"Can we talk over text? I figured you might feel safer when you don't have to look at me."
Seth had tried writing her next morning. She had always been on his mind, but seeing her again the night before made it impossible for him to let go at all. He could see she read the text. That was a good sign. At least she hadn't blocked his number. She didn't answer though.
"I'm really sorry, and I'll prove to you that I've changed. I know I lost every right to even try to get back in your good book but I gotta try. Please, let me in, sweetheart."
To his surprise she actually answered his second text.
"You lost the right to call me sweetheart."
He smiled at the text. He didn't mind dealing with her anger as long as she answered. He typed out a cocky response that he knew probably had her smiling too when no one was around to see it.
"I'll earn it back. What do you want me to call you instead in the meantime? Baby? Honey? Sunshine?"
He didn't get a response but that was alright. He would see her later when they all went to the arena. She could try and dodge him but there was only so many places she could run and hide in the arena, and he knew every corner.
He went early to train with Roman. Being in rehab for months had him feeling like a rookie again. He needed the ring rust off him. It took a little time but soon he was back with all his classic moves. Roman sold them perfectly even though they were only training.
"See, you still got it," Roman said.
"It feels good," Seth said.
"Keep going," Roman said.
They locked up again, pushing each other a bit back and forward.
"Someone's watching," Roman said lowly.
He spun Seth around and put him in a sleeper hold.
"See," Roman said. "She's watching."
Seth looked straight ahead to see Juliette watching them from afar.
"Beat me up," Seth said.
"What?" Roman chuckled.
"She deserves to see me down," Seth said. "Superman punch and spear. Then cover."
Roman pushed Seth forward and ran in with a superman punch. Seth fell down and slowly moved back up on his feet, only to come crashing down again when Roman hit him with the spear. Roman rolled him up, lifted his leg and looked at Juliette.
"Count, Juliette!" He shouted.
She shook her head.
"Come on!" He laughed. "Before he kicks out!"
Seth expected her to walk away but suddenly her voice sounded close to the ring. She had walked down there to get closer.
"1... 2... 3!" She counted.
"Yes!" Roman pushed Seth's leg back down. "Eat it, sucker!"
Seth moved back up to stand and looked down at her.
"How did I look? Am I ready?" He asked.
"The same as always," she answered.
"So yes?" He asked.
"You already know the answer," she said.
She turned to walk away again. He jumped out of the ring and caught up with her in no time.
"I just wanna talk," he said.
She nodded, and they walked up the ramp side by side. He longed to take her hand and feel her skin against his like in the old days. It wasn't that long ago even though it felt like a lifetime.
"So have you thought about what I might call you?" He smirked.
"Juliette," she said.
"You're not making it easy for me," he said.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you had it so damn hard!" She snapped.
She stopped, crossed her arms and stared at him.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Do you know why I left you?" She asked.
"Because of what I did," he answered.
"And what did you do?" She asked.
"Come on, we both know what I did," he tried.
"What did you do?" She demanded to know.
He ran a hand through his hair and licked his suddenly dry lips. It was hard to talk about but he knew they couldn't just sweep it under the rug. Not if he wanted to get close to her again. He had to own up to his mistakes.
"I hurt you," he said.
"How?" She asked.
"I beat you," he looked down ashamed.
"Look at me!" She demanded. "Say it again!"
He shifted on his feet and looked up to meet her eyes. Her eyes were filled with tears just like his were.
"I beat you," he repeated.
"Do you think that's why I left you?" She asked.
"Yes," he answered.
"I left you because of what you did that final night," she said. "What did you do?"
"I don't remember," he shifted on his feet again. "I beat you again, and I know it got worse everytime, and I'm so fucking sorry, sweetheart. You gotta believe me. I wanna be part of your life again, even if it's only as your friend."
She shook her head and clicked her tongue. He could tell she was angry and hurt.
"Until you can actually say exactly what you did," she said. "Until you can actually say the damn words, you have no place back in my life."
"Hey guys," Roman came walking up. "Am I disturbing something?"
"No, you're just in time. Seth needs a friend apparently," she said. "And I'm not one."
She walked away and Seth leaned his back against the wall. He didn't care that Roman saw him cry.
"What was that all about?" Roman asked.
"She wants me to say it," Seth answered.
"Say what?" Roman asked.
"What I did to her. She wants me to put it down in words exactly what I did," Seth answered.
"So tell her. If you punched her three times, tell her that. You've already done the things you did. Might as well start talking about it so you both can heal," Roman said.
"It's not that simple," Seth said. "I was so fucked up on those pills. I don't remember half of what I did."
"So tell her what you do remember, and she might fill in the blanks," Roman said. "You know a simple sorry can't fix something like this. Imagine the fear and pain you put her through. Or at least try."
"I know," Seth slammed the back of his hands into the wall. "I'm such an idiot. How can I expect her to forgive me when I can't even forgive myself?"