings and their unchangeable situation, he noticed her position eventually. Her head was resting on his chest, one hand was tucked under his sleeveless shirt touching his naked torso. Sakura's leg was sprawled over him and her naked thigh touched his full morning glory, only separated by a thin layer of his cotton boxers.

His eyes turned wide. It had never gotten that far. The strong former elite-nin was on the brink of insanity. Usually if a woman had somehow managed to drift off in his bed afterwards, he would wake her up and kick her out or maybe start something more pleasurable, but this was Sakura!

.

My former student! My teammate! My part of the mission! The woman I have to protect, to support and… and not to sleep with!

The woman of the current kazekage!

The woman I desire! The woman I couldn't have and never will! The woman who stole my…

Woooaaahhh where did that come from? NO!

Shocked by his own thoughts he poofed into his bathroom to have a loooong cold shower.

.

Due to the sudden loss of her recently achieved cushion the sleepy pinkette woke up. She popped her junctions and sneaked out to get prepared for the day in her own room. Sakura felt never that good and well-rested before in weeks.

.

Again she didn't notice the creepy sand eye watching her leaving Kakashi's room in the morning again.

.

She is wearing his clothes…

.

.

.

The young kazekage needed some time to think.

For five days he avoided her, his family and the others.

Temari said that was no unusual behaviour if something bothered him or when he was knee-deep drawn into work. Only Sakura knew there was something wrong, but she decided to act like nothing was out of the ordinary. She gave her courses, helped at the hospital and trained with the others like everything was alright. Inside she was afraid of what would happen next, the last encounter with the monster inside of him cut her deeper than she had thought at first. She was glad for a small break, she had time to think and tried to deal with the last incident.

To be honest she was more than glad to have a renowned ninja legend by her side to make her feel safe.

Her cruel nightmares had come back, the old ones mixed with more recent events and as she had dreamed of Shukaku making her watch him killing Kakashi, she had had enough. The young kunoichi had woken up crying deeply, as a strong hand had caressed her cheek and another had pulled her close to a warm body. The copy-nin had kept his promise, he was there for her whenever she needed him. He had sneaked into her room as he had heard her terribly frightened screams.

As it turned out the haunting nightmares would only stop when he was near. It was their secret that they had begun to spend their nights together. They didn't do anything, they were just lying in bed together and sleeping peacefully in their comforting near. Nobody would suspect a thing.

Only Kankuro found it strange that his wingman wound down their night-outs, but he thought he would maybe had enough for some time or the lone wolf had secretly found a woman.

.

.

After a full week without a sign of the redhead Sakura found an envelope waiting for her on the desk of her hospital office. Her name was written on it and it had a red wax seal on the back. Inside was a small note written by none other than the kazekage himself.

.

We should talk.

Come to my office as soon as you can.

Gaara

.

With shaky fingers she put down the letter and took a seat. Her head was spinning. What would this be all about? The strong kunoichi had the feeling she wouldn't like what they would have to discuss. She wanted to talk with Kakashi first, but he had left the village early in the morning with Kankuro to pick up an important traitor at the border to rain country in exchange of a bounty. They would not return before sunset.

.

What should I do now?

Just go and talk with him. It can't be that bad.

Shukaku…

Calm down, he just wants to talk.

.

Sakura took some long breaths and tried to relax her chakra flow.

Ready?

Yes.

.

.

Sakura knocked at the huge wooden door to the kazekage's office.

"Come in!"

The village leader sat straight behind his desk and gave her a stern look. She closed the door and approached him.

"Take a seat." He pointed at the chairs in front of his desk. The redhead looked very distant, he didn't stand up or greet her with the usual kiss like he had used to do whenever they had been alone.

S: So ice-cold… It must be something bad…

.

"Sakura, I've ordered you here to talk. I think there are some things we need to discuss."

The pinkette hesitated a moment to meet his sharp look. "Okay."

.

"Well, I have heard you are close to your sensei." He stated expressionless.

S: Shit! Shit! Shit!

"He isn't my sensei anymore."

S: Keep your horses! Listen what he is about to say!

.

Gaara gave her an all too well knowing grin mixed with anger and maybe hurt?

"I have heard you are very close."

S:Shit!

S:Think rational!

"We know each other for a long while and have developed a friendship over the years, yes."

.

"I've seen you leaving his room." His eyes bore intruding into hers.

S:Don't panic!

"As I said we're friends."

.

"Friendship..." He chuckled unbelievingly before he continued in a biting voice "I've seen you leaving his room… in the early morning."

S:Breathe!

"We had to discuss something."

S:Please take the bait.

.

"Really? Then tell me why you were wearing his clothes." Gaara's tone was very demanding now.

She averted her eyes. Hiding and denial was over.

.

"It's not what you think. We didn't do anything."

"Aha." Obviously the young man wasn't believing her a single word.

.

"It was just for comfort. I had nightmares."

"Ah, sure. Your nightmares. Is that a reason to sleep with your sensei?" Still an ice-cold voice with no hints of any facial expression.

.

"I did not! It's not what you think! I was just… dammit… I was just sleeping next to him. I knew you wouldn't understand."

"I understand it pretty well, instead of seeking out your boyfriend you go and throw yourself into the arms of another man."

.

"I did not! Gaara! …. He was just there and comforted me after… after…"

"Enough." The kazekage slammed a hand onto the tabletop.

.

Teary, fearful emerald eyes looked for what he would do next.

.

"Do you really think I'm that clueless?" He stood up and walked over to the alerted girl.

His whole body language changed from offensive to caring and excusing."I know what happened wasn't right and I'm deeply sorry for that, Sakura. I failed you, I promised to never hurt you. I'm sorry."

"There is something you should have known from the start, Sakura. It's not easy for me to talk about that and I need your confirmation that you are going to keep that to yourself. You're not allowed to ever speak about what I'm going to tell you."

He ruffled the back of his head and whispered sadly chuckling "No-one would believe you anyway."

.

"I ensure you to keep it a secret between you and me." Honest green eyes found his turquoise.

"First I should tell you that I knew it from the start. Your mission failed, Sakura."

.

Her eyes went wide.

"Being in my position has advantages and disadvantages. Starting a relationship as the kazekage could never be as easy as we did. I knew there was another reason behind your stay. They try to marry me off since I've become kazekage. I'm not stupid."

"I know…"

.

"I've always been sure my siblings, especially Temari would try something like that. Even though I knew it all the time, I was willing to try it. My siblings know me well and I thought it could work."

"It could still work, Gaara!"

.

The young man went back to his side of the desk, but instead of sitting down again he leaned on his hands on the table-top towering over the small woman in front of the large wooden furniture. Obviously he wanted to increase her feelings of being tiny, guilty and caught.

He chuckled warningly. "It won't work, Sakura. Do you really think you're able to fulfil my wishes?"

She looked so hurt, he had hit her on a raw nerve.

.

"I think it's time to be honest. I know I can trust you, Sakura. It's hard to admit but…

"I'm not the right person for you? I'm not worthy enough?" tears ran down her face. "I can't do this anymore, Gaara. I can't."

.

"No, Sakura, don't get me wrong. I'm glad you came here, Suna has a new med school and you've taught them a lot. You've taught me a lot! But I think it's not what you want. Listen to your heart and be honest. And…" He took a pause to choose his next words wisely. "Ehrm, it's not what I want either. My inner demon is fighting hard against this kind of life. I'm different, Sakura."

"What do you mean?"

.

"I'm… Shukaku is… Ehrm, it's hard to say, but I can't do that anymore. I'm hiding my true identity. I'm fooling myself and Shukaku for a long time now, that's why he's so angry and uncontrollable."

G: Also you are fooling yourself, Sakura. But it's not my job to tell you so, you need to figure that out yourself.

"Just spill it…" She still sobbed.

.

"I really tried, Sakura! But we prefer other… things." He sighed before he continued. "This words will never leave this room! Are we clear?"

"Yes."

.

"I've never told that anybody, but sometimes I need to be the one to get dominated and I know per experience that you can't do that. Also in our fantasies, Shukaku and my fantasies, we're… we're doing these things with…" Gaara averted his eyes.

"We are doing these things with another man." He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and smiled happily. "I finally confessed."

.

"Wow." The pinkette needed a moment to recapitulate. "I've never expected that!" Then she returned his smile "But we did? How did you? How could you?"

"Fantasies in my head and fooling myself I guess." Exactly what you did all the time.

.

"Have you ever been with a man?"

"Yes, but nobody else knows, so please keep that a secret. Don't get me wrong, I like both, but Shukaku prefers men. Do you remember the incident I told you of?"

"Of course."

.

"I haven't told you the whole truth. The professional was a special person, not a woman and not a man if you understand. We had many secret sessions together. Shukaku and I had all we wanted, but as I asked her to switch roles she started to laugh and making fun of me. The moment she called me a perverted gay and said she would press me for money she had signed her own death warrant. Shukaku took over and… You know the rest of the story."

"Oh my God…"

.

He sighed and after a while of silence he continued with a sad smile "You're a wonderful woman, Sakura. You saved me! You helped me a lot to find my true self. I'm so sorry I fooled you."

Sakura felt the heavy weight from her chest explode into a thousand pieces.

"I've never wanted to hurt you. Shukaku and I need to find a way to live together in peace. I hope you understand why we should quit our sexual relationship. Thank goodness nothing has been made official until now. "

.

"There are rumours."

"Whenever people are involved there are rumours."

.

"Gaara, the council saw me leaving your apartment. I was obviously wearing your clothes!" She hid her face in embarrassment for a moment, but his laughter was too contagious.

"Yeah, that was a good one!"

After they had laughed the tension away they both felt better.

.

The redhead shrugged "Let them talk. Their unmarried kazekage could do with a fling, it makes him more human you know." He winked at her.

Sakura nodded and chuckled. "I guess you're right."

.

"Sakura, give me your hand."

"What?"

.

"He wants to talk with you."

The pinkette hesitated, but the reassuring eyes of the kazekage calmed her down and so she put her hand in his.

"Close your eyes."

.

Sakura could hear the demon now. "I won't harm you, pretty. I just want to talk with you. Gaara likes you, but he likes you too much to let you be in our near any longer. It would mean a life in constant danger. You deserve so much better.

I've told you before you can't give me what I want and Gaara knows that too. I'm sorry, we both had tried hard. It has nothing to do with you personally, but we both need a dominant male, Sakura."

"But Gaara said he is bisexual?"

.

"A woman occasionally would be fine by me too, but believe me, he needs a strong man by his side."

Sakura smiled "Yeah, why not?"

.

"It could be a problem for the council and the conservative views of the elder generations."

The pinkette remembered what Temari had told her. "I understand."

.

"There's another thing, Sakura. I was only that angry because stubborn Gaara had tried to deny our true self and I've noticed that you are in denial too."

"What do you mean?"

.

"Your heart belongs to another man."

.

With wide eyes she retreated her hand. It was too much for one moment.

Is it that obvious?

.

After a few minutes she had calmed down enough to check the chakra of Shukaku. The demon was very calm, although he seemed to be stronger and bigger. He told her the constant denial suppressed him, shredded him into tiny pieces long ago and that's probably the case why Akatsuki couldn't extract his full chakra. Now he was able to unfold and interact with Gaara in positive ways. Shukaku promised her to not harm anyone, only if Gaara wished so or in case of emergency he would lend him all his powers to protect the village. He bade her to greet Naruto and Kurama and asked what he did in those days. She told him he had married a clan heir some months ago.

"That's a pity!"

"Some things are not meant to be!"

They laughed for a while and then Sakura went back to her room.

.

On her way she bumped into Temari who grabbed the protesting kunoichi and dragged her to the next spa. The blonde needed a girl's day and the pinkette had no other plans for the day anyway.

.

.

Relaxing in the hot spring Sakura recapitulated her new findings.

The scientist in her thought about Shukaku's theory why there were so many tiny pieces of him left. The remains were good in general, she couldn't say if only the gay parts of the demon had been left inside Gaara or if the whole demon was gay. She added the hypothesis that the inner struggle of the teenage boy had been a trigger, therefore those parts had adhered the most to Gaara's soul and had not been extractable for the Akatsuki.

The pinkette looked at the blonde sitting next to her. She would probably jump in happiness if she would knew what Sakura had been told today!

Gaara had assured her that Temari would be able to be officially together with Shikamaru soon. He would take care on that personally and the young kazekage would declare it a special bond of alliance between Suna and Konoha. They had decided to keep it a secret and Gaara would surprise the young couple with the official announcement.

The medic-nin chuckled silently. They had also agreed if they would be both single in the future and need some time to unwind, they could have an occasional session together. They would stay dear friends who could talk about everything. The pinkette was his closest friend now and she would be his personal medic further on. Every now and then she would have to visit him and take a look after the demon.

Sakura was happy.

She had learned a lot about herself during that mission. She couldn't deny it any longer, she had a thing for Kakashi. But the best thing was that she felt free, every heartache from her past was gone. The kunoichi knew now exactly what she wanted, or better said whom and she highly doubted he wouldn't want the same.

.

After a day in the spa Sakura went into her room and lay down on the floor. All the heavy weight from her soul was gone.

They would have a chance now, they could really have a future together.