All right! So, the site's been even more rocky; who knows who's getting emails and now it's been crashing pretty much constantly since Friday. This is great. We shall see. For future reference, if something like this happens again, you can always check this fic on ao3; there's no guarantee it'll have a new chapter, though- I store my chapters on this site, and if it's so bad I'm not even able to get through to post it, well, the version on ao3 won't be updated, either. If this continues, I'm not sure what I'll do now, but here's hoping it won't continue, because surely it can't be that difficult just to keep a long-functioning site still online... But anyway. Thanks so much to those of you who were able to get through the site to leave a review last time! And now, on we go! :D

A nurse came along eventually, frowning to find Ed still in Roy's room and shepherding him along after checking on her drugged patient again. Ed, still reluctant, had kept his mouth shut. Roy had been totally knocked out by that point, but so restless and distressed it had been disturbing, muttering under his breath and trying to toss and turn against restraints. It had been the nicer nurse anyway, Susan, so when Ed had found himself shaken out of an impossible doze to be pushed back to his room, he just hadn't found it in him to protest. He was exhausted, freezing, and sore, and his body had wanted nothing more than just to lie down in a next of blankets and never get up again.

The nurse had taken Roy's blanket off him, slightly warmer from the hours it had spent absorbing his body heat, returning it to Roy before taking him back to his own, colder, lonelier bed.

Despite how uncomfortable Roy's room had become, the louder and louder the older man had started muttering, Ed found himself missing it, in the dim, cold silence of his own room.

He told himself to quit being selfish. After all, there'd been pretty much nothing he could've done for Roy at that point, anyway.

He was woken up the next morning by the bitch nurse, the one he hated the most, and just barely resisted the urge to push her into the damn wall. She was the one who'd questioned him yesterday, who'd set off Roy being drugged into oblivion and his own extra long treatment. Bitch. She knew he wasn't really sick. She knew what was going on here- whatever the hell that was. She was doing all of this on purpose. She was-

"Let's hope you feel a little bit better today, now, Edward?" Ann told him, smiling sweetly, and handed over his daily dose of stupid goddamn drugs. "We don't want a repeat of yesterday, now, do we?"

Ed glared viciously at his hand, and once again had the instinct to just fucking punch her.

But he kept silent, because he'd learned what happened when he treated these people how they deserved. He accepted the handful of medication, and it was almost second nature now to hide the sedative under his tongue as he reluctantly swallowed the rest. He sat there and nodded and did everything else he had to do, until finally, he was left alone.

Then, for the first time, he finally had a reason to actually get up and face the day.

He knew from experience it'd be a few more minutes before Roy showed his face, so Ed didn't let himself panic when he poked his head outside and found no one waiting for him. Blanket still clutched tightly in one hand, he worked himself shakily down the hallway, limping through the soreness and still shivering. It always felt like he was shivering, nowadays. By the time he'd finally completely warmed himself back up it'd be time for another 'treatment', so why even fucking bother?

Still shivering, Ed just clutched the blanket tighter to his chest, felt his face fix itself in its near permanent scowl, and parked himself out on the lousy couch to wait.

He didn't have to wait long.

He heard the footsteps first, not ten minutes later, and he somehow could already definitively recognize them as Roy's. Then he actually saw him, the older man uncertainly venturing around the corner like he wasn't sure he belonged, rubbing uneasily at his wrists and looking around in bleary-eyed confusion.

The relief that expanded in the room when their eyes locked was almost palpable.

Ed told himself he was being dumb, because obviously Roy would end up being fine, and even if he hadn't what did it matter, he'd only known the guy a day or two anyway, but somehow none of this stopped his limbs dissolving into jelly and his breath leaving him in a shaky, weak gasp. Roy blinked, staring at him intensely, then suddenly strode across the room brusquely and, in a decidedly business-like manner, pulled him straight off the couch and wrapped both his arms around him in a hug.

"H-hey!" Ed yelped, hopping a little as his precarious balance was upset straight off the bat. "Hey! What are you-"

"I have been waiting to do this since last night," Roy muttered steadily, arms tightening a little more around him, and straight on cue, Ed flushed.

"I'm fine! Nothing even- even happened-"

"You're freezing," Roy cut in sharply. "Still." He tightened his arms again, rubbing a little vigorously on Ed's shoulders, and it was only then he realized that was what Roy was doing- he was trying to warm him up.

"...Well... that's..." Ed winced, averting his gaze even as Roy continued to rub on his shoulders. He flushed again, his face the only warm thing about him. "...It's fine. I'm... used to it."

Roy made a little, annoyed sound in his throat, tsking quietly at him. There was some rustling overhead, and Ed pulled back just in time to see Roy drawing another blanket around his shoulders, another layer of instant warmth so intensely comfortable he almost moaned, barely catching the relief and gratitude in his throat. "You're such a mother hen; what's wrong with you?!" he snapped, aiming for fiery but pretty sure he only reached pathetic. "I'm- I'm fine-"

"Sure you are. Just like you were fine last night." Roy scoffed quietly again, a small smirk crossing his face. "I bet you're the type of person to say you're fine even when you're bleeding to death."

This time, the scowl was genuine as Ed shoved hard, forcing him back to sit down. "Says you! You were the one chattering about being a-okay last night, you jerk; meanwhile you looked like you were about to have a heart attack or some shit." He shook his head in annoyance and dropped down to sit beside him, hugging the blankets closer to him with a huff. "Jerk."

There was a short moment of uncertain silence. Then, again without warning, Roy dropped his heavy arm back around his shoulders, not quite a hug but still pulling him close enough to impart a sense of warmth. "Well," he said quietly, a hint of solemness returned to his voice now, "to be quite fair, I clearly was, and am, doing well. ...Even if I still feel like my stomach has taken up tap dancing on my spleen." He paused for another moment. "You, on the other hand, seem to be in a bit worse shape than me. ...and, you left."

"What?"

Roy shrugged slightly, dark gaze averted. "You seemed quite set on staying last night," he filled in steadily, as if it was all completely obvious. "Then I woke up, and you were gone. ...Considering the circumstances, I don't think you can blame me for being worried."

Ed blinked. Once again, his face flushed warmly, burning in the sudden face of such open concern. Roy had been... worried? About him? On one hand, considering everything that had gone on last night, for the guy to actually have been worried about him instead of himself was ridiculous- but, as Ed stood there, feeling his long, heavy, warm arms around him, he realized he had never felt this before. He'd never felt someone else actually be concerned about him like this, and never mind the fact that Roy barely knew him from a bar of soap- it was the unavoidable truth. Roy actually cared enough to be worried.

His face heated up again, insides turning soft and squishy, and he suddenly found himself absolutely unable to look at him. He wanted to say he was touched, which somehow annoyed him and he folded his arms gruffly, trying to get some distance and pretty much failing. "You're a jerk, you know that."

Roy laughed quietly over his head. "Indubitably."

After a moment, he was tugged again, and with the blankets Ed couldn't resist as he was gently pulled back to sit down on what had become their couch. As sore as he'd been it was a huge relief, and his pride was only to ready to take the blow when he just snuggled back into the corner, pulling up his leg so he could even his cold toes into the warmth. Roy didn't say anything but Ed still defiantly kept his eyes down, not wanting to see it if the older man was amused at him because of it, patronizing smile and all.

He got enough of that from the god damned nurses, after all.

"...You're okay, then?" he asked after a long silence, casting a careful look at Roy out of the corner of his eye. "Really?"

Roy nodded without hesitation, but from Ed's current position, he could just catch a glimpse of the shadow that washed over his pale face. "Of course. Everything... everything happened, just as you said it would." He shrugged carelessly, but it seemed almost forced, and he was obviously in no hurry to look at Ed. "Everything's fine. I... imagine my experience was quite similar to yours, based on what you described."

Ed averted his eyes too, somehow understanding just fine the sudden discomfort. He huddled a little more under his blanket, the shivering not quite as bad anymore, wrapping his fingers around the worn edges. "...If it helps, the drugs is some of the worst stuff they do. Leaves you feeling screwed up for days. The ice baths- I mean, yeah, I guess I'm cold for a while, but it'll probably be easier for you, since you're so much bigger, and anyway, I prefer being cold to being screwed up."

There was a moment of silence from above him, the heavy arm wrapped around his shoulders suddenly deceptively still.

Then:

"...Ice baths?"

Ed stiffened.

Oh, crap.

"Uh... forget I said anything." He hunkered down further, trying to hide his face in the folds of his blanket even as he shook his head vigorously. "Doesn't matter."

"I actually think that it does."

Damn it, damn it, damn it, no. He did not want to talk about this. "Just forget about it, Roy, it's nothing-"

"Is that what they did to you last night?" the older man demanded, and Ed suddenly found himself pushed back to meet his sharp gaze again; eyes still half glazed and unfocused with the drugs but an angry light of injustice underneath, hands gripping his shoulders and mouth pulled into a scowl. "They put you in a- an ice bath?" His face contorted and he started to stand, glowering. "What was that supposed to help? What benefit could that possibly-"

"Will you hush!" Ed hissed, grappling to heave him back down before he did something they'd both regret. God, he was such an idiot! "Didn't you figure it out last night; complaining just gets us in trouble! What, are you so eager to find out about the damn ice bath that you wanna experience it for yourself right now? Moron!" He reeled the idiot in violently, hauling to get him to sit back down on the couch before he royally screwed up.

Roy hit the couch again with a quiet oof, perhaps bigger than he was but still unbalanced from all the drugs, and Ed couldn't help a triumphant grin when the older man just hit the battered cushions limply, blinking in surprise. He looked completely out of sorts, almost befuddled by the sudden response, and Ed found himself torn between embarrassment and a victory face- all on top of the worry that Roy was going to press the matter and fuck things up again.

It took a few moments, but finally, Roy relaxed back into the couch, still looking a little taken aback by the vehement response but at least like he wasn't going to go storm off to get a nurse again. "...Sorry," he murmured, frowning distantly. "Really, I am. I guess it's just... a little difficult to get used to." He paused again, not really looking at Ed. "...You've really been doing this on your own for a while, haven't you?"

There was a quiet note of concern in his voice, something subtly worried about him all over again, and that nixed his moment of triumph, just like that. Ed immediately looked away as well, going for an absentminded shrug as he ducked his head again. Something about it just felt weird. "Wasn't that bad," he muttered, almost defensively. "Few weeks, I guess. Doesn't matter."

"...Right." Roy breathed a quiet sigh, still looking away from him; the arm around his shoulders returned in a few moments as a sort of afterthought, it felt like, with less urgency than before but more understanding. "So, then," he went on, clearing his throat. "You said they- they give us... ice baths?"

Ed sighed unhappily as well. He couldn't say he wasn't that surprised he wasn't letting it go. After all, if Ed had been in his shoes, he didn't think he would have, either. "It's not that bad," he insisted again, though he wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure Roy or just deflect his sympathy. "You really do get used to it, after a while. They, uh... for me, anyway... they tend to do it every day, or two if you're lucky. That's their normal treatment. They only use the drugs when they think they need to calm you down for something- you figure out how to avoid them, eventually."

Roy frowned again. "Eventually- right," he muttered, averting his eyes. He looked quietly annoyed again, but at least in control enough to not go charging after the damn nurses again, and after several moments cleared his throat once more, this time with a business-like sort of air, the exertion of will almost palpable as if he wrenched his thoughts back on track. "Well, then. Now that that's all been... settled. Do you care to return to our earlier topic of discussion, before we were so callously interrupted, or would you rather settle for something less potentially upsetting?"

"Our... previous topic of..." Ed's eyes widened and he jerked away from the one-armed embrace, glaring when it hit him. "You mean the tattoos? From yesterday? God damn, what's wrong with you? I bet you're a politician. All high-brow, pompous and shit. Who talks like that?"

Roy smirked proudly, a face Ed was growing very familiar with and in fact, now that he thought of it, fit his idea of of politician-face just perfectly. "Well, based on the quality and breadth of your vocabulary, I'd surmise you to be the son of a swearing sailor."

"Wha- you ass." Ed jerked away from him, stubbornly dragging the blankets with him as he whirled on the jerk, jabbing another angry finger point at his stupid, smug face. "I'm not- I know more than swear words, I just- why son?! Why do you get to be a politician but I've gotta be the son of a sailor?! I'm not a little kid! You shit!"

If possible, Roy looked even more smug right now, smirk intensifying as he leaned back with a self-satisfied air. "A little kid? No, no; perish that thought- but, I was merely pointing out, our respective size differences do seem to indicate-"

"You shut your stupid mouth, you-"

Ed heard the approaching footsteps and his instincts kicked into action long before he'd even consciously realized what was going on. One moment, he was standing there, arguing at Roy's dumb face, because Roy was dumb and deserved it, the next, he'd felt his expression shift into enforced calm as a wave of cold anxiety washed over him. He turned, blankets and all, to hit the couch by Roy's side again, staring vacantly to the dirty floor with his face blank and his shoulders slump.

Roy stiffened beside him, drawing an inch away in uncertainty. "I'm... sorry?" he queried hesitantly, head tilting to the side. "Was it something that I said...?"

Ed didn't answer.

Not two seconds later, Ann and Susan walked around the corner.

They both looked mildly confused, as if they'd heard the raised voices beforehand and come along expecting to see the cause of them, but there was nothing there for them to see. Just Ed, staring vacantly at the floor, and Roy blinking at him in confusion.

Roy, however, was a fast learner. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the older man slump as well, his face washing over with a blank facade just as Ed's had, eyes dulling, and just like that, the two stupid nurses were fooled.

There were a few moments of silence, then an awkward clearing of the throat sound. "You two boys all right?" one of the nurses asked, confusion still weighing on her voice.

Ed swallowed his scowl. He was pretty used to hiding his irritation, frustration, and anger from these people, after all. "Mmm," he mumbled noncommittally, not even looking at them, and Roy was quick to follow his example.

It took another moment or two, the nurses both seeming a little uncertain at what was going on. After the night before, however, Ed was just in no shape to handle going through another one of their treatments today, and Roy evidently agreed; together they gave the nurses nothing to go off of but downcast stares and blank expressions, and after another silent inspection, at last, it seemed even they had to give up, and withdraw.

"Just checking!" Ann chirped, and she and her partner retreated right back around the corner.

Ed held his silence for several moments longer, perfectly still and quiet, fists clenched as he waited for the inevitable. He gave it longer than he really probably had to, to be honest- but after last night, he sure as hell was not taking the chance.

Finally, however, it was clear that they'd gotten away clean.

Releasing the breath he hadn't realized he was holding, Ed led his head fall, ragged hair shadowing his eyes as he shifted just enough to meet Roy's cautious gaze again. "For the record," he muttered darkly, "just because we got interrupted, does not mean this is over. Jackass."

That was all it took to get Roy to relax, as well, the blank, empty mask from before fading into yet another quiet smirk. "Certainly, shrimp."

It took just about all of Ed's self control, not to start shouting at that one.

"You- I- well, you're just a- ass!" he spluttered, face flaming and hand clenching in a fist so eager to smash his smug smirk in the nails nearly drew blood. "Yeah, I'm fucking smaller than you, big fucking whoop. You're probably just taller because your whole body had to grow to accommodate that gigantic head of yours; got any more observations to drop down on me, Colonel Obvious, or can we move on with the helpful conversations now?"

Roy gave him another smug look, one that screamed I won and I know it, but thank god seemed content to let the argument drop. "Of course," he acquiesced, shifting a little back to fully face him, expression shifting back into a more business-like expression. "Although, I believe the expression is Captain Obvious."

"What?"

"Captain Obvious," Roy said again, shrugging. "Instead of Colonel."

"What? Yeah. Yeah, I..." Ed's eyes widened, and just like that, everything ground to a screeching halt. "...know."

He did know that. Captain Obvious- but he'd said colonel, hadn't he? Without even thinking about it, like it was just a well ingrained habit. He'd definitely said colonel. The word rang uncertainly in his mind again and he rolled his tongue around it, a strange taste in his mouth and a sudden hesitancy weighing over every inch of him.

Why had he said that?

"Anyway, the tattoos," Roy pressed on obliviously, interlacing his fingers. "Neither of us really got a very good look, yesterday. I was thinking-"

"No, wait, wait." Ed waved anxiously for him to stop, his mind abruptly reeling. "Stop. I knew that."

"Knew... what?"

"Colonel!" he exclaimed, only keeping his voice down by some sort of miracle as he waved him on again, already impatient and annoyed that Roy just didn't get it. "I know what the expression is, and I used it wrong."

Roy's eyes narrowed confusedly. "Well... I'm sure you just misspoke..." he said slowly, still clearly not understanding. "I'm not-"

"No, I didn't just misspeak." Smacking his hand down, Ed again wrenched himself up off the couch, moving awkwardly over to the wall to pace as best as he could while he left Roy behind to stare blankly, utterly flummoxed. "No. I called you Colonel for a reason. I know what the expression is, I didn't screw it up, I didn't misspeak, I called you Colonel and it wasn't a mistake. I know it!" He turned, still hobbling along the length of the wall, each and every aggressive step trying to break through the solid wall in his mind in between him and understanding.

Colonel. Colonel. That was the key word. He'd looked at Roy and, without really thinking about it, called him colonel. Why?

Why did it just... fit?

Why did it sound right?

"I... I don't know..." Ed shook his head miserably, voice wavering as he stumbled back around to fix Roy with another look, staring in complete bewilderment. He didn't get it, and he hated that. "It's just like with the tattoos! You and I, we both knew what those words meant, we both just got it for no reason, we both knew it was an array, whatever the hell that is- this is the same thing! I don't get why, but something about it just feels right! You know? Like yesterday, Roy!"

Slowly, the older man blinked. His face was just as blank as when the nurses had found them, but this time, Ed didn't think it was a facade. Dark eyes stared vacantly at him, shrewd but utterly lost, and for a long moment, he said nothing at all, just stared at him.

Like something was wrong with him.

Ed's insides turned cold.

He knew that fucking look.

"I'm not crazy," he hissed, dropping his hand off the wall to turn and face him completely.

Roy blinked innocently, his eyes widening. "What? I didn't say-"

"You didn't have to say a damn thing. I'm not stupid, Roy. I know how you're looking at me. Like- like those nurses do- and I'm not crazy, okay?! I'm not sick! Nothing's wrong with me!"

"Hang on, Ed, I didn't say any of that, I just-"

"Just think I'm crazy, right? Totally out of my mind, locked up here because I deserve it? I'm sick, and all they're doing is making me better, right?" he spat, disgusted. "Right?"

"Ed-" Roy started worriedly again, but he just wasn't going to have it this time.

"You shut up. I'm trying to help you here; you know that, right?! I'm the only one here trying to do a damn thing for you! But you want to just give it a go on your own, then, like I had to? Think it'll just be a fun time to sit here and believe you're crazy and rot? Huh, Colonel Roy?"

Roy was just fucking like the nurses. He was automatically crazy, and every word he said only proved their point, and nothing he could ever say would do anything but further convince them all that he was crazy. Just because he'd ended up in this psych ward somehow, no idea how or why- but he wasn't crazy! He wasn't! He looked at Roy and didn't believe he was sick or out of his mind; why the hell couldn't the guy give him the same courtesy?!

I'm NOT crazy!

I'M NOT!

Ed breathed out a hard gasp, glaring furiously at Roy who still just sat there, watching him impassively. The guy who he'd been immeasurably relieved and reassured to be with just last night but suddenly infuriated him beyond belief just fucking sitting there, watching him, like those nurses were always watching him...

"Are you done?" Roy asked quietly, voice agonizingly steady.

He sucked in another gasp through clenched teeth, anger washing through him in a boiling wave. He opened his mouth again, sputtering for a heartbeat, then just clenched it shut, feeling all together stupid and a mess and hating himself for it and Roy all at the same time.

Roy waited for several moments, and when Ed found himself frustratingly unable to manage as much as a simple, scathing reply, the older man got to his feet again, approaching with a calm, unreadable sort of stare. "Ed," he said quietly again, hands raised a little in the universal gesture for peace. "I never said or thought any of that. Okay? If you're convinced that colonel means something, then- then I believe you. It means something."

He looked as if he wanted to go on at first, then just shut his mouth and stopped, waiting for him to answer. His face was still frustratingly impassive and Ed found his unsure reply catching in his throat, stuck over what to say or believe. He blinked, staring up at Roy, suspicion and paranoia warring for attention in his mind, feeling almost as if he was being torn in two from the instinct to fear but the need to trust- because, Roy- Roy was suddenly acting like he could trust him again, but- god, what if he couldn't? What if Roy was just humoring him, playing nice with the crazy kid? What if he was lying to him? What if this was just a scheme by the nurses; what if Roy wasn't a real patient at all, just put here to watch him, or-?

Or what if, worst of all, Roy wasn't real in the first place?

What if he really was crazy, and had just dreamed Roy up like an imaginary friend when he had no one else here, and was just standing here shouting at an empty couch?

"Listen to me," Roy said again. "I may not understand too much of what's going on here, but you've been here longer than I have, and have had to figure most of this out by yourself. So if you think colonel means something, then it does, and we should try to figure out what. Okay?"

"...I..." Ed swallowed, part of him still angry but desperately trying to justify it, now. "Um..." He shook his head for a moment, blinking uncertainly at the grounds that Roy had just yanked out from under him. Everything was fixed again, just like that. "Well, I-..."

But he couldn't have just overreacted for no reason at all. He couldn't have just snapped and screamed at Roy like that with zero justification, because that- that'd mean he was crazy. And he wasn't. He was not fucking crazy, he was just- being careful, and- and paranoid, right? Because the nurses, they said he was sick, that he had paranoid delusions, and-

"Look, after last night, I think neither of us are really in the best state of the mind at the moment anyway, Ed." He gave him another steadying look, one that if it hid suspicion, did it flawlessly, then took a few steps back, gesturing for Ed to join him. "So let's just move on, and focus on the tattoos. And... the colonel thing. We good with that?"

Ed hesitated for a few moments longer, searching over every inch of the older man for even a hint of deceit and lies and fighting to keep his face steady; couldn't let the suspicion or fear show, because here, that wasn't suspicion or fear, that was paranoia and it was to be medicated away into nothing. He narrowed his eyes, staring hard at Roy, every part of him waiting for the inevitable betrayal-

But it just didn't come.

"All right," Roy said after a long moment, smiling slightly. "We're good with that." He started to move away, then abruptly turned back to the couch to collect his blanket and held it out to him, gesturing again. "Let's get out of here; somewhere we can look at those things without being interrupted again. Okay?"

Ed held still for one moment longer, suspicion and worry beating so hard in his chest it almost hurt to breathe.

Don't trust him. You can't trust anyone. You're alone here, you can't trust him, he's done nothing for you, just turn your back and get out of here while you still can...

He closed his eyes, and remembered how Roy had looked, and how he had felt sitting next to him, just that night before.

"...Fine," he muttered.

Carefully, Ed moved just close enough to steal the blanket back, dragging it gratefully around his shoulders and all too relieved to hide back underneath it again. "After you," he said darkly, gesturing for Roy to lead the way; safe or not, he'd feel a lot better if he didn't have to turn his back to him.

Roy gave him that look again, that oddly unreadable, uncomfortable look, as if he read more into the words than Ed had wanted him to. To his credit, though, he only hesitated for a moment before acquiescing without another word, allowing Ed to follow him at an awkward, hopped limp down the hallway.

They made it off to his room in short order, a weak aura of relief expanding the moment was shut behind them and they'd gained at least a hint of privacy. Even Roy looked a little more relaxed when he firmly shut the door and just like that, they were alone, although Ed's relief was short-lived when he realized their next problem.

They stood there together for several moments, Ed staring uncomfortably between the floor and the empty, waiting bed. Roy shifted his weight and Ed frowned, the both of them obviously unwilling. The problem was obvious- with the tattoos the way they were, to really get a good look at them, one of them was going to have to just suck it up and be vulnerable. One of them was going to have to just move over, helplessly lie down on his stomach, and let himself be poked and prodded at and whatever the hell else. In Ed's current state, he couldn't imagine anything more unsettling, unwanted, or miserable.

Which sucked, because he was pretty sure he was going to be the one to do it.

Roy was the able-bodied one. It'd just be easier for him to navigate and investigate than it would be for Ed, with Ed having to hop awkwardly around the bed, using his arm mostly for balance, as utterly painful, grating, and humiliating as it was to admit it- but that wasn't supposed to matter, should it? This wasn't about what made him comfortable. This was about figuring out what the hell was going on so they could get themselves out of this situation. His comfort and safety were irrelevant to everything else, weren't they?

He just needed to suck it up, grit his teeth, and do it.

Yeah.

That was... what he had to do.

Ed shifted his weight a little, insides twisting miserably, and again found his mouth too dry to even speak.

"Well," Roy announced after several long, awkward moments. He cleared his throat, but Ed didn't realize what was going on until, with a loud creak of the bedsprings, the older man sat decidedly down on the edge of the bed and Ed jerked his gaze up to stare at him, blinking in disbelief at the sight.

Roy offered him a weak grin. "Half of me still wants to throw up, the other half wants to pass out, and all of me wants to never take so much as an Aspirin ever again. I think I'm good with lying down for a little bit, if you don't mind." He grinned again, then reverted his attention to carefully pulling off his hospital shirt, revealing the inked skin while completely obscuring his face with a mess of hair.

Ed hesitated, instantly put on edge as he narrowed his eyes, staring closer at the guy and searching him for any sign of lies or, even worse, pity. But, bewilderingly, there really wasn't anything telling. He did look truly exhausted, bare shoulders slumped a little and dark circles under his eyes, lines of sincere fatigue etched into his face as he dropped his hands to his lap to meticulously fold the shirt. Truthfully, having been in Roy's position himself, Ed knew it wasn't a lie- the day or so after the drug treatment and he was usually so tired he couldn't even manage to get himself out of bed, and so sick he couldn't manage to want to.

If Roy was doing this just because he felt bad for him, it didn't show.

Slowly, Ed managed to let himself smile again, a small, weak twist at his mouth but genuine all the same, and he felt some of the nearly permanent tension in his shoulders slowly drain away to nothing.

He's real. I'm real. This is all real.

I'm not crazy, and this is all real...

Roy breathed out an exhausted sigh of relief as he finally hit the mattress, stomach-first and fatigued beyond belief. The lumpy bed and scratchy sheets, tantamount to hell before, were unbelievably comfortable now, and he squirmed deeper against the bed and pillowed his head in his arms, for a moment so contented he couldn't even stop a smile.

Earlier this morning, finally freed and for the first time in hours, coherent and not in unimaginable pain, Roy had been more than able to set his fatigue aside for the sake of finding Ed. The jolt of fear that had shot through him upon opening his eyes and realizing the kid was just not there had been more than enough to nix his exhaustion. After the state Ed had been in the night before, Roy had already known he wouldn't be able to rest until he'd seen with his own two eyes that he was all right.

Well, now he'd seen that.

And now, the exhaustion was back, full storm.

Roy shifted his head a little on the neat bundle of his shirt, trying to relax as he listened to Ed moving around him. "I think I'm going to try drawing this," the kid announced, moving back into Roy's line of sight. "That way, we can compare ours easier, make sure they really are the same. I know it's still sore, so I'll try not to poke at it too much." He ran his hand through his long hair, grinning sharply again. "Guess we got a use for those crayons after all, huh."

Roy grunted in the affirmative, watching through half-lidded eyes as Ed started to situate himself to get the best view as he could. It was a good idea, definitely one that he could get behind, although he still wasn't too sure how much of this was him humoring Ed. After all, he wasn't so naive to believe there was nothing suspicious about all of this- but he couldn't quite buy Ed's theory yet, mainly because Ed had no theory. Strange, matching tattoos, strange, matching memory loss stories, strangely unhelpful nurses and treatments- that was just it. Everything was strange, and nothing was adding up, but Ed's idea that they'd evidently been kidnapped by a crazy doctor for no other purpose than making them suffer was preposterous.

Nothing was adding up, but Roy just could not help the small part of him that listened to Ed's suspicious, shaken ranting against the hospital and remember the nurses quiet, sympathetic diagnosis of paranoid delusions.

Roy swallowed uncomfortably, unable to help feeling like just a bit of a liar, and averted his gaze as Ed continued his inspection.

Another point of contention was the kid's outburst earlier at him, one moment conversing normally and the next almost shouting, shaken and in an outright panic, demanding over and over that he wasn't crazy. To be entirely honest with himself, Roy knew all that unsettling scene should've done was provide more support for everything the nurses had told him. The look on Ed's face then, every word he'd said-

Well, it'd hardly been the picture of mentally stable.

But...

Roy hesitated again, dragging his gaze back downwards to stare at the floor.

He'd only been here a few days. He'd gone through a long round of continuous sedatives and one single instance of treatment, punishment, whatever, and was currently sick as a dog and half miserable because of it.

Ed, however, had been here for weeks. He'd been through their treatments constantly, the drugs Roy had endured the night before and these new ice baths, apparently- and more than that, he'd survived them all alone. Roy couldn't even imagine, he'd barely been through anything at all- but god, the night before... he shivered to remember it even now. The restraints, the constant pain, the sickness, the... hallucinations... it'd been simply awful. There was no other word for it. But he'd understood what was happening the whole time; Ed had been sitting right there, explaining it to him.

Ed had never had anyone like that.

After everything that he'd been through, Roy could hardly blame him for being so jumpy and easily angered like that. Nor did he feel right dismissing it all as more paranoid delusions and ignoring him.

Ed had every right to be hurt, now. And was it really paranoia, if the nurses, at least, really did seem to be out to get them?

Sighing, Roy carefully shifted, trying to get a better look at Ed without obstructing the kid's view of his odd tattoo. Ed was sitting in the chair next to his bedside, biting his lip as he stared intensely down at him, already completely focused completely blocking the rest of him out while he sketched out a large circle in flaking red crayon. "About that... colonel thing," he started hesitantly, because he honestly wasn't too sure himself how much it had really meant. All he knew was that Ed was convinced it meant something, and for now, that would have to be enough. "You said it feels like the tattoos did? Familiar, in a way that you can't place?"

Ed didn't reply for several moments, too intensely focused on transcribing the tattoo to answer him. Finally came a distracted, "Yeah," though he continued to bite his lip, still frowning in concentration. "Yeah. Exactly like the tattoos, actually." He still didn't seem to be paying him that much attention as he sketched out a careful circle on the paper, falling silent for a few more moments to focus on his work ."Maybe you're a colonel. Literally, a colonel in the military or something."

Roy stopped just short of shrugging, ensuring not to disrupt Ed's view of the tattoo. Considering his curious lack of memory, he supposed Ed's theory was as decent as any... "Maybe," he hedged. "Aren't I a bit young for colonel, though?"

Ed hmmed distractedly, still drawing the circle, then abruptly shot his gaze back over to his face, glaring and pointing at him with the crayon. "Shut up; you don't even know how old you are! What are you even talking about; don't brag like you're so young or whatever..."

"Wha- I didn't say any of that!" Scowling, Roy pillowed his head a little more comfortably- and stubbornly- in his arms, frowning at the bed. Unrepentant, offensive little shit. "All I'm trying to say is, colonel is a rather high rank, and I certainly don't feel old enough to have accumulated that many stars on my shoulders." He shrugged again, this time not even caring whether or not he got in the way of Ed's drawing. "Maybe it's a nickname or something..."

Ed continued sketching at first, once again not paying him any mind- so distracted, in fact, Roy wasn't convinced he was even being listened to. But then, out of nowhere the kid straightened up again, paper being moved aside like it was barely even worth an afterthought as he jerked the chair closer, eyes brightening in a sudden burst of light nearly contagious in its energy. "Hey, hey, wait! Nickname, rank, whatever- we're looking at the wrong thing here! None of that matters- the point is that I have a name for you, Roy! I have something I used to call you!"

"...Ah..." he cleared his throat awkwardly. "How- insightful of you...?"

"Gah... no, you dolt!" Ed's hand shot out to smack at the back of his head, irritation flashing in his eyes again. "No. The point is, I have to have known you! Before we ended up here, I mean- we have to have known each other! It's the only thing that makes sense! We knew each other before we got here!" Suddenly almost shaking in excitement, Ed darted forwards to bounce on the edge of the bed and touch his tattoo again, pulling at the skin and staring between it and him, breath quickening, smile growing. "That's it, that's it! We know each other, don't we?! We knew each other before we ended up here! And you- you're Colonel, for some reason- and me- well, you have to know me somehow! That's it, Roy! We know each other!"

Roy, once again, was stunned into silence.

Ed was... right.

Paranoid or not, delusions or not, there was no other explanation for what Ed was saying. If Ed remembered once having a nickname or whatever colonel was for him- then they had once known each other. Whatever was before this hospital, they had experienced it together.

Which made it all the more unlikely that it was just a coincidence they had both ended up here together, as well.

"We know each other," he repeated uncertainly, turning his gaze back over to him. He stared at the excited, practically bouncing teen, searching over every inch of him for a sign of familiarity, something to be recognized. Before he'd even realized he was doing it Roy pushed himself over onto his side then fully upright, staring harder at Ed just as Ed stared back at him.

If they'd known each other before now, there had to be something, right? Something in him that Roy knew. Something him that he'd missed up until now. Short, long hair, startling eyes... two missing limbs, and a stare that was surely older than his years... frowning, Roy got up off the hospital bed and started to circle around Ed, scrutinizing every bit of him. Something was here, it had to be!

"I don't... I..." He tilted his head to the side, taking another step around him. "Maybe..." Slowly, Roy reached a hand around him to gather Ed's long hair up, holding it together behind his head and taking another look at him. "Maybe this?" he questioned unsurely, but almost winced at how pathetically unconvinced he sounded, even to his own ears. Ed with his hair up seemed to almost fit something, but at this point Roy wasn't sure if that was valid or if he was just trying so hard to see something he was imagining something that wasn't even there. Groaning, he let his hair down again and sat back down, sharing a disappointed look with Ed. "I'm sorry. I'm not saying you're wrong, but... I just don't see anything I remember, Ed."

Ed's excitement was hardly that easy to chase away, however. With not even an annoyed look, Ed just pushed him back to the hospital bed, grinning all the while and shaking his head like it didn't matter. "It's fine; I'm sure it'll come to you! I mean, I stumbled upon this colonel thing by complete accident. Maybe this isn't something you can try and force- point is, we definitely know each other. And I bet if we can just figure out how, maybe we'll be able to figure out something about why we're here." He paused, then pointed at Roy's back, smile dissolving into an instant, sharp frown. "And what the hell these messed up tattoos have to do with it, too."

Roy still, admittedly, didn't really understand anything that was going on here. He didn't know how much to trust Ed- his intentions were innocent, and not a word he'd said had been malicious, he fully believed that much, but the fact of the matter was, Ed was supposed to be sick. Hell, he was supposed to be sick. Something was wrong with the both of them, and something told him just hopping on to this crazy train behind Ed and embracing the idea that everything about this was a conspiracy against them was not a good idea.

But, at that moment, all he could hope for was that Ed was right.

A/N: hey guess what you have next chapter

Angst :)