Thank you all so much for reviewing! 200 review milestone, everyone- THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! Love you guys! :D

This chapter's pretty light, honestly- which is a long time in coming in this fic, so you guys can just relax for this one. More angst and recovery will really start soon!

When Roy woke up, the first thing he realized was that he wasn't in a hospital anymore.

The second thing he realized was that the blue jacket was still in his arms, and for several moments, that was all he was mentally capable of caring about.

Roy buried his face in the, admittedly itchy, wool, inhaling deeply. It took him several long moments to remember that he had the freedom to move, that there weren't restraints on him, and that reality was so bewildering he found himself unsure of what to do except just to hold the jacket tighter.

It had been too long since he'd had that freedom for him to even know what to do with it anymore.

Roy lay there for several seconds, only realizing when the stillness just dragged on that he had to be alone. After all, he clearly wasn't asleep anymore, yet no one had said anything to him or made any noise. He frowned a little, still gripping the jacket, reluctant to break this strange facade of calmness that felt so foreign to him, then at last just forced himself to wake up and pry open his eyes.

He definitely was not in a hospital anymore.

This was… a bedroom. A normal bedroom, in a normal house, with a bed, and a desk, and a bookshelf right in the corner of his eye. No more white walls with peeling paint chips. It was dark brown wood and neat and smelled- well- not clean. Not poisoned with antiseptics. Not like a hospital. And the bed he was in didn't feel like a hospital's, either; it was actually soft and, and warm, too, legitimately comfortable, and he would've just closed his eyes and sunk right back into it if he hadn't been so surprised.

He remembered Maes telling him this, yesterday. Telling him that they were going to take him and Ed out of the hospital and move them somewhere safe. But he'd never actually considered… never believed…

Roy breathed in deeply again, hugging the blue jacket back to his chest. Maes was his friend. He could trust Maes. He had to believe that, right? Maes, so far, had done nothing to make Roy distrust him, so…

So, if he trusted Maes…

That meant Ed was here.

Roy's bandaged hands clenched in the (blue) fabric again, and without any further hesitation, he opened his eyes wide and sat up fully.

And Ed was right there.

There he finally was.

Alive, and if not well, at least in one piece.

Relief expanded so fast and hard inside of him he felt as if he might burst.

There Ed was, lying across from him and curled up loosely on his side, and he wasn't restrained either. No, he was just as free as Roy was, tucked underneath a thick blanket and breathing deeply enough that he could see it from across the room. Alive and as healthy as Roy could've expected and, and just-

Ed was right there. He was actually… safe.

Relief expanded in Roy's chest again, so explosively he nearly laughed aloud, and a smile spread across his face that was too strong for him to even try to hide.

I knew I could trust Maes.

I knew it.

I knew it.

Roy shifted carefully, only tangentially aware of his own injuries as he maneuvered himself upright. A voice in the back of his mind cautioned him, reminding him that Ed had to be exhausted and just leaving him to sleep for now would be best, but Roy had just spent too long worried about him and his hesitation was flat out overrode by his relief to see him alive and safe. "Fullmetal," he called gently, lurching slowly to his feet, barely even feeling the pain of it. There was a desk chair nearby and he grabbed for it gratefully, pulling it away from the wall to drop heavily down into it. Maes' jacket stayed slung over his broken arm, resting heavily against the cast like a warm, reassuring weight, and he found himself pressing it even closer to his chest as he moved next to Ed, calling his name again.

That was all it took, to get him to wake up.

Ed squinted sleepily, blinking at first, but was jolting awake just as quickly as Roy had when he found himself somewhere new. "What-" he spluttered instantly, almost flailing, jerking around with wide, shocked eyes, "w-where-"

"It's okay," Roy promised, though Ed was already not even listening to him, just staring wildly around the room in disbelief and something close to panic. "It's okay," he said again, hand on his arm, still battling back an almost disbelieving smile until Ed finally turned back to look at him, breathing hard and shaking.

"B- bastard?" he stammered, gaping.

Roy nodded all but gleefully back.

Ed blinked several times again, just staring at him like he wasn't sure what to believe as real. He sat slowly back as he shook his head, not in denial but in confusion, then abruptly swiveled back around to face him, raising his hand. "Wait, did you get my message?! Roy, listen, Roy, Al said they're okay- they let me talk to him, he was on the phone and he promised they were okay, I told them to tell you- it's Al, Roy, and he said it was okay, they're safe-"

"I know, I know. They told me, Fullmetal; it got through." He hesitated, still smiling, unsure of how to reassure him, then just raised the heavy, blue jacket up as proof. "It got through."

Ed's eyes widened again, landing first on the jacket then jerking back to him, gaze confused and almost glazed with fatigue or pain or uncertainty. "What-" he mumbled blankly, looking as if this was all moving too fast for him to even comprehend; he reached a hand out unsurely, pulling at the fabric, then blinked back up at him. "It's-…"

"Let's both of us just calm down," Roy laughed, lowering the jacket and reaching out to lower Ed's hand as well. "I think things are a lot better now than we might've been willing to think." Unable to really help himself, Roy got up again, this time awkwardly maneuvering himself so he could sit by Ed's side, both to be closer to him and to better be able to protect him if something happened.

Ed nodded slowly, jerkily again, his eyes still a bit too wide to really reassure him but at least he was remaining somewhat calm. He didn't flinch away when Roy joined him, either, giving him the opportunity to subtly lean back, narrowing his eyes to try and get a better look at the wounds on his back.

Bandaged, yes, but… they looked okay, he surmised. No blood leaking through, and they looked recently changed as well. It seemed Maes and the others had been taking care of Ed as well as they could. He couldn't have expected Ed to have been perfectly healed in just three days, after all; was just glad he was doing as well as he was…

"What… what happened to you?"

Roy blinked, gaze pulled away from Ed's back to look down at the kid on the heels of the slow, almost horrified words. Ed was staring at the bandages around his hand- and some of that empty fear that had painted his face before shifting now into a shadow of rage.

"Did… they do that to you?" he went on again, voice a hoarse sort of stammer as he now stared at the cast, his eyes widening like he'd just been struck across the face with it. "Is that- that wasn't there last time I- did they hurt you?! I'll- I swear to god, I'll-"

It took Roy a few moments to understand the horror in his voice, the way his relief had suddenly just morphed into something awful, but the moment he did he moved forward again, reaching his hand out and shaking his head. "No- no, Fullmetal, it's okay. Calm down, all right? Just calm down- they didn't hurt me. They're safe, remember? You can trust Al," he promised, touching his arm gently with his good hand… even when seeing that distrustful, scared, almost wild look in his eyes made his heart lurch painfully all over again.

He hadn't wanted to see that look on Ed's face ever again.

"It's okay," he promised again. "It was hurt before- the last time we saw each other. Maes… these people just actually treated it. We can trust them."

You can trust Al, and I can trust Maes.

Ed lowered his eyes for a moment, biting his lip and clearly absolutely torn no matter whatever had happened the day before to make him trust these people. Roy held his breath for just a moment before moving a little bit closer, carefully situating the heavy jacket over both their shoulders and drawing his good arm gently around Ed's back. The jacket wasn't really big enough to fit them both, so he let Ed have the majority while he tightly clutched at the hem and sleeve.

"You'll be okay, Fullmetal," he said quietly, letting Ed just get his bearings the same way he had. "I promise."

Ed was silent for several moments longer, not looking up but at least leaning a little more into him, clutching carefully at the jacket the same way Roy was. Finally, with a slightly unsteady, shuddering breath, he raised his head again to frown around the room, narrowing his eyes at the unrecognizable space and mouth slipping into a grimace. "Where are we?" he queried, poking at the soft bed.

Roy shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't know." He glanced back around the room himself, hoping for more clues, something, but… "It looks a little like a child's bedroom. Maybe it's yours."

Ed tensed immediately, a little growl emerging from his throat just as an elbow met his already sore side, just the way Roy had been hoping for. "I'm not a kid," he snapped up at him, the tension and fear from before lessened if not entirely gone, and Roy could barely hide his own small grin as he shifted around, going for the bookcase that was just within reach and squirming the nearest book out.

"See, I told you!" he proclaimed, handing it over. "This is a kid's textbook, for school- unless History of Amestris is just some light reading people do for fun around here. And I bet," he said, flipping it open, "it belongs to y- …oh."

The book did indeed seem to be the property of a child.

However, Edward Elric was not the name scrawled inside the front cover.

After several surprised, wordless seconds, he felt rather than actually saw Ed's highly amused gaze land back on him, and when he spoke, he could just hear the smirk on his voice alone.

He'd meant to help Ed relax.

He hadn't meant for this.

"Which one of us is the kid now, bastard?" he drawled smugly. Roy was glad he was so transfixed on the cover he couldn't glance over to see the look on his face.

Because, in small, cramped, untidy letters, a backwards R included, was property of Roy Mustang.

"…This is clearly quite ancient," he muttered at last, coughing. He suddenly felt incredibly hot. "Perhaps it belonged to me once, but only many… many years ago, and-"

"Nah, I don't think so, bastard." Ed tugged the book firmly back into his lap and hugged it close like a dog would a favorite treat, snickering under his breath again. "This explains everything, if you think about it! I'm really the adult here, and you're just the little kid!"

"Fullmetal, now, really-"

"I'm smarter than you, and older than you, and taller than you, and you ought to listen to your elders, bastard," he laughed, even as he pulled his half of the jacket tighter around himself and leaned more against Ed's side. "Hey- maybe that's it! Maybe that's how we know each other! Maybe I'm your dad."

"Of- of all the ludicrous things-" he sputtered, face flaming even hotter. What had Maes said he had? Pneumonia? Yes, that was it, just the fever, obviously- "Fullmetal, it's quite apparent-"

"Oh? Are you back talking me now? Your father?"

"You look like you're twelve! If anything you're my son, not-"

"That's it, go to your room," Ed announced, beaming and snickering even while Roy's face continued to stubbornly flame embarrassment. "You clearly need to learn your lesson about being disrespectful to your elders. Son."

Roy sat back with a heavy groan, closing his eyes almost painfully and not even caring at the bolt of pain that shot through his spine the moment the burns hit the wall. "Fine, fine," he grunted sourly, refusing to look even as Ed continued to lose it next to him. "Considering we already seem to be in my room anyway, I'll just stay right here," you unrepentant brat… He coughed again, this time feeling the pain of it in his chest, and glanced awkwardly around the room again while Ed finally calmed down, sobered by the realization that at least now, they knew where they were.

"I guess this is my house, then," he murmured. "My parents' house? Something."

"…yeah," Ed mumbled back. He paused for a moment, warm under Roy's arm, squinting as he looked around the small space. "We… we should look around. Shouldn't we? Make sure it's really safe here…"

Roy nodded in agreement. As much as he wanted to trust Maes- well, Maes wasn't here. As far as he could tell, nobody was. But if Maes wasn't here that meant Roy had to protect himself and Ed, and he wasn't really that keen on just sitting around waiting to see whatever this place had in store for them.

"I agree." Clearing his throat, he moved back to stand, shrugging the jacket fully around himself now and waiting for Ed to follow. "Where's Al? Do you know?"

Ed shook his head while still looking away, carefully and awkwardly beginning to shift around but clearly in some amount of pain already. "He was only on the phone. He said he was on his way here but it'd take another day… he stayed on the phone with me all night, actually. Last thing I remember was just- just listening to him talk." He hesitated again, a small, weak thing of a smile slipping across his face, one that was heartwarming in its sincerity, that stubborn wall of his finally melting just enough for Roy to see the vulnerability hiding behind it. "He said he was my brother, bastard."

In that moment, he looked so honestly happy that Roy's heart clenched.

"…I'm glad," he said quietly back, swallowing tightly. Brother. Ed had a brother.

Good for you, Fullmetal. Good for you.

Ed nodded again, not looking at him but smile so big it was blinding, and just by that look on his face, Roy knew that they had both found everything that they'd been looking for.

"Come on," he said again after several moments, gripping Ed's hand a little tighter with his own bandaged one. "Let's get going."

Ed started to move again, curling up a little, but then abruptly gasped and stiffened, smile twisting into a pained cry. He stuttered out another gasp again, hand jerking away from Roy's even as Roy moved back forward in alarm, reaching for him as he saw the blood drain from his face and the pain in his eyes no matter how hard the kid was trying to hide it. "I-" the kid gasped, "I-"

"It's okay," Roy told him, instantly switching course. He was afraid to touch him just yet, not wanting to hurt him any worse but couldn't stop himself from attempting the motion half a dozen times, wanting to get him lying down again, relaxed, anything to feel better. "Hey, it's okay, you don't have to-"

"No, I- y-you can't alone- I can do it, I promise-"

But it was obvious that he couldn't.

He was in pain, just like Roy was, but he was in worse pain; all of Roy's own injuries were barely an afterthought compared to the burns on his back, and Ed's were so much worse than his had been. Just by the look on his face alone it was too much for him, and Roy wasn't going to tell him to just grit his teeth and bear it- not again, not now that they were safe, not now that Roy could finally truly protect him. "It's okay, we don't have to," he said over Ed's gasps, still afraid to touch him but grabbing the blanket instead, pulling it closer to him to try and encourage him to relax. "We're safe here. We don't have to go anywhere, not if you can't do it."

"N-no- no, we h-have to, I-" he moaned, voice tight with pain, "I have to-"

"No," he ordered sternly, sitting back down on the bed beside him. "Al said these people were safe. We're going to have to trust that, Fullmetal- if you're too hurt then that's fine; I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you alone here." As badly as he wanted to explore this place, he'd never stand up and leave a hurt Ed alone to do so. At least this way, if danger came, it'd find them together. Roy would be able to stop it.

"No, b-bastard, wait-"

"I said I'm not going anywhere, Fullmetal; deal with-"

"You're awake."

Roy gasped so hard he nearly choked, and before he could process any more than the shock of it, Ed was behind him and his one good arm was held out to protect him. In the same moment he heard Ed gasp, too, the injured boy jerking as away from the voices as he could get, a tiny, almost brokenly scared noise coming from his throat, and Roy steeled himself to face their newest threat.

Two women stood in the doorway.

One was younger, around his age, maybe. Standing there pale-faced and uncertain, wearing too much makeup with her light hair fancily stylized and what looked like a fancy dress hidden under an old, long jacket, watching him and Ed with uncertain eyes and holding a tray before her, two steaming bowls waiting. One was older, at least twice his age and a head taller, again looking as if she was dressed for a party but smirking down at them both, watching them with a knowing sort of look that made part of Roy distinctly uncomfortable.

The last time he'd met an unfamiliar woman…

That Gracia…

A nurse…

"I'd always heard you two bickered like cats and dogs, but I'd never seen it for myself before now. I have to admit, I'm not surprised."

Roy tensed again, arm held out between her and Ed still not wavering in the slightest. He glanced between the two of them suspiciously, apprehension gathering in his throat, and curled his fingers just a bit tighter around the jacket. "Where's Maes?"

"On his way here," the older woman said, giving Roy's previously occupied, now empty bed a glance before stepping further into the room. "He said we might want to wait for him, but I figured you two would be hungry enough for us to risk your hostility." She nodded to her friend, who uncertainly proceeded into the room herself to set the bowls down on Roy's old bed, and leaving Roy even more uncomfortable than before.

The way they were both acting… the way they were looking at him…

"I don't know you," he said abruptly.

Both women paused.

Roy swallowed hard, shifting a little closer back to Ed and unsure why he was suddenly so adamant on pronouncing it, but the words were already coming out and he couldn't stop them. "I don't know if Maes told you, but I… don't remember much. I'm sorry if- if we know each other, but… I don't remember you. I don't… know who you are."

They both stopped again, sharing a glance that he couldn't quite figure out.

Then, the older woman once again unleashed a broad smirk down on him, and the younger one actually laughed.

"Well, you didn't know me when we first met, either, and things worked out just fine. So I imagine things will work out fine now, too. I'm Christmas, and this one here," she gestured at the girl, who had already raised a hand in greeting, "is Vanessa. Nice to meet you again, Roy-boy."

Roy, once again, found himself incapable of little more than a stunned blink.

…Roy-boy?

"U- um," he stammered blankly, working his jaw.

From behind him, Ed leaned out just a little more, staring up at the two and clearly just as shocked as he was. "…Christmas?" he asked, voice small but not quite as fearful, and the hand clenched in the back of Roy's shirt loosened.

"Yes. Chris Mustang, if you must know, but Christmas for short, and no one's called me by my full name in twenty years, so if you do I won't answer to it."

Roy stiffened, disbelief warming his face in contrast to the embarrassment of before. "You're-" He stared this Chris up and down, then Vanessa, then Chirs again, his heart pounding. "…are you my mother?"

He didn't remember her.

He looked at her hard, staring at every last detail, raking his eyes up and down-

And he just didn't know her.

"Mother?" Chris laughed loudly, smile broadening, and Roy couldn't help but flinch back no matter how much he didn't want to. "I suppose you could say that. Again, though, just call me Christmas."

Vanessa, next to her, frowned, proceeding forwards herself to thrust one bowl at Roy, then the other, a little more gently, at Ed. "That's not helpful right now, Madame. Roy, you're adopted. So am I. No blood relation between anybody in this room."

Roy blinked uncomfortably, the sudden wash of new information almost overwhelming. He shifted, trying to process it all, then shook himself to move out of Ed's way, moving his arm back around his side just as the kid looked up at Christmas and Vanessa again.

"Not… not even from me?"

Both of their expressions softened, and Roy found himself pulling the kid just a little bit closer to his side at the vulnerability in his voice.

Chris, this time, was the one to answer, giving him a weaker version of the broad smile she'd given Roy. "Not quite, I'm afraid. We've actually never met before, Ed- although I have heard a lot about you from this one," she gestured at Roy, and Vanessa abruptly looked away to try and hide a laugh. "You don't quite measure up to the terrifying picture my boy was painting, but then again, Roy always was an overdramatic child." She moved forward as well to sit on the other bed and somehow Roy found himself helpless to do anything but start to relax, the tight hold around Ed's shoulders loosening and the tenseness in his chest easing at the sheer, impossible familiarity of it all… "He ran into his sister's arms sobbing with a papercut."

…even as he was apparently sassed and mocked into oblivion.

"O-oh," he stammered, face heating up yet again. Being here was not good for his health, he thought.

"By the way," she continued on, gazing at them with a critical eye, "you two should both stop huddling under the blankets like that. Roy, at least take off your jacket. You're both still sick and as tempting as it may be, burying yourself under blankets won't get rid of a fever. You're in quite possibly the safest building in the whole city right now, but there's really not much I can do for you."

Roy clenched his fist back tighter in the jacket reflexively, the smallest beginnings of panic stirring inside of him. He shrunk back just as Ed shook his head, clinging closer both to Roy and the blankets no matter the odd stares it got them both.

"No," they both said together, though Ed was the only one to go on, "I'm freezing."

Chris sighed, frowning at them again. "If that's so, then at least stop cuddling up to each other like a pair of dogs. That's not helping anything at all."

Roy tensed again and felt Ed tense, too, the very prospect of being separated just the antithesis to everything that he wanted in this moment. He could tell Ed felt exactly the same way when he turned to look down at him, the reluctance and almost alarm plain his eyes- but this time Roy looked past it, scrutinizing his face for what his- apparently adoptive mother- was talking about. And he saw them. Ed wasn't just tired but was plainly unwell, too, skin too warm, face flushed and even in the low light, very faintly shiny with sweat… maybe his inability to get out of bed earlier wasn't just because he was in too much pain, but was too sick, as well…

If this Madame Christmas was right, Roy wasn't really doing any Ed any good sitting this close to him.

He clenched his jaw reluctantly, staring down at Ed's wide, nervous eyes and trying to find the best way to do this.

"…Fine," he said at last, forcing himself to move back even when that made the worry on Ed's face shoot into alarm. "Just for now," he half pleaded, silently begging Ed to understand as he carefully removed the physical contact between them, leaving only a bandaged hand on his arm and just as silently daring the madame from saying anything about it. I'm not going anywhere this time, Fullmetal.

Behind them, the madame huffed again. "You're just as stubborn as always. Well, if you're going to be stubborn, can you both at least eat? You both look as if you need it, and I'm not really interested in trying to spoonfeed that one," she gestured at Roy a second time, "again."

Roy scowled and sputtered in the same moment, breaking gaze with her with the excuse of looking at the bowl in his lap. He wished Maes were back. The soup looked good, at least, warm in his hand and with a strange smell he couldn't quite identify but that made his stomach growl, all the same. It was only now that he actually thought about it that he realized he hadn't eaten in weeks. Not since Justin had found the sedatives they'd been hiding and every last bit of freedom they'd had had been taken away, and based off the way he'd found Ed, he suspected Fullmetal was in the exact same situation as he was. Obviously they must've been given nutrients in the constant injections until now, but- but-

God damn that didn't compare to actually eating.

He went for it, tentatively at first, half of him wanting to devour the whole bowl in one go but the other half too afraid of upsetting his already queasy stomach, but when the second tiny spoonful settled easily his third was the biggest bite that he could. He turned to share a warm glance with Ed, only to find him even more tentative about it than he was, biting his lip and spoon still clutched uncertainly; Roy squeezed his arm confidently, trying to reassure him. "It's good, trust me. Maybe not the Xingese food I promised you, but- it's something, right?"

Christmas laughed again, although this time Roy was too busy devouring his next bite to let himself be distracted. "It actually is Xingese. Well- chicken noodle, if you must know, but with Xingese spices to make it worth it. Maybe it's not orthodox, but I've been feeding that to Roy for over two decades; I think it's safe enough for you to eat, Ed."

The words again made him curious, provoking another dozen or two questions that hovered just behind his tongue, but at the moment he was just too busy filling his stomach and making sure Ed did the same to care. It took another few moments for Ed to cautiously trust this stranger enough to take the first bite- but Ed, like Roy, did not need any more encouragement than that to tuck in.

Ed, somewhat miraculously, considering he only had one hand, was by far the sickest among them, and was half Roy's size, somehow managed to spoon up so much he quickly surpassed Roy and then just kept on going. Laughing quietly, Roy returned to his own bowl, not quite caring enough to make a spectacle of himself as he continued eating, but this time, with his questions back on his mind.

"Can we slow down for a moment?" he asked, carefully leaning his injured back a little more against the headboard. "We really don't know what's going on here- neither of us do. No one's really answered our questions in… well, months. We're a bit lost."

Christmas sighed deeply, sharing a tense look with his sister. "Hughes asked that we wait until he gets here with the others to answer those sorts of questions, and I'm inclined to agree with him on this. This is a complicated enough situation as it is; no need to confuse things by having the two of us giving potentially conflicting answers."

"But no one's telling us anything!" Ed exclaimed suddenly, at last seeming comfortable enough in what was going on to speak out. He shifted forward, Roy's hand still on his arm but looking as if he wanted to start waving his hand around any second now. "We're just asking for some answers! Why do we have to wait for that?! You know everything about us- we barely even know ourselves! You- you said that I knew the bastard, didn't you? At least tell us that much!"

Christmas frowned again. "Tell you what?"

"How we know each other!"

Then, just like that, their faces fell.

It was very quick, at least, and even more quickly hidden. He wouldn't have even seen it if he hadn't been watching them so closely. But it happened, both of them- one moment both Christmas and Vanessa just watching them with veiled amusement in their eyes, and then the next, that amusement was gone, and replaced by a shared, deep sadness.

Then it was gone all together, hidden by a hard mask as Christmas looked back at them, all traces of her earlier smile gone. "You really don't remember, then."

"…remember what?"

"Anything," Vanessa said, her voice small.

Roy stopped, the gravity of that word alone sticking like a heavy weight in his gut. He swallowed uncomfortably, mouth suddenly dry, and found himself lowering the spoon down with a heavy hand, unsure of what to say.

This, supposedly, was his adoptive mother. He was supposed to have known her for almost his entire life. Ed, too, apparently, he'd known long before ending up in that hospital.

And he didn't remember anything about it.

A look in Ed's direction, a single quick glance, was all he needed to confirm that Ed felt the same way.

Neither one of them did.

"…You're twenty-nine years old," Christmas said finally, nodding at him and again without a trace of a smile. "Ed, you're fifteen. Both of you are alchemists working for the military; the reason you know each other is because Roy here has been Ed's superior for around three years, now. Ed, from what I understand your history is a little… complicated, so I don't think I'm the right person to be answering any questions for you. As for you, Roy… some questions are left better unanswered."

Roy stiffened again, hands clenching again in his lap. And just what the hell did that mean?

"Trust me, kid," Christmas implored, her heavy gaze meeting his again. "Let us just look into what's causing this for now. Once you've got your memories back, none of these questions will matter anyway- so just trust me when I say you don't want me to try and explain it now."

Which, of course, did absolutely nothing to squash his rising, almost poisonous curiosity. In fact, Roy was pretty damn sure that made it quite a bit worse.

What was so bad or complicated she just wouldn't say? What was in his past, what had he done, that she wouldn't tell him?

The suppressed, murky memories of fire came to him again, the screams of the country he'd destroyed, Ed's blood-spattered face from when he had to have savagely chopped his limbs off, the screams of Riza Hawkeye as he burned her alive.

His stomach turned again, and suddenly, Roy found himself regretting that soup.

He remembered more than Christmas thought he did, and just off those few fragments- she was right.

It was probably better that he didn't know.

But he would. Some day, he would. If she wouldn't tell him, he'd find somebody else. Somebody, somewhere, someday, would tell him what he'd done.

He couldn't live without knowing.

But right now, with Ed practically sitting in his lap, unwell and in pain, was not the time.

"…Okay," he murmured, voice as falsely sincere as he could make it. "Okay. I'll-"

There were footsteps in the hallway.

Another person. Again.

Roy clenched Ed's arm tighter again, just on reflex, and knew Ed had heard the exact same thing that he had when he started to lean closer into Roy's side. They both pulled away from the door, Roy's heart hammering as his throat abruptly tightened, something close to panic rising from his stomach and chilling him with fear.

Step… step… step… he's getting closer… he's almost here… he's-

"Good morning!"

Roy jumped, heart skipping another beat, and this time instead of panic, it was a broad smile that he was unable to stop.

"Maes," he said, and beamed.

Then, jolting, he glanced back at Ed, squeezing his arm when he saw the kid was no less relaxed than before. "It's okay," he cautioned, still beaming and simply unable to stop. "Maes is safe. He's okay." He squeezed his arm again even as his gaze was dragged back towards the door where Maes was waiting, staring up at him in something close to wonderment. You came back, he wanted to say, disbelieving and almost shocked, you actually came back, but instead all that came out was, "G-good morning."

Maes' own smile broadened, partly in relief, Roy thought, relief that he still remembered him. Roy just hugged his jacket a little tighter, curling his sore fingers around the blue as he looked him over. He looked much the same as last night, but now another dark blue jacket was slung over his arms rather than his shoulders- actually, if Roy thought about it, he looked even better now, more well-rested, and Roy could only figure that was due to him.

He smiled again, some uncertain, warm affection spreading in his chest, and hugged the jacket just a little closer.

"Well," Maes announced, stepping a little further into the room. "You both look like you've slept well."

Roy nodded twice, swallowing another bold grin. He had. Best sleep he'd had in months, actually- probably the first time he'd slept without nightmares or something close to them since waking up in that hospital.

"Good. I'm glad." Maes at last fully moved inside, and that blond lieutenant from the day before, Havoc, followed him too, wearing that same blue jacket that meant Roy knew he could trust him, and then Maes was before him, and holding out the blue jacket slung over his arm. "Got something for you, Roy."

Roy blinked dumbly.

"A… another jacket?" he finally asked, reaching out hesitantly. With the cast on his arm, it was hard, but he managed to fumble to grasp the blue wool. Another jacket… for Ed, maybe?

But Maes shook his head, still grinning a little. "No- your jacket, Roy."

And now, he was even more confused. "But this is mine," he said bringing his arm back around his own. Wasn't it? Maes had given it to him, just last night. He'd let him have it… it was his, wasn't it…?

"No, Roy, remember?" Maes sighed. "I loaned that one to you. This one is actually yours. I went through some of your things last night and dug it out." He shook it out, trying to hand it over again, and Roy was left to just squint his eyes at it and stare.

It looked… similar, at least. Both his jacket and the one Maes was holding had a complicated array of stars and stripes, golden braids and medals; he wasn't sure if they were exactly the same, he wasn't even sure what was on Maes' and he'd been holding it all night- but they looked the same. The same heavy blue wool. The same size. The same clinking brass buttons, stiff collar, long sleeves… "They look the same," he observed steadily, burying his fingers in the warm cloth, the material he'd been hugging close for hours, now, the first comfort he'd had in weeks.

Maes blinked in surprise, glancing down at the two jackets himself with a grudging frown. "Well… well, maybe, but you-"

"If they're the same," he said firmly, "I want this one, then."

"What? Wait- no, you can't, Roy, they're not the same-"

"They look the same."

"But they're not! Roy-" Maes stopped, frowning again in amused frustration. "Roy, look-"

"If they look the same, why can't you wear that one, and I just keep this one?" he countered, reasonably, he thought. After all, they looked identical to him. There was no difference in which one Maes wore- and Roy wanted to keep this one. The one Maes had given to him.

The first proof that he was home.

Maes stared at him again, his jaw clenched and head tilted to the side. Havoc, behind him, looked incredibly amused, almost like he was about to start laughing. "Because, you- I… damn it, Roy…"

Well, that sounded a hell of a lot like defeat to him, and he was going to take that. Grinning, Roy clutched the jacket even closer to his chest, sandwiching it behind the cast again even as Maes smacked a hand to his face and shook his head. "So… I can keep this one, then?" he pressed, pressing it to his heart. It was his. His blue.

Maes, for several seconds, just stared at him inscrutably, saying nothing, doing nothing. Just long enough that Roy's own hopes started to falter, fist around the wool weakening, and his heart falling.

Then, with a loud, long-suffering sigh, obviously overdramatic sigh, he gave in.

"Fine," he groaned, and Roy beamed.

"But," he then stressed, still mock glaring at him, "if I get arrested for impersonating a superior officer, you'd better show up at the court martial in my defense, Roy. You don't get to steal my personal property and frame me for it."

Roy sat back once again, hugging the jacket with one arm and still touching Ed's arm with the other, warm relief flooding through him once again even though he didn't quite know why. Superior officers. Military. So, that was how he knew Maes, then. This jacket- it must've been their uniform.

"God," Maes sighed, looking as if he was trying to glare but couldn't quite stop himself from smiling. "I've missed you, you absolute moron," and Roy, once again, couldn't stop himself from grinning back.

Regardless of everything else that he was still so completely lost on- Maes was his home just like Al was Ed's. He was sure of it.

"All right," Maes announced after several awkward moments, clearing his throat. "First thing's first. Neither of you need to worry, now- Madame Christmas' bar is probably the safest place in the city right now. No one can touch you here. But we don't want to take any chances at all, so-" He glanced over his shoulder, then started as if surprised by what he saw. "Damn it, the lieutenant's getting the gloves from the car, I thought she was here already- Havoc, do you know where-"

Maes' question was overrun by more footsteps, these softer than before. This time Roy was ready for the newcomer, though, and he forced himself to relax and could feel Ed doing the same next to him as the next person entered the room that was already becoming a bit cramped. He couldn't see her face at first, but recognized her as another one of the military, based off her blue uniform, and another wave of relief washed through him-

"I apologize for the wait, sir."

-and his heart stopped.

Riza Hawkeye.

It was Riza Hawkeye.

He recognized her. He knew it was her. Out of everybody else he'd seen since escaping from that hospital- her face was the only one he knew. It was her exactly, that face he'd first discerned when they'd locked him in that padded room that hadn't stop haunting him since. The woman who'd taught him his array and the woman he'd burned alive with it, the woman who'd he tortured, betrayed, hurt-

Ria Hawkeye Riza Hawkeye Riza Hawkeye

I hurt her, so badly, over and over, it's her, it's HER-

She was the one. How was she the one? How was Riza Hawkeye one of the people he knew, how could she wear that blue that he remembered was his family if he'd hurt her? What was she doing here, after what he'd done to her- how could she stand to be in the same room, how could she even look at him, how was she even alive, how could she, how could she, Riza Hawkeye Riza Hawkeye Riza-

"Roy?"

Riza Hawkeye, I hurt her, I burned her, Riza Hawkeye-

"Um, Roy? Are you all right?"

The words barely got through, some distant, lost part of him realizing he was being spoken to even while the rest of him panicked. He twitched and flinched back, still staring right up at Riza even now that every eye in the room was on him, even hers, even after what he'd done; he leaned closer to Ed, trying to reassure him he was okay even though he wasn't, not at all, not in the slightest… because he'd hurt her…

"Roy?" someone said again, and- Maes. It was Maes. "Are you… okay? Do you- do you remember something?"

His hands tingled with the old memory of heat, and it was a goddamned war to even manage to speak.

Even Riza looked worried now.

"…A little," he finally choked out, and, tearing his gaze away from her at last, prayed to leave it at that.

There was another uncomfortable silence.

"…Well," Maes said at last, and he could hear just in his voice how disbelieving he really was. "Introductions, then. Roy, Ed- this is Jean Havoc. This is Riza Hawkeye."

Both the soldiers nodded in turn, neither looking exactly at ease. He vaguely heard Ed give some sort of uncomfortable hello by his side; Roy, for his part, was barely able to nod, the name Riza Hawkeye still echoing around his brain so loudly it was hammering the soul out of him.

"Now, as I was saying before," Maes went on, and Roy was still far too shaken to even care about the change of topic. "You're both safe here, but we don't want to take any chances at all, so- Roy, do you know if you can still use alchemy? Do you remember your array at all?"

"For your reference, sir," Riza said quietly, lifting up a suitcase by her side and opening it for him to see. She seemed almost in a hurry to lift it up so he could no longer see her, glad to have something between them- and if what he remembered had an ounce of truth, he couldn't blame her.

Then, however, his gaze was yanked onto the contents of the suitcase, and- oh.

Oh.

Inside the suitcase were several pairs of clean, pristine white gloves, each neatly strapped into place, obviously unused, and each with a red circle stitched into the back. It took him a moment, squinting across the small space, but then… the inscribed triangles… the salamander…

That was his array.

"Of course we can use alchemy," Ed started, "we're not idiots. I don't know about that array, but we both can."

Maes, however, did not seem very put at ease by that answer alone, instead watching Roy with heavy, veiled eyes. "Can you, Roy?"

Roy swallowed tightly. He didn't really want to admit that he couldn't use alchemy- especially not after Ed's proclamation- but, at least, in this situation, he didn't have to. "Yes," he forced out quietly, prying his eyes away from the array. "I can. I… think."

He'd killed his guards with it, after all.

Accidentally.

Maes frowned again, though, folding his arms. "That's not enough. We need a definite yes or you're not getting these gloves, Roy- no offense, but I really don't think we need to add any more injuries to what we're already dealing with."

"…I can. I- I already have before. I can."

The soldiers again all glanced at each other uncertainly; Roy swallowed hard, trying not to remember the dead, staring eyes of the guards he'd killed. He forced himself to let go of Ed's arm to hold his hand out for the gloves, trying to look confident, like he knew what he was doing; if it was between being helpless or having a weapon of murder in his hands- well, he'd take the second. It wasn't just himself he had to protect anymore.

Besides, he was pretty sure the weight on his conscience was so heavy he could take a few more deaths, if that was what it took to keep himself and Ed safe.

After another moment of scrutiny, Maes at last nodded to Riza, who immediately freed a single pair of gloves from the case. He tore his eyes away before they could meet hers, letting her place them in his bandaged hand; it took all his self control not to flinch when her fingers brushed his.

"Be careful with those," Maes cautioned. "Your hands are still hurt. Don't go snapping at everything just because you can now."

Roy nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Snapping. These gloves worked by snapping. Good to know. He looked down, grimacing heavily as he tried to work his gloves onto his sore, swollen, gauze-laden hands; Maes made a small noise of concern but he managed to get the first one, albeit with much work, and it was clearly lumpy, not fitting well. The other, his hand was just too hurt; he settled for just gripping it for now, planning to find something to do with it later.

He'd learn to use these. Either alone, or with Ed, but- he would.

He'd find out how. He'd defend himself.

He'd never let someone hurt him or Ed again.

"Well… what about me?" Ed asked, moving forward eagerly, looking around at the soldiers in the room. "Roy's got his gloves- do you have something for me?"

Roy perked up too, starting to smile. Hell, as willing as he was to protect Ed, he couldn't lie; he'd be relieved if Ed had something like this so he could fight back, too. And Ed was obviously better at this alchemy stuff than he was; if Ed had alchemy gloves like this, he'd probably be able to use them already, no practice needed.

The looks on the soldiers' faces, though, answered the question before any of them even had to speak.

It was Riza who spoke up this time, voice a little softer than he could've ever imagined but he couldn't look at her anyway, turning to watch Ed instead. "We're rather sure that your alchemy all requires your automail, Edward… there's nothing we can give you. None of us are alchemists, so, maybe, when Alphonse arrives, he-"

"Automail?"

"Ah… yes. Your automail." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Riza gesture first to her arm, then her leg, looking down at Ed in concern. "Your other limbs, Edward. …have you not had them this whole time?"

His other limbs?

By the look on Ed's face, the kid didn't know what she was talking about, either. He shook his head slowly, vacantly, and Roy tried to picture it just as he knew Ed had to be- because he'd only ever known Ed like this, one arm, one leg, but never, ever any lesser for it, but… automail?

Ed wasn't always like this?

He saw the light on Ed's face, saw his eyes brighten and his mouth start to smile, some of the heaviness that had always been vanishing like a switch had been flipped. He touched his empty shoulder, then truncated thigh almost frantically, smiling growing by the second, then jerked around to stare up at Roy, half hopeful and half amazed. "I knew I wasn't useless." First it was quiet, almost disbelieving, but then- "I knew it! I knew it!"

God. What? What? "Useless?" he asked, shaking his head. "Useless? Fullmetal, you- you absolute fool! What? You were never… Fullmetal, are you crazy? You figured out far more than I did, no matter how many limbs you had! Useless? In what universe-" God, in what world could Fullmetal actually think he was useless? Roy had all four of his limbs and what help had he been? "You brainless-" Shaking his head again, Roy dropped his arm around Ed's shoulders again, pulling him closer and fever be dammed.

"You brainless fool," he muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes.

It took Ed another few moments to shake off his shock, it seemed; finally, though, he nodded back, the sheer surprise clearing off his face in place of a broad, confident grin. "I did kick ass when we escaped, didn't I?" he asked, although it sounded less like a question and more a statement of fact. "More than you, I'd say."

Brainless fool.

Heartless asshole, too.

"Um… right," Maes said after an uncertain pause. Roy could hear the amused smile on his voice, although amused at what, he wasn't sure, and when he glanced up he was not at all surprised to see it on his face, too. "Well, it'll be a bit before we can see about your automail fixed, but- but we will. Don't worry, Ed, we will. But, in the meantime… we have some work to do."

There was something serious in those words, something that set off alarm bells in his head and a cold shiver running down his spine. Roy stiffened and Ed stiffened, too, both hearing the shift in his tone and the warning behind it- and just like that, Roy knew that the lightheartedness of this meeting was over.

If it had even been lighthearted since Riza stepped through the door.

Maes sighed, pushing at his glasses and averting his eyes. "We think the memory loss is related to alchemy. None of us are alchemists except for you two, so we're going to wait until tomorrow, when Al gets here, to try and work on that- but don't worry about it, either of you. We'll fix this, I promise."

"…Okay," Roy said guardedly, chest tightening anxiously. He didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to even consider his memories, or the fact that he hadn't been on the drugs from that hospital in several days, or what any of that meant. "What else, then?"

Maes even looked more tense than before. He glanced between him and Ed, eyes narrowed and features worried. "I understand you might be reluctant to talk about it, you two, but we really need to know as much as you can tell us about what happened to you, right now. I wish it could wait, but… we can't." He bit his lip, averting his eyes again in a way that was almost frightening- because as unsettled as Maes clearly was, that did nothing at all to put Roy at ease for what was coming.

"Um… why?" Ed asked, obviously just as wary as Roy.

Maes, once again, looked away. Riza and Havoc looked uncomfortable with the question as well, Havoc toeing at the floor while Riza was suddenly no longer meeting their eyes, all things that all but terrified Roy, and Ed, too, stiffened under his arm, just as wary as he was.

Finally, with a heavy, reluctant sigh, Maes spoke.

"Because Amestris is about to break out into a civil war," he began, looking up to them both. "And I think you two have been the ones funding it."