I won't be including anyone from Legends of Awesomeness. Never got into it. This is movie universe only.
ch 6
Tigress woke to Tai Lung sitting before the fire at sunrise, his back to her. He stretched his arms above his head with a low growl of pleasure, then relaxed and lifted his nose to a sudden breeze. Closed his eyes and smiled, enjoying the wind on his face. This same wind carried the smell of his fire-warmed fur directly to Tigress, filling her with his scent - complete with that same delicious thing she'd detected before. Not delicious like food, but it filled her with a similar craving.
He didn't know she was awake. She took the opportunity to study him.
Tai Lung, perhaps feeling this, glanced over his shoulder at her. She shut her eyes to feign sleep. She heard a brief grunt of effort and the crunch of snow. She opened her eyes just as he landed, flipping to his feet, still facing away from her. He took a deep breath, shaking his limbs out. His shoulders were huge, the spots mesmerizing in the breeze. He bowed briefly to the plain, then did a series of backflips away from the fire, landing in a defensive pose. He ran through drills, the same warm-up drills she'd done every morning of her life under Shifu's instruction. He executed every move perfectly, gorgeously, punctuated by growls of effort that demanded her attention.
It grew uncomfortably hot in her sleeping roll. She shut her eyes against the vision of him for a moment, but opened them again. She slowly drew the covers up over her nose, trying to obscure her eyes. God forbid he see her watching him like this.
He kicked three times, punched, twice, flipped into the air, landed on one hand, spun and leapt to his feet. It was less like watching him train and more like watching him dance. He was so huge, yet so precise. So subtle.
She grew entranced.
Stop that, she scolded herself. Stop fluttering around like -
She winced. Grimaced. She turned in her bedroll, away from the vision of Tai Lung. Those words - Shifu's words - still cut through her like he'd said them yesterday.
I didn't even do anything, she thought. I just wanted to see him.
She'd only been thirteen when that lion, that man unlike anything she'd ever seen, strode up the stairs to the Jade Palace. He was tall and gold and dressed finely, his mane well manicured, a huge sword strapped to his back. She'd stopped in surprise before the gate. He told her he was there to see Master Shifu but she could barely hear his words. She'd never seen someone so beautiful. She stared. She didn't know better than to stare. This was entirely new. She'd never been so bodily arrested by another being, his voice, his eyes, his scent.
Tigress winced with the memory. He'd had to repeat himself. He was there to see her Master, he said again. She snapped to attention, stuttering- this - this way, follow me sir - barely able to walk straight she was so unable to tear her eyes from him. He smiled at her. She was thrilled, only seeing that his smile was kind, not that it was knowing.
She scampered ahead, thrust open the door to the training hall where Shifu struggled through his evening meditations.
Master! she called out. He turned, annoyed. Master, it's - it's - look!
Her stomach churned. She'd been so excited. Chirpy. As though Shifu should have been as thrilled about their handsome guest as she was.
Shifu gave her a look, came to the door and snapped to attention when he saw who it was.
Lord Xan! You've arrived early! I apologize that no one was there to receive you at the gate!
Not at all, I was greeted by your - the lion glanced at the entranced young Tigress and chuckled - your young one here.
Lord Xan turned and thanked her for her help, still with that knowing and kind smile. The sort you give to a child, Tigress now knew. Her little eyes widened and she tried to stutter a reply to this god, but only managed a nervous stutter. He was so beautiful.
Tigress, Shifu said.
She continued to hover, entranced, failing to realize that in his thanking her Lord Xan was also dismissing her so he might speak with Shifu privately.
Shifu's lips tightened the way they did when he was extremely displeased. He asked Lord Xan to go inside and he'd be with him momentarily. Once the lion was out of sight Shifu gestured her down to his level and hissed, his voice pure venom:
Stop fluttering around him like a lovesick little moth. Go back to the bunkhouse before you bring dishonor on the Jade Palace. Go!
Tigress turned to glass. Her master might as well have slid a cold dagger into her eye. She haltingly saluted him. Turned back to the bunkhouse as ordered, vibrating with shock. Shifu had never, ever spoken to her with such acid. His words carved into her, twisting her joy in Lord Xan into something sick and heavy. She didn't know exactly what she'd done wrong, but it must have been really wrong. She'd humiliated her Master. She'd threatened dishonor on her home. She went back to the bunkhouse and shut the door to her room behind her, then put her hands in fists and wept. Shifu had praised her just that afternoon and now she was awful. So shameful she'd nearly stained the very marble of a five hundred year old temple.
She swore never to so much as think of Lord Xan again. It didn't work, of course. She thought of him all the time. She never saw him again but he remained with her. Even years later she still thought of him at night, her hand moving between her legs, biting her lip to stay silent lest the paper bunkhouse walls reveal her. That was her secret - that much of him she guiltily kept- but in her waking life she'd firmly rebuffed anything that so much as resembled romantic attention, much to Shifu's approval. Her being impenetrable always pleased him. Made him proud.
Of course it wasn't difficult. No real challenge to her will was offered by the rabbits and geese of the Valley of Peace, or by her team, or other Masters she battled alongside when she was older. Lord Xan did not walk into her life every day.
"Are you going to stay in bed all morning?" Tai Lung asked. He stood over her, panting from his drills. He tutted. "Lazy lazy woman."
Tigress turned and looked up at him. He smiled down at her. Her heart fluttered.
Just like a lovesick little moth.
No, Tigress begged it. Please no.
Tai Lung frowned. "You all right?"
She shut her eyes. Hardened her heart.
"I'm fine," she said. "I'm getting up."
o
"Tell me about your bug friend," Tai Lung commanded.
It was midday. Though it was cold out the sun pounded down relentlessly.
"My bug friend?" Tigress startled. She'd spent the morning walking in silent disappointment with herself.
"Your bug friend. You have a tiny little bug on your team. When the four of you came running across the bridge I didn't understand what was holding it up. Imagine my surprise! I've never seen a warrior like that. Tell me about him."
Tai Lung's chin lifted to the breeze as he awaited his answer. He smiled slightly, perfectly pleased with himself and his surroundings, like a king looking confidently over his domain. It was a heartening sight. Tigress made herself look away. She shook her head and said nothing.
"You've gone quiet again," Tai Lung said.
"Why do you always insist on speaking to me?"
"Because I want to speak to you," he replied simply.
Tigress bristled. "You don't get everything you want," she said, and stalked off ahead of him.
o
Later in the day they came across a trading encampment on the road, just a few large yurts flinching against the wind. Tigress arrived before Tai Lung. He'd kept his distance the whole day, sulking, perhaps, somewhat. Whenever she glanced back she saw that his gait had a slight defeat in it. Seeing this twisted her inside more than it should. She had the impulse to turn and walk back to him, to make amends. But that flutter was dangerous and obscene and she couldn't bear to feel it again.
A goat sitting by a small determined fire directed Tigress to the largest of the yurts. She ducked inside. It was a huge space, filled with traders at mats and low tables, and people looking to trade - goats, antelope, oxen, and to her amazement a family of huge white bears. In the middle was a bonfire flickering through the holes of a of huge stone urn, radiating heat. Around that were piles of faded old cushions. She decided to head there. She took a seat on a cushion, her tail curled around her and her chin on her knee. The heat embraced her. She closed her eyes and sighed.
After a long time wavering between awake and asleep she became aware of someone approaching her from behind. She was just about to open her eyes to find the source of the annoyance when someone next to her said, "Blah!"
She jumped. Next to her was a cloaked figure with clawed hands wearing a huge, awful, green-scaled mask with fangs and a long wavy tongue.
"Ugh!" Tigress said.
Tai Lung chuckled and pulled the mask up over his head and chuckled. "Did I startle you?"
He looked boyish. Charming. Tigress grimaced and turned back towards the fire. "I hope you didn't buy that. You'll get tired of carrying it around."
Tai Lung was silent. After a long moment he gave a great sigh and sat down on a cushion next to her. The fire warming his fur began to carry his scent. This annoyed her.
"And I found this," he said, and held something before her - a perfectly fresh, perfectly ripe peach. Her eyes widened. He placed it by her foot. "That is for you."
She looked at it, glowing in the firelight. It was beautiful and soft, smelled bright and juicy. Her mouth watered. But she turned away from it.
"You have it," she said.
"What? The guy had one. One. It's been twenty years since I've tasted a fresh peach and I am giving it to you."
She didn't reply. Looked at the fire.
Tai Lung made a sound of exasperation. "What is it going to take?" he snapped.
"What is what going to take?"
"For you to talk to me! You were perfectly sweet last night."
"I'm never perfectly sweet."
"Clearly," he huffed.
Tigress shut her eyes and furrowed her brow, hoping he'd take the hint and leave her alone, knowing that he would't. She could feel him now, readying himself to say something, make some grand pronouncement.
Whatever will it be? Tigress thought drily.
"I - " Tai Lung began, sounding frustrated. "I'm curious about you, is that so strange?"
Tigress looked at him out of the side of her eye.
"What!" Tai Lung burst. "What is there out here? There's snow and then there's snow and then there's you! You, who as a child punched a goose, but why? Why did you punch the goose? Will I ever know? You'll probably never tell me."
"I -"
"And why can you be so sweet one moment and then spend days marching through the snow with this bitter, pained look on your face, every moment, every goddam moment, all the time? What could possibly be bothering you so much? It's driving me insane!"
"I don't know, maybe this whole situation?" Tigress burst. "Do you think I should be happy to be stuck out here in Mongolia with you?"
"No, but if you stopped for a moment you might see that it's actually…" he struggled, looking for words. "It's … boring, but it's not all bad. The wastes and the wind and the clouds. The sky that lights up green at night. It's beautiful. It's freedom."
"You only think that because you spent twenty years in prison," Tigress said grimly.
"Then maybe that's what you need, twenty years in prison."
A spark lit in her chest. She caught it. She blew on it.
"How dare you," Tigress said softly.
Tai Lung blinked. "Sorry?"
The flame rose within her. "How dare you say I am anything like you?"
"I didn't mean - "
"You want me to be your friend?" Tigress pressed. "You are a murderer."
Tai Lung's ears went flat.
She smelled fear. Her blood went hot.
"How dare you sit here, playing with masks and bringing me peaches, talking about freedom - how do you live with yourself?" Tigress spat, her heart pounding. "How can you still stand upon the earth after what you did to the Valley of Peace? It was horrid. Unspeakable. The buildings you destroyed fell on people who watched you grow up! Who trusted you to protect them! And for what? For what, Tai Lung, why? How could you possibly - why?"
Tai Lung looked away, growling.
"Tell me what happened that night," she insisted. "You want to talk to me so much, then tell me why."
He shut his eyes. Took a deep breath and rose into himself. After a long moment he turned to her with a gaze made of iron.
"Do you want the truth?"
"Yes."
"Even though you will hate it?"
"Whatever it is, I hate it already," she nearly growled.
The corner of his mouth curled. "As you wish," he said.
There was a glimmer in his his eyes that made her fur stand on end. He was going to enjoy this, she realized.
Her heart filled with dread.
Tai Lung cleared his throat. "Well. Where to begin." He thought a moment, furrowing his brow. "I think it begins when I was thirteen. Young boy, training my heart out, but I was not advancing as quickly as the Emperor would have preferred. I'd begun to slack off a bit. Kung Fu held my interest less and less. I dreamt of traveling. Adventuring! Perhaps trying to locate my birth parents. Or at the very least locate some leopards so I could learn what that's all about. Maybe I'd even meet a nice girl in the process." He glanced at Tigress. "You know, normal things for a young man."
"Okay," Tigress said flatly.
"When I spoke to Shifu about these desires he assured me that there would be plenty of time after I was pronounced the Dragon Warrior to do anything I'd like. There'd be no limit to what I could do! But until then, I had to put those dreams aside and focus. Focus on the training and one day whatever I wanted would be mine. If I wanted to meet others of my kind I could simply draw them to me through the winds of the universe. If I wanted to travel there'd be no corner of the world where I wasn't welcomed warmly and with gratitude. And if it was girls I wanted, well! Good luck keeping them away!" Tai Lung gave a rueful chuckle. "Say what you will about Shifu, the man could sell snow to a blizzard."
"He is good at that," Tigress conceded.
"Sold the hell out of me. You should have seen it," he said. "The Emperor's generals came to inspect me once a year. They were pouring a lot of money into me and wanted to see how their investment was accruing. Usually this was in the form of, you know, a big little show, as Shifu loved to do. A demonstration. Come out, kick the hell out of some dummies, dodge some flaming arrows, do a few big flips, be dashing and impressive, bow, back to that evening's scrolls. But not this time. This time, they took me into a room alone. Away from Shifu. He let them take me.
"So it was just me and these three warlords, in a small room, alone. They began to ask me questions, for hours and hours. They made me swear my fealty to the Emperor over and over, and loud and louder. Then they began to ask me all sorts of … personal things. Weird things. Things I will not repeat to you, which I did not answer readily. They noted my resistance. Didn't seem to like it. And then, finally, after laying me bare in this way, they asked me what I would do if ordered to destroy a hospital."
"A … a hospital?" Tigress asked.
"A hospital. Or a holy temple filled with nuns. A fortress whose occupants were starved out and too weak to fight back." He paused for a moment. "An enemy palace which also happened to contain a wedding party."
Tigress's brow furrowed.
"I knew I was supposed to give them to answers they wanted, but this time I wasn't sure. They couldn't possibly want me to agree to do these horrible things?" He shook his head. "I figured it was a test of morals. Surely they wanted the Tip of the Blade to be discerning? To know when and where mercy should be applied? So, that was how I answered. I said proudly that I would attack none of those targets, because they were filled with non-combatants. It would serve no purpose.
"And they asked, even under orders? Under the direct orders of the Son of Heaven? Even under direct order of the Emperor, you would not destroy a hospital full of the sick and wounded?
"I'd answered incorrectly. I knew it. So I said that, under the direct order of the Son of Heaven, I suppose I would have to." He shook his head. "That, of course, was not what they wanted to hear. They thanked me, dismissed me, and let me tell you I lived in dread. Surely I'd messed everything up beyond repair. I'd thrown my destiny away on a bad answer, and Shifu would be so angry and so disappointed with me - and that was … unacceptable." He winced. "I survived on his pride. It my very was food and air."
Tigress's breath caught in her throat.
"Later that night Shifu came to me while I studied. I hadn't studied much, I kept reading the same few lines over and over in my dread. He sat down, and he told me that the Emperor's men were happy with how my training had progressed but they feared I lacked resolve. Unless this problem could be addressed, that, as they say, was that for my being the Tip of the Blade. And the Dragon Warrior.
"I told Shifu about the invasive questions I was asked. He said that the higher classes could be a little odd and I'd just have to humor them. I told him that they wanted me to destroy hospitals and temples full of innocent people. And that I wasn't sure I could do that, even if asked by the Emperor. It horrified me. I remember being horrified, anyway." He took a deep breath. "That was just the way of it, Shifu said, that was simply the way of war. Sometimes terrible things must be done in war, awful things. Things a kung fu master would normally never take part in, but the role of the Dragon Warrior was to be strong enough to bear that burden for the good of China. And he knew I was strong enough, he knew I was Dragon Warrior. It was my destiny! It was always my destiny.
"But … after this … I began to have … doubts. I told Shifu this. And he … his entire demeanor towards me changed. He went cold to me until I was nearly suffocating for his praise. He was making me suffer, he was intentionally making me suffer. And I knew it. Had he done that when I was older I may have defended myself to him. But at thirteen I was still too young. I assumed I deserved his displeasure for my blasphemy."
Tigress grimaced. Her stomach churned.
"Finally, he sat me down and asked me what I wanted. To be the Dragon Warrior, I said. Never anything else, everything else I said before was nonsense. Good god, I was slavish with hunger. And he asked me if I was willing - if I had the resolve - to do whatever it took? Even if it was unpleasant?" Tai Lungs mouth curled. "Even if we could never tell Oogway?"
"What?" Tigress whispered.
"What indeed. Here I am, just a boy, wondering what in the world we couldn't tell Oogway about. But I agree. He makes me agree three times. Then Shifu places before me five black scrolls."
"From the Hall of Warriors?" Tigress asked. "I don't remember any black scrolls."
He shook his head. "Not from the Hall of Warriors. These are from a chamber below the Hall of Warriors. The Moon Pool must be drained to access it."
"What?" Tigress asked. "The Moon Pool is … just a pool. When they drain it for cleaning it's empty."
"The floor can be moved aside by a mechanism hidden behind a tile on the rim of the pool. Beneath it is a very steep staircase. And at the end of that staircase is darkness. Oogway's darkness, to be precise."
Tigress swallowed hard. "What do you mean?"
He raised his eyebrows "You don't know of Oogway's past?"
"I know some of it. I know he was a warlord. I know he did many terrible things before he discovered kung fu."
Tai Lung smirked. "Did you know he kept souvenirs?"
Tigress winced. "The black scrolls were his? What were they?"
"They were a series of meditations devised by a twisted monk who lived far before Oogway was hatched from his shell. They are a way to bend the mind to enable it do anything."
"Anything? Like what?"
"Anything required of it. To create a place in it, like a bubble of nothing where the screams of the innocent cannot be heard. With this a warrior might be able to do whatever he must without question and without feeling. For the good of China, Shifu told me. For the good of China. To be the Dragon Warrior and son I know you are destined to be, this is what you must do."
"No," Tigress whispered.
"It took years," Tai Lung continued. "Like any seed it it must grow. So Shifu nurtured it. Punished me when I deviated from it. I had twist my mind to put aside mercy, day in and day out. Do you think that comes without a price?" Tai Lung hissed. "I can tell you it does not. It can overwhelm you. It can overtake you. The magic in the black scrolls is strong. It becomes something that is wanting, waiting to be used. Coiled. Ready to strike and do so without sense or discernment or honor. It is the antithesis of kung fu. And Shifu - your beloved master - grew it in me like a vine."
Tigress shut her eyes tight and shook her head.
"No," she growled softly.
"Yes," Tai Lung said. "You wanted the truth, Tigress. It is unwise to ask for what you can't handle."
Her hands locked in fists. She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to punch the lies out of his mouth.
"Whenever you're ready," he said smoothly.
"Go on," she growled.
"So. The day everything fell apart, Shifu - in his presumption - invited the Emperor's men to witness my being named Dragon Warrior. He was glowing, he had so much pride in me. Can you imagine the humiliation when Oogway refused? His son was a failure. A .. a dud. And I tell you Tigress, when he looked at me - when he did not defend me to Oogway - I could tell I was no longer his son. I saw it in his eyes. I was twenty year's investment gone. I was his greatest defeat!" Tai Lung's hands clawed. His breath grew heavy. "I did not put aside my every desire - I did not put up with those awful men and their invasive questions - I did not study dark texts meant to warp me for nothing! All I ever did, I did to make him proud! But the very thing he put in me made that impossible!" He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "I asked Shifu to say something. I begged him to say something. For god's sake take the blame, tell me I did the best I could, tell me this is not my doing! But he did not. He only said that he had to retire to meditate on the day's events.
"So I stood there. Skinless. I had no idea what was to become of me. Everything was a lie. I had done everything asked of me but I was unworthy of my destiny? How? It made no sense! And Shifu left me in blackness, out in a howling wind. I had nothing. But no. I still had one thing. The only thing I had left. So Father, if you are leaving me to the abyss - if you have turned against me - then I may as well give these men what they paid you for."
Tigress's eyes filled with tears.
"It's a lie," she growled. "Tell me it's a lie!"
"It's the truth."
The look in his eyes was solid.
She shut hers.
He sighed. "I see he hid his darkness well, but this is your master, Tigress. I am sorry you have only now just met him."
"Shut up," Tigress seethed.
"You wanted the truth."
"Quiet!"
"Now you have it."
"BE QUIET!" she shouted.
The yurt went silent for a moment as people turned towards the source of the noise. She rose and stalked out of the the yurt, blind with tears, accidentally knocking over a stack of copper kettles. She threw aside the flap of the tent and stumbled out into the cold night air where she could breathe. Nothing Tai Lung said was true, nothing he said could possibly be true. Shifu would never do that, he was harsh but he was kind, he would never - he couldn't possibly be capable of mutilating his own son in such a way. His heart was not so selfish and dark. Not her Shifu. Nor her tired, beloved master, with so much regret in his eyes. So much regret, always there, so constant, the years of misery, the limp he could not correct - that sorrow she wanted so badly to heal him of, that deep well of guilt for what he had done -
for what he had created.
Not simply a spoiled and prideful child, she now understood. Too much regret even for that. Years of her life spent watching Shifu suddenly solidified into a horrifying truth. She took a series of deep breaths, fighting down nausea, helpless as her new reality lurched into place.
There were steps behind her. She turned to glance at him. He wore the pack. No mask, but he'd kept the cloak. In his left hand he held the peach.
"I'm sorry," he said.
She wiped her eyes and turned. He looked, to her surprise, genuinely sorry.
But not yielding.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked.
"I'm not going anywhere with you," she spat. "You're a live grenade."
"Yes, and who made me that way?"
"I don't care who made you that way," she said, doing everything she could not to weep. "You understand? I don't care."
A look of hurt crossed his face.
"Fine," he said.
He opened his hand and let the peach drop into the snow.
"You don't care, fine. If you don't care, this live grenade is going back to the Valley of Peace to get what is rightfully HIS!"
And with that, he turned and walked away. Not along the road. He headed directly south, out into the wastes.
Out into nothing.
"Where are you going?" Tigress shouted after him.
He did not answer. Kept walking.
But suddenly she realized the road - well worn with traders and sporadic civilization, a thin ribbon of survival in a barren wasteland - went east to west.
China lay south.
o