Dear friends: Thank you for the wonderful responses to the previous chapters of this story. I hope you will continue to enjoy it. Your comments are always eagerly anticipated and appreciated a lot.
x
348 BC, late spring
Mazaeus spent almost the whole day with Artaxerxes and other satraps and generals discussing the matters of the Empire. He thought to send a word to Hephaistion to reassure the boy that he was safe but he still struggled with the fact that he put his life and wellbeing of his whole family at the mercy of the king for the sake of the boy who shouldn't have meant anything to him. He couldn't explain his decision and now, when the danger was hopefully over, he wanted to punish the boy who made him behave in such an irrational manner.
"Let him sweat a little and tremble in fear of what may happen to him, let him realize how completely he is dependable on my good will and that he is my slave in all but name," Mazaeus fumed projecting his anger with himself onto the boy.
Evening came and Mazaeus at last returned to his quarters. Dismissing his servants for the time being, he went alone to the bedroom. The satrap expected Hephaistion to rash to him and assault with eager questions; instead the boy, recognizing that the intruder was none the other that the master of the house, put his writing materials aside and, looking with expectation, quietly asked, "Did you bring any news about my father?"
Mazaeus pursed his lips trying to hide the disappointment. What did he expect? This wasn't his son who would run to him glowing with joy in the anticipation of time that the two of them were going to spend together, this was some stranger that Mazaeus stupidly risked his life for.
"Your father is dead," drily said Mazaeus and turned away from the boy distracting himself with an absolutely unnecessary task of removing the rings from his fingers.
He heard a low gasp and then there was silence. Feeling an uninvited twinges of guilt, Mazaeus turned around and looked at the boy. Hephaistion hung his head and put his hands around himself in a futile attempt to separate himself from the rest of the world. He sat like that for some time, immovable and though his thoughts run in so many directions, he refused betray his feelings to the world. Concerned, and now ashamed of his mean behaviour, Mazaeus came closer. There was only one proper chair in the bedroom and it was occupied by Hephaistion who, at the time of Mazaeus return, practiced writing new words in Persian. Mazaeus took one of the low tables, cleared it from the objects that were on its surface and moved it closer to Hephaistion. He sat on the table, legs crossed and tried to make Hephaistion to raise his head.
"Look at me," the satrap told gently.
Hephaistion only shook his head and tried to move away from Mazaeus.
"I am very sorry," said the satrap, "it happened before I came to visit the Great King, yesterday evening, I think. There was nothing I could do. I wish I was the bearer of better news but I don't want to lie to you." Not seeing or hearing any response from Hephaistion, Mazaeus continued, "But at least you're safe. Your father would be very glad about it. He was a clever man and he made a wise decision when he sent you to me. The king said I can keep you, he won't send anybody to take you to his or anybody else's Harem, you won't be made into a eunuch."
The boy remained silent. Concerned, Mazaeus reached forward and tried to untangle Hephaistion's hands.
"Go away," whispered Hephaistion fighting to avoid being touched by Mazaeus.
"I won't hurt you, you know that," insisted Mazaeus, "and now, that I saved you, it would be silly of me to simply discard you. All the risk that I took would be for nothing. It doesn't make sense."
"So, what are you going to do with me?" quietly asked Hephaistion without raising his head.
"I don't know yet," admitted Mazaeus. "You will stay with me for some time, and when somebody comes for a visit, you would serve me and behave as if you really was my…. well, as if you're sharing my bed. This is just to avoid suspicions. I have many rivals and they would gladly use any opportunity to damage my reputation with the king.
"What happened to my father? Why did your king kill him?"
"I don't really know," Mazaeus didn't want to upset the boy further telling him the real reason for Amyntor's heartless execution.
"You are lying!" Hephaistion's head shot up and he stared at Mazaeus with rebuke though there was no hatred in his eyes.
Mazaeus chewed on his lips and asked, "Why you don't believe me?"
"Because you're close friend of the king! How do you know my father is dead? It is your king who told you so, isn't it?"
"Yes, I know it from Artaxerxes himself, otherwise I wouldn't believe mere rumors unless I saw your father's body, and I didn't. However, the Great King has faithful subjects, and I am very proud of being considered one, but friends, friends are for regular people, kings don't have friends."
"Was my father your friend?"
"No."
"Then, why did you save me?"
"As I said, I don't really know, nor do I understand it. Maybe one day the Great Ahuramazda will reveal the reason."
"Are you saying that your God commanded you to save me?"
"No, I am not saying it, I am just saying, well…. I am not really sure."
"What happened…to my father's body?" asked Hephaistion with a pain in his eyes.
"I don't know."
"What do you know?" angrily demanded Hephaistion.
Mazaeus sighed letting the boy to talk to him in a manner he would not tolerate from anybody else, not even from his own sons.
"Your father is dead. Artaxerxes allowed me to keep you, as my sex slave, mind you. The Great King leaves for Persepolis in a few days, and I am going to stay in this area for some time to impose the punishment to the city of Sidon and all those who dared to rebel against the Great King. Then I will return to govern my own province, it is to the north of here. And I have to figure out what to do with you. I don't intend to keep you with me for too long."
"Why?"
"Do you want me to?"
"No," quickly said Hephaistion and turned his head away trying to hide his embarrassment at the thought that Mazaeus would think he actually wanted.
An uncomfortable silence hung in the room. All Hephaistion wanted was to cry and lament his father's death but he didn't want to do it in front of Mazaeus. The satrap, in turn, wasn't quite sure what to do next. Some deep instinct inside him wanted to console Hephaistion in an almost fatherly manner and assure the boy that he would not allow anything bad happen to him but on the other hand, he didn't want to develop even further attachment towards his new charge.
"Are you hungry?" asked Mazaeus at last judging that the neutral topic will distract the boy from sad thoughts.
Hephaistion silently shook his head in negative motion. "Well, then, maybe it is time for you to go to sleep," suggested Mazaeus, standing up from his seat.
"Can I sleep in my own bed?" asked Hephaistion with hope.
Mazaeus knit his brows considering the situation.
"Nobody will come here," Hephaistion tried to persuade the satrap.
"Nobody is supposed to barge in here, you are right but you remember what happened yesterday?" Mazaeus reminded Hephaistion not wishing to share with the boy the fate of the eunuch who was too eager in his desire to serve his master and who was punished by death for his failure.
"But you said that Artaxerxes… gifted me to you, why would anybody…."
"Don't argue," insisted Mazaeus, "for everybody, even my own servants, you would remain my…. pleasure boy. And if anybody asks you about it, you're going to confirm. Now, if you have nothing else to do, go to the bed, my bed."
Not wishing to engage in further arguments and not entirely sure how exactly to behave, Mazaeus left his bedroom, and went to nearby section of the tent that he used as a cabinet.
He spent some time reading his correspondence and writing several personal letters. At some point, he was interrupted by Kamarta who came to inquire if his master needed anything.
"No, you're dismissed for today. Go have some rest, we're going to be very busy soon."
Kamarta bowed but was hesitant to leave.
"What is it?" asked Mazaeus.
"Ashina was asking for you. She heard about the boy, Hepha… tion, and got hugely upset. She is afraid you're going to discard her because of your new infatuation with the boy."
"And how does she know?" Mazaeus asked with irritation; he completely forgot about this current concubine whose company he actually quite enjoyed; so much so that he installed her in his own tent.
"Servants talk," Kamarta shrugged his shoulders, "besides, Sharan's late night intrusion to your bedroom yesterday is quite a talk, not only inside but also outside your tent. Rumor has it that Sharan is dead, on Great King's orders. Is it true, master?"
"Yes. What else people are talking about?"
"You know, the usual. How suddenly you took interest in that boy, you never were interested in boys."
"Tastes change. Now. Bring a few merchants to me tomorrow, I want to buy some nice clothes for Hephaistion… befitting his new position, jewelers too. Also, choose slaves to serve him, a few of his own age so he can play with them. And learn to pronounce his name properly. That's it for today."
Kamarta bowed and then asked, "What about Ashina?"
Mazaeus sighed in resignation, "I guess I have to go celibate for some time. But leave Ashina where she is, I will bring her with me to Sidon and then we'll see."
Kamarta left and Mazaeus continued to work on his correspondence. After some time he decided it was enough for today and he would retire. However, when he returned to his bedroom, he realized that Hephaistion disappeared.
First, Mazaeus couldn't believe that the boy vanished. He hoped that Hephaistion simply hid inside the bedroom. When the search proved fruitless, he shouted to his guards and servants. Immediately, the huge tent came alive with agitation, their master was angry with something and they better find the way to make their master happy. Kamarta run in, a slew of guards and slaves at his heels.
"What happened, Master?" asked the Chief Steward.
"Hephaistion disappeared, did anybody see him? No? Search the whole tent, I hope he is simply hiding inside. Bring the captain of my guards immediately." Mazaeus was frustrated and annoyed. It was the second night that Hephaistion managed to disrupt his routine. "I only have myself to blame for this stupidity," fumed Mazaeus pacing back and force in the antechamber that led to his bedroom.
"We'll find him, don't worry," Kamarta assured his lord.
Mazaeus seemed not to listen, "Did you see the boy?" he questioned his Captain when the man hurriedly appeared before him."
"I didn't see anybody leaving the tent and guards make regular patrols around the perimeter of the tent, I am sure your guest is inside."
However the extended search didn't bring any results. After almost an hour of fruitless search Mazaeus realized that he had to give an order to extend the search outside his tent. "I am going to be the butt of the jokes tomorrow," he thought sourly, "damn that ungrateful bastard!"
"Find him and bring him back to me," Mazaeus barked his order to the Captain of his guard and his Chief Steward. "Don't hurt him, though. I am going to teach him a lesson myself."
Hephaistion was found at the break of the dawn at the outskirts of the camp. He made the last desperate attempt to avoid his captors but of course he had no chance the moment he was spotted. He was roughed a little by the soldiers who were not too happy spending their night combing the camp for him but in the end they didn't dare to take their frustrations on the boy fearing the anger of their commander.
"You can punish me all you want!" defiantly declared Hephaistion when he was brought before Mazaeus.
"Why did you run away?" asked the satrap, "I thought we had an understanding."
"I don't want to be here! I don't want to be your slave! I don't want to sleep with you! I will run away again, you will see!" he shouted.
"What do you want then?" the satrap asked tiredly.
This was the question Hephaistion dreaded mostly. He didn't know. He didn't know what he wanted or what he was supposed to do. He turned and tossed in the evening in Mazaeus' bed and, failing to come up with any answer, he decided to run away, let the Moirai decide what was going to happen to him. He sneaked from the tent quite easily, nobody was actually looking for him and then made rounds in the vast territory of the camp in order to avoid sentries that guarded different parts of the camp. Trying to stay unnoticed actually helped Hephaistion to avoid all other thoughts. He didn't have a plan, he simply wanted to get away and then…. well, whatever will be, will be.
"Are you going to answer me or not?" asked Mazaeus after Hephaistion failed to respond to his question.
Amyntor's son turned his head away and remained silent.
"Very well," said Mazaeus, "you think about what you want to do and then tell me. I am very disappointed in you, though. And later today, I am going to teach you a lesson that I hope you won't forget soon. For now, I will tie you to this bed. Unlike you, I can't afford the luxury of sleeping during the day and have to attend to the king's business now. We'll talk later, after you learned your lesson and have time to think about your future behavior."
Mazaeus followed on his promise and, despite Hephaistion's resistance, tied the boy to the post of the bed. He left and moments later one the eunuchs appeared and lit several incense lamps here and there. Immediately, the air was filled with heavy fragrance and, though Hephaistion tried to fight the sudden assault of sleepiness, he was quite helpless to resist and soon drifted into the realm of dreams.
Hephaistion woke up late afternoon, his head somewhat heavy from the long sleep and pungent incense. His wrists and ankles felt sore and for a moment, Hephaistion couldn't figure out how this happened. Then, suddenly, he remembered the last night – Mazaeus' announcement about his father's death, his own brooding reaction to it and botched escape. Hephaistion slowly rubbed his right wrist, then the left. He wasn't tied any longer so he quickly slid from the bed and slowly walked over the soft carpet to the middle of the room. Unsure what to do, he suddenly realized that he had to empty his bladder and he went behind the curtain to the area where he knew he could relieve himself. When he came back, he found Kamarta and few other persons waiting for him.
"I see that you're awake at last," commented the Chief Steward.
"How long I was asleep?" asked Hephaistion.
"Long, ten hours or so," rather peacefully responded Kamarta. "The bath is going to be prepared for you, then you will eat and then accompany me to the place where you're going to spend the rest of the day."
"As my punishment?"
"Yes," confirmed Kamarta without going into further details and Hephaistion himself wasn't eager to insist.
"Stay here till I come for you," Kamarta ordered and disappeared behind the curtains. Two of the servants, who looked more like the guards, remained on the premises but didn't attempt to engage in any conversation.
Hephaistion stood in the middle not sure what to do. He went to one of the tables where he knew Mazaeus kept his maps but the attraction was lost. What he was going to do now? Should he submit himself to Mazaeus' will? After all, his father wanted so and satrap did save him from a very unpleasant future. He was alone, in a foreign country, no friends, and no relatives. Nobody would care what happens to him, whether he lives or die. "Oh, father," sighed Hephaistion and a lonely tear slowly rolled down his cheek, "why you had to come here? Couldn't we stay in Macedon even if King Philip was displeased with you?"
Another tear joined the first and then Hephaistion couldn't control himself. He sobbed pitifully, and giving in to the weakness in his knees, dropped to the floor.
"Hush now," Kamarta gently touched him on the shoulder. He was alerted to the boy's distress by one of the servants and returned to the bedroom. "The bath is almost ready, let me help me you, come."
Hephaistion didn't have strength to resist. He meekly followed the Chief Steward to the nearby section of the tent where bath was being prepared for him. Kamarta tried to engage Hephaistion in some idle conversation, but Amyntor's son just stared blankly at him.
"Well, I'll leave you alone for some time and will come back when you're ready," Chief Steward announced and left Hephaistion in the care of slaves. The hot water of the bath had a soothing effect and Hephaistion actually enjoyed the light massage that one of the attendants was giving to his head. Hephaistion wasn't used to this sort of pampering and he started to appreciate the way he was treated. After bath he was helped into the new clothes and soft leather shoes and then taken to the small area where the table with all sorts of delicious food was laid ready for him. He started to sample different dishes quite enjoying the taste of many of them. Not that he was ever starved or given the low quality food but there was something relaxing and enticing in the way he was being treated.
Then other servants came and started entertain Hephaistion with lovely music, games and funny pantomimes. Time flew fast and Hephaistion wasn't sure how much time lapsed when Kamarta reappeared again bringing with him even more luxurious clothes and watching how Hephaistion's hair were being arranged into beautiful curls and decorated with expensive jewels.
"Follow me," ordered Kamarta and nodded towards the exit.
Hephaistion's heart sunk, what kind of punishment Mazaeus prepared for him? Soon he realized that the Chief Steward was taking him outside. A richly decorated palanquin was waiting at the exit and Hephaistion, following Kamarta's prompt, stepped inside. The Chief Steward followed and shortly afterwards Hephaistion felt being lifted from the ground and carried forward.
"Where are we going?" asked Hephaistion trying to sound calm despite of his nervousness.
"You will discover soon," said Kamarta, his tone not inviting for further conversation.
Hephaistion started to panic, did Mazaeus change his mind and decided that after all he wasn't worth the trouble and sold him to the higher bidder? "If this is so, I'd rather kill myself than allow to be mutilated," he decided firmly and tried to concentrate on the fond memories of being together with his father. After some time the palanquin stopped, Kamarta went out first and then helped Hephaistion. They were at the entrance to a nondescript tent and Kamarta immediately went in nodding to Hephaistion to follow.
Son of Amyntor found himself in a small and rather dark room where a man whom he never saw before waited for them.
"Everything is ready, just as His Highness ordered," the man informed his guests and invited them further inside the tent. The three of them went through some hanging curtains and suddenly Hephaistion found himself in a rather big room, poorly lit except the farthest side of it. Several men thronged around the lit area and Hephaistion was pushed towards it. At his approach, the people stepped aside and to his horror Hephaistion realized that he was staring at some sort of a couch or low table with fastenings where legs and arms supposed to be if the person would lie on it. There was another table nearby with all sorts of medical instruments and bandages.
"What is it?" asked Hephaistion with fear not believing that his awful suspicions actually might be correct.
"This is the place where boys are castrated," clarified Kamarta sternly, "and these people are waiting to do their job."
"I would rather die," whispered Hephaistion. There was a long moment of silence and Hephaistion, despite his short bravado, felt the cold-fingered monsters of horror fettered his body with dread.
"There is no need for you to die," continued Kamarta unsympathetically, "come with me, you're going to choose."
"To choose what?"
"The boy that is going to be castrated today."
"What?" Hephaistion stared at Kamarta.
"You're going to choose the boy that will be castrated first and then you're going to watch him being castrated, that's your punishment."
"N-no, you can't do that to me," stammered Hephaistion.
"I can and I will, come," despite all the resistance that Amyntor's son was trying to offer, Kamarta dragged him to another room.
In a nearby chamber five boys were sitting on the straw pallets in a different stages of slumber.
"They are dragged so that they won't resist too much. It is a delicate procedure and physicians can't be distracted by the struggle. If they cut too much or too deep, the boys can die or be disfigured. So, which one? You can go ahead and take a closer look."
Hephaistion refused to budge, "you can't make me," he whispered."
"Don't you think lord Mazaeus thought about it? If you refuse to choose, these five boys will be killed and another five prepared for next day. Then you will be forced to choose again. This will be continued until you comply. Mazaeus is rich enough to buy a hundred of boys. Do you wish to choose today?"
"How can he be so cruel?" whispered Hephaistion.
"Don't fret too much," advised Kamarta, "these boys were bought to be castrated before your little escapade yesterday. It would have happened anyway. But you can make one boy special."
"Special how?"
"Mazaeus promised to make sure the boy will receive the best of education available for eunuchs so when he is sold to his future master, he will be a very valuable eunuch. Not every boy gets so lucky. You also may buy a present for him and deliver it personally when the boy recovers. So, who is it going to be?"
Hephaistion realized the hopelessness of the situation. He had not doubt that what Kamarta said hadn't been an empty threat. He resigned himself to the role and slowly moved forward to take a better look at the boys. Four of them were visibly older but one of the boys looked the same age as Hephaistion himself. The son of Amyntor made his choice but before announcing it to Kamarta, he asked, "Are they all going to be castrated?"
"Yes, all of them today, your boy will go first."
"Then that one," Hephaistion pointed to the youngest boy.
"Very well, come. He will be brought shortly."
"Please, don't make me watch," pleaded Hephaistion.
"Orders are orders."
"I swear on my father's memory, I won't attempt to run again."
"I hope so but you have to watch anyway or the deal for the boy's education is off."
Hephaistion realized it was futile to resist and with sunken heart he followed Kamarta. Soon afterwards, the boy was brought in. First, due to his befuddled state, he didn't realize what was going to happen. But as his legs and hands were being tied to the table, the boy started to resist, crying desperately in some unknown language. One of the attendants forced the boy's mouth open and made him drink from a small jar. The boy struggled for a while but then stopped fighting. Hephaistion closed his eyes, his whole body shaking at the horror of the situation. There was a blessed silence for some time and all Hephaistion could hear was the heavy breathing of the men in the room. Then there was an awful scream, then the wailing started and Hephaistion could hear the physicians mattering curses while trying to keep the boy still. When another soul wrenching shrill pierced the room, Hephaistion fainted.
Hephaistion woke up and stared for some moments at the unfamiliar hangings that decorated the top of the bed he was sleeping in. Suddenly, the horrible memories returned and he sharply sat up wildly looking around for any sign of continuing torture. But the awful vision was gone and instead he was greeted with a cheerful exclamation, "You are awake at last!"
"Who are you?" Hephaistion stared at the boy few years his younger who abandoned some game he was playing on the floor and came to the edge of the bed.
"I am Nur-ah, your new playmate, would you like to play with me?"
"Where am I?"
"This is your room, it is so big," the boy's eyes widen in delight. "Wait, I will call others."
"Others?" Hephaistion asked but the boy didn't listen, he disappeared from view and some moments later, two other boys his own age and another one some years older entered the room.
The oldest boy bowed and introduced himself, "I am Amarash, those two are Shahoon and Dergan, and you met Nur-ah already. We are your slaves, we are here to serve and entertain you. We are to accompany you everywhere, except lord Mazaeus' quarters, of course, we are not allowed there. What do you wish to do? Should we bring you some food? Do you want to go outside?"
"I didn't ask for slaves," said Hephaistion bleakly.
"It is lord Mazaeus' orders. If you are not happy with us, he will punish us. Please don't make lord Mazaeus angry."
Hephaistion's heart sunk. The satrap found the way to assure his compliance. It was cruel but effective and Hephaistion realized that he was trapped.
"Can we play marbles?" Nur-ah approached pleadingly looking at Hephaistion.
"All right," Hephaistion agreed hoping to distract himself from the unpleasant thoughts. "Then we'll eat together and you're going to tell me all about yourselves. Deal?"
"We are not allowed to eat with you but we'll bring whatever you wish and we'll serve you," politely pointed out Amarash and lowered his gaze in a gesture of submission.
"Very well but I don't want you to be hungry or you won't have strength to play with me."
"We are not hungry, Master," the boy who was introduced as Dergan was quick to point out.
"I hope you're telling the truth because if you lie, I will get angry," and just as Hephaistion said those words he realized that he unwittingly mimicked Mazaeus' own tactics. Nevertheless, his young slaves seemed to be keen on the idea of serving Hephaistion, especially Nur-ah who exhibited less fear in his behavior. Hours flew by and Hephaistion managed to forget for some time the awful experiences of his previous day. The idyll was broken by Kamarta who came in unexpectedly and ushered another man with him. The man bowed low to Hephaistion and waived his hands to somebody behind. Immediately, servants entered the premises carrying with them several chests and boxes of different sizes.
"Lord Mazaeus wishes to buy for you clothes you like, footwear and decorations. There are also some scrolls and knickknacks you may be interested in and you can chose a present for the boy of yesterday."
Hephaistion's good mood disappeared in a twinkling of an eye but his young slaves didn't notice that. They started to encourage him to go through things, to try new clothes, to check out games and jewels. Hephaistion started half-heartedly but soon he felt a heavy glance of Kamarta on himself and realized that he was supposed to display cheerfulness. Hephaistion's hatred towards Mazaeus for treating him this way returned but he made a huge effort to put it aside and pretended to enjoy the process. He started dutifully to go through all the merchandize and even went as far as to engage the merchant in the conversation about the wares he was selling. Hephaistion still had a rather limited knowledge of Persian language but the merchant luckily spoke some broken Greek and proved to be a good storyteller. At some point Kamarta left the chamber, he obviously had many far more important things to do than to supervise his master's charge.
In the end, Hephaistion put aside a few scrolls of Greek plays, set of board game that he wasn't familiar with, a beautifully decorated cloak, a few Persian style shirts and leather bracelet for a boy he was forced to choose for castration. The bracelet was made from a several strings of the skillfully interweaved soft leather in the various shades of brown with a few small gemstones of tiger's eye imbedded in the pattern.
"Good choice," approved the merchant thinking that Hephaistion was buying the bracelet for himself. "You can enlarge it later by adjusting these strings, if the bracelet becomes too small for you. Though I am sure that your generous master would shower you with more precious jewels if you only ask. Look at this coronet, it will fit beautifully onto your hair, or this chainlet for the ankle, your master would love to play with it, eh?" the merchant gave Hephaistion somewhat crooked smile.
"I don't need any other decorations, just this bracelet. You may leave now," Hephaistion temporally improved mood disappeared the moment he was reminded of the role everybody thought he played in Mazaeus' bedroom.
"I have enough entertainment for one day," said Hephaistion to his slaves, "I wish to spend some time alone. If anybody asks, you can tell them your company pleased me immensely today."
The merchant started obediently put his wares away and soon he was off, helped by Hephaistion's attendants to carry the boxes and chests. Hephaistion was left alone, with his presents and gloomy thoughts. His respite didn't last long, shortly after everybody left, Kamarta appeared again announcing that Mazaeus wished to talk to him.
"I know you're angry with me," without preliminaries started Mazaeus when Hephaistion joined him.
"Would you do the same to your own sons? Would you make them to choose and watch?" Hephaistion accused the satrap.
"To my sons? No," Coldly responded Mazaeus. "But it is not because they are my sons, it is because they would never disobey me in such a manner; besides, they are used to eunuchs, it is a way of life, they would never think about it as a cruelty."
"Whatever you say. Why did you call me?"
"Hephaistion, do you understand why I chose this punishment for you?"
"Because you could! Because you are an all-powerful satrap who enjoys the privilege of being invited to share a meal with your Great King! Because you're cruel, vindictive, heartless person! Because you think of me as your slave, as your toy, because…." Hephaistion, who started his accusations with indignant if somewhat vicious tone was now shouting in hatred, his eyes blurred by the tears he couldn't combat, his whole body shaking from the experiences of the last few days.
Mazaeus felt very sorry for the boy, he knew his punishment was really harsh but he felt it was necessary to teach his charge the realities of life. He stepped forward and lowering himself to Hephaistion's height, clasped him in a close hug, soothingly running his hands along the boy's back. He kissed the top of his head and whispered, keeping his voice low and compassionate, "I am really sorry I had to do this to you, Hephaistion, but I was scared that you'd try to run away again. I don't want anything bad happening to you. I care for you, as if you were my son, though I don't really know why. I want to keep you safe but I also want you to know the challenges you're facing. Please, can you forgive me and trust me?"
Hephaistion shivered in satrap's embrace but he didn't try to break loose. There was something comforting in Mazaeus' gesture and for a moment Hephaistion let himself imagine that it was his father who tried to console him for some loss. He freed his hands and tentatively put them around the satrap's neck trying to show his gratitude and acceptance. They stayed like that for some time, Hephaistion calming himself enough to feel comfortable to face the world again.
"I am sorry too," he quietly whispered and broke the embrace. "I won't run off again and will listen to you. Not because of your threats but because I want to trust you."
"Good," Mazaeus smiled encouragingly and led him to the couch where the boy slept a few days ago. "Are you hungry? I myself is starving."
"I'll make you a company," agreed Hephaistion realizing that he felt quite comfortable in the satrap's presence after he managed to put his hatred aside.
The food was brought and Mazaeus distracted Hephaistion further by making small talk, here and there correcting Hephaistion's language blunders and telling him funny stories from his own childhood. Few hours passed quickly but Hephaistion started to notice that Mazaeus fought hard to suppress his yawns. He remembered that it was greatly his fault that the satrap probably had very little sleep past few nights because of him.
"I shouldn't take so much of your time," Hephaistion said honestly.
"Well, I am glad we settled our differences but you are right, I'll probably fall asleep the moment my head will touch the pillow."
"Would you like me to stay here?" asked Hephaistion without fearing the answer.
"Yes, just in case, but you can take the couch. Kamarta will warn me if we have any visitors though I don't think we should be disturbed today."