The night passed by slowly, spent in silence that was both aggravating and exhausting.

At times, I wanted to get up and stomp around and scream at the leader of our company and then at other times, I was nudged awake by Thorin, who would then proceed to scowl at me. I smoked entirely too much for my liking that night as well, though I was happy when it relaxed me enough to actually start to enjoy being underneath the stars.

Being in such darkness without a fire nearby, the sky was beautiful, tiny sparkles of white twinkling up high above us. Such beauty was only diminished by the need for warmth and I went to find my blanket before I was back by Thorin's side and wrapping myself up in a bundle.

"You won't be able to easily draw your sword like that."

Thorin's voice cut into the night, a harsh clap on my back that made me frown. I wanted to tell him to lighten up and leave me be but just to appease him, I let my arm out and showed him. "There, now I can."

While it did appease him, it certainly made me feel the cold just as if the blanket weren't there at all.

Eventually I started to doze off, unused to the entire affair of taking watch.

"Miss Baggins," I jolted awake from the sound of his growled voice on my neck, "I expect you to take my Company's safety seriously."

I felt my cheeks flush in embarrassment because it wasn't as if I actually wanted to fall asleep! This entire thing was new to me and Thorin knew that. If he wanted to help me, he should have realized that talking to me would have been a preferable alternative than just outright nagging at me like a Dad.

I got up from my spot, his eyes on me the entire time, and I adjusted the blanket so that it was around my shoulders like a shawl and started to pace around the head of the camp. I realized as I did it that it wasn't because I was tired enough to actually need the activity to stay awake anymore but that after digesting Thorin's words, I understood that I was upset.

Borderline fuming, I paced and felt myself frown because of how he spoke to me about the company, as if I weren't even a part of it! My company! Oh, your company! I didn't realize. Was it your company? I certainly didn't realize that their safety was entirely on my hands only! Oh, yes, thank you for the notice!

I stopped pacing and sat atop a nearby rock, staring out into the relative darkness. I was starving but I didn't feel like going over to my bag for anything to munch on. I was annoyed but I didn't really want to make a scene. I was tired and I wanted to go to sleep. I wanted to know what time it was and how long the shifts normally lasted. While Thorin probably enjoyed the fact that he never slept, I certainly did not! I was a hobbit! We needed our sleep!

I stayed quiet.

I didn't notice how little or how much time passed us.

The wind blew around us, silent in the night and cold in my mouth. The snores from the other dwarves could be heard from behind us, unable to be drowned out given the pressure once again on my chest.

Thorin still sat in his spot as if he hadn't moved an inch all night.

I got up, needing to pace again.

Bored.

I grumbled and smoked as I paced.

Thorin's broad back was unchanged, his hair rustling in the wind and relaxed in his spot.

Bored. Bored. Bored.

How did seriously anyone actually really do this?!

I went to Thorin's side and practically collapsed in a pile of fabric next to him, not even caring if I bumped into him awkwardly and pushed him off balance. He looked at me, that familiar annoyed glare in his eyes that did not soften even as I got comfortable next to him. I went to work on cleaning my pipe out, finished smoking for now and not willing to let it sit there in the bowl. Thorin regarded me lightly, watching me and waiting to see if I would try to engage him in any conversation. When I did no such thing (because really what was the point considering that all day he hadn't said anything except to nag?), he grunted in disapproval and made to give me some space.

"Stay."

I tried to command, my eyes still on the pipe that I was cleaning out but Thorin didn't pause even a moment before he was relocated a foot from me. I sighed into my hand and felt my fingers in my hair, running along dirty curls before I looked at our leader.

"Have I done something to offend?"

He looked at me before crossing his arms, "Not taking your duty seriously is usually an offense with any race."

I bristled at the underhanded dig to my culture that Thorin knew nothing about, "Why did you even put me on watch? You obviously don't want to spend any time with me. You could have just tortured me all tomorrow without adding this."

"Miss Baggins, if you find my company or my leadership torturous , I dare say you are in the wrong company."

Thorin's voice while verbally just as calm as it had been before, bristled along my skin as it crawled up my arms like a spider. It was slow as his words and steady but the tone given by the sensation was all wrong. Was this his anger? His annoyance felt nothing like this...

"Well, while I have enjoyed your company in the past, at the moment I find you to be a little intolerable-"

My eyes stayed on Thorin's form as he turned in his place to look at me finally, "I do believe you have mistaken me for something much akin to yourself. Forgive me for not doting on you like my nephew does."

My eyes widened in disbelief at his words even as I tried to process the way his voice seemed to now claw into my arms.

"I am not soft nor will I make allowances for you to do as you please. In my Company, you would do well to remember that I lead and that whatever I say must be followed. When I order for you to be vigilant, you will be at the ready. When I say to pay attention, you will pay it. This journey is not a joke and I will not tolerate you treating it as if it were a getaway for whatever your mind fancies."

I was silent, unable to answer such a thing said to me. His voice nearly dug into my skin and yet I couldn't even register if I winced at the sensation or not. I was just overwhelmed by his words. My hand went up to catch a tear that trailed down my cheek and I looked away, embarrassed and just now realizing that I was beginning to cry.

"Your shift is over. Go and wake Fili."

Dismissed.

His voice said it all, even as it still clawed along my arms. I stood quickly, not wanting to argue with him and not wanting him to see me as I tried to keep it all together. Silently, I went back towards the middle of the pile of dwarves, still feeling that my tears were being held back only by the power of my will alone. I wasn't gentle when I shoved Fili awake, trying my best to hide my face when he startled awake and found me next to him.

Even while trying to ignore and dodge Fili's more inquisitive nature, I could feel his concern radiating off of him in waves as he took in my appearance. I knew he wanted to comfort me and ask me what happened but I didn't want to be coddled and I didn't want to prove Thorin right about being soft. I didn't want to be doted on.

"Fili."

Just a name was all it took for me to understand that it really was Thorin's anger. I winced at the horrible feeling in my skin and pushed Fili away from me, waiting until he got out of his bedroll before I took his place in the warm blankets. He hovered there for a moment, his eyes still worried about what had happened; he wanted to tuck me in, to kiss my forehead, to attend to my softhearted whims as Thorin had said.

Instead, he went over to his Uncle and took up his place next to the older dwarf.

I slept.

By the time I woke to the bright sun in my eyes, Fili was in a foul mood. He brushed off any conversation that Kili attempted to bring him into and he wouldn't let Thorin speak to him anymore despite the older dwarf glaring at him to manage his temper. The blonde dwarf ate breakfast moodily, a frown in his bowl of cold stew that didn't change for the entire morning routine.

The camp was tense with the knowledge that something had happened. I could feel them staring at me, whispering voices every so often that I managed to pick out only because of the sensation.

"Bilbo, what happened last night?"

Kili was beside me, packing up his bedroll while I rolled up Fili's for the elder brother. I didn't want to talk about what Thorin said to me and I certainly didn't want to talk to Kili right then. While all I wanted was to be left alone, he remained firm by my side and didn't budge at all. He stared and waited until finally he took my arm and hauled me away from the camp.

"What happened? What did you do?"

His voice trembled along the skin of my rear but I was indignant by his questions. "What did I do? I didn't do anything! He said – it was his fault!"

I pointed in the direction of the camp, careful to keep my voice low. In response to my indignation, Kili just chuckled, "Come off, Bilbo. Tell me, what happened."

"We argued. Nothing more."

"About?"
The sensation trembled nervously.

"It doesn't matter. Just –nothing."

"Was it about his mood lately?"

I looked up at the younger brother, my eyes showing my surprise. I felt his hand on my shoulder, a pat that was meant to be reassuring and yet feeling completely not. "He's just been moody lately, is all. Whatever you two argued about, just apologize for it and be done."

"But it wasn't my fault! Why would I apologize for him being an ass to me?!"

That surprised Kili, his eyes darting around the camp to see who was listening, which on closer inspection turned out to be quite a few dwarves. My face burned with the humiliation at having to be chided by one of the youngest in the company, the one that was essentially known for being the most reckless. I looked away from his frown even as he leaned in to whisper to me, his eyes serious.

"Miss Bilbo, fighting with Thorin will be the worst thing you can do for yourself here. Regardless of who is responsible for whatever argument you had, just apologize."

I was upset. I knew I shouldn't have pushed Kili away but I was tired and I was not about to put up with dwarves being stubborn and just walking all over me just because I was a Hobbit. I brushed off Kili's hand, not even wanting him to touch me and crossed my arms, unwilling to concede.

We stared at each other, at an impasse.

"Kili! Enough with the chatter, we're moving out! Miss Baggins, you're with me."

The group was tense the entire day. All throughout the day, they were on edge as we traveled but unlike before, it was not the silence of the environment that made them quiet. Thorin practically bristled in irritation, displeasure written so clearly across his face even as I kept pace with him. We did not speak to each other, knowing that the first word spoken would lead to an all out argument; neither of us were willing to quite embarrass ourselves in front of the company just yet, it seemed.

Just as he was earlier, Fili was still in a horrid mood and stayed silent from where he walked next to Kili.

When we stopped for a late lunch, one look from Thorin was enough of a command to say that it was alright to leave his side, and I practically skipped all the way over to Fili such was my relief. He was still in a mood, peeling an orange and throwing the skin peels into a nearby bush but as soon as he saw me, he looked curious. His eyebrow rose, a glance at Thorin. Next to him, Kili watched us, his eyes wary. I waved off the concern and smiled weakly at the blonde dwarf, earning a weak grin in return. Once he was finished with peeling the orange, he pulled it cleanly in two and gave me one of the halves.

I didn't really want to sit with the brothers since Kili was still in his own mood from earlier but as soon as I sat down next to Bofur and Bifur, I felt the air around me stiffen in apprehension. From my other side, Dori made sure to keep his attention on Ori and Nori, both of whom stayed quiet. Bofur very intently smoked his pipe and Bombur really just wasn't trying hard enough to look interested in the direction of his own shoes. His eyes kept darting between the brothers, Thorin, and myself.

Bifur looked at me, his eyes soft and kind, and he tried to sign to me in Iglishmêk something that I couldn't understand. Knowing that to be the case, I watched him as he rounded on his younger cousin and smacked him upside the head, pointing towards me, himself, and then Bofur. He signed something down low where others could not see but Bofur just shook his head and answered back in the same manner.

Bofur glanced at Thorin and signed again something for his brother before smiling weakly at me. "I'll teach you some more later when the mood is better."

Bifur stayed quiet after that, a hand on my shoulder just to show that he wanted me nearby. I kept my head down, slowly eating my half of the orange and tried not to think of the fact that everyone seemed to not want to talk to me as long as Thorin was upset at me.

As the group continued on through the terrain, grassy fields turning into rock beds again, I stayed silent next to Thorin. Spared glances back at the company did nothing but make me fume. My mood darkened after lunch due to the fact that I felt willing to give into Kili's advice if it would only make Thorin soften towards me and make the company comfortable talking to me again.

I cursed at myself because of how stupid I had been.

While spending time with the Durins had been wonderful in Rivendell, unknowingly, I had sectioned myself off from the other dwarves of the company. Now I felt as if I were only an extension of the three, only able to be acknowledged when they were pleased enough with me. I bristled at the sentiment, unhappy that through my own machinations I brought all this on myself. Too late I had tried to get close with the other dwarves and too late had I earned anything from them.

Sure, they were content to entertain me when Thorin and the brothers were well enough but the second one of them turned on me, I was suddenly off limits? Suddenly, I was pariah? I hated feeling the way I did. I kept silent because I knew I would start yelling if anyone said anything to me.

I tripped on some rogue rock, stumbling forward before I was caught by Thorin's hand on my arm. Steady and strong, he pulled me up but only said to keep my eyes focused on the way ahead before continuing on.

Onward, we walked. Onward, I had grown irritated. I was tired and my feet hurt. I wished for the ponies wherever they were. I wished for the chance to smack Thorin upside the head just as easily as Bifur had done to Bofur. I looked back towards the group who seemed to finally break the tension among themselves and engage in quiet conversations.

"Look forward, Miss Baggins."

I sighed because of Thorin being so oppressive.

I caved.

"I'm sorry for earlier. I didn't mean what I said."

I very much did mean what I said because Thorin Oaken-jerk-face was being an intolerable prat and I really didn't want anything at all to do with any of it. I wanted the peace to return. I wanted Thorin to just call all of this off so that the others would talk to me again...

I wanted to go back home to the Shire if I knew that this would be the rest of the journey. If Thorin and Balin were concerned over making it to the Lonely Mountain by the start of winter then I would have many more months of this unendurable nonsense before me.

Thorin's hard gaze looked down at me, those blue eyes taking in what my body was telling him. I tried to smile at him to show that I was sincere but I was sure that my eyes gave my thoughts away. I had never been good at fibbing, even for the greater good. Many a time my Mum and Dad would catch me in a white lie just by the way that I couldn't keep my mouth from curling up into a smile.

"Apparently Hobbits lack sincerity as well. Watch your step."

I watched my step, walking right over the rock.

Inside, I fumed at how awful and intolerable Thorin was being. I wanted to scratch his eyes out! How did such a dwarf really manage to chastise me for something HE had done and then proceed to warn me and reprimand me all within the same sentence? How did he do that? I wanted to throw my hands up in defeat because Thorin was just too much!

"Follow behind me."

I followed behind him, the path narrowing.

"Stay on your guard. You never know what can happen on the mountain side."

I wanted to scratch his fucking eyes out.

We walked along the narrow ledge for about ten minutes until it widened again and he turned to me, "Go on ahead."

His voice was curt, still clawing into my arms, and I pushed past him so that I could get away from him. He really was torturing me and at this point, I wasn't even sure if he was doing it to be cheeky or just because he didn't realize he was being an utter bastard.

I waited for him since he had said to walk with him all day, allowing the other dwarves to pass me at some point but when he came back to my side, he looked down at me in irritation. "I sent you to stay up ahead, Miss Baggins."

My fists clenched because I was trying to suppress the urge to push Thorin off the cliff side. He was lucky that I was a nice, soft little hobbit or else he would have been on the edge of the cliff begging the fair Lady Bilbo to rescue him and save him for a horrible plunge into jerk-face land.

"Pay attention, Miss Baggins."

Unclench, clench the fists. Just keep doing that instead of pushing him.

Later that night at camp, I was exhausted by just how upset I had been all day. It was almost impossible to discern between my sore feet, my aching calves, and the pounding headache behind my eyes just what was worse. Thorin had been a pain the entire rest of the day even when he was silent. The journey had been rougher when we started to trudge our way upwards again.

Everyone was moody at camp still and I was doing my best to keep out of the fray just as long as it would help me relax. When the food was finally ready to be eaten (yet another cold stew) I ate next to the brothers, spooning and sloshing around strange bits of food that I couldn't help but barely even want to eat. Fili was a much needed breath of fresh air when his spoon went into my bowl and he slopped it messily into his mouth, "Well, if you're not going to eat it."

Despite the heavy mood of the entire day and the camp, Fili and I found ourselves giggling while we fought for who would get my bowl of stew. Kili looked at us and eventually conceded to let go of his own apprehension, taking a quick bet of who would win.

Sadly, I ended up losing the rights to my own bowl of food.

"Come on, open up nice and wiiiiiiiiide."

Fili's voice pinched at me playfully and I couldn't help but flush with how embarrassing the situation now was. Having actually stolen my bowl of food from me, he was alternating between feeding himself small bites and myself, though if I wanted them I would need to let him dote on me. "You need to keep your strength up."

"Stop!" I laughed at the ticklish feeling under my skirts and tried to take my bowl back but Fili just moved away, using Kili at one point to keep me back. Even with the shadow of Thorin's nasty temper in the air, the other dwarves began to root for whomever they wanted to win.

I was made to concede after Kili was splashed with a good portion of the stew and Dwalin telling us not to waste food. "Come on."

"Stop!"

"Open up...?"

I smirked even as I leaned forward to accept a bite of the cold stew, noting pleasantly that it tasted much better if only because Fili was making such an effort to make me happy. If doting really did always feel this way, I wasn't exactly sure why I didn't want to always be the recipient of Fili's undivided attention.

Later on after dinner when the camp was engaged in a variety of activities amongst themselves, Fili leaned in close to me and whispered in my ear something that made his voice curl along my bottom seductively, "You did well today, against his temper, I mean."

I rolled my eyes playfully at such a compliment. "Yeah, right."

"No, really. I mean it. You didn't let him really goad you...Our Ma knows only too well how much his temper made us get into fights with him."

Fili was leaned in close to me, his breath a whisper against my face and his voice a trail underneath my skirts. He was serious but he was being warm and kind. It was the combination that I loved the most about him. I leaned in just so that I could smell his scent from where it was strongest in the crook of his neck. He smiled at me, his hand coming up to comb into my hair, fingering the locks before he looked at me.

"Can I ask why his temper has been so bad lately?"

Fili didn't want to answer that. I knew immediately from the way his blue eyes shut off from me and how his hand stilled in my hair. He moved closer, raising up so that he could kiss my forehead. Before his lips could connect though, I moved away from him. "Stop trying to do that. I feel like whenever you three try to kiss my forehead, you just want to placate me instead of actually talk."

I leaned forward so that I could wrap my arms around my knees, "I can't actually stand how little I know about you three. How I'm always wondering how much I can actually ask you. I hate feeling like I always have to be in the dark to be with any of you."

I didn't want to ruin the good mood that Fili specifically cultivated for me but I couldn't help but be the whiny kid that I was made to feel like I was all day. Fili seemed to understand that this was what he would get instead of me attempting an all out argument with Thorin; his expression softened at once before he shifted closer and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize. It is just something we have always done in our family. The kisses really are meant to comfort, not keep you from anything." His voice was soft in my ear and softer still on my behind. I could feel his affection and love for me with each breath he took.

"Honestly, we keep some things from you because we love you."

It was my bad mood. It was the child in me. It was the spurned woman who was tired of being treated like she were a burden. Whatever it was, it was the thing that made my thoughts go to Kili and replay our earlier conversation about how I was essentially in the wrong and would need to apologize. They went next to Thorin and what he said to me during our watch and throughout the day.

"You're the only one who loves me here, Fili."

Just as I stood up to end this depressing conversation and find a moment for myself or even try to really talk to Thorin, Fili's hand gripped my arm tightly and didn't let me go. He pulled me back to him even as he stood in his spot so that I would be forced to look at him. He stopped only for a moment, looking around the camp and deciding something. He pulled me away so that we could have a moment of privacy.

Once we were alone, he turned back towards me, keeping his grip on my forearms steady and firm.

"How can you say such a thing, Bilbo? Thorin and Kili both love you, I swear to that. I know sometimes it's hard to see because of tempers but do not doubt that we do love you in our own ways."

I felt a lump in my throat from Fili's confession, the possessive curl of sensation against my bottom being all I needed to know that he told the truth. It was what he believed and what he would fight defending no matter how many times I tried to say it wasn't true.

"And you?"

He didn't skip a beat, "I love you as well. I am not one to keep myself from experiencing the happiness of love, even on such a dangerous quest as this."

Fili's arms went tight around my body even as he squeezed me harder and buried his face into my curly hair. Still, his voice squeezed me possessively. I felt my heart swell with how much he truly felt for me despite how little time we had spent together.

Courtships in the Shire could last for years with rare ones being a few months young. Such things just weren't done so quickly. Love was something that I was taught by my Dad to be cultivated like the fields of Arda that we planted our crops in.

'Patience and love would grow a better, fiercer yield' , he used to say, a true Baggins.
'Quick like a smack to a misbehaving brat, I stole your Pa because I knew I never wanted to be without him!' , my Mum used to say, who was always a Took despite having a Baggins as a last name.

As their daughter, where was I allowed to be? This was something new for me and never before had I ever wanted to admit that maybe I was not such a proper Baggins all along.

"I love you, too."

Even as I returned the kiss given by the elder dwarf brother, I wanted to hold Fili tight because of how scared such an open confession made me. It was out in the open now. I was vulnerable and now I would be worried forevermore about everything that Fili did. Our quest was indeed dangerous and to think of a day -even a moment- without Fili was what I would consider true torture. I would love to listen to Thorin nag at me all day if it meant that I could stay with him.

"Come on, before we make Uncle Grumpy come look for us."

Fili led me back to the camp where we saw that some of the dwarves were beginning to unroll their bedrolls for bedtime. Kili was already in the motion of doing our bedrolls, looking up when he noticed us near and smiling. "Everything alright?"

A quick brush of his voice against my bottom and I grinned at him, "Of course!"

"Miss Hobbit, want to do me a favor?" Fili's voice tickled at me and I smiled up at him, love struck and feeling foolish. I nodded and he directed me to have a seat on the middle bedroll. Propping up his pack underneath him, Fili took a seat himself and got comfortable. "Hand me your comb."

Not giving his request much thought, I ruffled around inside my bag until I found my comb and held it for him to take. Kili watched us intently, his eyes darkened with apprehension again. He was curious, wary, and definitely intrigued. Fili was gentle as he leaned my head back, experienced fingers pulling the comb through my curly hair back and away from my forehead. This he did in easy strokes, gliding the teeth against my scalp pleasantly until I was thoroughly relaxed and putty in his hands.

"Lean your head back some more."

Again, that possessive voice.

I closed my eyes when I felt those thick fingers in my hair, sectioning out strands before I felt one of his hands leave my hair and disappear for a moment.

"Hold this for me."

I opened up my hand to accept whatever it was, opening my eyes just as he deposited a silver hair clasp in my palm. Immediately, I recognized it as the smaller ornament that held together his back braid.

"What are you doing?"

I smiled up at him, not sure what this new found grooming really meant. Fili just chuckled at my question, pulling my head back into place so that he could begin his work. I closed my eyes again, since there was really nothing to see anyway.

"Braiding? You're sure?"

Kili's voice in the darkness, a nervous tremble on my bottom that was overridden quickly by Fili's pinch on the other butt cheek.

"Yep, you know I've been planning which would look best since before we left Rivendell."

Happy that all Fili was doing was braiding my hair, I played with the silver hair clasp between my fingers, content to let myself bask in the soothing press of fingers in my hair smoothing out the strands from my scalp. Beginning with practiced ease, he weaved the strands of hair tightly, questioning every so often if he was pulling too hard.

He made quick work of the braid, finishing it behind my ear so that the end was tucked out of sight, stopping only to hold out his hand for the hair clasp. Once it was hooked into my hair, I felt the press of his knuckles down my cheek and opened my eyes.

Kili hadn't said a word since Fili started and now more than before, he looked worried. A quick glance at Thorin also did not bode well since his anger seemed to have boiled up again.

Had something happened while I was out of it?

Fili's good mood didn't allow me even a moment to think about what had gotten back up Thorin's butt, standing up and leaning back over for an apple in his bag and one of his knives. He ushered both Kili and I over, happy to share his treat. The two of us were content to accept whatever he offered us, an easy comfort to be found whenever Fili was joyous and not to be challenged.

I found myself remembering him as the King of our Bedroom.

"Fili, a word."

Thorin's voice made me wince in pain, raking so hard against my arms that I squirmed in discomfort. Barely finished with the apple, Fili looked up at his glaring Uncle, a heavy sigh coming from his lips before he finished off the apple himself, "I'm surprised you even let me get through my apple."

"Now."

"It's not up for discussion. I made my choice and I'm not willing to reconsider."

Fili's voice started to prickle against my rear unpleasantly. He was starting to become angry. I realized all too late that something was happening here. Something had happened.

"Now!"

Thorin was mad. Fili was equally as mad.

I watched as the two of them left our camp, hovering close enough that they wouldn't be in danger but not too close as to be overheard. Regardless, whatever they said I didn't understand anyway because it was completely in Khuzdul, guttural and garbled, and sounding mean and upset.

Their voices at times forgot themselves, growing louder until words could be overheard clearly, raking sensations against my skin. A look at Kili's face showed me just how bad the argument was. Quickly they disappeared back into whispers, not wanting to be overheard again.

"I've never heard them argue before."

I was worried now that something really serious had happened when I was unaware. Maybe the braiding meant something that made Thorin mad?

"They don't do it often."

"Is it about me?"

Kili, who hadn't moved closer to me since Fili left suddenly looked at me and attempted a small comforting smile before he thought better of it. Instead, he shifted over where Fili had been and pulled me close, raising his hand so that he could run his fingers over the braid.

"Braids are..." He stopped, his words trailing off as he saw Fili rush out of the darkness and back over to the camp. He did not approach Kili and I, choosing to go straight over to where Dwalin sat on watch, his steps angry and forceful.

I had never seen him look so upset.

A moment later, Thorin was back in the camp, barking at everyone to sleep before he headed over to Balin.

"Its meaning is personal... something he should tell you himself... If I want to braid your hair, I'll tell you why I wish to then."

Before anyone asks, I know that in some fanfics in this fandom, braids mean marriage... but yea, no. For this story, they are more of a committed sort of relationship thing.