The Rocky Horror Fanfic Show

by Cececat

Why did Frank and his servants visit Earth? How did Columbia end up living at the castle? Every RHPS fanfic writer has their own answers to these questions... and I've decided to share mine in a webseries. I've also decided to post the first draft of the script for people to read. If enough readers show interest we might even film an originalized version. (Please Read/Review!)

33. Episode 5, scene 3

Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show

A/N: This new OC, 'Mr. Grumio' is partly named after the slave in the 'Britcom' Plebs (himself named after the slave from The Cambridge Latin Course). My character apparently feels like a slave to the school (because he does many different jobs). Hopefully he provides decent comic relief.

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(An office at Denton High School. Mr. Malvolio Grumio - the vice principal/secretary/etc - sits at the desk gloomily. Enter Magenta as "Mrs. Addams")

Mr. Grumio: hullo, what do you want?

Mrs. Addams: my family just moved into town, rather unexpectedly, and we need to enroll my younger sister in school. She should be graduating with the class of 1974.

Mr. Grumio: oh? You know it's halfway through the year.

Mrs. Addams: I do.

Mr. Grumio: What if she can't adjust?

Mrs. Addams: if there's one thing Laura can do it's adjust.

Mr. Grumio:(sarcastically) lucky her.

Mrs. Addams: she's lucky, you're lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky.

Mr. Grumio: what lies! I, Malvolio Grumio, am a slave to this school. I do all the work nobody else will.

Mrs. Addams: poor old you. Now, can we get back to discussing Laura? She's practically been a daughter to me since our parents died in a mildly amusing freak accident in Washington DC.

Mr. Grumio: what sort of freak accident?

Mrs. Addams: the freaky sort. Ever since that day I've spent much effort raising young Laura by hand. Once I married my dear husband Terry she became even more like a daughter, taking his surname as I did.

Grumio: what's your name?

Mrs. Addams: Patricia Addams.

Grumio: what a lovely name, ma'am, what a lovely name.

Mrs. Addams: that's beside the point. Will you help me get Laura a place here?

Grumio: I'll do all I can. Because I do virtually everything around her I do have some influence.

Mrs. Addams: thank you, Mr. Grumio.

(She smiles sweetly)

Grumio (aside): what a woman! I've fallen in love, I think. There's something so very interesting about her. I'd do anything - even wear ugly yellow pants with black stripes - to gain her affection!

Mrs. Addams: which classes will she be in?

Grumio: oh, all the usual ones. I'll try to get her in Mr. Letsa's science class if I can. He's terribly in demand.

Mrs. Addams: oh?

Grumio: the other science teacher, Dr. Scott, is a well-hated cripple and, allegedly, an operation paperclip Nazi. Letsa is wildly popular genius that everyone wants to be taught by.

Mrs. Addams: fascinating.

Grumio: it sure is.

(Pause)

Mrs. Addams: is there some paperwork I should sign? For enrolling Laura I mean.

Grumio: yes, right here. (Opens up desk drawer) We rarely get new students at Denton High so space isn't an issue. (Hands her the papers).

Mrs. Addams: may I take this home to fill out?

Grumio: sure thing, Mrs Addams!

Mrs. Addams: thank you.

(She leaves with the paperwork)

Grumio (aside): what a woman…

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