Despite being safely back in my Hobbit-hole, happy to think that that was indeed the last I would hear of any such adventuring business, I was surprised by the sound of something scratching against the bottom of my door. Faint but loud enough to be noticed, its echo of sound through the door tingled its way up my back.
I shuddered with how ominous it felt and waited until I could no longer quell my curiosity and went to the nearby window to see what Gandalf could have possibly been doing to my lovely door. Almost as soon as I was in front of it though, his face was there blocking my window -looking in to try and find me- and I squeaked back out of fright and landed on my bum in a tangle of puffed skirts.
Completely unbefitting of a proper Hobbit, I immediately crawled out of view into the nearby hallway to hide from his eyes.
As soon as his shadow was gone from the window, I hurriedly crawled along the floor and managed to pick myself up just in time to view him from another window. I eagerly watched him as he hobbled down my small steps and passed my gate, casually beginning to walk down the pathway that would lead back out into the main section of the Shire.
As I watched him go, completely carefree and unaware about the horrid state of fluster he left me in, I was even amazed to find that he was humming in merriment about the entire affair! I felt his humming voice on my shoulder just as solidly as ever until he was out of view and just as it was there before, the heavy sensation left and made me sigh out in relief. He truly was gone.
When I pulled back from the window that time I infinitely felt better about the fact that Gandalf was gone and that he seemed to have gotten my message about heading back to wherever he was off to. I couldn't help but feel my relief at the prospect of having avoided the whole nasty adventure business and righted my skirts before I turned back to my sitting room and looked around.
It was still messy from my earlier search and I decided to pick up a bit before I would make lunch.
Despite my earlier encounter with the mysterious wizard the rest of my day passed by uneventfully and rather like every other day that came to the Shire. More than any other day though, I was happy that this was the case. Gandalf's visit that morning had left me in a terrible state of fright that even somewhat affected how lunch sat with me but by the evening, I was well and truly pleased by how the rest of my day had gone and headed off to bed without much of a thought as to what the next day would bring.
When I awoke the next morning, the feeling of strangeness was completely gone and I smiled in contentment from the warmth of my bed and actually felt compelled to stay underneath the covers for just a little bit longer than usual. Of course, a little bit longer than usual did nothing to delay breakfast and without even bothering to change into proper clothes, I prepared a big breakfast and ate until my belly felt ready to burst from just one more bite (though that one extra bite did not burst my belly).
I knew that I wanted to garden and generally run about outside all day and decided on a simple shirt that I rolled up to my elbows and a high waisted brown skirt that buttoned and had a set of buttons ready to hook my suspender braces onto. I straightened my suspenders once I clicked them on, pulling up a lighter petticoat underneath my skirt before heading off to fetch my gardening supplies.
The day was busy and passed quickly; I picked the vegetables that were ripe and arranged various flowers to put in jars around my hobbit-hole. I went off to the market around lunch time and bought some fabric and thread so that I could make some new lighter skirts for the summer that wasn't too far off.
All in all, once I was ready to turn in for some supper, I felt pretty confident that the night would be just as any other night before it.
Wrapped in my favorite dressing robe and having just finished cooking up a fresh plate of fish, I settled in for some supper and was squeezing some lemon on top for some extra flavor when I was interrupted by the entirely surprising and unexpected jingle of my doorbell.
I sat for a moment absolutely still because I was sometimes a very forgetful hobbit and in my mind I was already going over whether or not I had invited someone over for dinner and simply forgotten. I wasn't able to remember inviting anyone over when I was out earlier but I couldn't be rude and just not answer the door either.
Before I went to answer the door, I made sure to wipe my hands and rushed over because already I felt that I made my visitor wait long enough as it was. Already I wondered who could possibly be outside my door since any hobbit knew what time it was and wouldn't just come on over unless it was something of an emergency. What could more of an emergency though than one's eating their supper on time? Just as I opened the door I felt surprise come to my features even more than before because of all the visitors I would expect, a dwarf certainly was not one of them!
As he heard my door open, he turned to face me and I was taken aback by how very large and burly he was, a look of put upon annoyance on his face almost hidden underneath all the facial hair that his beard and side burns made up. His beard was indeed most impressive but his head was strangely bald and covered in an unusual display of tattoos that immediately had me gaping up at him.
If that were not enough to startle me, his attire was equally unusual as no hobbit was quite so well acquainted with the need for such a heavy use of fur and leather in one's taste of garb. Was it a dwarf thing to look two times their normal size in such things?
"Dwalin, at your service."
He bowed in my direction, his eyes never leaving mine even as his gruff voice greeted me in an unexpectedly polite manner. His voice tickled across my left cheek and I unknowingly chuckled at the light sensation before I immediately remembered my manners and my appearance. I was a lass in her dressing robe and though I was still wearing my earlier attire underneath, I still could not very well go around with everything hanging about in such an undignified manner.
"Bilbo Baggins, at yours...?"
I gave a quick bow of my own though it was hardly anything more than a quick nod; for Dwalin it seemed to be more than enough. He rushed inside even as I held out my hand to try and stop him, even just to slow him down a little! "Uh, excu- , do we know each other?"
I was just like any other hobbit in the Shire who was usually one for visitors but I really did want to know them before they came visiting! Even though Dwalin seemed to be polite enough, I really had no idea who he was or why he was allowing himself inside just so casually! He came inside though, uncaring if I allowed him in or not and barely gave me enough time to step aside before he almost stepped on my foot.
As he heard my question, his dark eyes shifted down on me, his mouth frowning. Now he just seemed annoyed by such an earnest request, "No."
I stammered without really wanting to and blushed from his answer because once he said it, it really was only too obvious that I would not know him and how rude was it of me to even suggest that we might have!? He was a dwarf after all and I a hobbit and where else would we have come across one another unless we had indeed met before?
"Which way, laddie?"
My thoughts were in a turmoil over my own rudeness and how I could now be a proper host with such a visitor as Dwalin. Despite the fact that I had not invited him over, Dwalin was now a good an invited guest as any and I would provide for him just the same. As soon as the tickle brushed against my cheek though, I stopped and realized what he just called me. Laddie? Did he just call me a boy?
"Is it down here?"
I watched him as he shrugged off his rough looking cloak, going momentarily into my sitting room before turning back to me and coming back, "Is what down where?" I implored, confused and wanting to know more.
"Supper!"
I was not particularly ready for my guest to just haphazardly throw his cloak at me to hang up for him but just as he exclaimed it in a kind of delight, he tossed it in my direction and I barely caught it in a huff of protest. Now, I prided myself on being one to entertain guests of all types; Lobelia Sackville-Baggins was no easy guest but Dwalin was by far the most unusual because even Lobelia handed me her things to take care of before going off to steal some of my nicer spoons!
In my haste to get his cloak off my face and into my arms, I missed everything else that Dwalin might have said and noticed that he was no longer in sight. Nervous for the state of my kitchen and where my guest could be, I hurried along to hang up his cloak.I practically ran all the way back into my kitchen where I was greeted by the sight of my esteemed guest sitting at my dining table eating what was supposed to have been my supper!
I didn't know what to say at the sight of him heartily digging into my food but as a host I guess I was happy enough that he seemed to like what was cooked albeit not for him...
I wasn't quite sure what I was then supposed to do since I still did not quite know why Dwalin was here and in my confusion, I could do little more than shuffle and nervously clutch my skirt. Already he was almost finished with what I would have considered to be quite a large supper and he eagerly cleaned every itch of the plate, leaving only just the head of the fish itself.
Needing to be a good host, I went to step forward to take the plate from him and offer him perhaps some tea but just as I did so, Dwalin just up and devoured the fish head, bone and all as if it were nothing! I squeaked back out of shock, his voice the entire time he groaned and chewed in enthusiasm tickling and prodding at my left cheek until I was sure my face was scrunched up unpleasantly. "Very good, this! Is there anymore?"
Without a second's hesitation, the host in me sprang up and I quickly nodded and went to fetch Dwalin a cup of tea, setting it next to his plate quickly with a spoon, a tiny cup of sugar cubes, and a saucer of milk. I hustled back around the table and picked up a nearby plate of seed-cakes that I always kept nearby just for my after dinner deserts. I was very hungry myself for Dwalin had unknowingly interrupted my own dinner. Just as I put two of the cakes down on my own plate and held out the rest for him to take however many he wanted, we both looked up at the sound of the doorbell ringing again.
I was frozen in my spot, unable to comprehend what my doorbell ringing even meant for I already had a guest and was I getting another now or was that a mistake and I just misheard (regardless of how the bell's sound always poked the back of my knee)?
So flustered was I that I didn't even notice Dwalin's eyes meet mine in a knowing grin. He swallowed some of the seed-cake that he previous scarfed on and gruffed out, "That'll be the door."
I waved off the tickle against my cheek, nerves racked now that I was informed of yet another guest but I was determined now not to let myself be startled again or surprised! I was a Baggins of Bag End and I would properly greet this guest in a manner much more befitting than how I improperly greeted Dwalin. Guests did indeed deserve that much respect!
I left the plate with Dwalin and signaled with my hands to let him know that I was getting the door and scurried off to greet my newest guest.
Upon opening my door, I was greeted by yet another dwarf though this one looked to be very much older than Dwalin if his well managed waist length white beard was anything to go by. His attire was also very different from Dwalin's roughen and road wearied clothes. It was well tended and clean looking, its richly dyed red fabrics easily standing out despite the dark night.
"Balin, at your service."
He accented voice was kind and polite and I absentmindedly ran my fingers over the tickle that came to my right cheek. It struck me as so familiar to how Dwalin's voice felt to me. Sensations that came with voices were never easily mistaken for another usually each one a unique touch but Balin's ran over my opposite cheek in the exact same manner as Dwalin's did. If their names were anything to help -by the sound of their voices- were they perhas family?
I watched in a sort of daze as Balin flourished his greeting with a swift bow, bending at the waist to show his utmost respect for the host of the hobbit hole that was currently before him. Once done, he looked at me in expectation and I snapped out of my thoughts. I realized I hadn't actually greeted him in return and that unlike my previous encouragement to be a good host, I couldn't even think of what to say to such a polite dwarf!
"Thank you!"
Inwardly, I winced because that was not what I wanted to say in response to Balin's very proper greeting. The old dwarf didn't seem to mind in the slightest that my manners were not very well -er- mannered at the moment and simply came in after I stepped aside with a resigned sort of air about me. "Good evening."
I tried to salvage what I could from my first attempt at introductions with Balin and he seemed to appreciate this with a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his lips before he nodded briefly, "Yes, it is. Though I think it might rain later."
He looked around the hallways of Bag End in curiosity, leaning one way and then the other before his eyes caught sight of something, "OH!" I startled in surprise and turned to face whatever he saw, immediately eyeing the sight of Dwalin madly attempting to liberate some cookies from one of my cookie jars that sat on one of the shelves of my sitting room. His hand was too far large, barely fitting inside and making the struggle look awkward and yet surprisingly adorable.
I was surprised to find that Dwalin and Balin did indeed seem to know one another for when Balin greeted him (rather more politely than I managed to greet either of them), he called him brother and the two exchanged a few friendly barbs at one another before they were leaning in close and – OH! What was that !? My head was knocked back with the pressure of the sensation and I stumbled into the nearby wall because I was so blown away by what I just felt! The brothers actually head butted one another and the resulting sound was just so abnormal !
What in the?! I never before felt anything like that in my entire life and I rubbed at my forehead in protest to the after shock of what I obviously experienced!
What was wrong with dwarves?! They actually head butted each other in greeting?! Who did such things!? No wonder I felt as if I couldn't properly greet them! If that was how they really did such things!
By the time I actually managed to open my eyes, I was left by myself in the hallway leading to the sitting room and I immediately began to worry about where the two brothers had gotten off to. With Dwalin and Balin no longer in my sight, I almost panicked at the thought of the trouble they were getting themselves into but I had to remind myself that I was a host and it was rather unbecoming to think of my guests as such nuisances.
Just as I was about to go off and find the two brothers to prevent them from...what? Possibly head butting each other further or maybe even my walls, I heard the sound and the brush against the back of my knee of my door bell once again jingling. Who else could possibly be arriving at my front doorstep? How many others were there and were these undoubtedly more dwarves? Were they going to head butt me in greeting?!
Forgetting all sense of decorum and just needing to answer the door, I hobbled back to the foyer still slightly dizzy from the sensation I felt against my forehead.
I answered the door, really only expecting to find one dwarf but couldn't hide the sound of dismay I let slip at the sight of not one dwarf but two more! They were much younger than both Dwalin and Balin, the dwarf on the left smiling at me confidently with his finely braided golden hair and fur trimmed jacket and the one on the right seemingly much more serious with his brunette hair and leather jacket.
He locked eyes with me almost instantly with such an intense gaze that it bordered very nearly on creepy.
"Fili," The one on the left introduced himself and I instantly straightened, a flush coming to my cheeks because his voice was just- just inappropriate! It was a wisp of sensation that teased at my butt but only on the right cheek exactly where one would cup. I dreaded the moment the other would speak due to the fact that the brunette next to him was most assuredly his brother and would likely have a similar- "Kili."
Yep , there it was, a tease running along my left butt cheek and my flush intensified; these two brothers were so inappropriate and I wanted them to leave immediately or stop talking, whichever one would make the uncomfortable sensations stop sooner!
They both bowed with a flourish in perfect sync, speaking together still that they were at my service (of course).How awful it was that they were at my service because their voices felt just as real as their hands would have been had they been cupping at me underneath my skirts, "You must be, Miss Boggins!"
Kili's excitement was quite evident by how he smiled and puffed up his chest at his assumption, though I daresay he was wrong about my name. Even if I wanted to try and correct him, his tone made that impossible. As he became more excited, the feeling against my butt increased with a sharp nip until I yelped out in embarrassment! "NO! No! You can't come in!"
His voice actually pinched my butt! It pinched me! Had his tone no shame!? I was a proper hobbit lass and my face was assuredly the most red it had been in my entire life! I had to get these two to go away with all haste because to allow them inside and actually engage in any sort of conversation would be the death of my very sanity!
"You've come to the wrong place!"
I tried to close the door on them but Kili slammed his foot into the door and pushed back against the wooden surface with his hand so that I couldn't close it, "What? Has it been cancelled?"
"No one told us."
Fili and Kili were too much, ganging up on me physically in two very different ways, their bodies clearly preventing me from just shutting them out and their voices curling and pinching at me in the most unbecoming manner. I tried to remember my manners but manners had never taught me how to keep my composure when the voices of two dwarves speaking together one after the other kept creeping along any sort of intimate parts.
I decided that I had very little choice other than to just get them inside and as far away from me as possible.
I needed them back towards Dwalin and Balin and quickly answered, "No, nothing's been cancelled-"
"Well, that's a relief!" Kili replied excitedly and flat out pushed passed me, the door swinging wide open and sending me back against the wall in a huff. At the same time his brother, Fili noticed just how red my face was, his eyes catching mine as he sauntered inside and turned to me.
Something was held out for me to take and I automatically grabbed it, noticing that it was Kili's quiver and bow. I barely had enough time to even put that on my shoulder before Fili was calling my attention back to him with a pinch and stroke along my butt cheek, "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened."
He was actually passing me his weapons for me to take care of! I could hardly believe the audacity of these two dwarves, carting off knife after knife into my arms with hardly a concern if I were even ready to take such a load! Kili was off behind me asking me about my hobbit hole and I could only politely answer back with minimal details about how it was just in my family for years because his voice was still rambling on and my face was so flushed with embarrassment.
Fili looked to be having quite an amusing time pulling out all his various hidden daggers in a show of dwarfish pride. As each one was taken by either my hand or set on the growing pile in my arms, I was sure Fili couldn't help but notice that my face just kept getting redder and redder as his brother rambled on.
How very horrible all of this was!
He really must have thought I fancied them or something because he just smirked at me with that ever present confident look in his eyes, setting the very last of the actually impressive count of blades in my hands.
"Fili! Kili!"
A brush of sensation against my left cheek and I looked back just in time to see Dwalin take Kili by the shoulder and lead him away, "Come on, give us a hand!"
"Mr. Dwalin!"
As a host I was happy enough that they all knew each other and did not need any sort of introductions from me but equally as a host I was horrified by the fact that they seemed to be doing some rearranging with my furniture in my dining room! I scurried close on their tail, overwhelmed by the addition of Balin's voice across my other cheek, giving them instructions to move the table a certain way because how else would they get everyone in?
"Everyone?!"
I protested because just the very idea of anymore dwarves coming into my home and – Augh! Even just the thought that there were more of them with voices like Fili and Kili's made me want to protest and throw them all out, manners definitely be damned!
By Yavanna, I was a hobbit lass and even though I entertained men when I was younger and more "adventurous", I was certainly not about to be felt up by any more voices! No! Not today! Not ever, thank you!
"How many more are there!?"
I tried to scuffle inside the dining room but Dwalin blocked me effortlessly, his bulky form easily towering over me and keeping me back as I was helpless but to watch as Kili and Fili picked up my table and started to move it. The jingle of my doorbell was just the very last straw! I would have no more visitors tonight! No! None at all!
Quickly I turned around to send back my newest arrivals, scampering off in a huff that made my hair tickle impossibly, "Ah! Oh no! No no! There's nobody home!"
Still burdened by the heavy load of weapons that Fili and Kili deposited onto me, I realized I could hardly answer the door in such a way. I was so upset by everything by that point as well that I was quite fed up and decided to just deal with my utter disregard for manners and what propriety would demand of me.
"Go away," I dumped Fili's swords (and everything that was placed on top of the scabbard) first as they were taking up all my arms, not even caring if they clanged horribly on my nearby furniture. I did not care at all anymore! His knife collection soon followed, "- and bother someone else!"
Kili's bow and quiver went the same way, loudly crashing into a pile as I made my way back towards my foyer and the door that would contain even more of my unwanted and uninvited guests! I was ranting and raving about there being far too many dwarves already in my dining room and I was calling people clotheads and itching my head roughly with how frustrated I was! I was a hobbit! A proper hobbit lass and what was happening to me right now was anything but polite! Who was even the cause of all this madness?!
I gripped the door, ready to turn everyone away at the step but as soon as I swung it open, I stumbled back out of shock because it wasn't just one or two dwarves but rather a whole throng of them! A throng of dwarves on my doorstep now tumbling into my home all on top of the other! They were groaning and moaning at people to move their limbs and get off of them and their voices tingled against my skin in an incomprehensible nightmare of sensations and I just wanted it to stop!
I looked up and stumbled upon my words; there peaking down into my hobbit hole was the unassuming but complete disturber of the peace himself Gandalf, who exactly very much was he.
"Gandalf..."
Truly he did inform the others...