"Harry? What are you doing here?"
Standing in the doorway, in her arms a parcel just like Harry's, was Hermione Granger.
"Hermione! Why are you...what...who…" Harry was at a loss for words, initially just from seeing the girl he had just been explicitly dreaming about. It's always awkward, after all, seeing someone in real life after just moments ago you'd been having a good wank at the thought of them. However, even as that initial shock died down, Harry froze as the implications of Hermione being here fully sank in. He was paired up with his best friend! To be married! And to...oh. Oh wow.
"I met with Mr. Diyader, an interesting man on all accounts, I have to say, but he told me I had obtained the highest rank of all the female students here at Hogwarts! Frankly, I was a quite perplexed upon being told that, especially with Ministry's usual tendency toward muggleborn bias, but I'm certainly not going to go against what the government has decided." Hermione huffed, her mouth going a mile a minute. "I also received this parcel and some directions that led me here, though I have to say they could have done a better job explaining things. It's going to take me hours to go through all of this! And that banana! I swear, even after several years there are so many things about the magical world that I simply cannot...that I..." Hermione's voice died off as her brain caught up with her mouth, realizing that this wasn't just casually talking with her best friend in the Gryffindor Common Room like usual.
"Harry," Hermione began, brows furrowed, "why are you in my quarters?" Clearly Diyader hadn't managed to inform Hermione of her pairing, as he had almost done with Harry. Or her brain was just as slow with making the mental shift as Harry's had.
"Well…" Harry searched his mind, trying to find a way to break the news. Well, not break the news, per say. It's not like it was bad news. Wasn't it? He didn't think so, at least. Or he hoped so, anyway. Why was he having so much trouble with this, she was his best friend for Merlin's sake!
"It seems the, uh, people in charge decided that...well...theykindofpairedustogether!" The last part came out a bit rushed. Harry had hoped that maybe the less time he took to say it, the less awkward it would be. He was quite wrong, it turned out. Hindsight can be a bitch like that.
"Paired us for what?" Hermione stared at Harry questioningly, her brain still refusing to make the connection.
"You know," Harry sighed, squirming uncomfortably, "the law thing. For...doing...stuff"
"Law thing?" Hermione's eyebrows met as the mental gears finally began turning. "Are you talking about the...oh...you mean we're…"
"Yeah. That." As everything clicked and it dawned on Hermione exactly what kind of pairing Harry was referring to, Harry could see a slight blush come to her face. He could feel his face growing hot too, as both of them tried unsuccessfully to keep thoughts of the future out of their heads. They stayed there, awkwardly avoiding eye contact and not moving, for about a minute (though to Harry it felt like an eternity), not sure what to say or do.
"Well," Hermione remarked, breaking the awkward silence, "at least I'm not paired up with someone like Malfoy." She shuddered at thought.
"One of you would be dead within twenty-four hours!" Harry added in a mock serious tone.
"I mean, honestly, what would I do if that happened? We can't stand each other other! He was quite literally raised to hate people like me!"
"Maybe," Harry grinned, acting as if some deep tidbit of wisdom had suddenly struck him, "after spending time with one another, you both would come to respect the other, later forming a deep bond of unbreakable love and breath-taking romance." Hermione turned to see Harry struggling to hold a straight face. As the more mature one, she huffed and maturely stuck her tongue out at him.
"And maybe Ron will realize how badly the Chudley Cannons suck" Hermione shot back, annoyed.. "Let's just drop the subject of Malfoy altogether." She shuddered, clearly disgusted with the thought of Malfoy and her paired up. "Have you seen how nice our quarters are?" Hermione remarked, intentionally changing the subject. She started walking around the room. After making sure that his personal basilisk was safely hidden, Harry stood up to take another look around.
"Yeah, they're pretty nice." Harry shrugged. Harry he'd never been one to fully appreciate decor. As long he had room to stretch his legs and the spiders minded their own personal space, he was generally content.
"Must be to keep us happy. We are, after all, their most important people." Hermione smiled. "What else did they give us? How far into it have you gotten?" she asked excitedly, gesturing to her parcel.
"I don't know", Harry shrugged, a little embarrassed. "I just did a quick look of the rooms before taking a nap."
Hermione sighed rolled her eyes, "Honestly, do you want to become Ron?"
"Come on. I'm not that bad yet!"
"Not if I can help it!" Hermione walked over to one of the desks, which seemed to already have many of her belongings neatly arranged in a Hermione sort of way. She opened her parcel, carefully taking many items that should not have fit in the small box and sorting them into neat little piles.
Harry decided he had better open his up too, though his perfected method was slightly different than his busy-haired best friend. Particularly in that it involved dumping the entire contents onto his desk. Doing so, Harry found quite a few interesting things. The first thing Harry inspected was a magical map, similar to the Marauder's Map. This one wasn't quite as detailed - it didn't show where every single person was - but it did show plenty of secret passageways, rooms, and cupboards. There were some that Harry was pretty sure didn't even show up on the Marauder's Map. This map seemed to more geared toward finding private places for some 'fun time' instead of the general mischief practiced by the Marauders. Harry couldn't help but notice that a few of the more obviously-placed rooms had an "occupied" symbol. Best not to think about who was in there. Harry also found some keys similar to the one he had used to enter his and Hermione's new quarters. An attached note stated that these should open hidden stashes placed within the castle. Harry wasn't quite sure he dared find out what these stashes consisted of at this point.
The rest of the stuff looked like legal papers and other complicated forms. Harry didn't feel like reading all of those at the moment. He'd only understand about 50% of the material anyway. They were probably just copies of the law, plus legal forms for his and Hermione's emancipation and marriage. On top of the stack, however, appeared to be his new schedule. Harry sighed a breath of relief as it looked like he'd still be going to most of his usual classes. Thank Merlin for at least a bit of normalcy. There were a couple new classes on the list, though they wouldn't be starting up for a while. Hogwarts probably still needed to get the teachers for them, or perhaps they wouldn't last for a full term.
"Harry, have you seen the schedules?" Having seen the new classes, Hermione was practically bouncing up and down and wondering aloud what they would be like. "I'm sure they'll be quite interesting, though I do wish they'd be a bit more specific in their descriptions. A few aren't even named! They're just labeled as a generic class!" She continued to muse and rant about the labeling failings, leaving Harry to just sit back and enjoy to the show, laughing to himself at how invested in school Hermione really was. After she had begun to calm down, the two noticed that they had nearly the exact same schedule. There were some slight differences in courses, but for the most part everything was the same.
By the time they had compared notes on the things they had received, it was just about time for dinner. They were almost out the door when Harry remembered something: "Hermione, we'll be able to get back in here, right? The portrait took my key when I first came here."
Hermione treated him to her Did-You-Really-Just-Ask-That? look, patent-pending. "Harry, that key that you got is just to identify you as someone allowed to enter. You don't need it to get in. It's really quite the complex enchantment! The portrait recognizes you now by your magical signature, so all you have to do is walk up to it and tell it to open!" Her eyes narrowed. "We got a set of instructions with our stuff on using it and setting a password if we want guests without giving them full access. Did you read any of those papers you received? I'm sure we received some duplicates between us, but it looked you got even more than I did."
Harry shook his head. "I really didn't want to think about it today, especially as I figured most were just legal stuff. Like the kind you agree and sign to without thinking. Besides," he added, giving Hermione a teasing push on the shoulder, "that's what I've got you for!" Hermione just rolled her eyes and pushed him pack as they climbed down the stairs and through the portrait, curious to see how their peers were faring.
Dinner was rather uneventful considering all that had happened recently. Harry and Hermione still ate with their fellow Gryffindors, talking about usual beginning-of-the-year topics like activities over the holidays, new classes, and the like.
It seemed that, for now at least, there was an unspoken understanding that student rankings and pairings would remain anonymous until everyone had time to settle in and adjust. Harry and Hermione had agreed, before coming down for dinner, to keep their pairing a secret for the time being. Neither wanted to have to answer awkward questions or sit through weird conversations. Besides, they already spent so much time together that no one would suspect anything out of the ordinary.
If there were other paired students in Gryffindor, they appeared to have had similar thoughts. Harry tried to keep alert for mentions of other pairings and rankings that people would slip, being curious, but no one seemed eager to brag or lament their personal status. He knew from his map that some students were already getting down to business, so to speak, but it seemed that everyone wanted to act like things were still normal, in public at least. Granted, when Harry thought about it, students playing "holster the wand" wasn't too uncommon really. This early in the year, people who might have separated during the summer holiday were still becoming reacquainted.
One of the biggest topics of the evening was who would replace Snape. Many people, students and parents, had been surprised and angry to learn that Dumbledore had hired and retained Marked Death Eater on his staff. People might have been able to understand him hiring the Moody duplicate, as that scheme was well thought out and intentionally kept hidden for most of the year. Snape, on the other hand, hadn't even been a good teacher, much less a likable one. He'd received threats and potential lawsuits even before people learned about his past. Now that he was gone, there was nothing anybody could do but wait and hope the replacement was better.
After a relaxing dinner and getting back in touch with friends, staying much later than they normally would have, Harry and Hermione eventually returned to their new living quarters. They almost went to the Gryffindor Common room after dinner by mistake, but Harry remembered at the last minute and steered them both in the right direction. However, things got awkward again when the two realized it would soon be time to go to bed. Naturally, this spurned a disagreement between the two friends.
"Harry, you don't need to sleep on the couch. The bed is plenty big enough for the two of us!" Hermione sighed, exasperated by Harry's sense of misguided nobility.
"It's not a question of how big its," Harry said. "It's been an insane day, we're both emotionally drained, and I don't want to impose on your or make you feel uncomfortable."
"Harry, I trust you not to do anything like that. Regardless of what we are now, you're still my best friend!"
"And I don't want to break that trust. What if turn in the middle of the night? What if I start sleepwalking or doing other...things...in my sleep?"
Hermione sighed. "Harry, no matter how we act toward each other, even if we never venture further than best friends, except to fill certain...quotas," both looked at the ground at that, feeling their faces grow warm, "from now on we're legally married. It's not like you can just sleep on the couch or in some other place for the rest of your life!"
In the end, Hermione's logic won out. Harry also had to admit that, while comfortable, the couch didn't hold a candle to the amazing bed. They both agreed to wear modest pajamas and stay on their own side of the bed. Harry got the bathroom first, and after he was done he went to bed as Hermione took her turn, opting also to take an evening shower.
When Hermione stepped out of the bathroom, Harry tried not to stare. He really tried. She wasn't even wearing anything revealing on; she was wearing simply a plain grey t-shirt and some red and gold flannel pants. The trouble was, Harry didn't often see Hermione in anything but her robes, which were far too loose and flowing to show off her curves. In the dim light, however, Harry could catch a glimpse of the nice curves of her ass, her hips, and her breasts. Her brown, curly hair was still wet from her shower and left damp spots on her shirt, though not in any interesting places. If Harry hadn't been starting to think of Hermione as a woman, and a beautiful one at that, he certainly was now!
"Shit," Harry thought to himself as he felt a familiar growth in his pants. He tried to inconspicuously turn so that his hardness wouldn't be noticed by Hermione. Thankfully, the thick blankets of the bed also worked in Harry's favor. Unaware of Harry's growing predicament, Hermione walked over to her side of the bed and, after asking Harry, turned out the light, moving around a little bit before settling comfortably.
"Good night, Harry," Hermione whispered.
"Night."
"Sweet dreams."
Harry really, really hoped his dreams wouldn't be TOO sweet. He didn't currently know a spell for silently, subtly cleaning bed-sheets, but if this was going to be his life from now on he might have to learn pretty quickly...
Thankfully, both Harry and Harry Junior slept peacefully and, for the most part, uneventfully. Harry's other wand, like most any other morning, was standing at attention when Harry first awoke, but he was mercifully still facing away from Hermione and had woken up relatively early, so all was fine. Harry put the problem to rest by taking a quick cold shower.
When he returned from the bathroom, Hermione was up as well. He muttered an apology for waking her up and she blushed, both quite unused to waking up in the morning with the other. Hermione pushed through and smirked, admitting she normally woke up somewhat early as it helped her get extra time on assignments. If she had noticed or suspected anything from Harry's early, steam-lacking shower, she didn't mention it.
After they had both gotten dressed, each taking a turn in the bathroom, there was still a decent amount of time left before most of their peers would be having breakfast in the Great Hall. Not wanting to just sit and wait in the room, the two decided to explore a little bit. Hermione was interested in seeing the locations the maps mentioned and the stashes the keys were for. She seemed to think that they might include rare books or magical items. Harry was a bit nervous about what they might find, but he too was intrigued.
They decided to start with one of the easier-to-find stashes, which was located near the Transfiguration classroom. As they walked, greeting familiar portraits as they went, Hermione wondered aloud what they might find. Perhaps a place for dueling, or maybe some sort of potion ingredients treasure trove. The Ministry was just using these to make things more exciting, to keep them happy, right? Harry wasn't sure what to expect either, but based on who he had gotten the locations and keys from, things might not be quite what Hermione was expecting. Harry didn't doubt the Ministry hoped these would keep students happy and get them excited, but it might be in a different way than his bookworm friend was thinking...
Eventually, the two arrived at their destination: a large painting depicting a nest of sleeping baby birds. Harry even remembered seeing the painting in earlier years, though he'd thought nothing of it at the time. Hogwarts was littered with paintings, after all, and most young wizards didn't take the time to inspect every one. Especially when this one featured so dull a subject. Had there always been something behind this particular portrait? Had the Ministry put it there? Did Hogwarts itself change, subject to student need or some other influence? Questions for later, Harry told himself, shaking his head. Maybe one of these days he'd actually have to read Hogwarts: A History. Harry and Hermione each held out a key, and at once two baby birds woke, lunged, and snatched up Harry and Hermione's keys in their greedy little beaks, proceeding to swallow the keys whole. The portrait opened up, revealing a small hallway, and leaving Harry and Hermione to wonder what in Merlin's name had just happened.
The duo entered, slowly following the hallway until they came to an old, wooden door. Harry wondered what the point of a secret passage was if there was juts a hallway to another door, but figured he should hold judgment until after he'd seen what was behind the second door. With a bit of coaxing, the two were able to push the door open together. Hermione cast a quick "Lumos," and they stared in amazement at what they saw. Then Hermione squealed with delight. Harry almost had to drop his wand to cover his ears, but she dashed away from him fast enough that he didn't have a chance.
In front of them stood close to twelve large bookshelves. Some of the books looked like they had to be hundreds of years old, while others looked like they could have been purchased from Flourish and Blotts less than an hour ago. Hermione was in her own personal heaven, already eagerly skimming the shelves. However, as her eyes traveled across the titles, she began to frown slightly. She looked to even be blushing a bit, though with the odd lighting of the room it was hard to tell for sure.
Figuring he should look at the books himself, if only because he knew they'd be here for quite a while now, Harry walked over to one of the newer-looking shelves of books and began browsing book titles. It didn't take long for him to understand Hermione's odd reaction. Browsing through the books, Harry found some very odd and questionable book titles: Hardwood Adventures, Book Three: Nymph Gets Seeded, The Mermaid and the Semen, and Sir Ramsalot and the Seven Maidens, to name but a few. Just glancing at the covers was starting to negate the effects of his cold shower, making the Boy-Who-Lived start to grow...nervous.
"You know, Harry," Hermione ventured, "what do you say we move on?" For Hermione to even suggest leaving a library, especially one she'd just found and one with books she'd never read, spoke volumes.
"Best idea you've had all day," Harry agreed. "Maybe we can check out of those secret passageways. We've still got a bit of time, and there's one on the way."
Hermione nodded and briskly made her way toward the exit, with Harry following close behind. On his way out, though, he caught a glimpse of a book near the door. It was called The Real Wizard's Duel: A Guide To Polishing Each Other's Wands. Harry couldn't help but chuckle and subtly stuffed it into his bag. Now he had the perfect anonymous Christmas present for Malfoy! Or maybe Ron. He'd love to see their expression when they opened it up. Hopefully, in Draco's case, Pansy would be there with him. Wouldn't that be a dark mark on Malfoy's reputation! Maniacally laughing to himself, Harry rushed to catch up with Hermione, who simply raised an eyebrow at his antics before shaking her head.
"I can't believe someone would store all those books in there," Hermione wondered aloud. "What's the point? Mr. Diyader gave us those maps and keys. Do you think he expects us to, you know, just sit in there and read? I mean normally I'd be fine with that, but those books just…"
"I think they're just trying to keep us happy and in an...agreeable mood...but they don't know how," Harry guessed. "They probably don't know what we'd like, so they're just giving us a...er...wide range of things to do."
"Right. Um, where's the secret passageway?" Hermione asked, clearly still shaken about the books.
"Should be just around the corner, through a false wall in the broom closet," Harry replied, checking the map. "Supposedly it leads a secret room with a one-way mirror that looks into one of the classrooms."
"I wonder what the point of that would be," mused Hermione. Harry shrugged.
As Harry and Hermione neared their destination, however, they heard something out of the ordinary.
"Yes, Frank! Right there! Yes! Keep going! Oh my god don't you dare stop stop I'm so, so close!
"That's it, bitch. You like that, do you! Yeah? You want me to knock you up! Is that right?"
"Yes...just ...keep…please...so…almost...YES! Merlin, YES!"
"FUUUCCCK!"
Harry and Hermione were too shocked to even move, much less run. Harry recognized the voice as one of the Ravenclaw Seventh Year guys. Clearly, some of the students were enjoying these new laws. Also clearly, these rooms were not exclusive to them. Maybe not even all that secret. Harry realized that, despite his embarrassment, the sounds and certainly started to have an effect on his beater's bat. Not daring to look Hermione in the eye, his face burning with embarrassment, Harry quickly stammered, "I need t-to use the ba-ba-bathroom. Don't wait up!" Without looking back at Hermione he raced away, desperate to relieve himself.
From that point on, Harry and Hermione stayed clear of any passageways or stashes recommended by Diyader. In fact, they tried to avoid most broom closets and other small rooms altogether. As the days went by, quite a few students seemed less and less reserved, and now it wasn't uncommon to hear students screaming in the distance if one was in the a less traveled area of the castle.
More than ever, Harry and Hermione tried to stay within their group of Gryffindor Fifth Years. Ron didn't seem to even mention anything, though whenever he heard students talking about rankings or pairings his mood turned a little sour. Harry got the distinct feeling that Ron didn't quite agree with how the Ministry had ranked him. Harry shrugged. Ron was a good friend, but he certainly could let his jealousy get the better of him at times. Best to just let the tall redhead come to terms with his status on his own. After all, Ron wasn't angry at Harry in particular, though Harry had no desire to tell his friend how well he had ranked.
Neville, on the other hand, seemed more confident than ever this year, Harry couldn't help but note. He was starting to do better in a lot of his classes, especially Potions. This might have had something to do with the new Potions Master, Horace Slughorn. Without his worst fear, Snape, watching over his back, Neville was able to correctly brew every assigned Potion. He'd even set a new personal record of zero explosions in the first week of school! Harry wasn't sure if Neville had been ranked highly or was just growing up, but he did notice that Neville and his Herbology partner, a Hufflepuff named Hannah Abbot, seemed to be on very friendly terms. Harry grinned, happy for his friend either way. Things seemed to be looking up for Neville.
Since there hadn't been any Quidditch the last year due to the QuadWizard Tournament, as Fred and George were trying to get everyone to call it now, everyone was determined to make up for the loss of time. Angelina Johnson had already started scheduling team training, so Harry had workouts or practice drills most evenings. Even though Harry was still in decent shape, having been able to sneak in a good bit flying during the summer, he still found the workouts quite tiring. Oliver Wood was gone, but it seemed his drive for total Quidditch obsession was lingering around.
Things with Hermione were hard to describe. Both Harry and Hermione, by unspoken agreement, had decided to never discuss what they had heard inside that room. Things were awkward enough between them, especially with a recent heat wave plaguing the castle. Normally Hogwarts didn't get too hot, even in the first few weeks when summer was still transitioning to fall, and Harry wondered if Diyader and his assistants were trying to affect the clothing of witches. In the case of Hermione, much to Harry Junior's delight, it was working.
"It's not like it's a big deal or anything, Harry" she had pointed out to him a few nights ago. "We'll be underneath the sheets anyway, so it won't be any different. We can even turn the lights out before slipping into bed. I just can't keep wearing these hot pants to bed. If I do, I won't be able to sleep at all!"
After that, Hermione and Harry stopped wearing pants to bed. Just the thought of Hermione in bed with only her knickers covering her lower regions, showing off her ass and legs even more, made Harry's basilisk more active than ever.
Harry experimented with many methods: reminding himself she was his best friend, thinking about what she would say if she knew, even trying to pretend that it was Ron on the other side of the bed. Nothing worked. Harry Junior, now restricted only by Harry's boxers, pitched his tent and demanded intense handling. Harry eventually had to settle with just making absolutely sure that he was as far away from Hermione as possible each night before he went to bed.
A few nights later, Harry had a long essay due the next day that he had to write for McGonagall. Just because the magical world was in complete chaos and the school was insanely different didn't mean the strict matron of Gryffindor was going to ease up on her high expectations for students. It was OWL year, after all. Stupidly, Harry had put the work off off until the night before. Unfortunately, if he had expected any pity from Hermione, he was disappointed. In early years she might have been more sympathetic, with some sort of evil aiming directly at Harry, that wasn't an excuse anymore. Also, he suspected she was putting more effort into making him develop good habits of his own, which he had to admit was a good idea anyway.
"It's your own fault for not doing it until now." Hermione had shrugged, sympathetic but unrelenting in his requests for help. "I know you've had Quidditch training, but there's still been plenty of time to do it! I'm going to bed, don't stay up too late!"
After hours of grueling research, writing, editing, and revising, Harry finally finished writing the essay. There wouldn't be time in the morning for Hermione to proof-read it, so he made sure to find every error that there was. While he was sure it wouldn't be the best essay McGonagall would receive, Harry was still proud of it. He was sure it was by far the best essay he'd turned in for any of her classes. By time Harry had added some finishing touches and cleared off his desk, it was nearly one in the morning.
Exhausted both physically and mentally, Harry quickly changed into his "pajamas" before diving under the covers and falling into a deep, blissful sleep. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), Harry forgot to put a pillow between himself and Hermione like he usually did. He also forgot to place himself as close as he could to the bed's edge. Oops.
"Harry!" Hermione whispered.
"Whu...is it...still dark...why?" Harry, groggy and confused after being partially woken up and generally out of it from working so late, had no absolutely idea what was going on.
"Harry!" Hermione whispered more loudly this time, giving him a nudge fully waking our hero.
"What is it, Hermione? If this is about the essay, I finished it. You don't have to nag me," Harry pouted, a little hurt.
"It's not that. It's...um...well...Harry, you're kind of poking me." Hermione shifted a bit, which felt nice.
"Wait," Harry thought, "why does that feel good?" His eyes widened in fright, realizing for the first time that he was cuddled up against Hermione and that, even worse, his basilisk was resting contently against Hermione's lower back, no doubt hoping to discover a new Chamber of Secrets.
"Oh fuck! I mean, no, not that, just, well, crap!" Quickly, full of both embarrassment and shame, Harry turned over and shifted as far as he could from Hermione. "You know, maybe I'll just go on the couch tonight," he added, starting to pull away the blankets. Great. Things had already been awkward before. Stupid essay. Stupid penis. Stupid Harry.
"Harry, it's fine. You don't have to do that." Hermione tried to reassure him, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him back into the bed. "I know it was just an accident. Just forget about it."
"I can't, Hermione. This is the first time it's happened, but if we keep sleeping like this it probably won't be the last. That's why I always sleep so far on the edge. If I didn't, this would have already happened days ago." He couldn't see her in the dark and because he was turned away, but Harry had a feeling that Hermione was deep in thought.
After a bit silence, Hermione asked, "You mean it gets big like that every night?"
Harry Junior swelled with pride, much to Harry's shame. He sighed. This was his own fault, he knew. He had thought there would be nothing more embarrassing than getting caught. It seemed that he was wrong.
"Yes" Harry muttered.
"Pardon?"
"Yes, it gets big like that pretty much every night."
"Hm." Hermione was spending a lot more time with this then he'd thought. Harry was almost wishing she had just yelled at him and then went back to sleep, or at least let him go to the couch and wallow in shame on his own. "Is that because of me?"
"Not exactly. I mean, I pretty much get hard every night, girl in my bed or not." Realizing what he was saying, Harry backtracked hurriedly. "Though not to say that it's not because of you! You being here certainly doesn't help." Now red faced, Harry really hoped he hadn't overdone it. If Harry had been paying attention, he might have noticed Hermione perk up at that. In more ways than one.
"Well," Hermione replied. "There must be some way to get rid of it. We probably shouldn't...um I mean can't...have you poking me with it, and we also can't have you practically falling off the bed like you've been doing lately. How do you usually get rid of it?"
Harry's face felt like it was on fire now, like the Hungarian Horntail was letting loose all over his face. "Well, normally I'm alone, so I kind of...I sort of...well...rub off." Harry couldn't believe this was happening. If only areal Horntail was around to eat him and save him from this shame.
"I'm sorry, you what?"
"I rub it for a bit, and then...um...when it's satisfied it goes back down." Yes, a quick angry rant would have been so much easier. Or being chased by a dragon again. So much less painless. Why couldn't there be a dragon here right now?
"So you masturbate until ejaculation?"
"Uh, yeah." Leave it to Hermione to know all the fancy, scientific words. Somehow that made it even worse. Worse still was that somehow he was still hard! Merlin damn magic-enhanced hormones.
"Well, why don't you go in the bathroom and do that then. That should solve our problems."
"Oh, uh...yeah. Sure."
Just thankful that the ordeal could finally be over, Harry quickly climbed out of the bed and almost ran to the bathroom to appease Harry Junior. For good measure, he turned the water on in the shower so that Hermione couldn't hear him rubbing one out. When he returned, Hermione was already sleeping. Harry crawled back under the covers, still wary of being too close to Hermione, and fell asleep.
Had Harry done some "undercover" work, he might have been surprised at what he found. But he didn't. He failed to notice Hermione's new position in bed, as well as the sweat on her body and the unusual dampness of her knickers.
/:Note:/ Well, readers, there you go. Another chapter completed! Hope you all enjoyed it! Please leave a review and let me know how much you love/hate it. Critiquing is always nice. By the way, I was thinking about this earlier today, anybody know about how many total students Hogwarts has in a given year? I was trying to think of what number dead last would be. I'm sure there's some expert among you who knows that off the top of his/her head. Anyway, have fun. I'll try to bring you more chapters and terrible puns soon!